Grad thread: TTC after loss carry on

[Wise0wl]

Hello all,

I just thought I'd set up a grad thread from our TTC threads, now there are quite a few people with their bfps so that we can keep in touch, and there's a forum for those on their TTC journey to check in with us!

I've sifted through the previous threads so think this is a reasonably full list:

*@SnookyPook
*@wyto
*@Aaliyahrae
*@SunSparkle
*@graceinc22
*@Gem0302
*@Bali200
*@Oxalis00
*@GeorgeR28
*@CluelessInLondon
*@HerbaceousPerennial
*@NphysT
*@GoldDustWoman90

I'd love to hear where you all are in your journey. I am approx 4 +2 (so very early!), after two MMCs. Feeling remarkably relaxed as, although I like a plan, I've resigned myself to the fact that there's little I can do to alter the fate of this pregnancy so until later down the line, I just sort of have to roll with it.

@CluelessInLondon yes I completely get that - I was the same hence only just getting on it at 25wks! But if I'd been earlier I might have secured more days etc. However, as you say, it just all felt a bit too precarious. I'm still feeling a bit up in the air about it all and am dragging my feet on 'big buys' too... But slowly daring to believe it more that there is a baby arriving in the next few months!

@Wise0wl Yep I completely get that and would have been just the same if a bit earlier on. As mentioned above, it's only now, several weeks after 20wk scan that it's actually feeling more real. My DS will be starting Sept 25 so one finishing nursery as the other starts!!

@SnookyPook I’m the same timeline as you with my DS. Can I ask whereabouts in the country you are as demand must be so high!

@Wise0wl of course! We're North Derbyshire. X

Shamelessly place marking 🥰 holiday egg must have done the trick!

I'm ridiculously early so not getting ahead of myself after a 10 and 12 week MMC but good to be back with you ladies!!

Yay @ThelastRolo20 - cautious congratulations and so pleased to see you here. ❤️ I hope this relaxed holiday bean is the one for you. 🌈

@ThelastRolo20 yes! great news!! must have been so hard for you to have the 3 month break but looks like everything is working out perfectly. everything crossed x

Wonderful news@ThelastRolo20, lovely to see you over here. I really hope this is it for you 🌈 x

@ThelastRolo20 aw congratulations lovely! Hope this little relaxed holiday egg is the one 🥰🌈🙏🏼

Thank you everyone, the anxiety is very real. Can't bring myself to believe this one could possibly work out yet.

One step at a time though, and there's nothing I can really do to change the outcome anyway 😅

@ThelastRolo20 How far along are you? Any symptoms yet?

Coming up to 4 weeks so ridiculously early 😂 I'm 10DPO today.

No symptoms really apart from mild cramping and just feeling a bit bloated.

I'm just going to sit tight for a couple of weeks and hopefully EPU will scan me early 🤞🏻

@ThelastRolo20 that's amazing news 🩷 I'm keeping everything crossed that this is your sticky baby.

I had (another) early scan last night. The wee toot is now measuring 9 weeks, so still slightly ahead, and has a good heartbeat. They were wriggling away and we could see their wee limb buds. I had fully prepared myself for it to be bad news - I'd even pre prepared messages for my family and my friends - but they're doing really well.

Hope you're all getting on okay 🩷

@Bugdem123 That's lovely news! Isn't it amazing when you can see the little blob starting to look like an actual baby? I never made it to that point in my last pregnancy so the 9 week scan in this one felt like such a huge milestone.

I've got my 20 week scan on Saturday - it's weird to think that I'm halfway through now, but I'm definitely having that pre-scan mix of anticipation at getting to see the baby again and complete terror at the prospect of being told something is wrong. I definitely don't understand those people who feel excited before having a scan! I think I have possibly been starting to feel some movement over the last few days, but it's so difficult to tell when you don't really know what you're looking for - could just as easily be food digesting as a baby bouncing around in there. 😅

How is everyone else doing?

That's lovely news 🥰

I think I was around this point in my first pregnancy when I first started feeling movement!

