Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

@Confusedandtired90 I know it can feel disconcerting when the dates don't feel like they add up. I reckon though if you think you ovulated 18/19 march then 5+3 at this stage for an "average" cycle length/ovulation date sounds about right to me? Have you got any other scans coming up to check progress?

I had my first scan at 7+2 with this one but was measuring 6+2. I must have ovulated a bit later than normal as we only DTD CD17 and 19... Similar to you. If I'd had my scan a week earlier I'd have probably seen similar to you and been similarly anxious. Fingers crossed that's all it is. 🤞🏼 X

Hiya everyone!! I havent really been keeping up with this thread 🫤
So im very behind with everything!! But i saw @SnookyPook 's comment.
Im so sorry darling, its definitely hard, they think its spontaneous. Ive had my 3rd and they werent bothered about checking baby either.

I wanted to come on and update everyone! I jad a full blood count done after fighting with my gp over it as they said i dont need one, but ive never had a FBC done!! So in the end they agreed, my Vitamin D is low, my iron is relatively low and my folic acid is relatively low too, so i'm going to start some vitamins today when im home!

Also my gp have sent off my referral to Recurrant miscarriage clinic and the earliest date i got for hearing something is 7th of June😐

We're still sticking to the OG plan if carrying on like normal, if we get pregnant fantastic, if not then its not a problem!

Hope everyone is doing okay x

@LER2023 I'm really pleased you've managed to get a full blood count, there are a whole host of other tests that GPs are able to request that can help to find reasons for miscarriage, so you could maybe ask for these while you're waiting for your referral? The nurse at the EPU wrote out this list for me if it's helpful and I gave it straight to my GP. You might need to be pushy but they are absolutely able to do it, mine did after only 2 miscarriages.

@Rockyslife I am so desperately sorry. It's too cruel, especially so soon after your previous pregnancy. Hopefully you can find some support to help you grieve both. I got pregnant very quickly after my first loss and I honestly felt my body wasn't ready second time. I felt ill the whole pregnancy (not morning sickness ill, just run down and kept catching viruses) and I just knew I physically needed a break. When the second loss happened it felt so inevitable to me somehow, like I always knew that's how it would end. I wish you the absolute best with the rest of this shitty process. I'm sorry.

@Rockyslife I’m so so so sorry 💔 xxxx

Sorry I meant day 18 / 19 of my cycle! So like 15 / 16 March?

BLUERGH. Feeling v anxious but that won't help or change anything so walk in the sunshine with the dog it is!

I had FBC; HbA1c levl - IFCC, Urea & electrolytes, liver runction, blood haematinic, serum TSH level, serum totsl 25 - OH vit D, routine biochemistry

If theres something else i will fight for it lol x

Hi ladies, I too have been reading and dipping in and out hoping that you are all staying safe but not really knowing if to comment or not.

@Ketryne thanks for the list, I’m currently reading it starts with an egg and then going to take a list to the gp whilst waiting for recurrent miscarriage clinic.

@LER2023 my miscarriage clinic asks that I contact them on the first day of my second period to start the process. Isn’t it strange how they all do things.

@Rockyslife please push if you want the baby sending. I’ve had two in a row now. The second at 12 weeks but had stopped at 8+4. I asked the morning of my operation and they filled out the Genenics PM form there a then and the baby has gone for testing along with some of my own samples. Did you get any written information leaflets at all because it was also detailed in there about it being an option.

i will still be here in the background and hopefully one day will have an update for you all. But for now, we have decided to wait until testing has been done at the clinic and to use that time to get ourselves to the best health that we can be.

much love to you all, you are all rockstars xx

Nice to hear from you @LER2023 and @Nic2908 ❤️ Glad you are doing as well as can be, and that wheels are in motion with the clinics

So sorry @Rockyslife it’s just so cruel. As others have said, I would request it at your operation tomorrow. Mine is on Tuesday and I’ll be kicking up a night stink about it because this is my 4th loss at 8w, but they said they wouldn’t consider testing the baby because I have a 6 year old in between. I’m going to push for it though and you should maybe do the same if you have the strength to xx

