Grad thread: TTC after loss carry on

[Wise0wl]

Hello all,

I just thought I'd set up a grad thread from our TTC threads, now there are quite a few people with their bfps so that we can keep in touch, and there's a forum for those on their TTC journey to check in with us!

I've sifted through the previous threads so think this is a reasonably full list:

*@SnookyPook
*@wyto
*@Aaliyahrae
*@SunSparkle
*@graceinc22
*@Gem0302
*@Bali200
*@Oxalis00
*@GeorgeR28
*@CluelessInLondon
*@HerbaceousPerennial
*@NphysT
*@GoldDustWoman90

I'd love to hear where you all are in your journey. I am approx 4 +2 (so very early!), after two MMCs. Feeling remarkably relaxed as, although I like a plan, I've resigned myself to the fact that there's little I can do to alter the fate of this pregnancy so until later down the line, I just sort of have to roll with it.

Congratulations @SnookyPook!!! I am so thrilled he’s here safely ❤️

And super news that you’re healing well @Bali200, I hope that continues 🤞

It feels like such a marathon and it’s so motivating that these wonderful little rainbow babies have started to be born!

@samilicious it’s such a positive sign that your scan went well with a good heartbeat. I know there’s so much to worry but I found the only way to not find things overwhelming was to focus on the next milestone. When’s your next appointment/scan?

@CluelessInLondon I’m sorry you’re having all the feelings but it’s totally understandable. I’ve had carpal tunnel before and I have it again, ask your midwife if they’d recommend wrist splints for sleeping. I personally found it helpful for DH to gently massage my forearms and hands, and not to lie on my forearms when I went to sleep. I hope you can get some rest as sleep makes everything better! X

@Bugdem123 so lovely to see your name, how are you keeping? I’m doing ok thank you, 21 weeks and my bump has popped and I can definitely feel more movements (though nothing regular yet), which has helped reassure that she’s still in there and doing ok 🤞

@Bugdem123 Lovely to hear from you - can't believe you are nearly 20 weeks now! Good luck for your scan today, I really hope it all goes well and you get reassurance from it. I definitely found that getting through the anomaly scan allowed me to start thinking more in terms of "when" the baby comes, not "if" the baby comes, so I really hope it does the same for you.
I'm finishing on 20th September for mat leave so have just under 2 months to go - people keep telling me they're surprised I'm not going sooner, but I only get 8 weeks maternity leave at full pay so I don't really want to waste it sitting around the house for a month waiting for baby to show up!

@Wise0wl I'm going to ask the midwife about carpal tunnel at my next appointment, which unfortunately isn't until the middle of next week! In the meantime I've found some exercises online that I can do, which seem to be helping, and I've been wrapping cold flannels around my hands and wrists to reduce swelling. Sleeping is probably the most difficult bit - it's quite hard to sleep on my side and avoid squashing my arms at the same time! I'm trying to prop my arms up on an extra pillow, which worked quite well last night and I slept pretty well, but the night before was a disaster and I woke up exhausted because I kept getting pins and needles in my hands! Don't think it helps that the weather has been really warm the last few days as well, so I am definitely hoping we don't have any heatwaves in August or September... Thanks for the tip re: massaging, I've been doing a bit of that myself but think it's time to get my husband to help!

Hi all,

Hope it's okay for me to butt in but I am so delighted and teary and I just have to tell someone!

On April 23rd 2024 my baby girl, Eleanor, was stillborn at 39 weeks. Today, I got a faint positive test. I'm (just under) four weeks pregnant!

It wasn't particularly on purpose as I surmise I must have ovulated really early this cycle so it's a bit of a surprise, but we haven't been preventing so it's not THAT much of a shock.

Eleanor was my first so I'm really hoping this sticks and I get my second chance.

@XenaTheWarriorPrincess I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter, but how wonderful to be able to look forward to your rainbow baby - many many congratulations. ❤🌈

@Wise0wl so frustrating no one can tell you why. I hope you're not spotting forever! Must be such a headf#%k. So glad your 20w scan didn't flag anything - but the pink spotting after must have been tough. It always baffles me how rough they are when we're so careful for so long. Next one is a week on Saturday so not long to wait 🤞🏻

@SnookyPook congratulations on the arrival of your beautifully named little boy! Lovely to be in the second centile and to have had a good birth experience ♥️ hopefully will stand you in good stead for some lovely bonding time for your whole family, and bonding and recovery time for you 🥰

@XenaTheWarriorPrincess wow what a journey you've been on - can't imagine how you must be feeling right now ♥️ everything crossed for you over the next few weeks

Thank you all for being kind when I had my silly meltdown yesterday 😂 it's amazing when we get triggered how low a place we can get to so quickly, with no logical reason for doing so.

