Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

Hi @Hopingrae so sorry for the stress this is causing. Its hard isn't it cos down syndrome people can obviously be so wonderful, even more so than most people without downs I'd say! And yeah I don't think I'd want or be comfortable to terminate either. I'd have to discuss with my partner though who is more nervous of this from the point of view of signing on for even more of a lifetime of care.. it's a really ethically fraught subject but you're def allowed to have negative feelings and definitely definitely allowed to choose what happens with your pregnancy no matter what - I'm very pro that. Trying not to come off too opinionated here cos it's you who are facing this now and not me if that makes sense so it's not my place to judge. Sounds like you've opted to protect pregnancy at all costs which is great. Are you gonna get nipt on nhs now?

I may be missing into but why would anyone choose the more invasive test, is it more accurate?

Sending positive thoughts your way and sorry you're having to deal with another difficult set of outcomes xxx

@Hopingrae what a difficult thing to have because obviously 1 in 28 is still very low chances, but high enough that it really might happen, so you don't know what to prepare for! How quickly can you find out results and do they give you 99+% certainty? Xx

@Wise0wl thanks lovely. They said results are usually back in 5-10 working days but expect nearer 5. The MW said as my NIPT is a PM appt the tests wouldn't get sent until tomorrow, so hopefully I will hear by the end of next week. They got back to me very quickly with screening result so hopefully we're not waiting too long.
@MOGMOGMOG85 its confusing with all the different test names and types isn't it. The invasive test is a diagnostic test, so 100% accurate, where they pass a needle through my tummy into amniotic fluid around baby and take a sample of fluid. There is a risk of miscarriage, however it is quite small. The NIPT is a screening blood test from me (so a needle in my arm) that picks out fetal DNA, but is considered 99% accurate. I've opted for this as I didn't want the miscarriage risk, however small. I could go on to have the diagnostic test after NIPT results come back, but I think I'll probably just stick with NIPT.

Its feeling very tough, because I was feeling like I've just come out the other side of the first trimester and got through the scans. Another hurdle to go through. The MW said in percentage terms it's a 3.5% chance of baby having DS and 96.5% of baby not having DS. But having had 3 miscarriages and been on the wrong side of pregnancy statistics before, this doesn't bring much comfort. Baby will either have DS or it won't.

@Hopingrae I’m sorry what an emotional time for you. I’m glad you are being given the NIPT and hope that your results come back soon and are reassuring xx

I had terrible one sided pain in the night which I’m sure is PGP but after speaking with my midwife she’s booked me in for a scan just in case. She’s told them I’ve had some spotting and basically asked me to tell them that ( I haven’t!) but am grateful for her help. I’m barely able to move much. Terrified of the scan as I’ll need to go alone and haven’t had a scan yet this pregnancy (about 9+2) as last time the MMC scans were so traumatic.

Thinking of you honey! Im still on the thread just kinda ghosting😅
Hopefully baby doesnt have DS, but even if baby does have DS it doesnt matter. Baby will still be absolutely beautiful.

Me and my partner have both said he would be happy even if our baby had DS!!

We're on our trying game again😅 but not actively trying if that makes any sense!!

We havent been careful since the mc, i did the routine fmu test this morning after the hospital advised waiting 3 weeks, it come back negative which i felt a little down about, but its all good😊

Hope everyone is getting on okay!!!! Can see some very kind children coming into 2025 from this thread if theyre all like their mommas! X

@CurlyWurly1991 good luck for your scan, is it today? I have found every person at EPU incredibly kind and understanding of the trauma of repeatedly going back to the place where I’ve had bad news; I hope you have the same kindness!

@Hopingrae oh bless you - gosh how timely was my post about the Mum with DS baby?! If it comes to it, I'm sure she'd be very happy to be put in touch. There was also a great charity she mentioned around the time they got the news that helped her with thinking it all through - I'll try and find the link if you think it would be helpful. It is such a delicate thing isn't it as just more to think through etc. I'm like you, I don't think I could have ended the pregnancy, although not completely sure DH would have been on the same page. Similar to @MOGMOGMOG85 though, I'm conscious this is you facing this news and making decisions so please don't take any of what I'm saying as any kind of judgement or whatever.

Sounds like the odds of no DS still far outweigh, but as you say, that becomes a bit less meaningful when you've been on the wrong side of statistics before. I'm glad they've sorted the NIPT for you asap and hopefully you'll get the results back quickly so you're not in limbo for too long.

