Grad thread: TTC after loss carry on

[Wise0wl]

Hello all,

I just thought I'd set up a grad thread from our TTC threads, now there are quite a few people with their bfps so that we can keep in touch, and there's a forum for those on their TTC journey to check in with us!

I've sifted through the previous threads so think this is a reasonably full list:

*@SnookyPook
*@wyto
*@Aaliyahrae
*@SunSparkle
*@graceinc22
*@Gem0302
*@Bali200
*@Oxalis00
*@GeorgeR28
*@CluelessInLondon
*@HerbaceousPerennial
*@NphysT
*@GoldDustWoman90

I'd love to hear where you all are in your journey. I am approx 4 +2 (so very early!), after two MMCs. Feeling remarkably relaxed as, although I like a plan, I've resigned myself to the fact that there's little I can do to alter the fate of this pregnancy so until later down the line, I just sort of have to roll with it.

Aw congratulations @samilicious ! 🎉 Lovely to have you here 🥰

So good to see you here 🥰

@Bali200 39 weeks! I’m sorry about the anxiety and intrusive thoughts. Through loss and TTC and pregnancy I’ve always found work a helpful distraction. Do you have anything on your list of things to do before she arrives?

I’ve got just over two weeks til my 20 week scan. I can’t believe it on one hand, and also this has felt like the slowest 18 weeks of my life on the other.

@ThelastRolo20 really glad you’ve not had more spotting ❤️🤞

@SnookyPook what an amazing achievement to get to 34 weeks! I’m so glad he had a disco. I remember going in for monitoring with my DC and it turned out he was just asleep for an hour!

& welcome @samilicious, I’m so glad you found the thread. How are you feeling? X

Ok wow emotional rollercoaster reading this thread. So tough to see our thread gals going through it and having subsequent losses :( also very relieving to hear that about resting heart rate because mine is not going up at all! But always had a pretty chill heart and blood pressure etc

I was in such shock at first but now it’s wearing off I’m descending into panic 😅 I can book an EPU scan and NIPT when I’m 6w for 7/8w through Fetal Medicine. It just feels like such a long road ahead because although it will be nice after NIPT results and 12w scan, I’m really waiting until 20w to get the full all clear after my tfmr last time 😭 I’m determined to enjoy pregnancy though as I’ve waited 2 years since my last BFP. Did a CB test 4w+1 and got 2-3 weeks on it, will try and hold out until 6w to do another. Also the fact I got made redundant a couple of weeks ago not helping anxiety levels 😅

@CluelessInLondon sounds like such a nightmare with your placenta! Hopefully you get good news at 34 week scan and the first felt kick with your DH made me smile so much

@Wise0wl ugh that “perfect” scan thing annoyed me so much!!! My friend did the same the other day when I’ve explicitly told her how they make me feel. I only recently had the courage to look at my TFMR scan pic properly for the first time (baby shaped but NOT “perfect” due to Patau altering the working and appearance of things)

@ThelastRolo20 the latest brown discharge/clot episode must have been so nervewrecking!!! Sounds like it’s passed well now and hopefully plain sailing from here. Good they could see what the cause was on the scan. I know a couple of people who’ve had similar and pregnancies were all pretty straight forward as time went on so fingers crossed same for you to save your nerves

@SnookyPook sounds like your little man has been giving you the run around too! Glad you’re approaching your last few weeks feeling good no matter what his birthday may be

@Bali200 can’t wait until your rainbow is here!

@Bugdem123 lovely to see your name again! Glad everything is going ok

@samilicious it’s an amazing commitment that you’ve managed to catch up on everything! Thanks for the solidarity RE ‘perfect’ scan 🙄

The only thing that has worked for me is to set small milestones. Looking ahead 40 weeks is quite overwhelming, but for me, working my way through the various EPU scans, 12 week scan, anomaly blood tests, private scan, gender scan, 16 week appointment. I’m now hanging on to the 20 week scan, and then viability at 24 weeks (🤞). Each milestone makes my shoulders drop a bit more, though I know from others that the anxiety can and will come back, it’s enough at the moment. X

Awww amazing news @samilicious! I’m so pleased for you and to see your name here 💗 it does definitely help to break it down into milestones like Wise says, I can imagine the 20 week scan will feel like the biggest milestone for you to get past after what you’ve been through, but I absolutely love your positive attitude about wanting to enjoy the pregnancy ✨

Glad to hear no more spotting @ThelastRolo20, I’ve got everything crossed for you ahead of your dating scan next week 🤞🏼

@Wise0wl yes you’re right, work definitely was a good distraction although I hated being there every second towards the end! There’s nothing like time alone with your own thoughts to send you into a downwards spiral 🤯 I thought I’d have more to do to keep me busy, having recently moved house, but everything is organised and ready for her arrival! Are you planning on finding out the sex at the 20 week scan?

