Grad thread: TTC after loss carry on

[Wise0wl]

Hello all,

I just thought I'd set up a grad thread from our TTC threads, now there are quite a few people with their bfps so that we can keep in touch, and there's a forum for those on their TTC journey to check in with us!

I've sifted through the previous threads so think this is a reasonably full list:

*@SnookyPook
*@wyto
*@Aaliyahrae
*@SunSparkle
*@graceinc22
*@Gem0302
*@Bali200
*@Oxalis00
*@GeorgeR28
*@CluelessInLondon
*@HerbaceousPerennial
*@NphysT
*@GoldDustWoman90

I'd love to hear where you all are in your journey. I am approx 4 +2 (so very early!), after two MMCs. Feeling remarkably relaxed as, although I like a plan, I've resigned myself to the fact that there's little I can do to alter the fate of this pregnancy so until later down the line, I just sort of have to roll with it.

@samilicious @ThelastRolo20 great news guys! Happy to hear ☺️💕

@samilicious That's good that everything is in the right place and you've got the assurance it's not ectopic. When is your next scan?

@ThelastRolo20 Great news - and 5 days ahead, you must have a turbocharged baby! 😅Fingers crossed it doesn't take too long for the screening results to come back. Have you got any plans for telling family/friends?

@Wise0wl How are things going with the movements? I know it's different for everyone, but I felt my first flutters at just over 19 weeks and then it was probably another 4 weeks before I got to the point of feeling something every day - think baby spent a lot of time hiding behind the placenta!

Thanks @CluelessInLondon! I have an anterior placenta so although I think I can feels some flutters I’m not getting much reassurance just yet! I am so looking forward to regular movements 🤞

@CluelessInLondon I know, they were busy sucking their thumb too which was very sweet ❤️

I told family yesterday after the scan, my mum was totally shocked! 😂

Haven't decided when to tell friends. Up until now I've not allowed myself to get excited about the pregnancy, or even believe it may happen. Now I'm passed 12 weeks (and I'm somehow 13 weeks!) I'm going to just relax for a bit before I tell more x

@ThelastRolo20 Aww, how lovely - ours was sucking its thumb at the 20 week scan and it was so adorable! I hope you can relax into the pregnancy a bit now - it feels as though there's always something to worry about but it's nice to get to that point where you can feel a bit more confident about things going as they should.

Hi ladies, how is everyone doing? Hope you and all your little rainbows are doing well at the moment. ❤

I had a major wobble yesterday worrying about movements - baby was super-active for the first half of the week and then I was feeling hardly anything yesterday so I went to triage in the evening to get checked out. Ended up spending 4 hours there thanks to them mislaying my notes after my initial obs were done so they didn't call me in to see the midwife until almost 10.30pm, so I am shattered today after not getting home until nearly midnight, but everything was fine and of course as soon as they hooked me up to the CTG machine baby was having an absolute party in there. It was so surprising how much movement there was that I couldn't feel though - I think I just assumed that by this point I would feel a much greater proportion of what baby is doing in there, but clearly not!

Had my 28 week midwife appointment this morning as well and everything was looking good. We are off for a baby appointment at John Lewis this weekend so will be starting to sort out pram, car seat and all that stuff - that definitely makes it all feel real. 😱

@CluelessInLondon so sorry you’ve had such a fright! But I’m glad they saw you (and sorted out the notes issue) and you had some reassurance from the CTG.

I’m doing ok. 20 weeks this weekend, and feeling a bit nervous for my scan next week!

Evening all! @CluelessInLondon so glad all was good with monitoring - you deffo did the right thing going in. No wonder you're knackered after they kept you there so late!

Apologies I've been a bit quiet the last week or so. Long update incoming (no baby yet 😂) Our consultant mentioned possible genetic causes again as reason for little man's growth issues as everything else has been looking ok and we got in our heads a bit and decided to go for the amniocentesis in case there was anything we need to get our heads around before the birth. Last weekend I had to have 2 steroid shots in case it triggered preterm labour and then had the amnio first thing Monday morning. Not the most pleasant procedure and of course also a bit tough mentally. Followed by the wait, including results being delayed a day later than they'd said. However! Got the all clear this morning which is such a relief. I had been trying to get my head around what a different future we might be looking at if we had to come to terms with a late diagnosis. I'm glad we've done it though as hopefully means we can enjoy the birth and immediate aftermath more without having to worry about additional checks etc.

