Things you didn't realise about giving birth until after the fact?

[LizzeyBenett]

Have to say some of it was a surprise for me some things I didn't know about but sure did find out :

• haemorrhoids - not one person warned me about this makes total sense but ouch

•the stretch marks (down below) that one shocked me but I suppose what do I expect after pushing a baby out.

•the hot flushes for weeks after giving birth

No because everyone I know that had a c section said they were up and walking about normal by Day 3. My sister in law said she was all good by Day 7. I’m on Day 6 and still struggling to walk and get up etc. Also my first baby no one explained the aftermath of a c section I just listened to the ‘it’ll take a week to get back to normal.’

Ok I'm sorry to hear that, but an expectation to be " normal" by day 3 is unrealistic reguardless of how you have given birth after a C- section even more so. Breast feeding is harder after a section ( again generally speaking) all the midwives of my acquaintance said " with a vaginal birth the pain is before, with a c-section it is afterwards", but it's harder cos you have a baby to look after too. With child birth it is really a case of pick your poison. I hope you continue to feel better and congratulations on your lovely baby.

So much pain, pain beyond all imagination. So much blood. That your bladder can burst. Post partum haemorrhaging. Almost dying. Several times.

That I would vomit SO much during labour #1.

That despite that, labour #1 was largely quite a Zen experience that felt just like a hard workout (lots of sweat!!) combined with bad period pains.

That getting stitched up after baby #1 would hurt more than the labour and birth combined (my sister, who is an anaesthetist, says they often use this anaesthetic gel before doing it but most non-anaesthetists don’t wait long enough for it to work/kick in before cracking on 🪡 🙄)

That I would feel like I was coming down with a fever when the milk started coming in

That I would be SO teary on days 7 and 8 pp

That I would have so many intense dreams both during pregnancy (often non baby related but just downright WEIRD) and after birth (usually about something happening to baby)

That you’re not guaranteed the same type of labour every time 🙄 My 10-hour, 8-day-late labour with baby 1 became a 10-day-early 2-hour labour with baby 2. My Zen experience with baby 1 changed to stabbing pains in the bottom of my bump with baby 2 which totally immobilised me and left me screaming into a pillow with every contraction. All the hypnobirthing I had so valued with baby 1 went completely out of the window with baby 2!

That I would end up with a home birth the second time through (not my initial choice but it was so lovely to just be at home in my own bed from the word go after having him)

That my pre-baby weight/belly did come back…eventually

*

Luckily I had read up enough about breastfeeding to give it a swerve. I knew it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows and wanted my body back!!

I was also lucky enough to never experience after pains.

SO much power to all of you. Some of the experiences described here are brutal.

The constipation.

it was like a second birth 😖

How sick I would be in labour. I vomited so much first time round that I had to be put on a drip to rehydrate me (and I think I was given something to stop me throwing up all my internal organs bar my womb too)
Far far worse than any pain during labour, so I didn't need any analgesia, and both my labours were backache labours
And yes the afterpains, especially second time round, but I tried to remember that it is actually good for the womb to contract as quickly as possible, so looked on it as a positive as much as I could, having known someone who had a post party.haemorrhage that was not immediately after the birth. Also got rid of.a bit of retained placenta in one almighty afterpains, which wouldn't have been good to hang around
At least I wasn't vomiting

It did really feel premature at the time. I felt so slow and vulnerable. That said, I was still happy to get home to my bed and away from the ward.

The thing that really got me was the pain when I got home. I was given strong pain killers to cover me for two days. On the 3rd day, I was in agony.

The pain was something I was not expecting - I lay trapped on my back with no way of getting up - not even for the loo. I peed onto a bed pad. Couldn’t feed the baby. I called the maternity unit. They told me to take ibuprofen and paracetamol. The HV called the maternity unit when she came: “We can’t help her unless she comes in and is readmitted”. How they expected that to happen I don’t know. I literally couldn’t move for the agony. I didn’t need readmission just painkillers. With no way of moving, I lay in agony for a day until it passed.

I don’t know of any major abdominal surgery where they’d send you back home the next day with a couple of days of painkillers. I felt very neglected at the time.

Sound really stupid now but I didn't realise you still looked pregnant for a while after giving birth. Silly me thought once the baby was out your stomach would go flat again straight away. How wrong was I?

It is bisarre, is it only UK that does this?
My friends in Scandinavia were allowed much longer and in their own rooms!

The pain relief I had with one of mine was just a box of morphine and assorted paracetamol etc. No dosing, just ‘this’ll last you a few days’.
Naturally all the morphine went first … and after that the other medication didn’t touch the pain.

I didn't know about the hot flushes either, was perplexed as to why I was waking up soaked in sweat in February when it was literally snowing outside

I didn't find out until near the end of my pregnancy that you bleed lochia for 6 weeks after the birth, couldn't believe it. Fuming.

