Grad thread: TTC after loss carry on

[Wise0wl]

Hello all,

I just thought I'd set up a grad thread from our TTC threads, now there are quite a few people with their bfps so that we can keep in touch, and there's a forum for those on their TTC journey to check in with us!

I've sifted through the previous threads so think this is a reasonably full list:

*@SnookyPook
*@wyto
*@Aaliyahrae
*@SunSparkle
*@graceinc22
*@Gem0302
*@Bali200
*@Oxalis00
*@GeorgeR28
*@CluelessInLondon
*@HerbaceousPerennial
*@NphysT
*@GoldDustWoman90

I'd love to hear where you all are in your journey. I am approx 4 +2 (so very early!), after two MMCs. Feeling remarkably relaxed as, although I like a plan, I've resigned myself to the fact that there's little I can do to alter the fate of this pregnancy so until later down the line, I just sort of have to roll with it.

Ah thank you, that makes sense. All I've been told so far about the brain is that both hemispheres have formed. Did you have the normal screening and NIPT this time? I can't have the NIPT as I had a vanishing twin at the beginning of this pregnancy so apparently the test isn't accurate in that instance. I'm feeling pretty anxious now about the screening next week! X

Brilliant news @samilicious, I’m so pleased for you! And likewise @HopefulH wonderful news your scan went well too. I hope you’re both taking a moment to celebrate this evening x

Hi everyone, hope you don’t mind me joining here! So lovely to read about all your pregnancies and bfps 🤍

I had a mmc earlier this year and am now pregnant again. I have an early scan at the EPU tomorrow where I’ll be about 6+6. So nervous on so many levels but also know there’s nothing we can do so just pleased it’s come around already!

Trying to not think about it this evening which as you can see I’m failing at but writing on here and seeing so many positive stories has helped!

Hope you’re all doing ok x

@samilicious ah that’s great news, I’m so glad all looked well and they had a lovely walnut shaped brain 🥳 Definitely enjoy this pregnancy as much as you possibly can. I loved being pregnant with my son - and actually the other two as well for bits - and I really want that for this one too. I know some of my friends think I’m mad when I say I like being pregnant though

@Bellebg welcome, I’m sorry about your MMC and wishing you all the best for your scan tomorrow. I find this thread a really lovely one!

Thank you so much @HerbaceousPerennial. It seems so lovely. Looking forward to following everyone’s journeys x

@Bellebg Welcome - I'm sorry to hear about your MMC, but how wonderful that you are here with a new BFP. 🌈 It's completely understandable that you are struggling to distract yourself from your scan - when I had early scans in this pregnancy they were all I could think about in the few days beforehand, in the end I just had to lean into it and accept that it was all-consuming until I'd seen that baby was okay. I really hope it goes well tomorrow, let us know. ❤️

Thank you so much @CluelessInLondon. Really appreciate it 🤍 You’re right, just have to accept the feeling don’t you! Thank you, I will let you all know tomorrow 🤞🏼

As lots of you have done this before, does anybody have any good tips for things to include in the hospital bag? (Or things that I'm really not likely to need but the lists online say I should have!)

I've been making a list of things for me and things for baby and checking against various lists of suggestions online, but I know loads of people say that you can end up with loads of rubbish in your hospital bag that you end up not needing - so any advice is gratefully received!

This! 😊💗

So glad to hear of all these pregnancies progressing healthily! X

Definitely don’t pack toffees. I thought this would be a great idea ‘for energy’ but they made me feel sick and I nearly choked on one mid contraction, the midwife sensibly took them away and brought me some toast instead. Other than that honestly mostly it was stuff for afterwards which was useful. I had a comforting book which I read when I realised I was actually on my own with a live baby and freaked out, that helped a lot. If you’re planning to breastfeed I would recommend very large pyjamas with buttons you can open right up and a vest top you can pull right down for underneath, then you can easily get your boobs right out without feeling completely naked. DH did bring a mini speaker which he connected to his phone so I could have some music in the labour room, that was quite good. A water bottle with a straw, good for during and after, I had it in the bed with me. And properly big comfy knickers to hold your maternity pad in comfortably.