Growth scan today shows he's still doing ok although possibly bit more restriction. Not to a level of immediate concern but they want a close eye on him next week... However! I will be 36wks on Monday!! 🥳 Can't believe it! Aaand unless anything changes that requires immediate eviction, I will be in the week after to meet little man - still need to decide if I'm going for induction or section... So much overthinking from me!! But either way, they are hoping to start the process Monday 22nd (37wks exactly). Cannot actually believe how close that is. I'm excited and daunted and happy and completely unprepared 😂

So, that is my update! Mad times. So glad to see you all progressing along with these rainbows too. 🥰 Hugs to everyone. X

@SnookyPook what fantastic news the amnio came back clear 🎉 and further brilliant news that you’re 36 weeks on Monday! How exciting - he’ll be here before you know it! Have you settled on a name for him?

Not quite but we have a shortlist that I think we agree on .. probably make the final call when we meet him!! Eek! 😃

@Wise0wl 20 weeks! Not long to wait now for your scan and another look at bubba.

@SnookyPook Great update, although it must have been very daunting having to go through the amnio at such a late stage. So pleased to hear that everything was fine though - and you don't have to worry so much about him arriving early anymore either! How are you feeling? Are you doing okay or getting fed up of being pregnant now?!

Thanks @CluelessInLondon ! Yes daunting is definitely a good word! I'm doing ok but definitely feeling glad the pregnancy part is almost done. All the heightened monitoring etc is getting a bit tedious tbh! Such a different pregnancy from my first! I am feeling a bit overwhelmed at actually bringing a baby home soon and whether we're prepared but I know that will all fall into place. I'm really looking forward to meeting this little guy and getting some proper snuggles 🥰 I think I'm veering towards section for delivery which is a bit scary as I've never had surgery really for anything... But my heart is niggling over induction. I've read a LOT and asked lots of questions etc and just feel uneasy about it and I think mentally after all we've been through to get here, I feel happier with the more calculated risks of section. Unless he decides to come naturally before we get there! So that's just the final thing to sort really and then it'll be on the home straight! 🥰

@SnookyPook the only surgery I’ve ever had was my ELCS with DC1. I found the certainty of it really helpful for my mental health, and I had a smooth recovery. After this rollercoaster, I’ve already asked to opt for one for this pregnancy. Just saying, as I know first hand that actually with many types of birth (especially those with intervention) most people only talk about the bad experiences!

Thanks so much! That's really helpful! I do have people close to me who've had wonderful sections - including my Sister. However she'd also had multiple previous abdominal surgeries for Gynae stuff so feel a bit like her experience might be different. It's really helpful to hear that's the only surgery you've had and you would elect to have it again! I definitely think it's the MH angle more than anything that is swaying me that way. That and the fact that there is increased risk for interventions and possible section anyway from an induction except if it ended that way I'd be exhausted and it would be a more emergency/traumatic scenario. My first birth was natural labour and actually really positive (It was pretty quick and I didn't need any pain relief etc) but everything I've read/heard about induction suggests it's a very different ball game. Read a really helpful book and just seeing how different the process and hormones are to a natural labour have made me more wary of it. Anyway, thanks again! Appreciate your thoughts!

@SnookyPook ah you're so close now 🥰 doesn't seem that long ago you first found out you were pregnant! Well, to me it doesn't anyway 😂

I got induced last time and ended up needed a c section, it really wasn't bad at all, you're so well looked after and I was walking the dog after 3/4 days and feeling very much myself after a week or two x

@ThelastRolo20 ah thank you! Yeah haha it feels like it's gone super quick and super slow at the same time! 😂 Good to hear you found C-section recovery relatively straightforward! Thank you xx

Hi guys, hope you’re all well!

