Due July 2024 - part 4

[Oatmilktea]

The other thread was filling up so thought I would set up a new one!

@Sophie3003
@ceruleansky
@Amberellaella
@wannabe123
@glasshalffull0
@Morningcoffeeaddict
@missmoosh
@Jess725
@AnonymousXXIX
@Busyhedgehog
@Nocoffeenotalkie
@justanotherlaura
@Honeymint
@Savvy21
@hopingfor23
@chilliflakesmum
@ExpectantEs
@AimeeLou84
@Welshgal85
@TooHappyToday
@Bali200

I’ve tagged people from the last few pages of the previous thread, hopefully everyone makes there way over here when the other one fills up!

@Nocoffeenotalkie
Congratulations on the arrival of your little one! Glad everything went well, hope the jaundice clears up soon..!
Mine has some physiological jaundice but it isn't detected in the blood. Apparently the yellowish eyes and slight yellow on the nose fade by day 21.

Congratulations on the new babies I might have missed.
Our little one arrived last night and weighed 7lbs 15oz. She's mostly been sleeping all day today. DS met her and was a bit sad that we couldn't go home today, yet. She had some trouble breathing and both of us had a fever, which is why they rushed her off for assessment and then observation shortly after her birth.
Since the induction wasn't working, I had asked for them to break my waters. They were really reluctant about it but eventually agreed. Half an hour after, I was back in the delivery suite with back to back contractions. Luckily, the maternity ward was only one corridor away so I managed to make my way over rather quickly. Absolutely hated the pain but got a "walking epidural", which was a relief. Managed to get some rest and then eventually pushed DD out just before midnight. Only had a little tear, which they stitched up shortly after. I have a cold, though, which is really annoying because I keep coughing.
She's not interested in breastfeeding, yet, and hasn't really eaten much today. We'll see what the night brings. I'm shattered now and need a sleep.

@SapphireSeptember aww bless. I can imagine it must be an emotional time for you. 75mls! Each feed????? Huh? Is this and IBCLC who advised this? Is baby having lots of wet nappies? I would ask for a second opinion. Hope baby feels better soon.

@outliers snap! 40 weeks. My contractions stopped nothing in the last 16hours. I had intense cervical ache last few days and contractions at night and in the day. Baby is doing fine and moving lots and reaponding to my touch a lot. But doesn't want to appear yet. My DS1 was 3 days old at this stage 😂
I did a 2 hour walk yesterday, birthing ball last 2 days. Side stepping (3 story house) been very active and full of energy. I slept amazingly last night. And nothing 🤔
I tried 1 tablespoon flaxseeds this morning soaked in a 50mls of water. Less potent then castor oil. Hoping a good rest tonight will help. I have my Midwife apt on Friday!

@Jess725 and @missmoosh amd @Honeymint Congrats of delivering your babies and welcome to the world. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 hope you all have good recoveries and lovely newborn snuggles.

@Busyhedgehog well done Mama on making that call. Congrats. Shows Mama knows best. Hope she is feeling better soon and your both get to go home.
Don't worry DS1 was not interested for the first 48hrs the 2nd night he was a Milk vampire and was feeding aaaaaaall night! My milk transitioned on day 3/4 and full milk day 5! I stressed so much but it worked out fine and he only lost 4% of his birth weight. So he made up for being sleepy the first 2 days. In just kept pumping and hand expressing every 2.5hours and offering him the breast before hand.

@MixedCouple2 thank you! Enjoying a nighttime snuggle atm!

We have decided to formula feed, I was never going to EBF anyway but we were going to try and combi feed with formula. But despite the midwives help, we can get little one to latch but she just won’t take from the breast very well/ if at all and gets so upset. The couple of times she did take from breast i really wasn’t sure on the sensory feeling either for me (didn’t hurt or anything but triggered my autism sensory issues). So half way through today I decided that it was best for my mental health if we just went with the formula and I have felt so much more relaxed since!

