Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

@BreezyLemonHelper aw that's great that there has been progress and now a little heart beating away. Glad your experience of EPU has been so positive. Can't fault mine either. And haha I feel like I have enough scan pics for a whole album for this little man before he's even born!! Sounds like you'll be on track for similar!

@Mamaxo that is a crazy long wait! 😲 As Breezy said, are you not UK based? If you are I'd push back and ask what you do about screening etc..?!

@SnookyPook @BreezyLemonHelper i am uk based, im in south wales, ill have a 12 week scan but no appointment after my 12 week scan, and i wont actually see a midwife till im 16 weeks, ive had two previous miscarriages and it took me a while to conceive this baby (pcos) so not feeling very reassured lol x

@SnookyPook thank you, and I do feel a temporary high from the scan now actually. And yes, if things continue I think I'll be similar!

Oh I'm sorry @Mamaxothat sounds rubbish! Especially after your miscarriages and difficult journey to get pregnant. I wonder if you were able to get in touch directly if the midwife team would see you earlier, given your history? But assuming not based on what you've said, I guess that's me wishful thinking, as that sounds really unfair for you.

@BreezyLemonHelper massive congrats on your positive scan, and sorry you've been in limbo before then :( I had a scan at 6+6 - a week ago. The reassurance def wore off, and this week has dragged so much. I also have a whole other week til my next scan. At this point I feel like I'm so close to feeling like this is real, but so aware the last time I saw my baby was 6+6 and anything could have happened by then.. but I'm so glad you saw a heartbeat, that's such good news xx

I called in sick again today. Tmi but I've had such bad diarrhoea, truly horrendous. I don't know if this is how my body copes with hormones? Last time it was literally the opposite problem.

My food aversions are stepping up, I feel constantly nauseous and unable to put really anything in my mouth. Fruit is about it. I wonder if the amount of fruit and water I'm drinking is contributing to my downstairs issues! I would take comfort in the nausea but I know from this thread it doesn't necessarily mean anything.

No more spotting after yesterday. Since it was clearly old blood I wonder if it could be from my vaginal ultrasound 6 days before? It did hurt when he did it... I've been avoiding sex cos last pregnancy it made me bleed every time and it wasn't worth the stress....

I can't believe I'm wishing for this but... for those of you who passed the first trimester when did the nausea stop? I'm 8 weeks tomorrow xx

My dr just phoned and said I can stop taking metformin but said there's some evidence that it can help women with pcos prevent miscarriage I said I've had two previous mc and took a while to get pregnant she then said I can keep taking them 🙃 but she kept saying google says google says, I'm already worried and my doctor is rubbish lol. Anyone else take metformin (pcos) through there pregnancy?

@Mamaxo yes I took it all the way through my pregnancy with DS who’s now 6. Like you, I have PCOS and has recurrent MC so I was on metformin and aspirin, apparently they work really well together for PCOS. Anyway, my fertility dr told me to stay on it all the way though at the same dose which was 1500mg per day. I stayed on it after he was born, all the way up to going back on the pill again when he was approx 6 months old. He was born at 41 weeks and weighed almost 8lb, so he was definitely fine and I breastfed for 6 months on it too with no issues x

@Jellybelly888 thank you I'm gonna keep taking it xx

Hey guys. Baby had a heartbeat at viability scan yesterday which was reassuring. However ive just started bleeding this afternoon (will include a pic). Didn’t even have bleeding with our previous loss so it’s sending me into an anxious panic!

Anyone else had bleeding early on & going ok so far?

me & my husband did have a bit of external fun yesterday afternoon & I had an orgasm, there was no penetration of any kind though so nothing to do with my cervix, could it be related to the orgasm?!

aaahhh

@aimeeeleanor sorry that you have bleeding, it’s always so worrying when you see it. How many weeks are you? I had bleeding at 7wks & no cause could be found for it. It’s very reassuring you saw a heartbeat yesterday. Perhaps see how it is over the rest of the weekend & then call EPU if still worried next week?

@aimeeeleanor I had very similar bleeding last Monday and Tuesday, and a scan that showed everything looking ok on Wednesday with no cause found for the bleeding. How far along are you? I’d check in with your EPU on Monday and see what they say. I know it’s worrying and I’m really sorry you’re going through this.

Am I able to join you all?

Found out im pregnant again on Thursday. We’ve got two live children but had three miscarriages all around the 12 week mark. This pregnancy was a bit of a surprise, we’d decided not to try anymore because of the emotional toll the losses were taking on me.

I’m obsessively testing to watch line progression and desperate for a scan soon to see what’s happening, although I know it doesn’t guarantee anything

Hello all,

I’ve got a 9 week scan on Wednesday (very excited but also terrified!) at hospital. Has anyone else had one at this point and is it internal or external?

thanks!

@IDontDrinkTea welcome! Of course you can join! I'm also pregnant with a bit of a surprise following 3 consecutive losses. We'd stopped tracking and wanted a break while we waited for a referral to the fertility consultant and then somehow this happened! I'll be 25wks tomorrow so it is definitely possible for things to go better on 4th time lucky!! Keeping everything crossed for you and so sorry for your previous losses. Really tough to have lost 3 so close to the end of first trimester too. Hopefully this one is your rainbow baby 🙏🏼🌈💕

@TamsynR all of my scans this pregnancy have been abdominal, including the first one at 7+2. Was surprised at that! Baby was measuring 6+2 with a heartbeat and they didn't struggle with it being abdominal. For 9 wks you should deffo be abdominal I'd have thought. Best of luck. Those pre-scan nerves are horrible. 💗

Does anyone take aspirin in pregnancy after a loss?

