Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

Thanks ladies. Strangely my one symptom of sore boobs has gone now. So I don’t know what to think even more

It may just be one of those days where symptoms have gone, it will come back, your baby girl will be okay for sure! I have all my fingers (and toes) crossed for you, you'll see your baby girl on the screen today and everything will be perfect. Sending you so much love at this time, please let us know if theres anything we can do to further support you x

Sending my thoughts to you today @Nic2908 i had sore boobs the whole time, and posted on here earlier this week that they had stopped hurting. But they hurt again now! So hopefully it’s just a symptom that comes & goes

@Nic2908 also thinking of you today lovely x

urghhh. I can feel a tight pain in my right side getting some lower back pain. I was 5w2d when I presented at EPAU last time with severe pain/bleeding (was ectopic) and I’m 5w4d today so starting to panic abit 😩

@Nic2908 everything crossed for you today 🤍

Thinking of you @Nic2908
I hope the hospital take good care of you today ❤️

@Hopingrae im so happy for you that's amazing news, going for the scan was the right thing to do after all. Are you waiting until your 12 week scan now?

@Nic2908 im so sorry to hear this, how can life be so cruel and unfair, thinking of you.

I really struggle to keep up with the thread, I'm so anxious at the moment so trying to have time away from mumsnet but when I could back so much has happened I can't keep up with it all. Congratulations to those of you who have had scans and gotten good news so lovely.

I keep dreaming I'm bleeding which is really distressing me I have to run to the loo to check when I wake. I'm 6 weeks +1 now, I'm not sure when to contact the midwife. Last time I had my booking appointment at 9+6 then miscarried a few days later. So I don't really know what to do. I'm just constantly anxious at the moment.

@Bey I am right there with you.
I am a wreck 90% of the day. Like cramps or not feeling as sick as I did the day before or just anything really sets me off.
struggling to snap myself out of the low anxious periods.
trying to take it one day at a time but easier said then done!
I do think breaks from social media, Mumnet etc is healthy and even if you can’t / don’t keep up to date with the thread we are all here for you ❤️

Oh @Nic2908 I am so so sorry you are going through this. We had a very high NT of 8mm with a cystic hygroma at our 12 week scan back in September and I was convinced this was Turners Syndrome although the NIPT came back high risk for T18, Edwards Syndrome.

I absolutely know the feeling of your world just falling apart from the news.

If you have any questions please ask. I ended up having a termination two weeks later at 14 weeks. It was so so heartbreaking but the raw pain did ease with time.

I am now 7 weeks pregnant with our rainbow, and gearing up for all the testing all over again x

Thank you @30somethingttc sorry you are struggling with anxiety too. My only symptom is feeling sickly constantly. I associate feeling sickly with feeling anxious so I just feel awful all the time.

@bey hi lovely, do what you need to do for your well being. It's hard keeping up with threads, and it's obviously totally fine to dip in and out as and when you feel it might be helpful. Don't pressure yourself to have to catch up with everything either, it doesn't matter.

I'm totally with you re associating nausea and anxiety. I find that very hard to manage. I said it to someone recently and they didn't get it at all, so in a strange way it's nice to here you say you get it too. Do you have people you can talk to?

Would you consider early scan or are you still not sure? I understand your reservations. I think we definitely associate what happened last time with the next pregnancy and that can be hard to shake off. Sending a hand hold x

@Hopingrae just my husband as no one else knows I'm pregnant yet. I hate the constant sickly /anxiety feeling I just feel like I'm constantly on edge and can't relax at all. Nothing seems to help.

I'm undecided about any early scans, I think we might just wait for our 12 week scan. I lost our last baby at 10.5 weeks so even if I had a scan I know it wouldn't put my mind at rest I don't think I'll feel relaxed about this pregnancy until I've had the baby!

@Bey and @30somethingttc I totally agree that breaks from social media, MN and especially google can definitely be a good thing.

I don't think the anxiety for any of us will ever go away. I totally understand not wanting to get scans etc until certain dates or "milestones" have passed, what I would say for me is that I had no intention of going back to epau or booking a private one but once my consultant discovered I had cramping she insisted I go in. It's overwhelming and upsetting just walking in the doors but honestly I'm glad I did. For me I think that whilst the stress of a scan is immense the stress of "not knowing" would be worse but again it's a personal choice so you do what you think is best xx

@Sez281 i would certainly go for a scan if I had any pain or bleeding, but private scans are expensive and to have one now or in a couple of weeks I do t think would reassure me for long, I think I'd need to have one every week to keep my anxiety at bay.

@Bey 100% agree that the "reassurance" only lasts so long. (I'm counting the days till my next one on Monday 😣) It's great that you can acknowledge that and it sounds like you have a clear plan in place. There's no point putting yourself through it if you don't have to 🙏

Under my consultant (if we make it that far) then I'll be having a 16 week scan and nothing until 20 weeks. I've already planned a holiday during those 4 weeks as a distraction!

Hope your scan goes really well on Monday, a holiday in between will be the perfect distraction.

Hi ladies. Bit of a heartbreaking post from me. Baby had no heartbeat at our 12 week scan today. I’m booked in for surgical management on Monday. Thank you so much for all your kind words and support. You are all wonderful and I really wish you all the luck with your pregnancies.

I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss @Nic2908 thats absolutely devastating. Sending you so much love, take care of yourself

Oh @Nic2908 I'm so truly sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you're feeling having to go through this again 😢. I've no doubt that you have lots of support in real life but please reach out here if you need anybody else to talk to xx

I’m so incredibly sorry @Nic2908 what devastating news. Sending love x

@Nic2908 my heart is broken for you. How utterly devastating, words seem so small somehow to convey the strength of feeling in what has actually happened. I hope you and your OH have good people around you to help hold your hearts at this very difficult time. Sending you so much love xxx

@Nic2908 I’m so so so sorry. Sending you big hugs & I hope you’re being well taken care of. Xx

@Nic2908 i am so so so sorry for your loss. Sending you and your partner so much love xxxxx

@Nic2908 oh nic my love! Im so so sorry, you dont deserve this at all.
Theres definitely no words that can make everything better, i just hope you can het as much support as possible
Sending so many MN hugs, and so much love you're way, again im really sorry for your loss💐 ❤️