40+6 over here and feeling totally fed up, it’s felt like the longest pregnancy anyway without going overdue 😭 I had my first sweep on Thursday morning which the midwife felt really positive about, it made me lose my mucus plug but nothing else - booked in for another sweep tomorrow morning and induction failing that on Saturday, but I really really don’t want to be induced so I’m hoping she arrives of her own accord before then 🙏🏼

@SnookyPook so sorry you’ve had to go through this stress so late on but so glad that everything has come back all clear, and how exciting that he’s going to be here soon 🩵

@CluelessInLondon urgh I totally get the fear of reduced movements so I can’t imagine how much more stressful it is with an anterior placenta, glad everything is well even though your experience wasn’t great!

Great news on the scans @ThelastRolo20 @samilicious and good luck for your upcoming scan @Wise0wl - which day is it?

@ThelastRolo20 amazing to be measuring 5 days ahead 🥰 hope you have been able to relax a bit. Sounds like a solid plan about telling people

@CluelessInLondon next scan is a week on Monday at EPU, then they'll do the NIPT test. So in two weeks (by time results are back) I'll know if they have one of the big three or not again 😬 (they had one of them last time). Soo cute to have a baby appointment to help you sort bits! Reassuring to know there's lots of movement going on, you deffo did the right thing getting checked

@SnookyPook wow such a crazy few weeks for you. Always better to be informed with whatever's going on - so glad you got the all clear. Well done for getting this far keeping that lil man cooking! I haven't had a section but most of my mates have only had sections, some elected some emergency after a few days of labour. Elected section sounds like a brilliant option - I think medical professionals are funny about them sometimes because of the physical recovery, but my recovering from an episiotomy (which I was told by the lady who did it was unnecessary) felt like it took forever. Rolo talks about walking the dog - I tried to that after a week and messed up my recovery! Plus the mental benefit of having some certainty and being able to prep must have an amazing impact on how you feel after, which helps bonding with baby etc.

@Bali200 fingers crossed they come before then! Oh god I walked about 10 miles a day and kept swimming etc to try and get my DD out.
I had an induction and had a fairly positive experience with it - I was overdue - labour took 24 hours with continued progression slowly but surely. I stayed at home in the dark for most of that time (planned home birth) but then went in for some pain relief. I think that really helped keep things moving

@Wise0w what day is your scan? Keeping everything crossed for you! l

@Bali200 thank you! And goodness you are so close now! My little man last time arrived at 41+1 and that last week was so tough mentally! My waters ended up going with a little trickle at 40+6 which set me on 24hr countdown to induction which like you I was keen to avoid if possible. Wasn't in established labour at the required time so went in. I asked for one final sweep before any other induction methods and they managed to break my remaining waters which set things off. Fully dilated in 4hrs and baby boy was in my arms 3hrs later. Fingers crossed things kick off for you soon! 🙏🏼💗 Either way, it won't be long now until your little one will be in your arms 🥰

@samilicious thank you! And yes, I actually had an episiotomy last time and the recovery wasn't exactly easy/pleasant. Not quite the level of a section I'm sure but definitely impacted movement etc a bit as you say. You just get on with whatever you have to do don't you. I'm sure I'll cope. Must be a nerve-wracking time for you approaching testing again after last time. Sending big hugs and strength. Waiting for the results was hard even when in my heart I wasn't really expecting anything so I can imagine how tough it is when you've had a previous finding to contend with. 💕

@Wise0wl hope all is great at your scan. 20wks! 🥰 It's a great milestone to tick off. 💗

@samilicious got my fingers crossed for your next scan and NIPT test, how have you been feeling? Thank you for sharing your experience, I feel like I’ve only heard negative induction stories so it’s nice to hear one from the other side. How were you induced if you don’t mind me asking, as I feel like most induction stories I’ve heard involve staying on the labour ward which I’m wanting to avoid as I was hoping for a water birth.

