Grad thread: TTC after loss carry on

[Wise0wl]

Hello all,

I just thought I'd set up a grad thread from our TTC threads, now there are quite a few people with their bfps so that we can keep in touch, and there's a forum for those on their TTC journey to check in with us!

I've sifted through the previous threads so think this is a reasonably full list:

*@SnookyPook
*@wyto
*@Aaliyahrae
*@SunSparkle
*@graceinc22
*@Gem0302
*@Bali200
*@Oxalis00
*@GeorgeR28
*@CluelessInLondon
*@HerbaceousPerennial
*@NphysT
*@GoldDustWoman90

I'd love to hear where you all are in your journey. I am approx 4 +2 (so very early!), after two MMCs. Feeling remarkably relaxed as, although I like a plan, I've resigned myself to the fact that there's little I can do to alter the fate of this pregnancy so until later down the line, I just sort of have to roll with it.

@ThelastRolo20 symptoms are so random - they don't make any sense, even just how much they can vary for one person! I'm intrigued to see if the heart has stopped tomorrow as I've been getting progressively more sick all week so that'll be a good case study if there's not even a live pregnancy and I can feel this awful.

@13lucy Both pregnancies have been pretty similar for me - sore boobs and nausea, no sickness. The difference with this one was that I was hit with absolute exhaustion at about 8 weeks, which I never had last time - which would make some sense as the previous pregnancy was always behind where it should have been and would have stopped developing around 7 weeks, so although my symptoms didn't completely disappear until after the surgery it would make sense to me that they didn't develop any further. I think like everyone else has said, it can just be completely random and not many symptoms doesn't necessarily mean bad news, just as having lots of symptoms doesn't automatically mean everything is fine.

I really really hope it's a good outcome for you, but I know you say the odds are stacked against you a bit.

It seems so cruel to still have such strong symptoms if that's the case 💔

@moosey89 how are you? How did the scan go? X

@moosey89 thinking of you 💗

Bad news as expected. Surgery Friday, they're prioritising me so I can get genetic testing done. Good luck to everyone else, can't believe I'm back in this cycle yet again.

@moosey89 I'm so sorry to hear this, even when you know what the outcome is likely to be it's still cruel and unfair. I hope the surgery goes smoothly on Friday and the physical recovery doesn't take too long, and it's good that you're being made a priority for testing - hopefully that will give you some answers and a bit more certainty. Take care of yourself. ❤

@moosey89 I'm so sorry, it's bloody unfair. I really hope genetic testing gets you some answers ❤️ xx

@moosey89 I'm so very sorry 😞 can only echo what the others have said - hope you get some answers and a clear way forward from here. Also hope you have lots of love and support around you over the next few days and that all goes as smoothly as possible for you. Sending a massive hug xxx

@moosey89 so sorry to hear this, it's so so cruel. I hope the surgery goes ok xxx

@SnookyPook @CluelessInLondon @ThelastRolo20 @Bali200 trying to put it all to the back of my mind as it will make the next few weeks unbearable otherwise. Haven't checked my heart rate or HRV today so that's a step in the right direction and going to stick with it. Although I felt really cold last night which made me instantly worry that my BBT has dropped. It's so anxiety provoking from all angles!

I'm thinking of booking a scan on 2nd June which would be 7 weeks exactly (if I go by ovulation date). Or the alternative is to wait until 8 weeks which would be after my sister's hen do. Still trying to work out what to do as there are pros and cons to both!

@moosey89 I am so, so sorry. This is so incredibly unfair and you don’t deserve having to go through this again. I hope surgery goes smoothly, that the testing provides you with some answers, and that you’ve got support around you xx

@13lucy I decided I wanted a scan earlier, I've booked in for 2nd June when I'll be 7 weeks - what did you decide in the end?

I'm still keeping my EPU scan at 8.5 weeks for additional reassurance, or I may need it anyway if things aren't looking good at the first scan!

@ThelastRolo20 I'm thinking of doing the 7 week one just because the following week I'd be going on holiday (only in the UK) so kind of thinking I may as well know then anyway. I'm going to call the place today to see what they advise.

