Due July 2024 - part 4

[Oatmilktea]

The other thread was filling up so thought I would set up a new one!

@Sophie3003
@ceruleansky
@Amberellaella
@wannabe123
@glasshalffull0
@Morningcoffeeaddict
@missmoosh
@Jess725
@AnonymousXXIX
@Busyhedgehog
@Nocoffeenotalkie
@justanotherlaura
@Honeymint
@Savvy21
@hopingfor23
@chilliflakesmum
@ExpectantEs
@AimeeLou84
@Welshgal85
@TooHappyToday
@Bali200

I’ve tagged people from the last few pages of the previous thread, hopefully everyone makes there way over here when the other one fills up!

Snap!!!

@Cherubs4 and @Busyhedgehog….you’ve got me wondering if it’s possible to move to Germany and get a job in the next 6 weeks! 🤣🤣😆

Just wanted to jump in and say that I'm in the US, due with baby #2 late July, and this time around i have chosen a birth center birth which i am paying $8k for upfront, but which should be fully reimbursed by my health insurance. Last time around i had a hospital birth and I don't remember how much was billed to me but it was most definitely NOT in the thousands. The maximum i could ever be billed in one year is $2.5k i think. Also, i will be taking 7mths mat leave exactly as i did for baby #1.

Sooooooo, yes the disparity in US healthcare costs and mat leave provision is gross, but it's definitely not the same all across the country/across providers.

Originally from the UK, so definitely not defending this system, just sharing what my reality has been.

@ceruleansky not sure why they don't mention that before prescribing. I had found out after reading the leaflet. And I have taken them for years!!!! Oh dear.

I am using the same birth plan as last time 😂 just printing it out again.
Still on our babymoon as baby has really made it tricky. The needing to pee every 10mins has begun. Head using my bladder like a cushion and feet under my ribs. I've had 2 days of good sleep and the rest been up at 3am! Today none stop kicking and atretchinf my lungs it feels like! So uncomfortable and when I try play still and sleep it gets worse. Do had to walk around the hotel hallway until I thought baby is back asleep. Taster of what's to come I guess.
On the bright side DS is having a fantastic time and DH is catching up on sleep. So at least they are having good rest.

@blablablahagain my BFF is from Florida, native, and opted for HB due to costs she is a Full time SAH so insurance for that not feasible. She just had a midwife at all 4 HBs and the fee was very reasonable.

@AnonymousXXIX I am jealous of my Irish and Romanian friend. My irish friend geta 12months but her DH also gets 12 weeks!!!!!!! We need paternity leave here a proper one as it was horroed for both of us when DH had to go back to work after 2 weeks.
My Romanian friend gets 2 years Mat leave paid! Snd job secured.

I have a few mates dotted around America and it varies. Some mamas only get 1 month Mat leave unpaid! Some get a few months unpaid.

Also instattes to nest with this baby at 16 weeks 😂 only because I knew it would take so much lomger with DS1. With him I started at 35 weeks ane he arrived at 39w 4D.

Well I woke up in the middle of the night and realised that the letter I received from HR only states that I'll get 27 weeks pay?! Guess I'll be spending today trying to sort it all out 🤦🏼‍♀️I just don't understand what's happened. I work for the local authority. There's no way I'm the first person to go on maternity leave!
In terms of paternity leave my husband gets 6 weeks full pay! We are feeling very lucky.

@wannabe123 that reminds me I need to email HR as my letter says my mat leave starts on the 28th but it’s actually 26th. Much more minor but I should sort it out.

hopefully we both get it sorted - I wonder if yours is talking about extra pay that your employer put in? I only get that for the first half then statutory for 3 months then the last 3 months are unpaid, which matches what I had at my previous employer.

@Morningcoffeeaddict unfortunately my job is being "absorbed" from September so I can't go back so don't qualify for anything extra. According to the government website though it doesn't matter if your contract ends you are still entitled to 39 weeks pay with 6 weeks at 90% and then the rest at SMP.

Agreed on the abominable paternity leave! DH's company gives him a whole four weeks. He is also taking all his annual leave, scraping together a second month. Like, that doesn't even cover the fourth trimester, what the...! Apparently we can have shared parental leave over the next year but he'd only get statutory pay, and he earns way more than me, of course, as men do, so it would be financially really stupid to do that. Short or long leave, I think it should at least be equal time AND pay between men and women because we will NEVER address social inequality in any other way.

