Due September - Thread 5! 🐣❤️🧡💛

[Lillers]

New thread! Can’t believe we’re on 5 already.

@WinsandSam I’m 95% sure I want an elective c-section. Bit worried about the recovery but at least this is my first, so I won’t need to chase after a toddler in the weeks after my section. Hopefully with a lot of rest and DH doing a lot of the baby work, it will be fine.

@Cinai yes it's my first too! My partner will have a month off work so will be supported. I've always said it's the option I'd take.

I read somewhere about how high the percentage is of having a c-section even if you chose a vaginal birth.. kind of made my decision for me. Plus my mum was in labour for 36hrs and then emergency c-section with me!

I was very nervous about birth after a previous gynae surgery and straight away my widwife at the booking appointment said ‘you can have an elective c-section if you like. That’s absolutely an option’ and offered to refer me to a consultant to discuss it all. I’ve got that appointment at 16 weeks, and i am also 95% sure it’s the route I want to take.

I live 40 minutes from my nearest hospital and the thought of that journey in labour terrifies me. Also the thought of being turned away or sent home when I get there and having to come back! I’m due on the statistically most popular day of the year to give birth too 🙃

@WinsandSam DP used to work for the police and was often infuriated by the media misreporting statistics like that. Even in the guardian and times etc. So misleading!

I had a c-section last time in not my local hospital was an hour and a half away and this time I am hoping to be at my local hospital which is literally 10 minutes away :) my midwife asked if I would have an elective c section this time but I’m really hoping this time for a vbac so I don’t have to spend 6 weeks not being able to lift up my little girl ,realise I will just have to see what happens. Fingers crossed this time I will make it to term 🤞🏻

is anyone else starting to get like back and hip pain already? I don’t remember it at all last time and I’m only 17 weeks

@RosiePH absolutely go with the c section if that’s what you want but I can try and ease the worries a tad for you. Only a very small amount of women labour quickly and it’s even less common in first pregnancies. It often takes all day or longer in fact to get fully dilated. So a 40 min drive isn’t actually long in comparison. Also I live similar distance to the hospital and I went in at 3cm and usually they admit at 4cm however they didn’t send me home as they said it was pointless for such a distance. So they will consider this for you. The consultant will give you all the pros and cons for you to decide anyway.

Regarding the elective. Last time I was meant to be an elective due to previous 3rd degree tears. However my baby decided she wasnt waiting for that and literally 2 hours before I was due at the hospital for the elective I woke with a contraction. Hospital said its fine come in we will go straight for csection. But no I got there and she was born in the assessment bay 10 minutes after arriving at the hospital. So even if we make a plan for an elective these babies can change that. Xx

After DD traumatic birth last time I’ve decided this time not to have a birth plan and just roll with it. Ideally I’d love a vbac , and at least feel a contraction (sure I’ll regret that when it comes 😂) but I just felt so robbed of it last time.
But yeah babies come the way they want to come, no matter how much planning goes behind it.

Thanks all for replies about my concerns around my toddler and slapped cheek syndrome at his nursery. I called my midwife (local), antenatal clinic at hospital (out of my area) and my GP. By the end of the day the antenatal clinic was testing my booking bloods to see if I've had it in the past. I also requested a blood test from GP to see if I have it now as I have a sore throat and even mild symptoms can present when an infection can hurt the baby. It's all scary but I'm feeling calmer. I know the risk is low overall but I do take an immunosuppressive medicine for Crohns disease so I'm at higher risk for catching it if not previously had it. Sometimes I wonder if nursery is worth it for the amount and range of illnesses we get but having an adult working life has been really good for my mental health.

On the topic of c sections, I had an EMCS last time and will be having an elective this time. Just making plans for extra help and I think my older boy will understand to a certain level if can't pick him up and need to sit and cuddle him instead. He'll be 3 then and I plan to be careful. My only real concern is that all the bedrooms are upstairs...

Glad you are in good hands getting sorted now @WolfMother326

I finally announced to my brother and his wife tonight for them to admit they have known for several weeks as the midwife has referred me to my brothers anaesthetist clinic for review as I am allergic to pain relief 😫 I specifically asked if they could hold back a few weeks before referring me as I won't see them until 30 weeks anyway but no such luck!

