Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

Good luck today @Hopingrae & @SnookyPook!

I’ve woken up this morning and had a bit of pink spotting when I wiped. Terrified this means the beginning of the end or that being on progesterone is concealing a MC. I still have strong symptoms but I also know that isn’t actually an indicator of anything concrete. I think I’m going to hold on to the scan on Wednesday, I’ve got my DS today and tomorrow is tricky with work and even if something’s wrong there isn’t anything they can do to fix it… I hate the anxiety.

@Wise0wl aw sorry you've had this scare my love. Glad you've not too long to wait until scan. Remember I had spotting at 8 and 11wks and a little bleed at 13 and all been fine it can absolutely just be a random thing. Hoping that's all it is for you. 💗🙏🏼

Thanks @SnookyPook 💕 I’m hoping it’s just my cervix being irritated from a busy weekend or something, they didn’t see any bleeds at my last scan. Hanging on to hope whilst prepping myself for bad news x

Hello I’m glad to have found you all. Recognise some familiar names 👋

@Wise0wl I hope it’s just a little spotting and as @SnookyPook said it can just be one of those things that comes up in pregnancy.

@SnookyPook ah lovely you have reached that milestone and are feeling wriggles. I remember feeling the ‘quickening’ with my daughter. It’s like nothing else!

I’m about 8+6 based on LMP and it has been an anxious few weeks as I had a MMC in Dec/Jan discovered just under 8 weeks at a private scan.

I’ve read back a couple of pages on this thread and it sounds like a lot of us are getting scans before 12 weeks. Are those NHS or private? I’ve had my booking appt and midwife said I can’t be referred for early scans on the basis of a previous miscarriage, there’s no medical need etc. I am really in two minds about whether to get a scan before 12 weeks. The only place I would consider is a private hospital with nhs consultant but this is £95 a time and I can’t really afford it.

I’m worried an early scan would either only let me know sooner that it was another MMC (so save time) or reassure me for just a short while. I know this sounds terrible but I feel like what’s the point, if the pregnancy isn’t going to progress then a scan won’t change that and will just put me through hell building up to it and going through it. That private scan last time was really traumatic.

My mind has spiralled a bit since yesterday as my nausea has just disappeared so I’m back expecting another MMC. It’s so hard!!

Sorry @Wise0wl about the pink spotting. I also had this a few weeks ago & was convinced it was all over but the scan showed no reason for the bleeding

Hi @CurlyWurly1991 i think I’ve spoken to you on the November thread before. I wasn’t going to have an early scan, but had some spotting & so the EPU saw me. Otherwise I think I would have waited til 12wks, as I hated the private scan I had last time when I had a MC.
I’m just over 10 weeks, and had some loss of symptoms for a day or 2 a week or so ago. It soon came back. I feel like I am starting to have more better days than worse the further I get along

Thanks @CurlyWurly1991 & @Figtree11 💕

@CurlyWurly1991 I’m 8+1 and have had two MMCs, I have been under my EPU for regular scans for both this and my last pregnancy, and prescribed progesterone for spotting. In your shoes I probably wouldn’t go for a private scan, finding out about my first MMC at one was awful. I’m so sorry you’re also feeling anxious!

All well at our official 12 week scan. Baby measuring slightly ahead at 13+1, due end of October time. It was in an awkward position to start with so I got sent out the room twice to wee, walk up and down the stairs and had to "wiggle my hips like shakira" on the bed!! But a milestone that had been a long time coming!! Thanks so much ladies for all your lovely support up to this point. You've helped get me through a tough few weeks!! xxx

@Hopingrae oh wonderful! 🥰 Lovely news 💗

@CurlyWurly1991 welcome to the thread - lovely to see you here 🥰 Definitely lots of us on the thread can empathise with what you're going through. The first trimester is really tough mentally after loss. Absolutely get where you're coming from re scans too. I had early ones through my EPU cos of the recurrent loss history. They were so anxiety filled every time, then provided momentary relief and then the anxiety built again. I'm not sure personally I could have got to 12wks with no insight though (I'd carried my MMC a month with no sign of my body giving it up before I found out so felt a bit like I didn't want things dragging on that long again were it to happen again)... Just do what works for you I guess is the answer. 💗

I’m so pleased! Such lovely lovely news @Hopingrae 💕

@Hopingrae im so pleased for you! Such great news x

@CurlyWurly1991 welcome! I feel like we've been on a thread in the past at some point?! Nice to have you join us!

Very true as others have said, the first trimester can be very slow and painful. Great that you've got to 8+6. I was really unsure about early scans due to past experiences. Similar to @SnookyPook I found the wait for 12 weeks too hard. In the end we decided to get a private one at 8 weeks and I had an emotional breakdown before I lay on the scanning bed. I was terrified. All was OK. I've had it go the other way too, I know it feels like a horrible game of chance. Do you have a date for your 12 week scan?

thank you for the lovely messages of support xx
yes I’ve had my 12 week scan date through for when I’ll be around 12+5.
it just plays on my mind that last time I lost the nausea between 6-7 weeks and that was when the baby stopped developing but I didn’t find out until about 7+6.