@ThelastRolo20 that massively helps with the range thing - thank you. But oh noo! Sorry it still feels like that at 15 weeks. I'm hoping it will relax more over time if not fully go away. I really relaxed with my daughter when it got past the being born early and being ok phase so hopefully that will be the case this time too

@CluelessInLondon oh that carpal tunnel does not sound fun at all! The tiredness is no joke. If anyone says "well it's preparing you blah blah" you are fully entitled to tell them to shove it. I remember you talking about your in-laws before. Hope they've gone now and you're having some peace at home if not much rest. Good cry sounds like a good cathartic reset for the immune system. I'm adopting that mantra here on out - I'm pregnant today, that's all I know. Next scan is a private one a week on Saturday, but with a decent clinic so good to have that to come

@Bugdem123 trying not to lose my marbles in these weird early weeks! How are you? Lovely to see your name. Hope you feel some movements soon. Exciting to be almost 20w!

Hello ladies. I'm very tentatively stepping into this thread. I got a positive preg test today but not due on until Saturday. I've had some cramps but not bad ones, trying not to think too much about it. Not letting my head plan for anything this time. It's been 6 cycles since my MMC. Trying to manage my anxiety by saying 'today I am pregnant'.

@XenaTheWarriorPrincess I'm so sorry for your loss that sounds completely heartbreaking. Congratulations on your rainbow pregnancy and wishing you all the best.

Welcome and gentle congratulations @UrsulaSings123. Fingers crossed you have a a sticky bean

This mornings test 😬 feeling anxiously hopeful

@UrsulaSings123 oh congratulations lovely ❤️ thankfully this thread fully understands pregnant after loss which I've found so helpful.

@XenaTheWarriorPrincess so sorry about your loss 💔 how are you feeling/ doing? X

@UrsulaSings123 Lovely to see you over here, it makes me so happy when people can gravitate over from the TTC thread with good news. Cautious congratulations, and everything crossed that this is a sticky one for you. ❤

@ThelastRolo20 unfortunately the test this morning was barely visible, way lighter, so it's not viable.

We'll hopefully start actively trying in a couple months, I need to lose some more weight first ideally!

So sorry to hear this, life is utter crap sometimes ❤️ x

@XenaTheWarriorPrincess maybe the hcg was a bit more dilute this morning or didn't 'stick' to the test as much as yesterday.

I've been mad googling about chemical pregnancies and I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now, almost like it's a given that will happen. I don't feel any symptoms whatsoever, not even sore boobs. I'd been so good at not testing early, I really wish I hadn't this cycle now😥

I'm making a commitment to not google everything that comes into my head. It won't change any outcome and I won't be more in control. I'm also throwing my tests away. I'm not doing that to myself. My mantra is I am pregnant until I am told otherwise. Got a meditation class tonight which I'm starting today so hopefully that will help with stress levels.

@UrsulaSings123 It's so easy to go down a Google rabbit hole with everything pregnancy related, so don't beat yourself up too much. You are still super-early so it's totally normal not to have any symptoms yet. It's exactly the right attitude to remind yourself that you're pregnant now and that's how it is unless something happens to tell you otherwise.

@CluelessInLondon thank you. I'm just feeling anxious because my boobs don't feel sore like they did with my son which is my only successful pregnancy. The other ones that ended early I didn't have sore boobs or symptoms at all. I've been wishing for this for the last 6 cycles now it feels so close I'm scared it will end. I threw my pregnancy tests away yesterday now wishing I hadn't 😂can't win!

@UrsulaSings123 it's SOooo hard not to panic! This pregnancy was my least symptomatic I believe! Throughout first trimester I was convinced it wasn't progressing as I had no real symptoms and definitely not the nausea of had with my son. Despite all this, this one progressed. No rhyme or reason. Keep calm and keep plodding on. 💗

Thank you @SnookyPook that is reassuring to know you had a lack of symptoms and similar worries.

I've got through today when my period was due so just focusing on getting through this next week now.

@UrsulaSings123 That's great that you've made it past when AF was due - it's one of those little milestones early on that it's good to get to, and I found chunking the first trimester into small milestones really helped as the time was passing. Will you arrange an early scan?

We've just been and ordered our travel system so it's all gradually getting more real! Haven't actually got round to buying any clothes for baby yet - it's so difficult to know exactly what to buy and how much in different sizes when I have no idea how big the baby will be when it's born!

@CluelessInLondon thank you and yes I'm going to arrange an early scan but wait until at least 7 weeks. Last time I was 6 weeks and it was 'pregnancy of unknown viability' and I ended up having to wait 3 weeks and having 4 scans in the EPAU before a MC was confirmed. So trying to avoid that again! When I had my son I was so unsure what size to get him as they told me he would be big so I didn't bother with 'newborn' size, but when he arrived he was 7lb8 so my DP just went and got him a load of stuff from the supermarket the next day. I wouldn't worry too much about making sure you got the right size as you can always just go buy more! That's so lovely that you're doing the proper preparing now.

