Due March 2025 thread 2

[Zuzu2020]

Hi guys just making a new thread as the old one is nearly full :)

@MarchingOnwards congrats! That’s really wonderful news for you! Try to enjoy every minute! 🥰

@MarchingOnwards amazing news. Congratulations!! Xx

Feeling quite underwhelmed here. I was speaking to my friend saying now I've had my 12 week scan and we're approaching 14 weeks I've bought a few bits for the baby. Her response was why are you starting to buy so early when the risk of losing it at that many weeks is still so great. She's 9weeks herself so I was surprised for that response!! I just cannot believe some people and how they feel comfortable to say you might lose the baby?!! So insensitive!

Is anyone buying a fetal Doppler that you use at home? They’re about 70£ on Amazon. Not sure if it’s too early to buy for 12 weeks and don’t want to cause anxiety if I don’t hear anything. Has anyone used one before and are they fairly easy to use?

They are generally not recommended for home personal use as it can be difficult to pick up the heartbeat (even by a professional sometimes) and it can either be worrying if you don't find anything or reassure you that things are fine if you are worried about reduced movements etc but have picked up your own signals. I'm a very anxious person and can understand why people would want them but it's worth talking to your midwife about beforehand and they will be able to explain it better.

Unless you are medically trained this can be a really dangerous idea - you could mistakenly hear your heartbeat as baby’s and this can have very serious consequences. I wouldn’t usually tell someone not to do something with their body/pregnancy but this is definitely one of those times where I’d break that (that and forward facing baby slings after I had to help a couple whose baby had experienced positional asphyxiation - only ever 20 minutes when they are awake and over the recommended age and head control!!! - still one of the worst experiences in my life- can’t imagine what the parents went through . ) I don’t want to add to any pregnancy anxieties but I’ve heard some awful outcomes from these.

@hopefullyTTC2x @IMBCRound2 yeah youre both right. A friend of mine has literally texted me exactly what you’ve said.
im super super scared! 12 week scan tomo!

If you think the dates might be out would you consider a NIPT test instead?
Or having a private scan to check dates first and then could try to get your nhs one in the right window?

I had an nipt test for peace of mind even though my nhs screening was fine. It was a lovely experience with another sneaky look at baby which in your scenario might be good reassurance?

That's sad coming from a friend, even if the thought was there you'd think she would've just been happy for you.

I've bought stuff along the way and I'm only having my 12 week scan tomorrow. My thought process is what's meant to be will be whether you buy stuff or not!

But whatever you want for your baby 🫶🏼

@UncharteredWaters I've had 2 NHS early scans now, one put me a week behind which is the date they booked the 12 week scan on but then had a second one a week later where baby had caught up. I've explained this to them but not heard anything yet. I'll maybe try again in a few days or ask my midwife if they can help. Would definitely consider the NIPT but guessing I'd have to pay for this privately so would have to look into cost etc. Might be worth it for reassurance though

@Patientlywaiting7 strictly no from me me, my midwife said I'm very anxious as it is and lots of people struggle to find heartbeat if baby's in funny position or they listen to the wrong thing and brush off if something could actually be wrong so I'm not x

@Ellsx6 yes abso right. Apparently it can actually pick up mother’s heartbeat instead! So scary. My anxiety is stupidly ridiculous. Wish it could just go away!

@m00ngirl @HappyGoLucky31 how are you teacher ladies getting on? I was thinking about emailing HR about my timetable so that I don’t have to move around with lesson changeover in case someone bumps the bump down the line. Is this normal to ask? We don’t get our “own” classrooms. What are your thoughts?

@26dX she hasn't had any private or nhs scans yet so perhaps she's more anxious than me to start shopping and that's fine but she then went on to say just because you've had plenty of scans doesn't mean the baby couldn't have died after a scan like are you crazy?! No longer a friend anymore! Some people just don't know how to speak to a pregnant woman..
It's not about money id be heartbroken either way whether I spent or didn't so let the fun commence of getting ready for the baby is my opinion😅

I have a private scan booked for Monday when I'll be 10 weeks something. Feeling a bit anxious about things not being right (ate some blue cheese last week without really thinking and now stressing out about listeriosis because I have a mild cold ...) but hopefully will see a healthy, wriggly baby in a few days!