Evening all. so... update on our scan with foetal medicine today... He's still dinky (3rd centile!) but seems very strong and healthy. They want to keep an eye on us though in case of fetal growth restriction so another scan in 3 weeks. No evidence of placental or viral cause for size - all looked healthy (placenta, amniotic fluid levels, blood flow to baby etc all great). Still leaves a possibility of genetic cause but she didn't seem to think this overly likely and wouldn't advise amniocentesis at this stage anyway due to risk of preterm labour. Most likely, especially given my first son's birth size, is that I just make dinky baby boys. In fact, tracking his trajectory on the growth chart, he would be very similar birth weight to my first son - it just wasn't picked up for him as nothing flagged at 20wk scan! So... I'm reassured overall. Still got a bit emotional and she was really sweet and said "I know after recurring loss you just want to hear that everything is absolutely fine and this throws you a bit as it's something else to worry about... But I'm not worried. He seems like a really happy baby in there" She was so lovely and kept saying how cute he looked (which made me laugh as it was just black and white images of bones... Haha) She was basically as reassuring as she could be. 🙏🏼💙

I am so glad for you @SnookyPook, I’ve been thinking of you today! And really glad they’re keeping an eye on little one too 💕

@SnookyPook aww I'm glad the sonographer helped to make it a positive scan experience ❤ that's very true about wanting everything to be fine after losses, of course you do! I'm glad they're going to keep an eye on little man, hopefully reassuring to know how not reassuring too long until next scan. And that's interesting re he's tracking to be similar weight to DS1 potentially. Good things come in small packages 😘

good to hear the scans went well @Hopingrae and @SnookyPook!

@SnookyPook love what’s said above as good things come in small packages 💙 glad they’re taking care, being so nice and giving you extra scans! Xxx

@SnookyPook and @Hopingrae massive congratulations on your positive scans. I'm sorry your boy is measuring small snookypook, but it is genuinely reassuring when they say to you that they're not worried.

@CurlyWurly1991 congrats on your pregnancy. I remember you from other threads! I'm 7+2 today, decided to wait til 8 weeks for a private scan (my mmc was at 6 weeks, picked up at 8 weeks on a private scan, didn't miscarry until 11 weeks) - my thinking was if I saw a healthy 8 week scan I would be happy. I also did the same with my son and he was measuring ahead at 9+4.

Then my symptoms disappeared at 6+4 and I completely freaked out. Moved my private scan to 7 weeks and had it on Friday. All was well and I saw a heartbeat, but as soon as I entered the private clinic i was in hell and dreading the worst again. Its such a horrible setting to receive bad news and I definitely have something like ptsd from where they failed to locate the pregnancy and told me I might rupture. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is my advice would be go with your gut about if/when you want a scan, and go easy on yourself if you change your mind. Your peace of mind is the most important thing. I feel maybe 20% less anxious since my scan though I'm keenly aware 6+6 (the day of the scan) anything could change still. That 20% is such a relief though as I had got myself into a right state over things. It was £90 privately, and I'm doing it again at 9 weeks and I'm hoping I will feel better after that. We are all different though. My problem has been mainly getting pregnant in the first place and my loss (though traumatic as an mmc) was just 6 weeks, so I guess my threshold for trying to relax somewhat is different to others. You have to do what feels right for you xxx

That’s great @SnookyPook that they seem not worried at all. It does very much sound like he will be a little baby like your son!

@SnookyPook sounds like good news and you’ve gotta take it when they say it’s not a worry. My daughter is still on about the 2nd percentile for height and weight 🤷🏻‍♂️ someone’s gotta be. We are both small though so it makes sense. If he’s growing and developing well then it’s all good.

Feeling sick again this evening so I should have been careful what I wished for - ha.

@CurlyWurly1991 ive had that so many times. Written to this group I’m feeling better no sickness and then it comes back stronger than ever 😂
it’s so hard to know what to do with scans.
we found out about our MMC at hospital and I found it so hard going back there with this pregnancy. We were in same room and the same sonographer that told us there was no heartbeat last time, tell us there was a heartbeat this time. Safe to say it was an emotional rollercoaster. But you need to do what’s best for you!

after my scan I really felt better but this week I’m thinking I might just get a scan at 14 weeks for peace of mind. I don’t know if I can wait another 3 and a half weeks for a scan. The anxiety is creeping in thick and fast and it’s only been 4 days. Why can’t my brain just let me enjoy a tiny part of this pregnancy 😩

Morning everyone. I’m 10+4 today and woke in the night with really strong period type pain. From what I’ve read it’s stretching pain. I got this a lot in the early weeks, but not had it in a while. So was a bit disconcerting at 2am! Anyone else had this around 10/11 weeks?

@Figtree11 I’m not there yet but I’ve got similar, period type cramps along with a little bit of pink spotting today and yesterday when I wipe after going to the loo. I’m really hoping it’s because I’ve hit 8 weeks and you can get spotting when you’d typically have a period, but am feeling a bit panicked by it to be honest! I hope the cramps subside for you 🤞

@Wise0wl I’ve not had any more since so I think it’s the uterus stretching. I read on the nhs website that it’s a symptom at 10wks to feel period like pain.
I hope your spotting subsides - is it this week you’re having a scan?

@Figtree11 I'm fairly sure I had this at the same point you're experiencing it. I'd had a scratchy feeling a lot but it definitely upped and felt more like cramping, especially at night. Then it just eased off after a few days. Sounds like a similar thing hopefully x