Yes I feel like I’m trying everything to get her out and nothing is working, she’s being a stubborn little monkey for sure! I’m still walking 10k steps every day although trying to remain polite with the new neighbours when every time I go out walking the dogs I get asked ‘baby not here yet?’ is proving quite difficult 😬 have also had more sex in the past 10 days than I have in the entire pregnancy combined 😆😆😆

@SnookyPook ahh we posted at the same time so I didn’t see your reply! Yes I feel like I keep switching between feeling like she’s never going to arrive and being super fed up, but also then thinking she’ll arrive when she’s ready - I was put forward 6 days at the dating scan, even though I was tracking ovulation, so I know today is my actual due date based on conception.

It’s felt like the longest week for sure, but I think it’s more to do with everyone messaging constantly and when I ignore them and don’t reply they assume I’ve gone into labour which is even more frustrating when I haven’t 😂

That sounds like a really positive experience with your first labour, I really hope mine is similar and that my second sweep tomorrow gets things moving too 🙏🏼 I can’t believe our babies are going to be arriving so close together 🥰💗🩵

@Bali200 will keep everything crossed that the second sweep does it for you! I also focused on him coming when he was ready and it did help. I also tried to focus on enjoying those last hours/days of him just being safely tucked away in there and not having to keep track of nappies/feeds etc! It's such a weird feeling when you know your whole world is about to change! Use the next 24hrs to focus on anything to get that oxytocin boosted! Lots of funny/cute/feel-good experiences. Talk to bump and tell her you're ready to meet her 🥰 Enjoy some fresh air, gentle yoga, yummy food... Nurture yourself and just trust the process 🥰 At one point with my son I picked a random day a couple of weeks ahead and focused on the fact that however the next few days panned out, he would absolutely definitely be with me by then and that really helped too.

@Bali200 your comments about sex really made me laugh! I remember that one well 😂
So I had to really push and fall out with the hospital a bit. I'd had everything agreed with my midwife but then she wasn't working when everything was happening so they tried to fob me off. I had a pessary at 10pm after standing my ground (saying I was more than happy to do ongoing management with daily scans if they didn't let me get induced and go home - also an option, and 99% of the stories and things they tell you about being pregnant longer are bollocks. In France their term is a week or two later than ours which makes so much more sense). Had the band on my belly to check baby was ok for half an hour, then they let me go home. Went home, had shreddies, got in bed and water broke like a film. Went back up, checked, sent home again (they said to go up of this happened). Stayed at home until 11am the next day, awake labouring all that time in and out of my bath at home. My home birth midwife checked me a few times in that time but only got up to 3cm. They're not allowed to bring gas and air until you're 4cm at home, but I think I was probs at 4cm when I gave up and went in so kinda wish I'd stuck it out a bit more! Went in hospital, gas and air was brilliant but didn't love morphine at all. Only had a tiny bit near the end. Was in the pool there for the last few hours, then came out for a rest and she popped out in the bed! My body just starting pushing herself though they told me to stop and rest, was the weirdest thing

Sorry essay but hope that helps!
Anything you can do to stay in the dark/dim lights/eye mask if on ward/smell nice things/headphones/looking at pictures helps work with the drugs to keep your body calm and working with them to do the do I think. I did this free course and found it really helpful - think the brith videos are only about an hour altogether: komu.teachable.com

@Bali200 I was thinking about you last week and wondering if baby had made an appearance yet - sorry to hear that she's not here yet, but I hope the next sweep does the trick and she's with you soon!

Super-helpful reading all the reflections on induction/c-sections - I'm a way off doing my birth plan yet and obviously don't know whether I might end up needing a section or to be induced but it's really helpful seeing others' experiences. I know a few people who have had c-sections (some planned, some unplanned) but not many who have been induced, and one or two people have outright said "don't get induced" although I guess there isn't always much choice. Lots to think about but so helpful to find out about people's first hand experiences.

Thank you guys @SnookyPook @samilicious @CluelessInLondon 💗

Had my sweep this morning and been on a long walk, now enjoying an ice cream in the sun ☀️

We have been having/planning my favourite meals for the next few days, watching my favourite films and making the most of it just being us two - the calm before the storm!

My induction is booked in for Saturday so by this time next week she should be here.

My midwife said that it’s normally early inductions that don’t end well as the baby and body aren’t ready so just hoping it’s a relatively smooth process if I do have to be induced as I’m already 2cm dilated.