How old is too old?

[queenofmums]

Would you say there is an age limit of having children?

No offence but this will end up
in a bun fight. It always does. There will be a load of ageist crap spouted and people who have endured older parents will tell you how awful it was for them. These threads never end well.

fWIW biology tells you how old is too old. That might vary between women. My best friend had an unexpected baby at 46. Both were/are perfectly fine.

For women - it’s just biology. So in the 43-46 age is usually the latest. These women still make fabulous mothers. Not too old.

For a man, I believe they should adhere to the same limits. So men 50+ are on the old side. 60+ definitely too old.

But men will selfishly become elderly fathers and rarely get criticised. Whereas women having children aged 40-46ish (even though it’s perfectly naturally possible) get all the criticism…

I wouldn't have wanted to have children past 30, but I'd had one at 21 and one at 26.

I'm 38 now and wouldn't actively plan another because I am "too old". But then if I got pregnant again next week, or at 50, I would be having a baby.

So in my mind, although I'd be too old now and certainly at 50, id be having a baby if I got pregnant at any point.

I'm asking for personal reasons... I have children... and am currently 45... I now thinking about am another baby.... our youngest is almost a year and half. We are young parents (for our ages! Hubby is 52) ... but due to the taboo.. I'm worried that ppl will perceive us as... why are they having another baby at their age... or to think.. why should we care what ppl think!

Before the menopause. Follow nature I think.

No I don't think there is age limit, if your fit and healthy and of sound mind then why not have another baby if it's what you want, my grandmother had her last baby at 47 :)

I’d say early forties

When you are too old to get pregnant naturally. If you can still get pregnant and only have an 18 month old then go for it.

Well I think you should decide for yourself and not worry about what other people think.

Like others I believe that biology dictates when you're too old. There's absolutely no harm in trying if you both want another - but you need to be realistic. You're unlikely to conceive at 45 and if you do, you're likely to have a miscarriage (over a 50% chance). Sorry if that sounds blunt but I always like to go into things with my eyes open.

I always wanted a BIG family... so my kids could sll look after and protect each other when we aren't around. I'm a healthy 45 year old... active.. don't smoke etc.. and I'm a bloody good mum and wife... even if I do say so myself... 😆 I think I'm a little more scared of taking the leap because I'm 46 in August. My husband has been saying for months for us to have 1 more... but I've secretly been holding back. Now, I feel I'm ready... but am I ready for the frowns and judgements! 🤔

No way would I choose to have children in my 40s if I already had children.
zero judgement on anyone who does but it’s exhausting and not for me past 40.

Is it just the 18 month old you have, or do you have other older ones as well?

If it's just the 18 month old, do you mind me asking how you found having a child at 43? I can't even imagine the shock to the system of having 25 years to do what I wanted and then have to parent. Did you find it easy or was it the upheaval that I imagine?

I couldn't care less about what other people do but I had dd at 32 and would never have any more now (I'm 34 and dh is booked in for the snip).

My manager had a baby a couple of years ago and he was 64, his girlfriend is 29.
He's obviously only going to be around until his daughter 20 or so (hopefully) but it's not for anyone to judge in my opinion.
She has a massive family and he is absolutely loaded so they won't ever struggle for money.

I'm very happy that my son is approaching adulthood as I approach my fifties. I couldn't imagine still having to be parenting a teenager as I approached my 60's. I also wouldn't have wanted a 60 year old parent when I was a teenager.

I have had 10 children...I have 8 at home... the eldest at home being 13 years old. ( then 12, 10, 9, 6, 5, 3, 17 months) and 4 step children... so 14 in total. I've also had 8 miscarriages so I'm fully aware of the risks.

Age is the least of the reasons you should stop having children!

Christ how have you got time to be on MN??

What a huge drip feed. You have plenty of children already op! Focus your time, effort and money on them.

You’ll get lots of people tell you no. Generally they are the people who had the luxury of having their kids between 20-30 and are now understandably knackered (because kids are exhausting) BUT as someone who has had children over 39 I’d say I’m as tired as the equivalent younger mum of the same aged kids.

We met up with friends whose children are now graduates in jobs and they look old. Their dc were shocked when realising we were the same age. We’ve not been aged by children but obviously after 25 years with children we’ll be aged too!

You’ll know what right for your family.

You’ve already got a lovely big family who need your time and attention and you’d be realistically 47 by the time you gave birth. You don’t need more children, enjoy the ones you have, you are one lucky lady

Then in your shoes I wouldn't actively plan another OP. As much as I agree that having a large family is lovely.

The reason I say that is because of the risks of disability at your age and you have your hands full already with the other children.

And I missed this!

39 was my cut off point and thankfully I was right.