Things you didn't realise about giving birth until after the fact?

[LizzeyBenett]

Have to say some of it was a surprise for me some things I didn't know about but sure did find out :

• haemorrhoids - not one person warned me about this makes total sense but ouch

•the stretch marks (down below) that one shocked me but I suppose what do I expect after pushing a baby out.

•the hot flushes for weeks after giving birth

For me, it was that your nipples spray like a shower head and not like a tap...maybe that's just me?!??!

Couldn't agree more.

also pushing. With dc1 and dc2 I pushed and then they went backwards as soon as I stopped pushing. With dc1 I thought the midwife was pushing him back in! Took half an hour to push them out and I couldn't believe it took so long for them to travel such a short distance. Although when I had dc3 he pretty much fell out with very little effort on my part.

I must have been lucky as I don’t think I had after pains- had c section, would that be why?

I expected to see my baby and feel like he was familiar, I’m not sure why. But when I saw him I was surprised that he was a stranger to me when I’d felt him squirming around for so long.

I also went into hospital as someone that uses the cubicals to get changed at swimming baths, and came out as someone ok with letting other women milk me and show them the contents of my sanitary towel.

The degrees of tear that could happen during childbirth, I was very naive to the fact and didn't realise how common it is, I ended up with a third degree tear after my first which traumatised me.

Yes this!
I'd never heard of it before and just happened to mention to my midwife how much of a pointy shape my belly was when I went to sit up, only then did I learn what it was and that there is certain ways to get up and down, lifting etc to help prevent it getting as bad.
My youngest is 15 months and I still look 6 months pregnant.

How much of a crier I have turned into. Pre baby I very rarely cried, if ever. After baby - I cry every few days, they’re tears of happiness but my god I am such a whimp!!

My own bladder capacity, following a failed trial without catheter post-section. I thought I was about to burst when I alerted one of the midwives, and then I had to wait almost an hour longer because they were just about to start the staff handover. Google says that it would be exceptional for a human bladder to hold 2 litres. My lived experience says otherwise.

That your first pee can look like blood

That transition can make you loose your ability to speak.

Omg the first wee... goes on for about 5 minutes, frothy and smells like pure meat!

Giving birth to the placenta - I was SO done by that point. 30 hour active labour birth for DS1 and DS2 was about 8 hours but way more intense.. both times they said are you ready to push out the placenta I almost lost it (even with the injection to speed it along)

That after twins coming out in less then a hour, my poor vag would be forever busted due to prolapses and now resembles a ham baguette.

That it would be the one pain I was completely unable to control. I can breathe through anything except childbirth and I was made to feel a failure by the midwives.

Day 3 after giving birth, when the pregnancy hormones drop and breastfeeding ones shoot up and you can't stop crying even though nothing is wrong!

That how dilated you are at any given point is totally meaningless. You can be 4cm and holding a baby 20mins later.

That even the best midwives, doctors and nurses won't believe what you are saying in labour if it doesn't fit with their previous experiences (I mentioned a few times that my baby's head felt wrong and too soft when I touched it... told that "babies heads are soft". It was an undiagnosed breech and I was feeling her bottom.

I absolutely hated the post natal ward. I was completely overwhelmed, overstimulated, overtired and overheated. No one showed me where anything was and I felt so alone when my partner wasn’t there.

My DP had to fight to get me discharged on day 2. I’m so glad he did because I couldn’t face another night in that place.

The bleeding. I mean I obviously knew women bleed after childbirth, and the midwife did tell me to expect an amount of blood that could in no way be compared to a period. But I did not expect that giant diaper to look like somebody kept emptying buckets of cherry sauce into it!

And the hot flushes and night sweats. My goodness. I mean it makes sense, estrogen is at its all time highest when you're giving birth and plummets soon after, so obviously it would feel like acute menopause on steroids, but we seriously don't talk enough about that part!

And the general aches, pains and weakness. I mean, okay, I should've expected to be sore after having my private parts cut open with scissors to allow another human being to escape, and then needing my core muscles to regain the ability to once again support a normal human spine and truncus, but I did NOT expect to be unable to stay on my feet for more than 10 minutes at a time for the first two weeks without intense pain and fatigue.

I'm one and done by choice, and not because of all the horrible after effects of giving birth. I'd survive that again if I had to - but I really don't miss it!

Having you tiny new baby sleeping in your arms after breastfeeding, though... Just snuggled into your chest, smelling of newborn baby... that memory out weights all the horrible stuff by an astronomical amount.

The "bleeding" afterwards!

I knew that I would bleed, but why did my mum, my sister or my best friend not tell me that it the "bleeding" was not like a period that I was led to believe it more like huge chunks of liver dropping out. I was shocked and thought that my uterus was disintegrating.

If anyone tells me that they are pregnant after the normal congratulations I warn them of the "bleeding". My friend work was grateful as she thought I was exaggerating until it happened to her.

Oh god, the postnatal ward! Why the hell do they heat it so much, also too noisy, too bright, and no one gives a fuck whether you get painkillers or food.

That I wouldn’t be able to wee no matter how much I tried! Had to have a catheter.

The mucus plug came out in pieces, I thought something was really wrong!

I knew about piles, but fuck me I thought there was a bone coming out, had to get the GP involved.

I wasn’t prepared to be awake for 50 hours solid.

I wasn’t expecting to do it all on gas and air, and I was expecting to remember much more/be aware of what was going on. But I absolutely wasn’t.

The anxiety about everything and the fear that either me or my husband and our baby were going to die. That took weeks to lessen.

That if you don't get the right help pelvic girdle pain can be chronic and can continue long after birth. Apparently there were ways they could have helped and advice they could have given, rather than just learning that I pretty much couldn't walk and leaving me to get on with it.

I was like this on gas and air while parts of my labour I don't remember , I don't remember her being born just everything after she was placed on my chest

The vomiting with every contraction from about 4cm to 7cm dilated when I finally got an epidural. That allowed me to stop vomiting and gather my strength for the pushing phase. The doctor said that apparently some people’s bodies cope with severe pain by vomiting. Who knew.

I'm not a mum and I think you are all superwomen ✊️🤩!

I feel this thread should be published far and wide, left at bus stops, pubs, etc! It is a testament to women’s strength and endurance, yet so many people wouldn’t have a clue about what many women go through, beyond the basic facts.

Night sweats
Hair loss
Anxiety
That breastfeeding can be really hard
Heavy periods when they return
Joint pain(only stopped when I stopped breastfeeding)

Oh and take paracetamol in your hospital bag for after your labour/c-section!! I asked 3 times during the night and no one listened, luckily I had my own.