Grad thread: TTC after loss carry on

[Wise0wl]

Hello all,

I just thought I'd set up a grad thread from our TTC threads, now there are quite a few people with their bfps so that we can keep in touch, and there's a forum for those on their TTC journey to check in with us!

I've sifted through the previous threads so think this is a reasonably full list:

*@SnookyPook
*@wyto
*@Aaliyahrae
*@SunSparkle
*@graceinc22
*@Gem0302
*@Bali200
*@Oxalis00
*@GeorgeR28
*@CluelessInLondon
*@HerbaceousPerennial
*@NphysT
*@GoldDustWoman90

I'd love to hear where you all are in your journey. I am approx 4 +2 (so very early!), after two MMCs. Feeling remarkably relaxed as, although I like a plan, I've resigned myself to the fact that there's little I can do to alter the fate of this pregnancy so until later down the line, I just sort of have to roll with it.

@13lucy I'm impressed you managed to soldier on through a hen do! The first trimester was a killer for tiredness for me (weeks 8-10 I was so tired I had days when I literally couldn't do anything but lie on the sofa!). Did you end up contacting the scan clinic to ask about the measurements?

After being so worried a few days ago about baby not moving I have really noticed movements getting stronger since Friday - can definitely tell baby is getting bigger! Also got the first kick that we could feel from the outside on Friday evening, which was a lovely moment as my husband had his hand on my belly at the time so he got to feel it too. 😊

How is everyone else? Hope all is well and everyone has had a good weekend!

I hope you can have a relaxing start to the week @13lucy! I get the change in others’ circumstances making the outcome of your pregnancy feel more pressured and heightening the feelings of loss. I’ve got the same situation, only not twins. Just taking it day by day at the moment. X

@CluelessInLondon I'm not sure how I managed it to be honest! Felt like all the endurance training I've done over the years came into effect and I just pushed through it somehow. Luckily I haven't been drinking for years so no questions asked. I was organising it too so couldn't really relax! Left me feeling a bit anxious as I've definitely overdone it and don't want it to harm the baby. Been struggling loads with hayfever/pregnancy rhinitis and getting sneezing fits through the day and night which hasn't been fun. Felt a bit more nauseous the past few days but I think some of that might be down to tiredness.

I emailed the scan place but they haven't got back to me. Currently think I'm just going to wait to 12 week scan. Don't want to ruin the holiday if a scan gives me something to worry about.

That's amazing you got to feel the movement, I can't wait to get to that stage! Funny how time seems to fly when you follow other people's journeys but for yourself takes forever!

@Wise0wl thank you, going to need it! Yes definitely, it makes you feel like you're getting behind in life which is crazy really. Think I've said it before but sometimes I want to move somewhere in the middle of nowhere and totally disconnect. The quote 'comparison is the thief of joy' is so true.

Just found out I've had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks. Started spotting yesterday. Absolutely devastated.

@13lucy oh god I am so sorry love. It's utterly unfair that you're going through this again. After having 2 back to back MMCs I know how cruel it feels 💔

Have you had a scan to confirm? I hope you have lots of love and support around you xx

@ThelastRolo20 yes had a scan today which confirmed. Caught up from the last scan but something must have gone wrong over the last couple of days. I'm heartbroken.

@13lucy I'm so sorry, it makes no sense when this happens, and just leaves us with unanswered questions 💔 x

@13lucy I’m so, so sorry. Awful news. Really so sorry to hear that x

@13lucy I am so, so sorry. It’s so unfair, and you don’t deserve this. I had two MMCs one after the other and I know how hard it is. If it’s helpful to chat please let me know, otherwise I hope you’ve got good support around you and am sending lots of love xx

@13lucy I'm so, so sorry to hear this - it's so completely cruel and unfair for anyone to have to go through it more than once. I hope you have lots of support around you from the people who love you, and we are all here for you if you need to chat or vent. ❤️

I’m so sorry @13lucy, it’s so incredibly unfair to happen twice. Sending you lots of love ❤️

Thanks all, I'm just feeling so sad and also worried about dealing with the miscarriage. Either need to let it pass naturally or have an MVA on Thursday. Feeling like it's my fault as I had a heavy weekend and something has gone wrong right after it. You just think the stats will be with you after one miscarriage - two is so cruel. Going to take a while to recover from this one.