@ceruleansky Thank you! He's doing much better today. 75ml of milk seemed like a huge amount when he was barely drinking anything, but now he's drinking milk like it's going out of fashion.

@wannabe123 He's drinking it all now! It's because he's on antibiotics, poor little boy.

@Nocoffeenotalkie He's doing much better now! No, I did try but when I was told I should be pumping for 30 minutes every three hours I decided against it. I can't deal with that on top of looking after baby and myself, and trying to sleep, as I'm on my own at the hospital. I'm going to formula feed him. A decision I made regretfully, but I need to be present for him, and he just isn't getting breastfeeding, despite that first feed. 🥺 But that was the important one, and I'm glad we managed that at least. ❤️ As long as he has a full tummy I don't care how that happens. I'd love to breastfeed him, but it's just not going to work for us. He gets really upset when I try to put him on my boobs and it's just stressful for both of us.

@Busyhedgehog Congratulations! That sounds stressful but at least your little one has arrived at last!

@MixedCouple2 Didn't even think about questioning it. But like I said he's drinking that and wanting more, waking up hungry less than three hours later, and doing really well. It's also based on his weight, and the antibiotics. It seemed like a huge amount at first, but he seems to want it.

Congratulations on all the new arrivals ☺️. You are all excellent mums and are doing great x

@SapphireSeptember yes, that is a lot to deal with. Not sure I would manage pumping that amount of milk that often either. You're completely right it doesn't matter how he is fed as long as he is getting enough to get him through this and you're able to enjoy your time with him. When my first was in SCBU after her birth, it was overwhelming and breastfeeding (pumping) on top was not a positive experience for us. I was running on fumes and a lovely midwife said to me, "Breastfeeding is good but not if it is having a negative impact on your enjoyment of baby."

When I first dusted off my pumps this week I thought oh what a faff... But actually I'm right back in the swing of it now. I just pump for a few mins once a day to alleviate engorgement a little, and I'm getting at least 80ml each time so enough for a bottle or two. Freezing it though as I don't need to do bottles atm. I donated loads of milk last time so can always try to do that again.

Still struggling with some pain but got a hold of my local private lactation consultant so hope I can make an appointment this week. And also found out I have a local breastfeeding support group so will venture down there next week! (Still very much in bed watching Bridgerton right now ha.)

@Nocoffeenotalkie Indeed! I was actually discharged today. Little one had his last antibiotics injection this morning, was checked over and was told he's well enough to go home. My blood pressure was a tad higher than they liked but I got given some meds to take and they sent me home. Had to take a trip to Tesco and left £50 lighter. Would have been nice if my so called partner had helped with feeding his son. 🥺

@AnonymousXXIX glad pumping is going well. Thats great I never was able to to pump much so I kept my Haaka for let down and engorgement only.
Thats great you were able to get in touch with an IBCLC. I have saved details.of a couple local ones just in case.

@SapphireSeptember glad it has worked out with formula for the both of you.
Not necesseirly the end of the road lots of women reatablish it much later on if they want to. Hope your getting to rest.

@missmoosh after my awful experience with the midwives and nursing that's not surprising to read. Most hospitals have an IBCLC reachable up to 6 weeks PP. I was given the number for one but she was over an hour away. I did end up getting the hang of it but those 2 days on hospital the Midwives were not able to help.

Had my 40w scan and baby estimated to be 7lbs 14oz. So surprised it DS1 was 6lbs at birth. I do feel much much bigger this time and much more uncomfortable. 0 sign of labour now all quiet. But baby is all good.and happy.

So don't think it's braxtons anymore. Been in the latent phase labour for 2 days now.

Contractions were every 6 minutes last night, this morning it's every 10 minutes and extremely painful. Creeping back to slowly.

Haven't been able to sleep properly in 2days. EXHAUSTED.

Supposed to have a sweep tomorrow which I think I'll have to cancel. Or maybe I'll go to confirm how dilated I am.