I don't know what to to do, the nurse has said we cant even pay private and they won't don't it just for two, I literally can't process that, we've said we will do anything to at least try for answers, what the hell can I do mentally when I want a baby so badly and I physically won't let myself try again to have to go through this again with no answers, I just feel mugged off. I just feel so angry and lost right now 😭

@Nic2908 @LER2023 nice to hear from you both and to hear you are getting a bit further with hopefully getting some answers and taking steps closer to your rainbows 🙏🏼🌈

@Jellybelly888 @Rockyslife the '3 in a row' rule seems so cruel and unnecessary. It feels like they just want to put you through it again and again for their own sadistic purposes doesn't it. And I know they will have their reasons and that hopefully it's because you are not likely to ever have 3 in a row but it's just so horrible when you're in the middle of it. I definitely agree to push at the op if you feel able to. Sometimes in these situations you just need the right member of staff at the right moment to put something through for you. I'll keep everything crossed you are both able to get some answers asap.

The 3 miscarriages is such a horrible thing for women to go through before they get any kind of support.
Its really sad. I wish there was more support than this.

When i went through my second one i demanded help from someone to look into it and everyone turned me away.

You can go see someone privately, it has to be a specific miscarriage clinic though. If you speak to your gp and force them to refer you to tommy's if you live close enough to any of their locations which are london, birmingham or coventry.
Unfortunately i dont live anywhere near them and after buying my own house, i dont have much money to go private.

Especially since house prices shot up when we went for ours, so we're already paying over the odds for our house.

But im happy that i had all my bloods done, the gp tried to tell me the miscarriage clinic will do all the work for me and i wont need my bloods doing with them, it was only when i said yes im 26 and thats young, however when you've been trying for a baby and in 16 months you have 3 miscarriages, does that just not scream 'PROBLEM' she was like yes i understand what you mean, we wont be able to test you like the miscarriage clinic would but we can make a start'

So ive had them done and theyve all come back fine apart from folic acid, iron and vitamin D. So now i have some vitamins with all those in as well as omega 3, 6 and 9.
So fingers crossed that should work to build them all up, my appointment is looking like June 7th. I told my partner and he was like JUNE?! Then 6 months after that?! Thats like a year!! I'll be hitting 35 babe, i was like i'll be nearly 30! Well i'll be nearly 29 when we have our first baby!

We've wanted our special baby for YEARS! I always remember being 14 and wanting my own baby and im 27 on tuesday! So for some years ive wanted a child. He nearly had 1 at 14. Hes now 33 with no living children.
But thats boys for you🫠

Fingers crossed we can have our rainbow soon! When we get pregnant again we will have a very early midwife appt and a 6 week scan, but cant have progesterone or baby asprin because it all depends on what the 'specialist' say, as its on a case to case basis. However a pharmacist told me i have to ask my gp for it😅

Confusion all around, but we'll make it. We all will.

You've all been absolutely fantastic and this thread has gone very far considering OP put out an innocent message🤭
You're all absolutely amazing and i wish you all nothing but the best❤️

Anxiety is through the roof tonight. I'm 4w +2 and Iv just done a clear blue weeks and it's still on 1-2. I feel absolutely shocking today, nausea on and off, extremely tired but so hot. My cheeks are so red.

Hi @JNicko
i think sometimes those tests don’t really progress, I’ve seen so many post of people saying the same thing but also if your the 2 weeks on the test and that’s 4 weeks from LMP so not far off what you think - if that’s what you are going off for your 4+2? Xxx

Yes 4 +2 I'm going off. Wish I could get a dye stealer 😩 mine seems so faint compared to others x

Hi, I'm dipping in and out of the thread. Currently 10wks after 4 miscarriages in a row and hoping for some reassurance at my scan on Tuesday.
@Rockyslife I just wanted to say it shouldn't always be the 3 miscarriage rule and if you meet any of these other conditions maybe you could push for testing?
https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/blog/recurrent-miscarriage-new-guidance-for-doctors-and-patients/