@HerbaceousPerennial Thanks for the tips, I feel reassured that there's quite a bit there that I had already thought about! I haven't worked out what snacks to take with me yet so I will avoid anything very hard - hadn't even thought about the risk of choking. 😬 My husband has some of those energy gel things that he uses when he's cycling so we were thinking some of those might be useful. I've got some maternity PJs that double up as nursing PJs already, and I have a mix of maternity and postpartum knickers so was just going to pack a bunch of each and wear whatever feels comfiest afterwards. I was thinking about maybe getting some of the Tena pants as well for overnight - read a few posts on MN where people found them useful for not having to get up and keep changing maternity pads so was thinking about those for night time and then normal maternity pads for during the day.

I read one list, I think it was the one on the NHS website, which suggested I need to take 3 changes of clothes for myself - I genuinely can't work out what for! I'm kind of assuming I'm not going to be worrying about changing my clothes much during labour, and if things go well I'm hoping to only be in hospital for one night so I can't work out what I would need all these clothes for - I'm giving birth, not performing at a pop concert!

@CluelessInLondon a really long phone charging cable, helpful for plugging your phone in when you’re feeding and the plugs generally aren’t that close to the bed. Snacks for DH, and get DH to pack the bag so he knows where everything is! Nothing more annoying than being asked where things are in labour…

so exciting you’re at this stage!

@CluelessInLondon your pop concert comment made me laugh! Yeah I just had one set of clean clothes for going home in, and my pyjamas, I’ve no idea what you might need 3 for. Maybe if you’re induced. I had a friend who was in for a week and her husband just brought her and baby fresh stuff when she needed it. Echo @Wise0wl with the long charger and the food, I was in labour over 24 hours and DH didn’t want to leave me so he was starving.

@HerbaceousPerennial @Wise0wl I have told my husband that he will need his own hospital bag too, with some snacks and maybe a change of t-shirt! Good shout on getting him to pack the bag as well, he's better at packing than I am anyway. 😅We only live 10-15 minutes' drive from the hospital so it's easy enough for him to pick up extra stuff if I need it - I'm going to leave a few extra clothes for me and baby folded and ready to go in case we end up being in longer than expected.

@CluelessInLondon you've had some great tips already. Long charging cable and decent water bottle with straw definitely good! Re clothes, maybe just have a couple of additional outfits somewhere easy for OH to grab at home in case you're kept in but no need to pack loads. I ended in for a week and we coped fine. Some people rave about hand-held fans or a clip on pram one you can attach to bed - I never got one and my hospital was great at keeping rooms nice but have heard of others that people were really grateful they had their own fans. I treated myself to a luxury mini shampoo/conditioner for the post-birth shower and that was lovely. Again, you read on here about taking own paracetamol or peppermint capsules etc (for C-section) but I had none of those and hospital provided everything I needed. They even provided a cooling solution for pads (I'd bought 'Spritz for Bits' which was great when I got home but not needed for hosp). For my extended stay it was great to have a tablet with some downloaded episodes/films so wasn't relying on patchy hospital internet. Can't think of anything else obvious. The packing lists online are usually pretty good.

For anyone who was following, I had my early scan today and saw a heartbeat and measuring 7+1 🥹 We knew from about 6 ish weeks that something wasn’t right when I had a mmc so feeling super lucky to be here.

Nervous as feel like we have even more to lose this time but so happy that we have got this far!! Hopefully this gives some hope to anyone else ttc after loss x

@HerbaceousPerennial @CluelessInLondon

@Bellebg That's fantastic news, I'm so pleased to hear it. ❤️ Will you have any more scans or wait for your dating scan?

@Bellebg that is good news. How are you feeling?

@SnookyPook yeah my hospital was very good and had backups for most things, plus a copious supply of tea! @CluelessInLondon Although my birth didn’t go to plan AT ALL I was really well looked after, the staff were great and plenty of drugs too both during and after when needed them, just thought it was worth mentioning as I worried about that beforehand.