We've been offered amnio for ours due to the SGA stuff but they won't do it now anyway as the gestation we've got to there is a risk of preterm labour starting. I've always felt I couldn't do it though - moreso since having the MCs. There is still a chance of genetic causes for our little man being small though which has made me think about stuff a bit differently.

@CurlyWurly1991 sorry you've been in pain. That's so sweet of your midwife to wangle a scan!! Appreciate how nerve-wracking it must be for you though. Especially if going alone. Hoping you get to have a healing experience this time round. 💗

@LER2023 great to hear from you and glad you're doing ok. Totally get the bitter-sweetness of that negative test. You know it has to happen but it's so final isn't it. But onwards now 🙏🏼🌈💕

@Hopingrae
thinking of you and your partner over the next week or so waiting for these results.
I hope whatever the outcome you get the clarity you both need ❤️❤️❤️
So sorry you are facing this hurdle xx

Thanks for all your lovely comments and support ladies. I'll let you know how we get on x

Unfortunately it wasn’t good news at my scan - no heartbeat and baby measuring around 8 weeks (should be 9+2). Going to step away for a bit, pretty sure this time that we won’t TTC any more after this being a second MMC in a row. Very sad and it wasn’t expected as I had symptoms throughout.

Oh @CurlyWurly1991 i am so so sorry. Sending you lots of love. Life is just so cruel sometimes.

Sending love to you too @Hopingrae and that you get results back soon

@CurlyWurly1991 I'm so very sorry, this is so cruel. Sending you love and strength. I hope you have good people around you to support you through this xxx

So sorry @CurlyWurly1991
sending you loads of love.
hope the hospital team are taking good care of you xxxx

I am so sorry for your loss @CurlyWurly1991 💕 I hope you have support around you and the EPU are looking after you x

@CurlyWurly1991 what horrible news - I'm so so sorry :( sending you strength and peace to get through this. I'm so sorry you have to go through this again :( xxxx

Brown spotting on the tissue ladies :(

I'm scared.

Nothing to do but wait now

Aw I'm so sorry to read your update @CurlyWurly1991. The missed element is so tough - especially when you have all the symptoms. Twice in a row is just heartbreaking. Hope you have some good support around you xx

@CurlyWurly1991 so very very sorry to hear this 😔 Sending you the most enormous hug. It really is so cruel as others have said. Hope you have lots of love and support around you at this time. Xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 so sorry you're experiencing spotting and that your fear is heightened again too. It's so tough 😔 Will you ring EPU? Xx

Ladies, TMI warning...

I've been on progesterone since positive test (400mg twice a day - which has sometimes meant 4 pessaries in a day because pharmacy only had 200mg ones) and am now at 12 weeks (dating scan on Monday). My consultant told me I could stop at 12 weeks and I planned to wait till after the scan but I've had an unbearable itch for over a week so stopped the progesterone myself on Wed. Anyway, the itch hasn't subsided and I'm now worried. Has anyone else had this with progesterone??

@Traitors2024 not something I experienced, no. I'd say worth mentioning as it could be the pessaries or could be a random uti symptom or something?

@Traitors2024 fyi I believe most of the pessaries can be inserted anally instead of causing issues or personal preference etc. worth checking and seeing if a better option for you?

@SnookyPook thanks, I called the community midwives and they're saying thrush or UTI - I was tested for both when I first mentioned it but will just test again. I was afraid it could be an infection but she put my mind at ease.

Phoned the gp to put my name down to see the midwife and she said I won't see anyone till 16 weeks (only 5 weeks so got a long wait lol) but the dr wants to speak to me about the medication I'm taking (metformin for Pcos) not sure if there going to say to stop taking it or not, things are starting to feel real x

Just had a scan and it was positive - seen a tiny bean and a heartbeat, but super early days, just 6 and a half weeks so I don't feel much that much relief from it. I had a scan last week, which was meant to be at 6 weeks but which was inconclusive, so I have been lurking and trying and failing to distract myself.

I need to go back again on Thursday! The EPU and all staff I have seen have been so lovely, it wasn't that traumatic to go back this time and I even had the same midwife as for my last miscarriage, but she was lovely.

@Mamaxo that's so long to wait, did they say why? Guessing you aren't in England as I'd expect to have booking in appointment and a 12 week scan before then?