Grad thread: TTC after loss carry on

[Wise0wl]

Hello all,

I just thought I'd set up a grad thread from our TTC threads, now there are quite a few people with their bfps so that we can keep in touch, and there's a forum for those on their TTC journey to check in with us!

I've sifted through the previous threads so think this is a reasonably full list:

*@SnookyPook
*@wyto
*@Aaliyahrae
*@SunSparkle
*@graceinc22
*@Gem0302
*@Bali200
*@Oxalis00
*@GeorgeR28
*@CluelessInLondon
*@HerbaceousPerennial
*@NphysT
*@GoldDustWoman90

I'd love to hear where you all are in your journey. I am approx 4 +2 (so very early!), after two MMCs. Feeling remarkably relaxed as, although I like a plan, I've resigned myself to the fact that there's little I can do to alter the fate of this pregnancy so until later down the line, I just sort of have to roll with it.

@ThelastRolo20 so sorry you’ve had brown discharge, it’s such a worry! Wishing you lots and lots of luck for your scan. I was surprised this pregnancy with how noticeable my cramps were early on so I hope it’s just baby burrowing in/uterus stretching etc. 🤞💕

I’ve had some pink spotting after a few weeks with none, so am going to see if EPU can squeeze me in next week before my consultant appointment. Trying to get the balance between managing my anxiety and using the support that’s been offered for reassurance.

@Wise0wl @13lucy pleased to say everything's fine! Baby measuring a couple days ahead at 6+5 with a heartbeat. There's a bleed outside of the sack which explains the discharge but he didn't seem concerned about it.

Next scan in two weeks 🤞🏻

@ThelastRolo20 That’s such good news! I’m so, so pleased for you 🤞

@ThelastRolo20 that's brilliant news, what a relief!

@13lucy@ThelastRolo20oh that's great news! What a relief 🥰 I had random spotting/bleeding a few times up to 14wks and panicked every time but thankfully all was fine. @Wise0wl hopefully all fine for you too. 💕 Xx

Thanks @SnookyPook, at this stage it’s now more rare when I don’t seem to have spotting than when I do 🙃 but after two weeks of none around the 12 week mark I thought it was done, so it surprised me when it came back!

Wonderful news @ThelastRolo20! Also great to be measuring ahead by a couple of days! I’m glad they’ve found the cause of the bleeding too, although I imagine it must be triggering seeing blood x

@Bugdem123 so pleased for you that you had a positive scan, hope you are feeling nice and relaxed after your holiday! When is your dating scan? Apologies if I’ve missed it in the thread, trying to catch up! X

@Wise0wl sorry to hear that you’re spotting again, I hope you get seen by EPU for some reassurance next week, just remember the odds are definitely in your favour at this point x

@13lucy sending you lots of luck for your scan on Sunday x

Hope everyone else is doing well! Sorry I’ve been rubbish at replying to the thread recently, I’m 34+3 now and the tiredness has hit me like a ton of bricks since I hit 33 weeks. If only I could get some sleep at night 🙃🙃🙃 cannot wait to finish for mat leave in 2 weeks, I’ve totally hit the wall now and really struggling to haul myself into the office 3 times a week. But firstly I need to get through a house move next weekend, who thought it would be a good idea to move house at 35+6 🤯😂 x

@Bali200 thank you, I'm feeling a bit unsure today. Boobs are less 'full', haven't had any twinges or anything and bloating has gone. Not sure if that's normal or not but feeling really anxious about the scan and seems so long away! Sounds like you've got loads on, try and get some rest when you can!

@13lucy I know how tough it is at the beginning when all you have to go on is symptoms, but it is totally normal for symptoms to come and go, and I really am hopeful for you that it’ll be good news on Sunday 🌈 thank you, I am totally in awe of how others cope feeling like this whilst looking after other children, I’m struggling to get through each day just looking after myself and my dogs 😂 but looking forward to going on mat leave soon and nesting in the new house x

@13lucy my symptoms aren't stable, they also come and go ❤️ these early weeks are so worrying though. Sunday will be here soon and I'm really hopeful that it's good news for you xx

@Bali200 so exciting! I feel such a long way away from where you are now but I hope I get to that point. It is really tough, especially as I've only had a miscarriage to go by, so any time things change I get so anxious! I don't really have many symptoms to go by.