@SnookyPook it’s so tough isn’t it, I am so worried about reduced movements and not picking up on it, my little one has always been quite chilled in there so I only feel her every few hours which doesn’t help, and if she’s late for her usual 9pm party I start going into a dark place too, but I’m so glad everything was ok yesterday and 34 weeks is such an achievement! Also congrats on finishing up for ML this week 🎉

@Bali200 your organisation is so impressive! I always think I want time to do nothing or to watch loads of things or to pick up a hobby but the reality is I’m very bad at doing nothing!

We found out last week we’re having a little girl. I can’t believe it as for some reason I always strongly felt that the babies we lost were girls, and I was certain this baby was a boy, so part of me thinks we’ll be told the earlier scan was wrong at my 20 week scan!

@Wise0wl small milestones deffo sounds like a good plan. Might add more scans to help me get there, but DH might take some persuading because we had a private one last time and it gave us false hope (they didn't identify the anomalies that were really obvious or tell us to get checked out professionally or anything). If I had a job I would have booked 5 by now 😂 and I already get them at 7/8, 12, 16 and 20 through nhs. Amazing news about finding out the sex! Do you already have a DS or DD? I had a feeling it was DS. So hard when we have those feelings - conflicting results can happen!

@Bali200 thank you ♥️ love the organisation! I loved breaking that time up with mate dates / family dates - lunch with my mum, dog walk with a pal. Harder to get that time after and nice to have something to look forward to every couple of days

@samilicious I have a DS, but I felt very strongly with him that he was a boy, and I felt exactly the same this time round 😂 I’m really half expecting to be told it’s a boy at the 20 week scan!

I’m so glad you get such a breadth of scans. The thing I found hard was when I had no clinical need to go to the EPU and my scans with them had finished, as I ‘made it’ to the 12 week scan. I had scans at 6, 8, 9, and 11 weeks with the EPU so the gap between 12 weeks and 20 felt impossibly long. I’ve had a couple of private scans - our first MMC was detected at a private scan so DH wasn’t sure about having more, but I convinced him to go to a different clinic!

@ThelastRolo20 That must have been really worrying, and not great that you didn't get much help from EPU - but it sounds like a good sign that it seems to be a one-off and no fresh blood. Keeping everything crossed for you for your scan in a few days that you get to see a healthy little bean in there. ❤️

@Bali200 Not long to go - that's very exciting and scary too! Hope you are managing to keep on top of the anxieties and you don't have to wait much longer to meet your little rainbow.

@SnookyPook Glad to hear all is okay - you are definitely doing the right thing getting checked out whenever you're feeling worried about anything, it's always better to be on the safe side. Are you all done with work now? Is there much to do to prep for the new arrival or are you all sorted?

@samilicious So happy to see you on this thread. ❤️ And well done for catching up on everything, that is dedication to the cause! It's great that you already know you'll be able to get some extra scans to check on how things are going, there's definitely something reassuring about knowing someone will be keeping an eye on everything - especially before 12 weeks and in the first part of the second trimester, those really drag when you normally have to go a long time without any scans.

@Wise0wl A girl, how wonderful! I'm the opposite way round to you, I had a hunch that the baby we lost was a boy and both me and my husband think maybe this one is a girl (people keep telling my husband that he's a "girl dad"!). Already been warned by the midwife to make sure we tell the sonographer at the 34 week scan straight away that we don't know and want to wait until the birth to find out, in case it's really obvious!

@samilicious @CluelessInLondon thanks both. Still nothing more so feeling optimistic from Monday, although as we all know nothing is certain!

Will be sure to update once I've had the scan (have to wait until mid afternoon but I have the whole day off)

@Wise0wl seems like our DHs are similar about the scans after previous experiences! Yes I think the clinic we went to was a bit dodgy. The more expensive one we sometimes used called it "Beirut" 😂 I really want that many scans! Is there anything detrimental about scanning too much? It used to say on the private scan clinic website about not booking them within 2 weeks of each other but no idea why

@CluelessInLondon thank you! And good on you for keeping everything a surprise. I would love that level of willpower. The private scan clinic do a blood test really early when they can detect it, half tempted by that 🤪

@ThelastRolo20 have you had the scan yet?