Not PP but I didn't realise it was normal to leak a tiny bit of urine when pregnant, I was so worried about it. I got the Squeezy app and did regular pelvic floor exercises through my pregnancy and I have no problem with my pelvic floor now

I wasn't expecting the afterpains after my first. I was told it was second and subsequent babies - got them so badly that I had to hand the baby to someone to hold for a few moments while I rocked... But (and I've had five) they didn't get worse with each baby.

Painful varicose veins down below. luckily they did go quite soon after dc was born. Also not being able to sit down properly for weeks after an episiotomy and the fear of going to the toilet after giving birth.

That you become incontinent afterwards.

I knew about the bleeding, I knew the first stool would be difficult/painful. I did NOT know that you stop being able to hold even a small amount of urine once your bladder decides it's time.

@Neurodiversitydoctor Things I found more painful than my c-sections + recoveries: Root canal, wisdom tooth removal, eyebrow threading (actual worst pain of my life. THE AGONY), that time I fell down a flight of stairs in a nightclub.

The most painful part both times was having the cannula put in. Otherwise I was just achey and uncomfortable.

@AimeeLou84 I'm so sorry you're having a hard recovery. I hope it gets easier for you soon.

Oh yes this, i have a very keen sense of smell, i hated it, sort of warm and yeasty….yuck!

also your the after impact on your fanny, never the same as it was……

That the side effects of an epidural that you think will never happen to you, absolutely can and you still suffer from them 7 years later 😬

Some things were easier than expected…

Only had light/moderate bleeding for 10 days after. Way easier than any period I’ve had.

I didn’t have any after pains and used no pain relief once gas and air wore off. Despite an episiotomy (first baby) and a third degree tear (second baby).

That I would leave hospital the day after giving birth weighing less than before I was pregnant and be back in normal clothes less than 2 weeks after.

Some things that were worse…

That breastfeeding is excruciatingly painful, first baby was constant weeping nipples. Second baby I was slathered in Lanolin so no cracks (yey!) but the pain everywhere else was agony. I cried for 5 weeks every single feed. I’d happily go through labour again over breastfeeding.

That having your first poo when stitched up is more frightening than giving birth, at least you get a baby after giving birth!

Bless you.
My little boy was in neo natal for few weeks. He just got discharged on Wednesday. It's so hard watching people come and go with their babies when yours is in neo natal. We only got limited time to hold him out of incubator. You feel like you've missed out so much on their life. I kept feeling like everyday he was changing and it was hard watching other people take care of your baby.
I didn't feel like his mummy in there, I just felt like a visitor going to see someone else's baby as you can't do anything without permission and without eyes a
Watching you

Yes! Stretch marks on my pubic area and between my butt crack. I expanded massively around that area in pregnancy!

No one told me my butt would deflate! Like where did my Bum go to!

Vericose veins Postpartum! Had none in pregnancy. Then had a massive one on my leg PP 😭

No one told me 48hrs PP baby would be a milk vampire all night none stop! No one!!!!! Thanks!

Contractions worse then pushing and Transition! Omg!

The difference between a ‘tear’ and a ‘graze’?! I was told I only grazed so didn’t need stitches (by the midwife), the doctor recommended stitches, they bickered. I left without…something did indeed rip! Apparently only muscle tearing counts as a tear. Now I have a stray piece just kinda… there 🥲

Ok….so I had induction & an epidural…first & only pregnancy...i didn’t realise how painless the whole birthing thing would be or fairly pain free it was afterwards… even the first time having a poo with stitches.
i hope this true experience might help anxious first-time-pregnant-ladies…it really isn’t always as excruciating for everyone as many people make out.

Getting stitches was bloody painful! I remember lying there, feet in the stirrups whilst the midwife stitched the Bayeaux tapestry on my bits saying loudly 'this is so fucking undignified' in the poshest voice ever.
The fact that you can poo whilst in labour.
The first wee after giving birth! So very painful.
That I smelt of sweat, milk and goodness knows what for ages, despite showering daily.

Did they not numb you before stitching you ??

See my earlier comment: my sister, who is an anaesthetist, says they often use this anaesthetic gel before doing it but most non-anaesthetists don’t wait long enough for it to work/kick in before cracking on 🪡 🙄

so they may well attempt to numb you but it doesn’t always work!

I am one of life's spewers so I absolutely did expect to vomit the whole time - consequently I flagged down a midwife the second I felt queasy and got an anti-emetic shot, which resolved that problem completely.

I had assumed that essentially the process of giving birth world be something that got more and more painful as it went on, with pushing the baby out being the worst bit. Actually, transition was pretty unpleasant but the pushing was basically fine. That came as a (pleasant) surprise!