Sometimes people really project their own insecurities. It sounds like she’s telling you something that she’s telling herself. Of course it’s your choice to do as you please with the friendship but sounds like she’s being just as hard on herself. I know it’s not easy but have you tried to communicate how you feel? You’re right some people don’t know how to talk to pregnant women but it’s probs because they don’t know how to be kind to themselves either which is super sad. Anyway be gentle on yourself and don’t allow this to ruin your happiness.

im a bit scared and haven’t bought anything similar to your friend but yes I’d never say that you someone .. bit mean but again she’s obvs very insecure

You’ll hopefully feel more reassurance when you feel movement… I meant to add that to my post! It’s horrible at the moment when there’s nothing to help convince you they really are ok .

@Patientlywaiting7 mine to but since the 12 week scan it has dropped massively. Have you spoke to midwife about your anxiety's? I did and she was going through statistics with me that's really helped my anxiety a lot. Also express your anxiety to the sonographer at scans and ask how likely it is that they see something go wrong after this point ect. I'm always asking things like this and the answers always reassure me that everything will be okay. How are you symptom wise? Still nothing? I feel exceptionally good and energetic now I wouldn't even know I was pregnant if it wasn't for all the scans! I've had a lot of sharp/shooting pains this week which is supposedly round ligament pain and scaring me a little but midwife said is normal at this stage so that's helped. I'm just trying to think it's a good thing because my body's stretching for my growing baby!

@Ellsx6 i feel the total opposite. I’m like a mouse in those scan rooms. My husband does a lot of questions which does help. I think I’ll take a leaf out of your book and ask more questions. Haven’t openly discussed anxiety - I feel really really silly when it comes to my own anxiety. But I’m also trying to patient and kind to myself! I’ve have 4 failed ivf transfers / which were HORRIFIC! So getting pregnant randomly and naturally is still mind blowing to me - even 12 weeks on. Don’t think I’ll ever be able to come to terms with it! 5 years in the making! ❤️❤️

@Patientlywaiting7 she told me as soon as she found out at 4 weeks and has expressed she's not anxious and she knows it'll be fine and doesn't want my support which is fine some people get on better without the support but from how she talks to me it seems she's struggling! I tried to explain to her that I've felt all the anxiety she has all the way until 12 weeks and understand how she feels but please don't say things like that as I have anxiety already without her telling me the baby could've died since my last scan. That's just bizarre and so insensitive and also not okay regardless of how she feels! I know she has greater risk of something going wrong at her gestation than mine but I would never highlight that to her and scare her I've been there I know how it feels!

I don't feel like I'm blindely shopping..my consultant told me it's the same risk after seeing a healthy baby at your dating scan as it is the whole way through now so I let myself get excited and started buying and that's okay to. Everyone does things differently and I respect that but I definitely don't respect someone telling me my baby could be dead inside of me and I wouldn't know yet I'm buying things. Especially a friend..I just couldn't believe it I am still in shock now

@Patientlywaiting7 it still doesn't feel real here either after trying for 4 years and being told we'd never conceive without intervention. I feel like I'm buying for someone else's baby and cannot even imagine that my baby will be wearing these things im buying them it's crazy! It's crazy that there's even a baby the size of a nectarine in my belly right now!! I count my lucky stars!! Speaking is very important for your mental health and you're not silly! Remember these healthcare professionals have seen thousands of women most which are also very very anxious there used to it and won't remember you specifically out of the bunch for asking extra questions so don't worry!💕

@Ellsx6 wow. That is really really weird .. “I don’t need your support” wtf. What a weird thing to say. Yeaaaah I get your point - cut that off - you don’t need that in your pregnancy or life!

I find all of your stats that you share on this forum insanely useful even if we don’t always message. So please.. carry on ! I want all the support I can get ! Xx

Thanks girl ❤️🌹massively appreciate it xxx

@Patientlywaiting7 'after seeing a heartbeat at 12weeks, there's 97% chance you will have a healthy full term born baby' is what my consultant said! She also mentioned not all of the 3% of them baby's don't make it, it includes baby's born pre term or born with illness too which most survive! Xx