November 2024 Babies - thread 3

[waryandbored]

Hi everyone and welcome to thread 3.
Please ask if you’d like the link to the private Facebook group. It expires after a couple of days so I won’t add it to this post.
If you’re new to the thread, we are a friendly and supportive bunch all in it together and hoping to welcome our new additions in November 2024!

I’ve just had my D&C scheduled for Wednesday. I’ve not even been for my second scan yet and they’ve just gone ahead and scheduled it?!

I need to get the scan on Wednesday morning and then I’m on the Wednesday afternoon list for the D&C. I’m guessing maybe that’s protocol and then if anything has changed on my scan then they’ll take me off the D&C list?

It all feels so incredibly definitive and has really brought my mood down even more.

So sorry to bring the tone down here 😔

@purplecolouroffunk I'm so sorry- that's awful! I don't think that is normal protocol as it seems most people get confirmation before being asked to make decisions on next steps.

@piechipsgravy that’s what I’d thought. When she called she asked me how I was, I said okay as I could be, no bleeding. And she immediately asked if I’d decided what I’d like to do, and went into telling me about the day surgery unit, don’t eat after 7am etc.

I don’t understand how it can get to that point before I’ve had the second scan. I mean I guess if the scan isn’t good then it’s good I’ve been booked in, but it’s made me feel awful.

@purplecolouroffunk I agree that it sounds like they're not handling it particularly sensitively. It's likely they've booked you in before you've had the second scan just in case, as you'll be there anyway so for the sake of scheduling it's easier, and you do need to be aware of all the rules beforehand. If they went too cautiously there's a risk you might not be fully prepared? How many weeks are you? Maybe there's something about your risk level if it is a loss that we just don't know about.

But, I am keeping everything crossed that your scan is positive and you don't need it. I really hope it goes well for you 🍀

An addition to the chat about slapped cheek - I had this as a child randomly at about 5yo and was off school until I recovered but nobody else in my class (let alone my teacher) caught it off me. No one else had it, so no idea how I picked it up tbh. Maybe my older brother who was at another school? But anyway. Maybe it doesn't spread too rapidly

@purplecolouroffunk Im sorry that must have come as a shock. I think they are probably trying to book it in ‘just in case’. If it is bad news at the scan, and you have decided on surgical management, then you might be relieved to move things quickly. On the other hand if you haven’t even explored options yet it does seem a bit premature so you would be totally reasonable to say actually no - I want x, y and z instead. You have options and it isn’t just surgical management. I chose this option as it felt like the kindest for me in the circumstances, but others prefer other ways forward. I hope that things go better than expected at the scan on Wednesday xx

I think my 2yo might have slapped cheek…

@purplecolouroffunk I am really sorry to hear about your latest experience. It seems very insensitive and I’m shocked to be honest. They’re dashing any glimmer of hope you had 😔 wishing you all the best for this coming week & sending strength to help you along the way xx

Hi please can I have the link to the Facebook group?x

Yeah, I can see why they offer the options first so I know about them, which they did after the first scan. But then asking me to make a decision on which option I want to go for before the second scan seems so premature.

And yeah I can see why it’s good to have the op scheduled so that it can happen quickly if it’s bad news. Just the delivery came as a bit of a shock.

I should be 7 weeks now. When I went for the scan I should have been 6 weeks but they said I more like 5 cause there wasn’t an embryo.

Yeah I think this must be the reasoning, cause you’re right, if it’s bad news I’d want to have the procedure quite quickly. Although I’d probably rather have the scan, be told bad news, and then come back the next day or something. Everything in one day is a lot.

Immediately after my first scan they sat us down and presented me with all the options, so I had the option of the medical route too and decided surgical. I was just so shocked when the first thing the nurse said on the phone today was ‘have you decided what you want to do?’. Not even ‘if things haven’t changed in your scan, have you decided what you’d like to do?’.

I'm sorry to hear you’ve been through this too. How did you find the procedure?

That’s exactly it. At the last scan they even said themselves that they couldn’t be 100% sure, which is the whole reason I need to go back. I was shocked as didn’t think I’d be asked to make a decision until after I’d had bad news at the next scan.

The whole thing is making me feel like I’m going insane. Luckily my partner is incredibly supportive.

