Things you didn't realise about giving birth until after the fact?

[LizzeyBenett]

Have to say some of it was a surprise for me some things I didn't know about but sure did find out :

• haemorrhoids - not one person warned me about this makes total sense but ouch

•the stretch marks (down below) that one shocked me but I suppose what do I expect after pushing a baby out.

•the hot flushes for weeks after giving birth

Honestly just the intensity of having a little person depending on you for survival. Like logically I knew it, but it was more intense in reality experiencing it especially with breastfeeding ds fed up to 9 hours on and off some days.

Similarly how much of a spare part dh would feel like - even though he was great and took over the cooking cleaning and practicality everything else so I could focus on feeding and recovering he still felt like a spare part a lot at the start.

The power of sleep deprivation and hormones. I was walking around in a fog with no memory and very little cognitive functioning for months.

And that ppa was a thing. I'd never heard of it and thought all the intrusive thoughts in my head were me losing my mind... and how linked it is to lack of sleep.

And that I'd have after birth contractions after a section!

The blood, both during and afterwards.

After pains! Barely recall them after my first, just part of the general aches and twinges. But my second, they hit like a train! The woman next to me on the ward had her fourth baby, I heard the midwife confirming they tend to get worse with each baby. If I wasn’t done at 2 by then it would have made my mind up!

After pains which get worse with every successive pregnancy. Worse than the contractions giving birth.
How much it can hurt to learn to breastfeed. Your nipples can really suffer for weeks till they toughen up. One bad latch feed can do you in for days !

What do after pains feel like?

Oh yes, I hadn't really realised about afterpains at all, they were horrific. Each time I breastfed they kicked off. And also night sweats due to the hormone shifts. I hadn't realised the full horror of lochia, either.

I wasn't able to string a sentence together for weeks after 😂 and the afterpains, oh Jesus

Afterpains feel like contractions. It's your uterus contracting and shrinking down, the hormones related to breastfeeding can trigger and intensify them.

The pain and recovery of having a c section. Had mine Thursday and I can still barely walk, in agony and can’t breastfeed baby as can’t hold her near my belly.
Another thing is anxiety! I don’t sleep at night I watch her in her cot making sure she’s ok

Look into the owlet sock I've a 5 week
Old and it's the only reason I nod off.

The sweltering heat and noise of the post-natal ward. I discharged myself immediately. It was unbearable.

And that sometimes your body gets it wrong and doesn’t make breast milk, and that the best advice, hormone checks, frequently pumping, SNS etc etc can’t make it happen.

How long you bleed for after birth.
The likelihood of good of getting prolapses.

I never realised despite reading loads of books and thinking I knew it all that the contractions are what REALLY hurt not the pain of the giant baby head fitting through a small hole.

I just remember being very surprised that all this could possibly be expected. Ie carry a baby, give birth, then feed it and have no sleep for months.

I remember thinking gosh this is hard. Surely someone has got something wrong here this can't really be expected!

🤣🤣 quickly realised no cavalry coming over the hill ⛰️🐎 and that the only thing to do was to try and make the best of it.

I was a child before and after I was an adult.

Clitoral atrophy

We live in an area where there are lots of people who have incredibly large families so lots of women have home births with no pain relief but by baby number eight and nine they're having gas and air for the after pains!

Feeling like you've been hit by a truck but having to go home and 'get on with it'. I can't think of one single other condition that would not only expect you to have your body so literally torn apart, lose blood like nobody's business, hurt in places you weren't even sure you still had and not sleep for more than half an hour at a time - but just expect you to look serene and 'enjoy your new baby'.
It was brutal.

Agree with this the pain after my waters went was another level I don't remember pushing mine out not sure it'll it's the gas and air or I blocked it out I just remember her being placed on my chest have to keep asking my DH questions about what happened

Afterpains. Can't remember them with first - I was on a lot of painkillers for c section and trauma adrenaline as DS was criticality ill. But after the twins.... Dear lord! And consider od had two c secs so only ever had mild contractions. I actually thought they'd left one inside me and the secret triplet was making his escape 🤣

That you can really smell bad. I didn’t have this with my first but after my second, I just smelt bad every day for several weeks. Apparently it’s so baby can smell you but still, it wasn’t pleasant!

Oddly, they were bad with my first but barely had them with my second, even though I breastfed both!

After pains for me too , i had no idea and thought i was about to go into labour again a few hours after giving birth to my 2nd baby ,i was well prepared with my 3rd and took regular pain relief straight after and for a couple of days post partum and i was fine.

That snapping back isn't as instantaneous aas the name implies.

That my baby would scream before he was all the way out. They don't do that in the movies.

Honestly just the intensity of having a little person depending on you for survival. Like logically I knew it, but it was more intense in reality experiencing it especially with breastfeeding ds fed up to 9 hours on and off some days.

This and then having family descend and expect me to look after them - a baby that scream if not being held by me didn't help - I just felt exhausted and ached and wanted to be resting and bf. Few month later it was being really ill and just having to get on with it all despite that.

I was on my own. From day 1 with dc1 and no one mentioned the anxiety I'd feel about making all the decisions alone (I had this overwhelming feeling of if I make the wrong decision it's all on me) after I closed the door on my parents who'd brought me home.
When having dt, no-one warned me I'd stop contracting after dt1 was born then start again but only last stages so pain was off the scale. I'd opted for gas and air, if I'd have known I'd have gone for something stronger (too late when your pushing), most painful 20 minutes of all my dc.