@13lucy yes so tricky when you’ve only had a miscarriage as your experience of pregnancy. This time round, on some level I keep expecting something to go wrong, but every appointment and scan, it’s all been so positive and just progressing as normal (am 29 weeks now) - as I suppose happens in most pregnancies, but not in my experience! I know it’s so hard but really try not to analyse your symptoms too much, you’re still so early and symptoms can be so minimal and variable then anyway, even if you’re the type of person to get more symptoms later (which you might not be!) xx

Thank you @graceinc22 , appreciate the reassurance! A few days ago I'd feel stuff in my tummy but haven't had it recently. I know it's probably not actually anything or just increased blood flow, but felt reassuring! Sunday can't come quick enough!

@ThelastRolo20 Such good news to hear things were looking okay at your scan after the anxiety of having the discharge - and at least if they've seen what's likely to be causing it you don't have to panic immediately if there's any more (easier said than done, I know!).

@SnookyPook Hope all is okay at the latest growth scan!

@Wise0wl Sorry to hear you've had some more spotting - have you managed to get in touch with the EPU? Hopefully it's just a bit more of the same and nothing to be concerned about and they can give you some reassurance.

@Bali200 Good luck for your house move, I definitely don't envy you - I hate moving at the best of times, couldn't imagine doing it whilst pregnant! Hope it all goes okay and you can get through to your mat leave without any stresses.

@13lucy Keeping fingers crossed for you on Sunday. I know exactly what you mean about having nothing to judge by other than a miscarriage, I was totally convinced when I found out I was pregnant this time that it wouldn't last longer than 9 weeks because in my head that's just when pregnancies end. Try to remind yourself that this is a totally new pregnancy and the little bean that you're growing has no idea what happened last time. ❤

I've been away for a few days this week, which was really nice - still struggling a bit with the inconsistent baby movements though, ended up feeling a bit down and anxious a couple of days ago when I wasn't feeling anything, and it was my wedding anniversary so I would definitely have preferred to be feeling more cheerful! Baby seemed to be more active yesterday though, we ordered takeaway when we got home and it was wriggling around all over the place after I ate - it must like pizza. 😄Think I can feel it squirming around a bit now but it's still so difficult to distinguish from other random stuff, especially when you know that everything in your body is a bit pushed out of place - definitely makes me question whether I'm really feeling baby movements or something else.

@Bali200 i can’t believe your due date is so nearly here!

@CluelessInLondon I’m so glad that baby likes pizza! I have a retroverted uterus and with DC1 had an anterior placenta but I used to find movements more reliable in the evenings, in the bath, or after dinner!

I found a local scan place and in the end went there for a reassurance scan, it was lovely to see baby wriggling around 🥰

Hi All .. we had our latest growth scan today (thanks for checking in @CluelessInLondon !) .. Baby is fine but some slowing of overall growth rate. Now going to have bi-weekly (!!) scans from next week of blood flow etc and my next growth scan in a fortnight as previously booked in. At the next growth scan, if similar pattern, it may be that they would be looking to get him out around 33/34wks...! However, it is still completely up in the air and there is a chance his growth picks up again in which case we would be aiming for probably delivery around 37/38 wks. In either scenario it's all sounding ridiculously close and a bit overwhelming (I'll be 30wks on Monday).

They also stressed I need to be straight in if any concerns about movements etc and to trust my Mummy instincts if anything feels off... This was a bit triggering in terms of the implications and what they were trying not to say (although actually no different to what they say to any of us I guess, it just felt like there was added weight to it like they might expect it or something).

Meanwhile, I'm to get as much rest as possible without being sedentary (🤷🏼‍♀️🙃😂) I'm ok but just feeling a bit overwhelmed and teary by it all. It's lots to take in... slightly thrown and Hubby has gone into no nonsense business mode to rally me through so feeling I've not been able to quite process how I need yet. He keeps telling me to put it all out of my head etc as thinking about it won't change/help anything... 🙃 Meanwhile I'm contemplating possibly having a tiny baby here within a month and all that entails, no idea what/when things might happen, paranoid in case my Mummy instincts don't pick up on something vital... Eurgh. 😌 BUT the positives... Today he was looking fine. Amniotic fluid normal, BP fine, blood flow in umbilical cord etc good...

