Things you didn't realise about giving birth until after the fact?

[LizzeyBenett]

Have to say some of it was a surprise for me some things I didn't know about but sure did find out :

• haemorrhoids - not one person warned me about this makes total sense but ouch

•the stretch marks (down below) that one shocked me but I suppose what do I expect after pushing a baby out.

•the hot flushes for weeks after giving birth

I had this (and still have significant problems 23 years on).

Oh gosh yes, the vomiting! I have such a phobia of vomiting but birthed for 28 hours stinking of the stuff. Never a sick bowl around when I asked. Stitches were agony as they tightened and the first poo took an afternoon. I called the midwife out for the stench which came back immediately after a bath, think it was called offensive lochia. She prescribed something anyway which worked. Totally agree about the utter shock of being expected to just get on with it. I had an epidural and could not stop shaking. The midwife refused to take the baby from me, even though I was sure I'd drop him. That was a rude awakening!

Then the first shag. Oh hell. That was horrific.

They wanted me to stay in for the night with my second baby and I just said no because I had such a crappy time the first time round. You can always just leave, they have zero authority over ‘making’ you stay somewhere.

(Of course if I felt it was medically necessary to stay and I NEEDED hospital care then I would have opted to stay)

Definitely the after pains! I actually found them worse after my first baby than my second. Second they did hurt and started sooner after birth, but with my first I was literally on my hands and knees on the floor in absolute agony on day 3

Each month your body lines the uterus in preparation for pregnancy. When you the don't get pregnant, your body sheds that lining - your period.
So if you do get pregnant your uterus keeps on lining itself and has a nice thick layer inside - this needs to be shed after birth . Thus -you bleed. It's has nothing to do with the method of birth but the physiology of the uterus.
Also there where the placenta tore loose from the uterine wall is basically a wound, so that contributes to the bleeding.

Currently expecting my second and my son is 5 so I'd forgotten most of this😫bloody hell, now I'm shitting it. I've just remembered about peeing for a few days after. Maybe a week. I had to lean as far forward on the toilet as possible so the pee didn't touch the abrasions I had or I went in the bath! I remember nearly going dizzy with pain when the pee did touch the abrasions. Though I do feel very lucky that I only had abrasions so I'm trying to hold onto that!

I'm so glad you mentioned this. I just assumed it's because my husband and I finally got each other. If that makes sense. Like we had enough practice and now know what to do. (Yep I was a virgin when we married😂) I just thought we got better and better at it.

The pain after having an episiotomy, Oh my goodness I couldn't sit down for weeks, I had to sit on a doughnut cushion 😫😂😂
That was with my first, with my second luckily didn't need one.

That they would use so much unnecessary force to get my baby out that I had a complete uterine prolapse at 21 years old and have suffered ever since.

The consultant said at a check up afterwards they shouldn't have used any force at all (it was a locum on the day) as he'd checked everything including my pelvic structure under xray and my anatomy meant I should have had a really easy birth, he just could not understand why they did a massive episiotomy, used forceps and ventouse and he actually said I should start legal proceedings.
I didn't because I was shell shocked and ended up with PTSD and post natal depression not to mention irreversible physical problems and now it's too late.

The hormonal rollercoaster afterwards, including when you stop breastfeeding. I feel deranged.

I wish I had know this before my section! I was left for hours. Grrrrr.

That when you stop breastfeeding you have a massive hormone drop. Sent me into a 6 week (at least) depressive episode and I had No idea It was linked to breastfeeding.

okay TMI alert… but, I didn’t realise that my actual butt hole would change “angle” slightly… I was cut from end to end and stitched up again so I shouldn’t be surprised… but the healing was amazingly fast!

Did this happen to anyone else??

Water retention. I swelled up like a balloon after having DC2. I was quite alarmed. I’d had a home birth too and the midwife didn’t visit till the next morning but luckily MIL popped in and told me it was normal.

I’ve never even heard of afterpains until this thread! And I’ve had 3 babies 😬

I was lucky that breastfeeding was a breeze and though I could feel my uterus contracting it just sort of tickled.
My boobs though… good lord. I had enough milk for triplets and they went from A-cup to enormous and feeling like they would explode if I didn’t feed frequently.

Stopping breastfeeding after 14 months with the first two was at least one week of horrendous pain and I could barely put on a top until the milk stopped.

Same.

My kids are big now. I’d forgotten much of this!

Wasnt prepared for how bloody difficult breastfeeding was..: assumed it would be natural/ instinct would take over

The blood bath
The ripping pain when uterus contracts back weeks after
That I would lack sleep so badly I wouldn't remember my own name
That after birth can be left inside and they don't always get it all out. I had to go to out of hours doc. It was infected and needed removing.
That epidural means you can't feel to push and everyone is screaming at you to do something, baby was really struggling, I was crying and getting yelled at. They had a trolley ready for c section but managed to get him out. They were cutting his scalp to monitor blood pH or something.
I didn't know how scary it could be.

@BeautyAndTheBump1

Oh yes! I would wake up, realise baby wasnt in my arms. Panic! Then see her asleep in her crib

This is a good one! I was probably incredibly naïve, but these are my"surprises":

• Zero dignity while giving birth, you are treated like an inanimate object most of the time
• Pain, even with all the pain relief. Needles stuck everywhere.
• Damage that can happen to your lower region if you are unlucky - no one told me how bad it can be. No one, literally no one, prepared me for this (I heard "some cuts" and "tears that will be repaired" but not "you will be ripped and cut any old way and then stitched with not much care" and "after giving birth your fanny will be like a bucket" 😂)
• The fact that you can breastfeed almost straight away - that was, like, WOW!
• Your stomach does not go down, you still look pregnant after giving birth
• How perfect and beautiful your baby is

Definitely this! Also how long it takes to get stitched up - I was anticipating two or three stitches but it took over an hour!

I found out about the sweating only a few weeks before l gave birth, only as my boss mentioned it in passing
The post birth bleeding starts quickly -l had had a c section for clarity. For reasons best known to themselves the hospital hasn’t put a pad underneath me. So l bled on the bed and then when l stood up I bled profusely all over the floor
Post birth the body creates hormones that shrink / tighten the vagina even when you have a c section. I found this out after having sex 6 weeks post partum and my husband was struggling somewhat!

Oh, yeah and people expect so much from you post birth. I had twins and was 43, sleep was very tricky towards the end of the pregnancy. Then l had 2 tiny babies to look after. Maternity / post-birth wards are the worst and we left after 26 hours. The heat and noise was too much for me

Pooping for a couple of weeks afterwards is a terrifying experience.

Contractions can ‘couple’ so you don’t get a break between them…

Breastfeeding is really hard practically and emotionally.

Yes! I had this with my second, I was so self conscious for weeks!

Hang in there, it does get better. This was me last year. Had my section at 11am and wasn’t able to get out the bed till the following morning. Felt like I had been hit my a train. I also had horrendous anxiety which I think was made worse by the shock of how immobile I was.
Do you have any help at home ?