Grad thread: TTC after loss carry on

[Wise0wl]

Hello all,

I just thought I'd set up a grad thread from our TTC threads, now there are quite a few people with their bfps so that we can keep in touch, and there's a forum for those on their TTC journey to check in with us!

I've sifted through the previous threads so think this is a reasonably full list:

*@SnookyPook
*@wyto
*@Aaliyahrae
*@SunSparkle
*@graceinc22
*@Gem0302
*@Bali200
*@Oxalis00
*@GeorgeR28
*@CluelessInLondon
*@HerbaceousPerennial
*@NphysT
*@GoldDustWoman90

I'd love to hear where you all are in your journey. I am approx 4 +2 (so very early!), after two MMCs. Feeling remarkably relaxed as, although I like a plan, I've resigned myself to the fact that there's little I can do to alter the fate of this pregnancy so until later down the line, I just sort of have to roll with it.

I stopped running a couple of weeks before I found out I was pregnant due to plantar fascitis 😕 so I'm not running anyway which sucks as it's a proper mental health protection tool for me! I was signed up to an event in early July I think I would have cancelled anyway as it is 50km which might have been putting too much pressure on myself. I'm going to the gym 3 times a week but terrified anything I do could harm the pregnancy (even though science tells me that's not true). It's just so hard to shake the feeling.

Hi all - having a bit of a wobble day today. Been a bit obsessive over checking my heart rate and sore boobs - my heart rate is noticeably lower today (I think it's meant to rise over first trimester) and boobs are less sore so I'm running to conclusions in my head. I did another test today and it's a very dark positive so assuming that's a good sign?

@13lucy sorry you’re having a wobble, it’s hard isn’t it. What did you decide in the end about getting an early scan? I don’t know if it’s any consolation but my symptoms have been really up and down the whole time so far this pregnancy, especially my boobs which have been very sore some days and less so on others. I don’t track heart rate so am not sure about that, but a dark positive and no bleeding is a good sign. I have everything crossed for you

@Wise0wl thank you, I think it's just been the anxiety and uncertainty playing out, especially whilst it's all so new. End up feeling quite panicked by it all!

I woke up like a furnace this morning and my heart rate is actually higher which has been reassuring. Really trying to stop the obsessive tracking though!

I'm going to call EPU next week and see what they say. I'll be 7 weeks the week of my sister's hen do so not sure whether to push it to 8 weeks so it's after that, or do it as early as I can? What do you reckon?

Hope you're doing ok?

@13lucy its a real rollercoaster isn’t it. I suppose with your sister’s hen it depends on whether you want to know beforehand if everything is progressing as it should, or would rather enjoy the hen without the possibility of bad news? I had a scan at EPU at 6+5 and saw a heartbeat so from a timing perspective 7 weeks should be ok. I get that there often feels like no ‘ideal’ situation though with timing of these things and big life events.

I’m doing ok, thanks. It’s been a very long 8 weeks but I’ve got my dating scan next week 🤞

@13lucy I would just call the EPU and see what they advise about an early scan - when I called up about it my hospital just took my LMP date and then they worked out when they wanted to see me based on that, rather than asking me when I wanted to come in (they booked me in for 7+2 for my first scan, then a reassurance scan two weeks later). If it was me I would probably want to know before the hen do so that I could feel a little bit more confident to tell a couple of people, or drop out if things aren't going so well and a bit of space is needed - that's kind of a personal preference thing though. I was going to visit my parents for the weekend on the day of my first scan and it was nice to have the scan first so I could let them know I was pregnant again (although if I hadn't told them then the lack of drinking would have been a complete giveaway!) and that things looked okay so far.

@Wise0wl @CluelessInLondon thank you - I suppose if I call EPU then it might take the decision out of my hands a bit. Just feels like a big step in doing that at the moment.

Have you got some nice plans for the weekend?

Morning all. Just need to vent today. My resting heart rate has dropped quite suddenly over night and my boobs are feeling less sore/full so I'm petrified of another miscarriage and still have so long to wait until I can get a scan. I can't feel anything 'down there' anymore whereas a few days ago felt like there was, maybe just more blood flow going there. Not sure whether this is a bad sign or me just overthinking. Not sure if I should be feeling anything at this stage or if there's anything I can do for reassurance.

@13lucy I would imagine heart rate would continue to fluctuate, as do symptoms ❤️

Sorry, I haven't been on the thread for a bit - how many weeks are you again? Have you got a scan booked with EPU? X

@ThelastRolo20 5 weeks today so planning to ring EPU tomorrow to get booked in. With my last pregnancy that ended in miscarriage my heart rate dropped and boobs got less full/sore so I'm worried it's the same thing playing out. Really playing on my mind today.

I'm also 5 weeks today and not very overly optimistic. I have a scan on 13th June so quite a long wait! I hope they can squeeze you in soon for some reassurance xx

@ThelastRolo20 thank you, it messes with my mind so much and I don't feel pregnant. Maybe feel a bit of nausea but that might just be the anxiety.

