How old is too old?

[queenofmums]

Would you say there is an age limit of having children?

Then what is it?

So what is it then?

I think people are judging because they cannot imagine being able to care for that many children in the manner they deem acceptable.

You may be giving what you consider to be a high standard of care and attention, but someone else may consider "your standard" to be lacking, if you see what I mean. And I don't mean that to sound rude.

Just like perhaps you may consider people with 2 kids to be helicopter parents or be doing things that are surplus to requirements.

Neither way of thinking is necessarily right or wrong, just different ways of looking at parenting.

A child more bigger family... to add to our amazing brood and family.

So it’s to make up numbers?

So everything is great, everyone is happy, you’re the ‘best mum ever’ and don’t want to hear any negativity about number of kids or having more kids at your age. I wonder why you posted. 🤔

I think the more important question is what could these parents bring to the life of a potential eleventh child. Not much I would have thought. Love might not be spread more thinly but everything else would, especially time and individual attention. Are you extremely wealthy and live in a house large enough so each child has their own room? Somehow I doubt it. As they get older will you physically be able to offer each child extra curricular activities? There simply are not enough hours in the day to give 10 children enough attention.
Readily available contraception was welcomed with open arms by women, not so they could have sex with whoever they wanted, but so they didn't have to keep breeding and having 10 or 11 children like earlier generations did.
I actually think that if a woman has 10 children already let alone wants more, there is some sort of psychological problem, is it to make her feel wanted, or important, there must be something lacking in that woman's life that she only feels fulfilled by continually reproducing.

I agree.. totally

I think given your update that you already have 10 children (5 of them very young), I'd probably not. So many factors in your situation, but every pregnancy is a risk to the mother. I would focus on your lovely children and staying healthy for them.

I'm 40 and have a 9 year old and 9 month old. I'd love more but I want to make sure I'm giving enough time to my existing children.

Don't be stupid!

You've already got a big family.

I don't know if people comprehend what a burden it can be sometimes to be part of a "brood". When you're part of a massive family you often totally lose your own sense of self because your entire identity is tied up in them and what your role is as part of the clan. It's noisy, it's chaotic, you never have your own space.

I'm not saying I don't love my siblings, I wouldn't be without them, and there are good things about having them too but I can't honestly see that those advantages would have been any less had there been one or two of them as opposed to six.

I HAVE 8 CHILDREN @HOME.... I've had 10!

This really doesn't make the difference you seem to think it does.

Unless you have a nine bedroom house I presume most if not all of your children are sharing rooms, for example.

You literally said ‘more bigger family’ and yet you have the cheek to call me stupid! Ask for opinions and then name call for it. Brilliant!

Anyone wondering how one affords to feed ten kids? I'd love to have a large family like that, but could never afford more than two/three max. OP, do you mind us asking what you/your husband do for a living? Thanks!
Also, have more kids, large families are awesome ❤️

We both have our own businesses

What are you going to do with yourself when you are no longer fertile OP? And facing the inevitability of aging?

The same as I do now... ! Aging doesn't bother me.

I think it's an individual choice (obviously with nature thrown into the mix too). I had ds2 at 37 and that really took its toll on me. I found pregnancy so much harder then than I did at 29, though I felt rough most of the 9 months which didn't help. If you want to try again, go for it, especially as you already have a little one now anyway.

There will always be people who will judge you. You can't make decisions based on that though. You just have to develop a thick enough skin to not care what they think. I was just 19 when I had my first baby and got my fair share of judgement from others! Most of the women at my antenatal group were in their 30s and only one or two were friendly to me. At the end of the day, their opinions don't matter at all. Do what feels right for your family 💐

I think your body will tell you when you are done. It’s biological and differs for each person.

Personally my cut off (for me) is 35. That’s only because I had mine young and I don’t want to spend the other half of my life running often younger ones - and I spend my 20s parenting/30s parenting. I also don’t love pregnancy and childbirth - so would rather avoid going through it again if I can.

You don't seem to get it. You might be the best mum ever. You might have more than enough money to take lavish foreign holidays twice a year, send all ten to private school, and give a whackload of cash to charity...

It's massively selfish to have ten children given the climate crisis, which is rendering large parts of our world uninhabitable. What can we do to prevent complete disaster? Most of the things are negative. Not flying, not driving, not using loads of disposable plastic. But, as I tried to explain in my previous message, these pale into insignificance besides not overpopulating. Idly imagining having another shows a complete lack of common sense and ethical concern for the other people already on this planet.

I agree every situation is different. If you feel it in your heart to have another, there might be another little soul who wants to be born into your family. We all act like we have so much control over this stuff and I don't think we decide ultimately. I had my first child at 37 and I thought I'd only have 1 due to my age but I have such a desire for a second now at 40. I'm worried about my age and being an older parent but I'd like a sibling for my little girl. I'm 6 weeks pregnant now and hoping things work out. Best of luck

According to the nhs... (theres no real age of being old) the nhs state anything over 38 is 'old' this actually went up from 36.
I only know this as one of my colleagues is 37 and my other colleague asked whether she would be a geriatric mum, and she said no, theyve changed the age to 38 now.
I think the only reason why have 'old mums' age is because theres supposed to be more problems after a certain age eg. They say that a child can end up with learning difficulties/ADHD/ADD/Autism after a certain age.

Dont quite understand how its all worked out. But i wouldnt worry too much about being 'old' ad long as you havent hit menopause which im sure you havent since you're asking the question, i wouldnt worry.

Annecdotally the children of women age 44+ with older dads (over 40) are all autistic, ADHd, GLD, hyperlexia/ ehlers dahlos etc

I do know quite a few

Personally i think the stats on birth risks for age 38/40 + with dad same age need to be updated. Just including Downs, is missing this reason why huge rise in autism/ adhd (ie older parents with weaker quality eggs/ sperm).

Needs updating