Well I’ve just booked in with the midwife, it’s always a bit terrifying but thought I’d better get it done as it’s much trickier with the EPU if I’m not registered and I’m working from home today. Should be the same midwife as my last three pregnancies as well which is so much better as I won’t have to explain anything if I get to the booking in appointment, she knows my history. Hope everyone is doing ok today

@HerbaceousPerennial That's good that you're booked in and really positive if you get continuity of care and someone who knows your history.

I've just had my 36 week appointment - another different midwife (I think I've now met 7 different midwives, plus a student!), but it was actually a really reassuring appointment. My OGTT came back completely normal so I don't have gestational diabetes (yay!), and she said that because it's baby's tummy rather than its head that is measuring big, the discussion with the consultant next week is more likely to be about how overdue they would let me go rather than anything about inducing early. So I also feel a lot less anxious about that conversation now too. Baby's head is 3/5 engaged so little one is in exactly the right place, and it gives me a lot more confidence that my body and baby are doing exactly what they should be doing - it's a nice boost after feeling really anxious last week.

Hope everyone is doing well today and has some nice plans for this weekend. ❤

@CluelessInLondon that’s great news! Glad everything seems to be looking good and baby is 3/5, I can’t believe you’re nearly there. I remember your update when you got your BFP so vividly.

@CluelessInLondon I’m so glad your appointment was reassuring, and excellent on the OGTT. Sounds like you don’t need to amend your birth plan after all! X

@Bellebg that's brilliant news about your scan, such a releif isn't it!

@CluelessInLondon this is so exciting hearing you talk about all the last minute plans! I'm one of those who was SO happy to have a fan in hospital, it was disgustingly hot in there. That's great you don't have GD and hopefully birth plans won't change.

@samilicious really pleased you had a positive scan!

@HerbaceousPerennial I was really scared organising my booking appointment and first scan, my heart was racing! That's good it will be the same midwife. Ours change on rotation every 3 months so you don't even see the same one through each pregnancy!

I am 9 weeks on Sunday. Had awful nausea but not been so bad today so of course it's worrying me. But last time that happened it came back full force. Got a scan next Friday when I should be 9+5 and had a scan at 7+2 and saw a little heartbeat, so all good so far. Feeling hopefully positive at the moment but I know I won't relax until after 20 week scan.

@HerbaceousPerennial well done for booking in - it always feels a bit daunting doesn't it and makes it more real. Glad you've got someone who knows your history and understands where you're coming from.

@CluelessInLondon that's great news and such a positive appointment! Gosh you're so close now! Sammy was born at 37wks and wasn't the earliest in my due date group so you're definitely in the territory of baby coming soon!!

@Bellebg so glad you had a positive scan 🥰

@UrsulaSings123 these early days are a mental slog to get through but day by day things are progressing and hopefully second trimester and beyond will be here before you know it. 💕

For anyone interested in baby updates, Samuel is doing well. Tracking the 0.4th centile so still diddy! But gaining weight nicely now. He was 6lbs14oz at last weigh in on Weds (at 5wks 2days). The largest baby in our due date group was born at 11lbs at 39wks so bit of a difference 😂 it amazes me how much variety there is! He's starting to get a bit more alert and interactive now which is cute. 🥰

@UrsulaSings123 Good luck for your scan this week. ❤

@SnookyPook Thanks for sharing your update on Samuel, it's so lovely to hear how these rainbow babies are getting on, and great to hear that he's getting bigger. When are you seeing the cardiologist?

Bit of an eventful time for me since my last post - I was away for the weekend, went out for a walk in the countryside on Saturday and fell on some uneven ground, so ended up spending the afternoon in maternity triage at a random hospital that I'm not booked at. Fortunately baby is fine, it was squirming around once I got back to the car and sat down and the heartbeat was fine when they checked it in triage - my leg and hands took the brunt of the impact so it wasn't a big fall onto my bump, but I was in a real panic after it happened. Had to go back yesterday morning for anti D as a precaution and think all is okay now apart from some scrapes and scratches that need to heal up, but I felt like the absolute worst mum in the world at the time - all I could think was that it's my job to keep the baby safe and I felt like I had failed.