Things you didn't realise about giving birth until after the fact?

[LizzeyBenett]

Have to say some of it was a surprise for me some things I didn't know about but sure did find out :

• haemorrhoids - not one person warned me about this makes total sense but ouch

•the stretch marks (down below) that one shocked me but I suppose what do I expect after pushing a baby out.

•the hot flushes for weeks after giving birth

That not all babies cry and scream after birth like in films and on tv but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them. That would have been helpful to know, I was terrified my babies were poorly or worse. Only one out of 3 of mine cried and that was after a good rub!

Afterpains, holy hell! I have a high pain threshold and manage labour and birth well but after my third birth jeez, they took me down! I found them more painful than birth!

That there’s no time to recover /convalesce after the birth. You’re straight in with feeding and NOT resting 😆😫

Vomiting through labour. Didn't know that was a thing.

After pains... screaming in agony with my second DS as each time he nursed my uterus would contract back. At one point I was crouched on the tile holding DS and howling as a spreading pool of blood pulsated out of me. Far worse than giving birth without pain relief and I will never do that again!

The intense shivers and shakes after giving birth as the adrenaline leaves your body and the PAIN of my milk coming in. I knew they'd swell up and be painful but my tits felt like they were going to explode - I was convinced I had some sort of infection and none of the midwives were taking it seriously!

That is like all the way through my EMCS

How long it would take.

Labour started with pings in the small of my back on Saturday morning, and ds finally arrived at 7.50 on Monday morning.

And also how completely and utterly useless ex was. He kept whining that he was tired. 🙄

How much bloody they'd be afterwards and how bad the after pains were second time round, honestly as bad as Labour. God help any women having 3 or 4 children how bad does it get
Oh and how flabby and stretched my tummy would be afterwards 😬

Not everyone experiences those things. That’s why no one told you.

The absolute surprise and delight when I first saw my baby’s face and feeling the same with each baby. I couldn’t wait to take them home.

Also that it is possible to have three membranes, one inside the other, with waters in each.

After pains after the 2nd. Felt like labour again 😩 ,the massive blood clots too after the birth too.

The first post partum poo. Thank god for the handles in the hospital loo

I had an emergency section for high blood pressure so didn't experience labour as such but when they put me on monitors while I was admitted they asked if I had had any contractions and I said no. Turns out I was having some mild ones but I didn't recognise them, until a midwife pointed them out, because of the location: - first contractions are often described as link period cramps so I figured they would be in the same area, nobody told me they start at the top of your bump!

Of pushing and pushing and nothing happening. I kept telling the midwife something was wrong, ended up with an emergency c section. He's now a very healthy 19 year old but trying to get the staff to listen.....🙄🙄 He got stuck in the birth canal and his oxygen started to drop so it was go to surgery

haemorrhoids - not one person warned me about this makes total sense but ouch
•the stretch marks (down below) that one shocked me but I suppose what do I expect after pushing a baby out.
•the hot flushes for weeks after giving birth*
I didn't have any of them. One thing that did freak me out though was the feeling that all my insides were going to fall out of my vagina! I called the health visitor in panic. She came round and laughed ( not meanly) and said she thought she was going to see a load of entrails on the bed! Apparently the feeling was normal and everything went back to where it was supposed to!

I had no idea after a c-section you bleed from down there!

I thought this only happened with vaginal births???

I remember the nurse came in and said can i check your pad to monitor bleeding. I didn't even know I had a pad on.

I also had no idea I wasn't allowed to eat during my induction. Once I was in the labour ward absolutely no eating, this shocked me!

Honestly, I had no idea how painful contractions would be. I guessed it would hurt as people talked about it, but the bone crunching agony of it was unexpected. Afterwards I looked at every woman i knew with children and internally sneer at her with a cold, dead heart and silently hiss...'you knew!'

No aspect of parenting, not the cracked, bleeding nipples, sleepless nights, setting alarms at night to feed, relentless nappy changes, the responsibility, the hormones, the busted up undercarriage or abdomen, the blood, after pains or any aspect of parenting forthwith EVER came close to the absolute shock of the intensity of contractions.

My facial expression was like Bishop Len Brennan after Father Ted kicked him up the arse, for about 3 months afterwards.

I didn't realise how much I would hate other people holding my baby - their smell on her, yuck - and how much I just wanted to be alone with and protect my baby.

Also I didn't think labour would be as painful as it was. It was unbelievable.

Didn't realise I'd be fat for a year after giving birth (always been slim without dieting)

On a positive my vagina is exactly the same size as pre baby. Everyone jokes about massive vaginas after babies and I genuinely didn't think it was possible it could just go back to the same size. I guess I swallowed all the misogyny bullshit on that and was expecting a baby-head-sized vagina for evermore ... Whereas actually mines exactly the same as pre birth.

I was also very shocked that I didn't get a rush of love when I saw my baby. I was just like, 'Oh, it's over. He's out'. Love them all to bits now, though. Once I got over the shock of the birth!

Constipation. Why don’t they give you laxatives on discharge? I ended up not having a poo for 3 days and in agony on all fours on the bathroom floor taking lactulose and trying to dig it out with my fingers. It eventually…made itself known but it was the most intense pain I’ve known.

I genuinely thought I was back in Labour and they'd missed a twin 🤣🤣🤣

Do you mind me asking if you had stitches?

So much I didn't know about!!

The transition phase during labour. I only had it with my second but it was awful. You can feel sick, be sick, shake, feel REALLY scared...

Yep, to the after pains too. After my fourth labour, they felt as bad as the labour itself 😬

Also the ripping that needed to be stitched up after my first (then having an anal fissure which was also as bad as labour 😖).

Maybe only I felt this, but I really hated the feeling of the baby's body slithering/being pulled out of me 😫 Just horrible.

BUT, really, I had four very quick and easy labours (the above is just the bad bits and, overall, my labours were fine).