Hey guys, sorry I completely disappeared. We went on holiday and I tried to completely decompress. The anxiety was just increasing and increasing. I had another private scan on Thursday and the baby was measuring 11 weeks and was kicking away, I honestly couldn't believe it. I have my nhs dating scan on Friday.

I hope you're all getting on okay and keeping well 🩷

@Bugdem123 lovely you’re back. And congratulations on your 11 week scan! I totally get what you mean about the anxiety and had to take a break for a bit too. How are you feeling about your dating scan?

@Bugdem123 That's lovely to hear! Hopefully it also means you feel a bit less nervous going into the dating scan as well. How was your holiday?

@Bugdem123 aw that's great! And exciting to be almost at the official dating scan too! Hope you can go in a bit less nervous now. I had one on EPU 4 days before mine due to a bleed and still managed to feel slightly anxious going in but it definitely helped!!

Hope everyone else is ok. Did you get your scan booked in @13lucy ? How are you feeling @ThelastRolo20 ? Not too long to wait now. 💕

@SnookyPook I'm doing okay, I feel a bit like I have imposter syndrome with this pregnancy until the scan on Sunday. I think this is where MMC can be particularly cruel, the fact I'm not bleeding is literally no reassurance to me.

Keep swinging between this one will be alright to I can't imagine it possibly being alright! I honestly think I'm going to be utterly petrified walking into the scan room but I'd rather know early.

How are you getting on? X

@SnookyPook yes booked it in for Sunday as I can't wait any longer! Hoping I get a 'nicer' experience at a private place.

@ThelastRolo20 I totally know what you mean. I'm getting anxious thinking about the scan - trying to tell myself the chances are it will be ok but preparing myself that it might not be. I've only ever had a miscarriage so just feels impossible for things to go right. I check for blood every time I wipe and I'm overly conscious of all my symptoms including whether I feel warm or not! How have you been feeling? Has it been similar to other pregnancies? Sunday can't come soon enough!

@13lucy @ThelastRolo20 feel for you both - I was super nervous before the first few scans every time. As you said Rolo, it's the fact that after MMC you just can't trust your body to let you know what's happening in there. Hopefully good news all round this time though 💗☺️

I'm doing ok thanks - 29wks now! Midwife last Friday was lovely and as reassuring as possible but did say: "in a situation like this, things can change very quickly, so it's probably best to get a basic hospital bag packed" !! So I'm feeling a bit Eeek now and slightly up in the air for next growth scan (Friday) 😂

@13lucy I feel more exhausted than my last two pregnancies which is how I felt with my daughter. My boobs hurt more too but not taking anything for granted. It just makes me so grateful that my first pregnancy was so straight forward and successful, I didn't even have an early scan. How are you feeling this pregnancy?

My appointment is at 11.15 so I'll make sure to update everyone after. My husband is looking after our DD, so I'm going in solo. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I've done solo scans before so I know I'll be alright either way.

@SnookyPook ah baby will be here before you know it ❤️ I'm so happy for you that it's going so well x

@SnookyPook that's so exciting, feels like those weeks have flown! Funny how it feels that way with others but for yourself it feels like a lifetime.

I totally get that feeling of not trusting my body after the MMC. I think they are much more common than the stats say?

@ThelastRolo20 that's good it makes you feel more reassured. My boobs are tender too and have had a bit of tiredness/nausea, although nothing that bad. Think slightly more symptoms than last time. Mine is in the afternoon and not sure how I'm going to pass the time, would much prefer an earlier one! The place I'm going to have separate slots for early scans so hoping it isn't too triggering that way. Sometimes I think I'd rather go on I own as feels more pressure with DH there, don't want to let him down if you know what I mean!

So I've had some brown discharge this morning which I've never had before and some cramps.

So of course jumping to worst case scenario and booked a scan for mid morning 😞 they should be able to see what they need to at 6+3? X

@ThelastRolo20 sorry to hear that, sounds stressful but good that you've got a scan booked in quickly. I hope it goes ok this morning x