@MixedCouple2 see, as someone with a career, I don't know about the 2-year year situation in some countries. If you have 3 children it means, as a woman of course!!, not working for a decade! For one my mental health would take a nose dive, but also, for two, what a nice gap on the CV. On which topic: when I apply for promotions and stuff I mention mat leave and child care, because it is hard work that should be acknowledged better! And I bloody wish DH would do the same; he and his male tech colleagues basically pretend they don't have children. Whenever someone on a call asks how the weekend was they talk about the weather and sports; while his manager has FOUR small children!

Ugh sorry morning rant over.

@wannabe123 oh that’s frustrating. I see what you’re saying yes the 27 can’t be right then - I was thinking I get the 39 but only 26 of it includes the extra on top of SMP, but if it’s just the SMP then you should definitely be getting the full 39.

Hope they sort it for you quickly!

@wannabe123 Did you have enough service to qualify for any OMP offered? If they're absorbing your job role from September then you're essentially being made redundant so they would need to offer you an alternative role to go back to. Might be worth a call to citizens advice to see what they say before you speak to your HR? Pain though as these last few weeks should be stress free.

@Savvy21 unfortunately because I'm on a temporary contract it just means my contract isn't renewed

@wannabe123 ah ok. Although I think you have more rights if the temporary contract has been renewed for more than 2 years? Even though the Equality Act has been around for ages, it seems that workplaces still try and do one over on pregnant women.

@AnonymousXXIX I’m with you on not wanting a massive career gap. I’m an academic and progression is very much a function of hours/years put in, which invariably means that people with kids progress slower than those who have kids but leave all the childcare to their wives and work 60 hour weeks don’t. Not that I’m bitter about it 😂

Also, I find childcare much harder than my job and am constantly in awe of sahms and childcare professionals!

@Amberellaella oh my god yes - my toddler was home from nursery 1 day this week, and I think my job is way easier. It makes sense, I studied and practiced for it for years. I don't have a PhD in babies!

I can't possibly pay more for childcare than I already do but those people are HEROES and deserve to be compensated better than they are.

@Amberellaella 100% agree with you. Half term last week and I was burnt out by lunch time every single day and kept falling asleep the second I sat down. Back to work / preschool this week and I’m making it all day wanting a nap but not quite falling asleep at least! SAHMs and childcare workers are incredible!

Ooh, @AnonymousXXIX are you an academic as well?

Me too @Morningcoffeeaddict, I have to nap Fri/Sat/Sun when my daughter is home (luckily she still naps too, so I can) but can just about make it to bedtime without on a nursery/work day!

It is nuts how childcare workers get paid such low wages when they do one of the most important jobs in our society.

Anyone else clearly see baby's head/butt when they lean back? We can clearly see it, can't tell which end it is though!

@Amberellaella glad it’s not just me! DS doesn’t nap anymore sadly - although he did nap with me on one of the days. He’s been very patient entertaining himself for a bit most days but he’s woken me up a few times.

@ceruleansky not quite see him but when he’s back to front you can very clearly feel all along baby’s back. I can’t tell which end is which, but the midwives assure me he’s back head down. When he rolls over it’s like a Mexican wave the amount my stomach moves now!

Hi everyone!
I'm back from holiday and planning on setting up the WhatsApp group tomorrow, so pop me a private message with phone number and I'll add you. I have had 6 of you message already 🥰

I have also worked out how to do the link, but I am a little reluctant to post on here, as it will be more controlled access via message.

Hope you're all doing ok!

I don't think it's that long in Ireland at all?
I thought it was 6 months paid maternity and 2 weeks paternity?

Yes! Very clear outline of baby here,can also see knees, heels and elbows!

How is everyone getting on with names? Anyone chosen?? I have some that were favourites pre pregnancy but I feel like I've gone off them all, I wonder if it's hormonal

@Morningcoffeeaddict
Wow! I wish I could tell which end is which. I just see a pointy bump or circle in the middle and I can't tell if it's the head or butt! Is there a way to tell?

@Cherubs4
Knees, heels and elbows??! Woah! How far along are you, if you don't mind me asking?
I have some names in mind but I don't know the gender and I feel like I need to see the baby to name him/her..

@ceruleansky 36+1 - never had it with other pregnancies but if I recline now, I can make out the outline. I know it's the bum sticking out, firstly from the scans, but you can also make out the leg and if I rub it, he starts to move and then you see the knees and feet etc. My midwife said she could see all of hers that clearly but the trainee midwife was amazed at how much movement you could see.

@ceruleansky when my midwife feels she is very good at telling me what is what (and I ask if I have had something random sticking out!). Not sure if they do that to everyone but I ask as my daughter was breech and I never asked about positioning but I am more interested this time!