@Lilac24 - try this: fb.me/g/p_xM1iqAaMFJkASFmD/wcBwP6eb

@purplecolouroffunk - I'm sorry they've mishandled your treatment. Wishing you all the best xxx

I had my NIPT test yesterday, I'm going to be refreshing my emails constantly over these next few days. I hope everyone is doing well at the moment.

@purplecolouroffunk I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a difficult time. I often wonder if the EPU can become a bit desensitised from it all. My mum is a midwife and when I had bleeding from my hematoma (we didn't know where the bleeding was coming from) her response was blunt to say the least.

@Mumtobeno2 I totally get the mood changes, I feel like something switches in me and I rage over the silliest things then I go back to normal lol

I'm so sorry @purplecolouroffunk they've definitely not handled this well and should of waited to discuss options once they actually knew the outcome of the second scan. Please don't feel rushed into anything and do what's right for you. Thinking of you and praying there's some hope tomorrow 🙏 x

Hi ladies, can I ask for some advice? I’ve only told 2 friends about pregnancy, I felt like I had to because we were on a hen do type situation and it would be obvious I wasn’t drinking etc. But I sort of regret it.

They are both mums already and are bombarding me a bit with unsolicited advice, I know it’s coming from a good place but I’m finding it tough. They will usually just ask me how I am, and when I respond I’ll get “you think its bad now, wait until XYZ” and they’ll send me photo/video updates of their babies being difficult etc and saying “you’ve got all this to look forward to”

Is it okay that this is grating on me or am I being unreasonable!? Lol! At the moment I’m just not replying to those sorts of messages at all, so it probably looks like I’m ignoring them. I feel bad because I know it’s coming from a good place and neither of them have mum friends to share things with so they just seem to be bombarding me now instead.

Anyone else? Any advice?

@Daisychain27 do they know each other? Honestly if that were me I'd have bitten back with something like "Wow! Thanks for the understanding! Makes me so glad I shared my feelings with you" but it really depends on the friends and how open you can be with each other. Hopefully someone more tactful than I am can share a more subtle approach soon...

They know of each other, but don’t know each other well at all, so these are separate messages I’m getting from them both as opposed to being in a WhatsApp group of 3 or anything! That would probably be worse as they’d snowball off each other!

Actually I don’t think that’s a bad shout at all, I could approach it in a jokey/sarcy way with them like you said and see if they get the message…

Be keen to hear from others too, I suspect this might happen to a lot of us as our pregnancies progress and people find out we are pregnant!

i would def say now otherwise you'll have more months of it! 😄i have told 2 friends and both sets of grandparents know but that is it! and funny that the 1 friend i have told is due Nov too! she is 2 weeks ahead of me 😍

I’m freaking out a bit as I’m 9 weeks today and both yesterday and today I’ve not really had any symptoms. My nausea and fatigue are much much less. Does anyone else’s symptoms still come and go? I know I was reassuring someone about similar days ago but can’t help but worry now, that way out today!

Just had my booking appointment. All was fine but she looked back on my notes and said the consultant who did my first scan is very experienced and senior so unlikely to have got it wrong re: future issues and I should ask for a fertility referral after this baby is born- so that wasn't great. I also went really really sick and lightheaded after my bloods because it went everywhere and am now sat in the car eating crisps because I'm too woozy to drive home yet!

May have Been me @Sparksi ! I haven't been sick, just a bit of nausea here and there. Had my first scan today and I'm measuring 3 days ahead of what I thought so baby is growing so strong, had a really strong heartbeat! Feel really relieved now, I'm sure your baby will be the same! Do you have any early scan booked?

Mine totally disappeared on the weekend (on 8+1) and to be honest they’ve only really very mildly returned since, if at all! I am very spooked by it, I don’t feel pregnant anymore a lot of the time, but I’m trying to remain calm and stay positive 😬

My symptoms definitely still fluctuate at 9+4 and I wouldn't take it as anything concerning. I figure low symptoms days are baby's rest days and on high symptoms days they're growing an ear or a kneecap or something at full throttle 🤷

@Meatballsandpasta - growing a kneecap at full throttle has really got me giggling for some reason 🤣🤣🤣

Hi, is there a link to the Facebook group? I am 10w5d and would love some others at a similar stage to talk to!

Lots of things going through my mind - found out I’ve got rhesus negative blood type, might be high risk due to previous abnormal cells, traces of blood in my urine sample, measuring a few days behind on my 8w scan… is it meant to be this stressful?! 😅