Sorry I meant if your going off LMP then a 1-2 clear blue test makes sense I think @JNicko
(Someone correct me if I’m wrong)

I also think HCG varies differently from person to person so try not to compare your tests to others you see although I know it’s so difficult ❤️

Take it day by day. I don’t know what sort of thing you find helpful, but I found the pregnancy after loss book helpful to write in every day, think it starts at 5 weeks. Xx

Oh really I will have to give it a go. I really need to step away from the tests I think it's making my anxiety worse but hard not to. I need to try find something to take my mind off things. It's all I think about every second x

I was expecting 2-3 on clear blue x

@JNicko could you have ovulated slightly later?
sorry I probably haven’t help calm your anxiety but husband fast asleep whilst watching a programme he wanted to watch so thought I’d reply and try to be helpful ☺️

I’m with you on all I think about. I don’t have any wise words on testing - I luckily only had 2 or 3 left when I found out so I just never got anymore. Hopefully you’ll get to a point where you feel you can walk away from the stick, or you just cant keep spending the money - clear blue are so bloody expensive aren’t they!!
just be kind to yourself xxxx

I don't think I ovulated later. I got my ovulation from LH testing so pretty sure when it was. X

Hi all, had my scan late this evening and all looked positive. I'm 9+2, but ovulated late so tracking at around 8+6 which my doctor was happy with, especially is it's in line with where I was for the last one. Heartbeat as it should be.

I have a small haematoma away from the pregnancy which he said shows no signs of bleed right now so am really hoping it's not something I need to worry about too much.

I'm booked in for a NIPT/Harmony and scan in just over 2 weeks, which is going to feel like an unbelievably long wait. Booking appointment next week. Can I start to think this might be ok yet...?

@Ketryne lovely news! 🥰 8+6 is fab too - the MC risk massively drops after a heartbeat at 8wks 😊 Great you've got your nipt booked in - only 2 weeks to wait until you see them again 💗

@JNicko as @30somethingttc says, those CB digital tests are notorious for being inaccurate. Also the variety of HCG can vary so much from person to person. I stayed clear of those tests this time as they caused more anxiety than they were worth! If you're only 4+2 I really don't think 1-2 is worrying anyway as you could deffo still be within 14days of ovulation/implantation. Even with using opks, the window for ovulation can be up to 36hrs after the peak I believe which is quite a variety. Far easier said than done but really try not to overthink it all 💗

@Traitors2024 hello and welcome 😊 Everything crossed for you for Tues! 4 losses is a lot to recover from - hope you're doing ok. Had any of those losses got as far as you are currently? 10wks is great! 🙏🏼🌈 Sending hugs!

@LER2023 you seem like such a strong person and I love your attitude - it will happen 💕 Although it's awful that you've had to go through 3 losses, your age is still a bonus as you have lots of time to get to the bottom of it all. I was 34 when we first tried and I'm so thankful that I was lucky with my first and conceived on 4th cycle and it stuck. I can only imagine how tough it would be to be going through similar issues trying for your first. All of you ladies in that position are just amazing for keeping on and managing to function and get on with life. 💗

@LER2023 and @Nic2908 I've been thinking of you both, it's lovely to see your names pop up. Like pp said I'm really glad you both have plans in place with clinics.
Sorry you've got a bit of a wait @LER2023 . I didn't have DS until I was 37 and if this little bean makes it I'll be 40 when it's born. I know that might sounds old when you're only 26, but hopefully like pp said it means you have lots of time. I'm sorry you're still having to go through this though.
@Nic2908 I've heard really good things about It Starts with the Egg. I hope it gives some helpful insights.

@Ketryne this is great news. I'm so pleased for you. And great you've only got a couple of weeks until next scan and tests. Another little milestone to get to. I think I few of us have been told we've got a haematoma, they're so common and I think rarely cause a problem.

@Traitors2024 wishing you well with your scan on Tuesday. I know the wait for scans can be slow and hard. I'm sorry you've had such a tough road to get to this point.