@OnNaturesCourse I'm on it but due to familial risk of pre-eclampsia. Started at 12wks. I know of a few people who've been put on it after recurring losses though (particularly if anti phospholipid syndrome / sticky blood has been raised as a possible cause).

I'm on it for recurrent losses - I tested weak positive for antiphospholipid twice and also take a daily blood thinning injection. First pregnancy using these was an early loss but currently at 12wks with this one...dating scan today! 🙏

@Traitors2024 good luck with your scan today. I also have my 12wk scan tomorrow & I’m getting very nervous

@MOGMOGMOG85 sorry for the delayed reply but thank you, seeing the heartbeat is definitely a good first milestone isn't it. Time feels like it's going incredibly slow, I'm still so early but it feels like I've been pregnant for ages now, and I know the wait for a scan feels so long. Hopefully you can find some distractions to help the time pass more bearably. That's what I'm trying.

And the diarrheah must be rubbish, I hope it has eased for you by now. I have the opposite but also very nauseous. Our bodies really are going through so much.

@IDontDrinkTea that's big news for you. Will you be under any special care/treatment because of your precious losses? Hope you don't have too long to wait until your scan.

@TamsynR I understand the mix of excitement and fear before a scan. I haven't had a scan at nine weeks, only earlier ones for me. Is it your first scan? Not too long to wait now.

@Traitors2024 good luck for your scan today and @Figtree11 for tomorrow. The 12 week scan seems like quite a significant milestone. Hope you don't have to wait too long now

Good luck for the scans this week @Traitors2024 @Figtree11 and anyone else with upcoming appointments!

Thanks @SnookyPook .
@BreezyLemonHelper its my first scan . They offered one for last week but I’ve got some quite important exams today and tomorrow so didn’t really want to hear bad news (if it is that) before my exam so managed to delay it.

Nothing’s happened to make me feel like it’ll be bad news, but I think after losing a pregnancy you can never take anything for granted. A friend told me she was pregnant yesterday (8 weeks) and it just made me think how little I took for granted the lack of fear of losing a pregnancy before it happened to me.

Hoping everyone’s doing well this week. I’m very glad to have this group!

Morning all.

Thanks for getting back to me about the aspirin. I have spoken to a midwife and she has said I won't need to take it until 12 weeks. Also mentioned progesterone but I have been told its not on their guidelines, I pushed and she has said she'll speak to consultant whose care I was under during my loss.

I'm feeling really, really low today. My DH broke down last night and has admitted he doesn't think he can see me go through another pregnancy and loss, or witness a sleeping birth and the medical issues I had after. Tbf he did nearly lose me as well as our baby last July. He's struggling, as am I but in a slightly different way. We cant decide and settle on a decision with what to do with the pregnancy. (I am speaking with midwifes, taking my vitamins etc in case we do decide to go ahead... Maybe in hope, I don't know)

I am also beginning to feel so nauseated, and the heartburn is killing me already at 6 weeks. I didn't have this in the pregnancies with my earthside babies but I did in the one I lost at 16 weeks so I am so worried that all these supposed pregnancy symptoms are actually my body rejecting the baby or something. Hard to explain.

I don't want to eat - everything leaves me in suck discomfort. I am managing to drink so midwife not concerned.

I'm just so tired and done in already.

I have reached our to held in our hearts for support so waiting to hear back.

Sorry to lower the mood but I need to vent.

So sorry to hear you're both feeling so low. I can only imagine a second trimester loss is devastating and has a long lasting impact. I hope you both get some good support and reassurances to see you through.

Were you tested for blood clotting disorders after your loss? I had a healthy baby before my 4 losses so don't fully believe blood thinners are making the difference but equally wouldn't want to come off them just in case. I started them on positive test but guidlines are after a viability scan.

Hey.

Yes, I was tested. I remember because the test came back borderline so I had to be retested... And all was OK.

I've had an amazing experience with the midwives I've spoken to today. Off their own backs they have spoken with my consultant and got me back under her care, and spoken with her about progesterone for me. My consultant agreed and they have all arranged for me to be seen by EPU next week in order to be scanned and started on progesterone (consultant said its a good idea because I bled so badly after my loss... Didn't know that could be a reason or effect...)

They are aware I'm not sure if we'll continue the pregnancy but understand I want to take all recommendations in case we do go ahead.

I've been offered therapy by held in our hearts but will take a few days to organise, and my DH can come too.

I feel more confident with the care I will get now, and the monitoring... And I hope my DH can take comfort from that too.

@OnNaturesCourse that sounds really positive and I'm so glad they are looking after you so well, and also that you and your DH can access therapy through that charity. I think everything you are both feeling is so understandable after what was obviously a very traumatic experience last year. It must be so hard to separate that out from any hopes or dreams of another baby. I hope that all the support you are getting helps you to make a decision you are both comfortable with going forwards. I suppose it is important to put your experience in context of how rare it is - and I know it doesn't help when you were the ones going through it in the first place, but I would imagine the odds of going through a second experience like that would be really miniscule - particularly with such good care from the get-go with a new pregnancy. Ultimately, if you do go ahead with this pregnancy, it may even be quite healing for you both. However, that is further down the line. For now, focus on the support you are being given, and take time to think it all through. I really hope you will get clarity and peace with what to do about whatever comes next. Xxx