Hi ladies, I tested positive last Sunday. This is my 5th pregnancy. My last 3 were all MMC. I'm freaking out about line progression on tests and wondered if anyone here had slow progression and things are looking okay for you? With my only successful pregnancy (my 5.5 year old) I had a dye stealer by now. But to be honest all my MMC my tests were always pretty strong and I lost them all later on in first tri. I'm struggling with anxiety a lot and don't know if I should be hopeful or not 😔. Just to mention this pregnancy I'm on full kitchen sink immune protocol including Fragmin x

@CluelessInLondon I admire the fact you’re keeping it a surprise!

@samilicious I think there are some reports about frequent scanning but they’re often from similar/the same sources as anti-vaxxers and the like. And surely EPU wouldn’t suggest it if it was dangerous. We just went with their suggestions rather than requesting any specific time frames. How are you feeling?

Hi @HopefulH, sorry for your losses and gentle congrats. I can’t help you I’m afraid but there’s a bigger group called ‘pregnancy after loss’ in the pregnancy forum so more people there may be able to help, if nobody can here. I hope it works out 🤞

Hi lovely, I've had 3 (!) early scans. Was meant to be 2 but had brown discharge at 6 weeks hence the extra.

Last one was 2 weeks ago and my "official".12 week scan is Monday - preparing for either outcome really given the recent clot and a history of MMCs 😕

How are you feeling? Has it sunk in yet? X

@Wise0wl the one person I know who's anti-scan is also antivax so that also makes sense 😂 she's really into free birthing which yknow, each to your own, but she's really into dissing scan stuff and being bitchy online about people who get scans and extra intervention. Deffo must be fine if EPU did it! I've booked a private one for next Saturday at 6w1d, then the EPU one and NIPT will be at 7-8w, then will have 12w one then will book a sex scan one for 15w. When is your next one?

@ThelastRolo20 aww that's good to know! Bet it was well nerve wracking for you. It's sunk in a bit but just turned into fear I think 😅 I had a MC at 5w6d before so if I can get to next week I'll feel a little better. Never had a MMC but so scared of having one so also feel better with the scan in

@HopefulH gentle congratulations - sorry I do t think I can help either. My only live birth has been a dye stealer too. Hopefully someone can help in another forum xxx

@HopefulH I've never had a dye stealer until the peak week (around week 10!).

My 2.5 year old daughter is testament that line strength isn't everything 🙂 your progression looks good x

😂 @samilicious perhaps there is something in anti scan and anti vax! How exciting about your scan next week! My next one is my 20 week scan which is a week on Wednesday. I’m really nervous!

@ThelastRolo20 Thinking of you today, really hope the scan goes well.

@samilicious @Wise0wl We were quite tempted to find out the sex - we had always said we didn't want to know, then starting umming and ahhing about it in the lead up to the 20 week scan, but decided in the end to stick with our original plan and keep it a surprise.

@samilicious I think it's usually just advised not to have scans too close together as it might mean not much has changed in between and it won't tell you much - I don't think there's any actual risk associated with it. I had my early scans at the EGU 2 weeks apart in this pregnancy, the only issue I had was a tiny bit of spotting/brown discharge a few days after each one which I assumed was due to the cervix being slightly irritated and bleeding a bit which then took a few days to come out.

I'm officially in the third trimester now, which feels crazy - I absolutely could not imagine getting to this point at the end of January when I got my positive test. Been into the hospital this morning for my 28 week bloods and anti-D injection (bit of a double whammy having those on my first day back at work after holiday! 😫), and it definitely feels like everything ramps up a bit more now in terms of the midwife appointments and the planning for baby's arrival. All definitely getting more real!

Hope everyone is doing well at the moment.

What an achievement @CluelessInLondon!

I know I’m so lucky to be pregnant but am finding it frustrating with an anterior placenta because I have felt little movements from time to time, but nothing that gives me confidence. I think the nerves are ramping up ahead of my 20 week scan next week!

@Wise0wl just over a week to go then, exciting!

@CluelessInLondon interesting to know about the scans and that being why they advise them further apart - makes sense. That does sound like a lot in one go! Exciting now things are amping up

So I had some weird pangy pains the last few days deep in my left side and freaked myself out. Had them a tiny bit at this point in previous pregnancies but not this strong or consistent. Also didn't get a few niggly things looked at when I had TFMR pregnancy and vowed to take extra precautions this time.

After 111, 3 hospital visits and a funeral in between, finally got a scan confirming that the pregnancy wasn't ectopic 🥳 and good HCG levels, though they could only see the sac (only 5w3d so hopefully just too early)

@CluelessInLondon thank you ❤️ measuring 5 days ahead (!) and everything looks good.

If the bloods come back low risk I think I might be able to relax a bit 😅

@samilicious so pleased your early scan shows things in the right place and progressing!

@ThelastRolo20 that is such good news! I’m so glad!

@samilicious that's great news 🥰 sounds like it's currently progressing as it should be x