Hi everyone - how are we all getting on? Had a scan today and we're having a girl 🩷 so Georgie is going to have a little sister x

Hello everyone! Sorry for being a bit MIA I've been massively struggling with my mental health ngl. Had a weird inflamed bowel sticking out in my stomach and panicking about the last scan and not resting enough and making the uterus bleed thing worse/affecting the placenta. I wish I could bleed it out but it's in the wrong place so got to try and take it easy so it absorbs. Had a private scan at the good place on Thursday and made me a day ahead of my original date even with shorter cycles 😊 9w 2d now and finally starting to relax a bit. they did an internal so think it was a lot more accurate. Good heartbeat and brain looking like it should for the gestation.

Booked my booking in appt with the home birth team I had last time, so hopefully I'll have a 12w scan date after that on Monday. Booked my NIPT with the other hospital (had to switch because of the home birth thing, always the plan but done it a little earlier than I thought). Can do it earlier now the gestation has upped. Just hoping for a butterfly brain instead of a rugby ball at the scan 🤞🏻 that was the first warning sign for Trisomy 13 last time

@ThelastRolo20 such lovely news! Did you have any feelings about baby girl being a girl? How has Georgie taken the news he's getting a sister?

@CluelessInLondon can't go wrong with the Newborn size! Even Tiny Baby fit my 7lb6oz baby for the first week or two. I just got loads of white baby grows for the first few months. Just easy, comfy and they look so beautiful in them. I think I got through about 4 a day with sick/nappy leaks on average. They won't be in 0-3 for weeks at least, even if they're 10lbers. Which travel system did you go for?

@UrsulaSings123 hope you're ok and hanging in there ♥️

@XenaTheWarriorPrincess so sorry to hear your news 💔

@ThelastRolo20 that’s so lovely you’re having a little girl! How did Georgie take the news? My DS is so excited to have a little sister.

@samilicious sorry you’ve been stressed, early pregnancy after loss is so anxiety ridden isn’t it. But great news that you’ve passed 9 weeks and that so far things are looking good!

Glad things are starting to feel more real for you @CluelessInLondon and you’ve started shopping 😊

My counsellor asked me recently if - imagining I get to the end of this pregnancy and have my baby - I’ll regret not having enjoyed being pregnant more. The answer to that is definitely yes, so I’m taking small steps to embrace being pregnant (especially as we don’t plan to TTC again after this). It’s really helped! I’ve bought a blanket and a couple of sweet little outfits in the sale, and I’m starting to talk about ‘when’ baby is here rather than ‘if’. Even though it doesn’t stop the worries in the back of my mind, it helps to stop them being front and centre. I’m 23 weeks now, and time does feel like it’s starting to fly.

@Bali200 & @SnookyPook I hope you’re enjoying those newborn snuggles, you both cross my mind often ❤️

@Wise0wl thank you! Very much enjoying newborn snuggles 🥰 Still feel so incredibly lucky to be where we are! Glad you're doing well and managing to enjoy the pregnancy a bit more!

@ThelastRolo20 aw congrats on a little girl! Is Georgie excited?

@CluelessInLondon we're still in tiny baby size here at almost 2wks old although he's taking a while to get back to birth-weight after battling jaundice. I would think newborn size would fit most full term babies for at least a week or two. Worth checking actual size guides thought as some of our newborn stuff is 'up to 7lbs' and some is 'up to 9.5lbs'. It's pretty easy for someone to pop to a supermarket or do an online shop though once baby is here.

@samilicious so glad all seems well this far. Hope the next few weeks pass positively for you and provide more reassurance.

@ThelastRolo20 that's wonderful! So glad everything is going well for you!

@samilicious sorry to hear you've been struggling, both physically and mentally. That's brilliant you're past 9 weeks now and can book your NIPT soon.

@Wise0wl I was thinking the exact same thing recently and talking about this with a friend the other day. That all the anxiety takes away from what can be a lovely experience and that you're only pregnant for really, a short amount of time, so focusing on trying to enjoy it and not missing out on that part. I'm so pleased you're starting to allow yourself some excited feelings. I felt like once I got past 20 weeks with my son that's when I starred to relax a bit and buy him things and talk about "when" he is here.

@SnookyPook my son had jaundice as well, he had to have light therapy, I was so worried at the time! That's good other than that everything is going well 😄

I'm OK. I'm still only 5 weeks so very early days but starting to feel sickness more, which is horrible as I didn't really get it with my son, but strangely reassuring at the same time. My partners cousin just announced her pregnancy at 11 weeks. Very happy for them but feeling the pressure now for this pregnancy to progress as otherwise I think I'd find it really hard to see them with their baby.