Because I'm aiming for vbac so conscious i need to carefully time when I go hospital. I've messaged a relative to come and get DC cause i can't focus on care anymore.

Gosh that sounds so hard @Outliers. Hang in there, you can do it!

@Outliers oh no! Maybe go along for the sweep still and see how far along you are. They don’t have to actually do the sweep but maybe worth it if you don’t go into active labour before then just so you aren’t even more exhausted when you do!

@Outliers hipe eveeything went well with your apt?

40w 3d and had intense co fractions from 8am -11am but they kinda stopped but my cervix feels odd and I am super tired today.
I feel like I am experince prodomal labour.

@MixedCouple thanks for checking.

It has been an exhaustive emotional rollercoaster ride experiencing contractions and sleep deprivation over 3 days.

Can confirm that against all odds my VBAC was successful and DC was born still in the sac earlier this evening at 40+3. I would like to write more details but needless to say, I'm very tired.

Best of luck to the remaining July bumps, not long left to go.

Congratulations to you @Outliers glad to hear baby has made their arrival. I hope you’re getting plenty rest and enjoying the newborn cuddles

@MixedCouple2 Thank you. Did try him on my boob yesterday because he was upset and nuzzling the front of my top, but it didn't work. That made me cry. 😅 As did realising my baby bump is going down. Actually been crying a whole heap the past few days. I know it's hormones but it's frustrating. I'm at my friend's house at the moment and she's kind of taken over. Nice because I get some sleep, but at the same time I'm trying to establish my routines and that's gone out of the window. Nevermind, that will come when I get home and get to do my own thing.

@Outliers Congratulations! That sounds incredibly exhausting, but glad your little one arrived safely. 💐

@missmoosh
Congratulations On the arrival of your little one!
I hear you and I'm also feeding and formula feeding DS. The first feed he gets every morning is a formula feed so that I can get a few hours of sleep after being up at night. The rest of the time I try to BF but if he gets fussy or my nips are done I just give him formula.

@Busyhedgehog
Congratulations on your little one! Hope you're doing well now..

@Outliers
Congratulations on your successful VBAC! Hope you and baby are doing well!!

@SapphireSeptember
I can resonate with you. I cried so much the first few days and I felt so bad about my bump going away suddenly without being prepared. It gets better, my baby wouldn't latch and it was so hard. He would cry for 30-45 minutes because he couldn't latch and I would cry and it was a mess. I had to give him formula because he lost some weight and then I started to pump and things got so much better. It helped increase my supply, regulate my flow and it didn't hurt as much as BFing.
Things are much better now, I pump once a day which is sufficient for night time feeds cause I'm not fighting with him to BF after 10pm lol. Just hold on, accept help and do whatever it takes to keep them fed. Don't feel guilty about anything, it will ease up.

I wanted to say thank you for taking the time to write this out for me. It really helped because it's honestly everything I needed to hear.

You're right, it's hectic, no matter what you cannot predict or establish any kind of pattern to newborns.

I think things are much better now. He'll be 3 weeks on Sunday and I understand his cries and cues much better, so much so that I know exactly what to check, even if someone else is handling him I'm able to guide them.

The only thing I've found helpful is pumping the first thing in the morning and feeding him that the next morning between midnight and 5 am so that i don't have to BF at that time. I don't have it in me to BF him early in the morning right now.. so DH and i bottle feed him my milk. I can only nurse until from 10am to 9-10pm and after that I'm pretty much beat. We give him formula if my stored milk is over just for one morning feed so that I can sleep a little. And when he falls asleep in the morning I pump. The rest of the day I BF him every 1-2 hours so this is what works currently and it has helped me cope!

My boobs have desensitized so it's only the initial latch that's painful but after that it's okay. He's also kind of learned to drink without nibbling and gnawing.