After my losses last year I think I'm just finding the added concerns a bit much and just hoping he gets here safely. I've already spoken to my midwife about some extra support with slightly heightened anxiety etc so hoping that will come through soon.

@Wise0wl so glad you got to see little one and all was fine!

@CluelessInLondon glad you were able to enjoy some time away. Eurgh, movement monitoring can get so stressful at times. Glad little one likes a pizza party though!!

@SnookyPook I'm really glad they're doing extra monitoring and sounds like they have a plan for you ❤️ make sure you go in if you have any concerns in the meantime anyway

@13lucy good luck with your scan today - I have everything crossed for you xx

@ThelastRolo20 thank you. Couldn't believe it but we saw a heartbeat! Measuring 6 days behind based on my ovulation date but the sonographer wasn't concerned at all. So a bit of a mixture of relief but also anxious about measuring behind! Has anyone else had similar? Had a bit of a Google and seems as though it's common and they can catch up.

@13lucy ah what a relief! Yes it can be so common. I did measure 2 weeks behind in my last pregnancy which is a far bigger difference than yours and it didn't end well.

I think you're in a much stronger position though 🥰 when's your next scan? X

@ThelastRolo20 I'm away a bit over the next few weeks so was thinking in 3 weeks time if I can wait that long! We never got a heartbeat last time so hoping it's a good sign and that measuring behind isn't an issue. I'm not sure how it's possible with the dates when I was tracking ovulation but the sonographer said multiple times that there wasn't anything to worry about. I was too overwhelmed in the moment to ask more questions!

I’m so pleased for you @13lucy! I have no idea when I ovulated for the cycle I fell pregnant most recently, but from reading other posts I think it’s quite common based on implantation happening at different times?

@Wise0wl yes that's what I've seen too. The sonographer said something about up to two weeks difference but I can't remember exactly. I thought it was from conception though and not implantation 🤔either way I've got a few weeks to go to get any further reassurance! The heartbeat was very clear/strong which was incredible to see so I'm feeling grateful for that at least.

@13lucy oh that's great news! My first scan with this pregnancy was at 7+2 but I measured a week behind with a good heartbeat (6+2). We've stayed on that trajectory ever since so I'm presuming I just ovulated/implanted late. Hopefully that reassures you a bit! I think seeing the heartbeat is the big positive at this stage!

@ThelastRolo20 thank you lovely. I'm feeling a bit calmer about it all now I've had some time to process. My Mum came over with some tiny baby clothes too (soooooo small!!!) so I've washed them this afternoon and got most of my bits for my hospital bag so feeling a lot more prepared for whatever happens in the next few weeks! It's still daunting but I have to focus on how far we've come and the fact he's been a little fighter and so determined this far!

Hope everyone else is doing well. Any big scans etc coming up this week for people? X

@SnookyPook it’s so exciting that you’re packing your bag and it definitely sounds like they’re looking after you well! You are so right, he’s a little fighter and you’ve come so, so far - before too long you’ll get to meet him 💕

Nothing much to report from me. Had a 14 week scan and plucked up the courage to tell a couple of friends and my parents, which feels weird to be honest! I’ve got a consultant appointment this week but that’s it for me until my 16 week appointment which is actually at 17+5. We’re going to have a private scan between 16-17 weeks to help with anxiety and to give us a tangible milestone to work towards I think. I can’t remember, did you have many extra scans early on?

@Wise0wl ah that's nice that you've felt able to share with a couple of people now. Starts making it all a bit more real and tangible I think!

I actually didn't book any private scans between my NHS ones. I did have one with EPU at 14wks (not long after my 12wk scan) due to a bleed. Then I got by on my midwife visits and a couple of Doppler listen-ins ahead of the 20wk scan. Making up for it now though 😂 I think definitely book another if it helps the anxiety. In my case I found hearing the heartbeat enough - especially coupled with bump visibly growing and starting to feel movements. But if I'd felt the need I would have definitely booked one in. No point tormenting ourselves with worry!