@13lucy oh I'm so sorry to hear this 😞 Please don't blame yourself though. It's horrible but it's nothing you've done. Sending you so much love. Hope you've got support around you. It's such a tough time - especially with another pregnancy in the family too. Take the time that you need. When you're ready, hopefully you can take comfort from the fact that several of us on this thread had more than one loss but things are looking up now. Hopefully there will be brighter days around the corner for you too 💗 Massive hugs 💗

@13lucy I know there's a feeling of responsibility but you mustn't blame yourself - a bit of overexertion over the weekend won't have caused this. It won't be any comfort right now, I know, but all of our lost little ones just weren't meant to be. I hope the one that is meant to be is waiting for you when you're ready. ❤

Thank you for the support. Had a brilliant consultant today who showed us the brain hadn't developed which has put my mind at ease a bit. MVA booked in tomorrow and then focus on recovery.

@13lucy I'm so glad you got some answers. I'm not sure if you've had an MVA before but for what it's worth mine last time was really straight forward as was the recovery ❤️

@13lucy echoing @ThelastRolo20 on both counts. I’m glad you had a brilliant consultant and got some answers, and likewise I had two MVAs and my recovery was very straightforward. Sending love xx

@13lucy That's good that you had a consultant who was able to help give you some answers and reassurance. I hope the MVA goes smoothly and that the physical recovery is quick. ❤

@13lucy so glad you had a good consultant and found the appointment reassuring. Good you've got something booked in too so it's not going to drag on too long. Sending hugs 💗

All looking good at my latest scan today. Measuring 8+5 and they've booked me in again from 2 weeks just due to my history.

Hope everyone is getting on well x

@ThelastRolo20 That's good news! And good that you have another one booked too, that's a nice milestone to break up the wait for the dating scan.

I'm currently in the process of clearing out my wardrobe and putting stuff that doesn't fit me at the moment into storage so I can make room for maternity clothes. I'm hoping that the incentive of all those nice things waiting for me next year will help me to shift a few pounds after baby has arrived! In the meantime I am now absolutely obsessed with Vinted, either me or my husband is going to the shop every day to collect more parcels. 😂 Have had to buy a totally new summer wardrobe because I'm going away next Friday and none of my shorts, trousers, dresses or swimsuits fit me!

That’s lovely news @ThelastRolo20! How are you feeling?

I’m so so tired. I seem to be more exhausted in the second trimester than the first, which makes me worried something isn’t right. Also weaning myself off progesterone (down to one pessary/day) this week, so I’m hoping when I’m off those I might have a boost in energy! 15+5 and I’ve got a scan booked next week so with any luck baby’s still in there and doing what it should be 🤞

Great news @ThelastRolo20, I’m so pleased for you!

@Wise0wl I also didn’t get that boost of energy that was meant to happen in the 2nd trimester, I was diagnosed with very low ferritin at 25 week bloods even though they were fine at 12 weeks. Maybe it could be the same thing for you? Also I can’t believe you’re 15 weeks already, feels like it’s gone super quick even though I’m sure it doesn’t feel like that for you!

@CluelessInLondon I also became obsessed with buying Vinted maternity clothes! Enjoy your break, are you going anywhere nice?

A little update from me, I finish for mat leave tomorrow at 36+5, can’t believe she’s going to be here so soon 🤯

@Bali200 We're going to Mauritius for 2 weeks - I can't wait, I am really in need of a break. We're heading back to a really lovely hotel that we stayed at on our honeymoon a few years ago, and I intend to relax HARD.
Can't believe your mat leave is here now! How did your house move go?

@Bali200 oh fantastic! I'm winding down also - from next week I'm only doing 2 day weeks to use up AL and my last full day will be 2nd July!! Can't believe it!

@CluelessInLondon oh that sounds heavenly... Not at all jealous!!!

@ThelastRolo20 so glad all was looking good 🥰

@Wise0wl aw that no man's land in early second trimester is tough! Not too much longer until you should start feeling some little bumps though which is nice and reassuring (except when it's not... 😩😂)