I’ve thought about Cessrian VS vaginal delivery and my cons for each are quite even
Cesarian:

• difficult recovery, can have pain at the scar area for a long time (even years)
• risk of infection in the wound
• cant drive, pick up heavier stuff
• my partner is definitely not going to do all the shopping, cooking and cleaning if I have to lay at home for like 2 weeks to recover and I have no help unless I hire some
• leaves a scar
• risk of blood clots
• not Safe to exercise for like 6 months after

vaginal delivery:

• risk of lifelong trauma and post birth depression
• can end up with tears that ruin my anus, my bladder, other important bits
• of I end up with tears or cuts it might mean no intimacy for months
• the whole childbirth experience remains entirely unpredictable
• might end up with C section after failed to progress
• they might leave me labour at home alone due to no space
• partner said he doesn’t want to be in the room for when I begind to have childbirth, what if it goes really wrong and so have no support for hours in there

so many questions I genuinely do not know what to do. My spouse is in favour of C section but I don’t think he is ready for the long recovery…

Just to offer a positive story for the first time mums, I am a total wimp with pain, the only word on my birth plan was "epidural" ( literally) as I knew I wouldn't cope. Long story short, I arrived at the hospital after a bleed and what I thought was Brixton hicks( super scary but turned out to be " a bloody show" and all totally normal) I was already 5cm! 3 hours later with NO PAIN RELEIF WHATSOEVER my daughter was born naturally! Obviously each birth is different but I had truelly built up all these horror stories in my head about the pain of X amount of bones breaking, and although pushing her out was obviously very painful, and I did tear, the whole thing was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be and I was home just a few hours later!

I hope this helps :)

Has anyone not received their 20 week scan date yet? I'm almost 17 weeks and my midwife said if I don't receive it by Friday I need to chase it up...

Thank you for sharing a positive story @ForeverHopeful67 I was thinking about actively looking into positive birth stories to get out of my ‘this will be a near-death experience that will traumatise me for life’ mindset. I’m also terrified of the c-section I’m planning because I’m really a wimp.

@ForeverHopeful67 sharing my birth wasn't intending to not come across as positive or to scare anyone. My second birth was absolutely a positive experience and actually massively healing mentally. I was simply saying even when you mind gets set on an elective baby can decide otherwise and that can absolutely still work out amazingly too.

@ForeverHopeful67 I was 17 weeks yesterday and the scan date for 20 weeks only came through then

I'm having twin girls 💕 my husband has been saying all along he'll end up in a house full of girls!
I had such strong feeling my 1st was a boy, we didn't find out and it was lovely being told at the birth/how wrong I was. Now I can start washing all her clothes that are stored up in the attic 😂

I’m just over 14 weeks now and feel as though I’m in a strange limbo, anyone else? I find it incredible that I have a living, moving being that is six inches long inside of me, and yet I can’t feel it and I don’t really have any symptoms from it these days (apart from crushing tiredness/exhaustion).

I would be tempted to go for a private scan but we are going on a long-haul holiday over Easter, and if I got bad news at the scan I’d probably have to cancel this holiday that we’ve been looking forward to for years. So a bit of me thinks, ‘better to be oblivious.’

Anyone else also 14 weeks and in this weird in between stage?

@Decaffe yes this was how I felt when I hit 14 weeks! However, 3 days later I suddenly started to feel very pregnant. Belly growing, stretching pains, lower back pain, exhaustion and even a little butterfly feeling in my belly. I find myself constantly either complaining about symptoms or worrying that I’m not feeling pregnant 🤣 I’m 15+1 today, you might feel something again soon.

@Cinai I did this with my first! I love a crime podcast lol but instead I switched to listening to positive birth stories whilst I walked the dog/was doing DIY at home. It really helped to get myself into a positive mind set before the birth. I told everyone that had had children recently that I politely didn’t want to hear their negative stories, until after at least, just to get myself in the right head space prior to giving birth!

I’m 16 weeks tomorrow and really suffering from headaches the past week, anyone else? Not a full blown headache, more the start of one but I can’t seem to shift it! I’m trying to stay hydrated and trying to eat as well as I can.. but man the headaches 🥲

@MrsM89 no of course not! It's always good to hear everyone's stories, the good the bad and the ugly - helps to set expectations! Sorry I didn't mean any harm from this 😊 was more so sharing my positive experience as I know I was desperate for these when I was pregnant the first time as was so scared as most of the stories you read online are horror stories.

That being said now I've had one quick straight forward labour watch this next one be horrific 🤦‍♀️😅

Had my repeat 12 week scan today! Back to being due in September after some issues with getting measurements last week.

They wouldn’t do the combined screening though as I had a private NIPT they were aware of. I asked about Papp-a and was told that’s not the intention of combined testing so they wouldn’t check that on its own, as reduced growth will show on scans and present in other ways later down the line. Feeling a lot better than I did last week!

They advised against the combined screening for me because it might have produced a false positive and that would cause a lot of stress and just result in a repeat NIPT.

Hey @HRP1990 welcome to the headache club 👋🏼😭 I haven't got much advice unfortunately. I feel like I've had one constantly for over a week. Varying in severity, but impossible to shift, despite staying hydrated!

I just said this to my partner - I’ve literally woken up with one every day for the past week? I just got back from a Pilates class and FYI endorphins don’t do anything for headaches lol 🙃