I think it's the difference between pregnancy pre and post loss. With my first I was excited for every scan, never occured to me it wouldn't go well! I'm the opposite end of the scale now 😅

I’m so pleased for you @Bugdem123, I remember having private scans at 7 and 10 weeks and sobbing from relief when they said ‘there’s the heartbeat’ as I’d built it up that it was going to be bad news. Did you say you were going on holiday soon? If so then enjoy x

@CluelessInLondon I first started feeling movements around this time too, I could only feel it when I was lay down and concentrating at first, so I used to try and lie down as much as possible 😂 now I’m getting booted left right and centre at the moment x

31 weeks here now, just had my midwife appt and she’s measuring 50th centile and has gone into a head down position so everything is looking good although I’m getting increasingly uncomfortable. Going to pack my hospital bag this weekend, can’t believe how quick it’s going now, hope everyone else is doing well 🩷 x

Aw lovely news! And so very glad you didn't have to use your preprepared messages!!! 💗

Hope it goes well lovely! I worked myself up into a bit of a state ahead of mine and my community midwife kindly listened in with the Doppler the day before so I at least knew there was a heartbeat going in to it!! 🙃 Pregnancy after loss is no joke! You're doing great and I'm sure little one will be just fine 💗

@Bali200 31 weeks already, where has the time gone?! Sounds like everything is on track for you, which is great news - she'll be here before you know it!
I keep trying to concentrate on whether I can feel any movement but then I start thinking I might be imagining it - I've only had a couple of moments where I've thought "yeah, that's more likely to be baby than anything else", but when I start concentrating on it I can't tell if it's all in my head!

Thank you @SnookyPook - hopefully I'll be able to report back at the weekend with a positive update. How are things going for you at the moment?

@CluelessInLondon pretty good thanks. I've had a couple of wobbles of 'is he moving enough?!' but mostly able to calm myself by sitting with a drink and just taking a few mins to focus on it. Not had to go in yet so that's something! Got our next growth scan a week tomorrow which will be just a few days shy of third trimester! So just hoping he's looking good in there 🙏🏼 It's definitely feeling so much more real now and I'm allowing myself to daydream about him being here etc which is simultaneously wonderful and terrifying 😂

@CluelessInLondon thank you! Yes, we couldn't believe the difference - you could make out their head, arms/legs etc and they were wriggling about. We had only ever seen the blob before and like you didn't make it this far last time so it felt really special. My husband's face just lit up, it was really nice to see. I can't believe you're 20 weeks already! I know it won't feel like it for you but that feels like it's flown it. I'll keep everything crossed that everything is okay tomorrow and you can just enjoy seeing them again but I agree, I don't think a scan is ever going to be something I go into without dread now.

@ThelastRolo20 thank you 🩷 how are you feeling?

@Bali200 I also sobbed. Thank you, yes we're away tomorrow. I don't think I've ever been so unprepared as I was convinced we wouldn't get to go 😅. I can't believe you're 31 weeks! Again, I'm sure it doesn't feel like it for you, but it only feels like a couple of weeks ago you found out. Have you got all the bits in for your bag?

@SnookyPook thank you 🩷 that's good you haven't had to go in for checks, it sounds like you're doing really at managing the anxiety of "is he moving enough". I'll keep everything crossed the growth scan goes well next week

Had my scan this morning - everything looked good, baby was wriggling and bouncing around all over the place. 🥰 At one point it started sucking its thumb, which was so adorable I actually started crying. 😂 Only slight concern is that I've currently got a low-lying placenta, so they'll bring me back for another scan at 34 weeks to see how that's looking. Started to freak myself out at the idea of having to have a C-section as I would really prefer not to, then decided I should probably not worry about it for now and cross that bridge when I come to it!

@CluelessInLondon aw that's great and so lovely little one was being extra cute for you 🥰 I'm sure I've heard of low lying placentas at this stage moving round to a better position so fingers crossed for you! I've been told if my little man stays small/shows further growth restriction etc that may mean early induction or a C-section (apparently labour can be too stressful for some tiny babies) so I know what you mean as I'd rather avoid either of those. But as you say, it's a worry for another day! Also, whatever is needed to get baby safely here will be just fine on the day I'm sure! Just another hurdle to jump and in the grand scheme, a small price to pay!

@SnookyPook Definitely - priority for me either way will be making sure baby comes out in whatever way is safest for us both, if that has to be a C-section it's not the end of the world. I read up a little bit more on low-lying placenta last night and it said that in 95% of cases it moves up by itself so hopefully I will be in the 95%. And I'm trying to see the positive of getting another scan, I probably wouldn't have one otherwise so at least I get to see baby again before the due date!

Belated congratulations @ThelastRolo20!

I took some time out from MN and social media for a bit because it was fuelling my anxiety a bit. But really pleased to let you all know that I had another scan at EPU this morning with a wriggly little baby measuring 11 weeks as it should be 💕

How is everyone?