That's crazy we are both on the same timeframe. I had a long cycle but if I take 2 weeks off from ovulation day then that makes me 5 weeks today.

I'm just trying not to think about the pregnancy too much, I can't really do anything at this point anyway - it'll either be okay or it won't be!

I'm just 5 weeks from my lmp, but I think I ovulated early so all being well my due date would likely come forward a day or two (it's currently 19th Jan)

@ThelastRolo20 5th April was the start of my last period but I didn't ovulate until 28th so my current due date is about 20th Jan.

Sounds like a good way to think of it, easier said than done though! Do you have any symptoms at all? I'm not sure whether you're meant to feel pregnant or not!

Ah okay, yeah my period started on 14th but ovulated around 28th too 🙂

Only sore boobs and being more thirsty and tired. No nausea (never had it in any pregnancy) so I don't really feel pregnant 🤷🏻‍♀️ hopefully I have a good scan on 13th June and I can allow a little bit of hope then, although in my.first MC baby passed at around 10 weeks so it won't reassure me entirely.

Having a successful 12 week scan feels like a mountain to climb. Have you told anyone about your pregnancy? Only my husband knows at the moment, we haven't told anyone else x

@ThelastRolo20 hopefully it's good news this time. Does feel a lifetime away though when you have to wait. Last time the baby stopped growing about 5/6 weeks but I was at 9 weeks when I find out. So just getting a heart beat would be a big thing for us. 12 weeks is a mountain like you said!

We've told my husbands parents and sister, mainly because I had to get out of her hen do! I struggled hearing him tell them as they both said how amazing it'll be to have a baby at the wedding, which I don't want to think about. Just more pressure if it doesn't work out. Are you going to wait before telling anyone?

I don't think you're really "meant" to feel anything in particular - if it helps, I had hardly any symptoms at 5 weeks. My boobs were a bit sensitive and I had some lower back pain but that was basically it - it was more like 6 weeks when anything more noticeable kicked in, and even then I was never sick, just nauseous (I got so fed up after we told people about the pregnancy of people asking me how unwell I was in the first trimester, it makes you feel like a fraud when you say you were mostly fine!). I know that there's some reassurance in "feeling" pregnant, but definitely don't assume something must be wrong because you don't feel that much, it's definitely different for everyone.

Thank you @CluelessInLondon I think it's a combination of not feeling pregnant, my resting heart rate dropping and change in my boob tenderness that is worrying me. Not much I can do until a scan I guess. I was really good/positive a few days ago but feels like something has changed! Thank you for the reassurance about symptoms.

@13lucy @ThelastRolo20 don't worry about not feeling symptoms - I didn't have any until about 5 1/2 weeks and since then the nausea has been horrific and last couple of days I've been throwing up, and this is in a pregnancy that I expect to be told at my scan this week has ended! Strength of symptoms doesn't correlate to a successful pregnancy, but I totally get the desire to "feel" pregnant for reassurance. I felt the same and now would love to get rid of the sickness, seems extra cruel to be so ill when nothing will come of it.

Thank you ❤️ I'm not too worried by lack of symptoms, my pregnancy was the same with my daughter.

It does make it easier to temporarily ignore the pregnancy until after 13th June so there is that!

When's your scan? I really hope there's a miracle waiting for you x

@moosey89 that sounds so horrible for you, especially with being in limbo. Pregnancy can be so cruel! It's the waiting and not knowing that it's so hard to deal with.

@ThelastRolo20 being able to almost pretend it's not happening sounds like bliss! I hope the 13th comes around quickly for you and that it's all good news, you deserve it.

Scan is wednesday, 8.30am (went for as early as possible to get it over and done with). There's a tiny tiny part of me that still has hope for a miracle but the logical brain in me knows that the heart rate was so slow it's just a waiting game unfortunately x

@moosey89 early scans are definitely better, I'll be thinking of you x

@13lucy I don't think we're going to tell anyone until after 12 weeks, but it's not a hard and fast rule so just going to take each day as it comes 😊 have you managed to call EPU for a scan?

@ThelastRolo20 & @13lucy these early weeks drag, don’t they! I hope EPU can see you @13lucy

@moosey89 I have everything crossed for you and will be thinking of you on Wednesday 🤞

I have my dating scan this afternoon and I feel like I’m going to throw up I feel so nervous and can’t focus on any work this morning either. I know I only had a scan last week but the relief they provide is so temporary isn’t it.

@Wise0wl Can't believe you're at the dating scan already - seems like that's flown by although I'm sure it doesn't feel like that to you! I don't think the nervousness before scans ever goes away, but at least you've had the reassurance of some earlier scans and seeing how things are progressing - I definitely found that knowing things were okay at certain points in the pregnancy helped to manage some of that pre-scan anxiety. Good luck for this afternoon. ❤