I'm sorry you were given such awful advice. There's nothing wrong in holding them to sleep, or feeding them to sleep. I was also told not to allow DS to suckle to sleep, but they're new to everything so it's okay. We can always make time to set rules later. Right now I just want to survive and enjoy him. It's difficult and lonely but I feel like him and I understand each other much more.

My relationship with DH has kinda gone down the drain though. I can't remember us ever arguing so much in the last 13 years that we've known each other. But I've accepted that he really cannot help with the newborn. He doesn't have the patience to put him to sleep.. Perhaps he can when DS is a bit older.

In any case, thank you for your post. I really appreciate your words. 🩷

@SapphireSeptember don't worry about routine at all or stress about it. Rest rest rest as much as possible.
Baby blues are verry normal. Cry it out and eat some yummy comfort foods of you can. Just feel what you need to and your will start to feel better soon.

@Outliers Congrats!!!! Well done Mama - 3 days is exhausting but now it is over and your can rest. That is so rare to have baby while in the sac. Apparently it can have loads of benefits to baby!

I am so sad I had false labour last night and it was so intense like with DS1 but didn't progress. From 10pm until 6am. I managed 2 hours sleep. Midwife did a home visit 3cm only and my cervix was not forward facing was midline. Still haveing contractions but not as often. Once every 5mins-10mins.

@mixedcouple2 thank you very much. And totally understand your disappointment, i wouldn't worry because things can change quickly, especially as you've had a child (I'm assuming vaginally) already.

Last week the midwife couldn't even reach my cervix it was so high up and I'd never dilated by past 1.5cm in previous labour induction. By the time I arrived at hospital I was only 3cm. It was only until like 16 hours later (3.5 days for rearly contractions) did midwives confirm i had finally started active labour.

I say all that to say don't be discouraged, baby is coming soon

@Outliers thank younfor the supportive message.
My contractions were every 2-3mins and lasting 1 - 1.5mins. It was intense and felt like real contractions like with DS1. After 3 hours of it I thought thinga wouod be further along. Yes I did have my first vaginally. With him I had 15hours from start of contractions - being born.

I spoke to my midwife and she said it sounds all good. She said rest as I didn't sleep last night and eat well.

@ceruleansky on relationships... Hang in there! Just remember you care for each other and you care for your child and you're both good people. Eventually (and I mean it might take 6 months or a year) you'll be able to go on a walk or a date and reconnect, and hopefully in hindsight the struggles won't seem as big as they seem now. I know that doesn't make it feel better right now though : ( Stand your ground for yourself and enjoy your baby.

With that said... I could use all the advice I can get here! Due to fertility issues we got pregnant by surprise the first time (well and the second time too tbh) and I knew it was going to be a problem between us... But awareness has not helped tackle the issues. We have different parenting philosophies and a ridiculously unbalanced mental load situation, and it's SO HARD. I've gone through periods where I was certain we should break up. But also periods where I thought that was silly and we're a good team really. Fortunately so far the latter have dominated over the former... But we did get a therapist last year. And every phase throws us new curve balls, toddlers are a whole challenge of their own. I do think we're in this relationship for the long run, but we need to put in some serious work to ensure everyone is actually happy...

I wish it was something people talked about more! But I understand why friends and family might not, because - for many reasons - it's not nice to make your partner sound bad.

@AnonymousXXIX
You're right, it either has to get better or we have to find humour in all the things that go wrong. I'm also trying to let loose on certain things as I know our kid needs a mix of both of our parenting styles. My orderliness and his happy go lucky way to life.
I don't think I can wait 6 months we have a date set for August where we are going to leave the baby with my mum and his mum and have dinner at least. I gotta get out of the house and my PJs!!

I totally get the mental load thing, I don't know if husbands/partners just don't remember what needs to be done even though we live in the same house!
I hope you have a break from the stress. It's true, I never complain about him to anyone, I feel it's better solved between us. Because even if we have a fight and talk about it with somebody, we will probably get over that fight the next day but the third person remembers and forms their opinion on our relationship.