Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

@Holl89 welcome to the thread! And great news on your scan, what a relief that must have been.

@SnookyPook how amazing, another boy! I'm bias because I have DS but I think boys are the best. I can see how that might have been a bit disconcerting having to go back for another growth scan. Hopefully like you say as your DS1 was dinky, little brother is just copying him! Wishing you well with it all.

@Confusedandtired90 welcome to the thread! We all know that early anxiety feeling, you're in good company. Tentative congrats on your positive. I've not experienced spotting early on but I know every pregnancy is different so hopefully just a normal part of yours. Could your speak to your GP if you're worried?

@30somethingttc I bet your nausea will return by this afternoon ;) hormones really fluctuate so I think that results in clearer moments. Hope you're doing ok.

I'm on my second set of antibiotics for tonsillitis, actually feeling a bit better today. Not happy with the amount of drugs I've had to take over the last couple of weeks, but can't be helped! DS also on antibiotics for ear infection and tonsillitis, hopefully we'll both be in the mend by next week! I think I might book another scan for 10 weeks which is next Thurs. Just feel like it would be good to check in again! Had my 12 week scan date when I'll be 12+4, something else to aim towards. Happy Easter weekend everyone x

thank you @Hopingrae feel like my symptoms have done a complete switch up not really feeling sicky and now completely starving all the time where as before I could only eat little and often but now I can’t eat enough. Can’t keep up!!

i am so sorry you’re unwell. Like you said, it can’t be helped and you need to get yourself better. I’ve got a scan on Friday and I’m the same dates as you, now I’m further than I’ve ever been I just want a scan every day 😂😂 I think if you feel you want one and it would help out your mind at ease I don’t think there’s any harm!
I have had my 12 week in for 11+5. I know they do it from around 11 but I do wonder if it’s slightly too early. But they’ve said they will get me back in if it is.

someone I know said with their pregnancy after loss they just knew when they were pregnant that it was going to be her child. I honestly cannot wait to feel less anxious and that this is going to be our time.

Also feeling uneasy after sickness subsiding. Increase in cramping and stretching pains too .. wish you could have a scan every week!!! 😩

Happy Easter everyone!!

Thought id come on and update you all lol!

So im doing absolutely fine! I had cramping for one day which was like an 8 out of 10, i had to take the rest of the week off work.
I had half a day wednesday and then that night the cramps started. But im handling it a lot better this time. Got most of the week off next week too.

We've decided we're just going to try again, im going to go to the doctors for a full bloods work up, see what they can find, but we will be trying again😊

Currently on a little get away in the uk of course!

I hope everyones doing okay, im seeing a lot of sickness and general illnesses.
Hope you're all feeling better soon x

Feeling devastated. On holiday in the UK for Easter & I’m bleeding.
Light pink/red, with some brown. This is how my last MC started.
Im so upset

@Figtree11 oh how scary for you - and while you're away too. I really hope it's a different outcome this time. I had some spotting this time at 8wks and was also convinced it was all over (spotting was the first hint of my MMC last year). However, it wasn't, and despite further spotting and a small bleed, we're still here. I know the fear you're feeling, and I know nothing will reassure you until you see all is ok on a scan, but I really hope it's all ok. If Babba is ok, make sure to ask about progesterone if you're not already on it. 💗 Keeping everything crossed for you. When will you be able to get to your EPU? Worth checking another local hospital while you're away? If you explain they may see you? Sending hugs xxx

Thank you @SnookyPook i feel beside myself & just can’t imagine this having a good outcome.
I have to go through my GP to get referred to the EPU, and I want them to be able to log it as potentially being 2 miscarriages so I feel like I have to wait until Tuesday at the moment.
I’ve no pain & it’s not heavy, but if it progresses I’ll reassess & then maybe go home & try get in the EPU through 111.

I’ve been worried throughout but I did have a feeling deep down that it would be ok. So I nearly fainted when I saw the blood.

@Figtree11 oh bless you, I really feel for you going through this when you're away and on a bank holiday weekend. I echo @SnookyPook and totally relate to how you feel, and really hoping this is a different outcome for a different pregnancy. Are you able to book a private scan local to where you are perhaps? Although I appreciate that would be very stressful. It sounds like the right plan to keep an eye on it and call 111 or pop to a&e if needed. There are so many reasons for bleeding in pregnancy, I know for us it will just never seem OK until we know what's actually happening.

@LER2023 lovely to hear your update and that you're feeling ok at the moment. You and OH sound like a good team. I hope you're both able to relax a bit during your time off. Sounds like a plan to get your bloods done with gp, that's definitely a good starting point.

Oh thats awful. So sorry to see your going through this worry. I hope that your feeling okay. Sending you so much love.

@Hopingrae i like to think we're a good team. We've always said we're a team and we'll work together with everything xx

Thank you both. Had some more brown bleeding. Happening exactly like my last MC so I know it’s all over. Absolutely devastated, I can’t believe this is happening to me again

Hi all, I'm so glad I've found this thread.

I am 6 weeks pregnant after a miscarriage last September and I am so so anxious I'm going to lose this baby too.

I have been testing every other day for reassurance (only doing this until I run out of the cheapie tests) and so far all of the test have been super dark, darker than the control line.

Literally checking for spotting every time I go to the loo.

Boobs have also been really sore for the last 2 weeks, altho not as much today.

Last night I felt a bit paranoid because I had some stomach cramps (however I HAD just eaten half a M&S cream sponge cake to myself... so I put it down to that)

But last night I had a horrible dream that I began bleeding and I dreamt that it was the start of a miscarriage again :(

This morning I took a test and it was the faintest one Ive had which had made me feel very anxious. Altho I would say it was still very much positive.

I'm just so worried I'm going to lose this baby too. I'm scared I'm going to have a missed miscarriage.

Hoping to book in for a scan next week.

We are a few days further on than our last pregnancy.

How do I get over this awful feeling of dread and anxiety?

@Figtree11 the fact there is no pain and it's not heavy is hopeful (again, I know not much reassurance when that has previously had a bad outcome for you) - but it really could be a different outcome this time. Brown blood is usually older blood too. I'm still keeping everything crossed for you and sending more hugs your way. If it is worst case scenario (and I really hope it's not) then please know that there is still hope even after you've crossed into repeated loss territory. My current pregnancy is my 4th from the last 12 months and I really felt towards the end of last year like it was never going to happen.

@LER2023 I agree with @Hopingrae , it's great to hear you in as good a place as possible and with your teammate by your side. It makes such a difference to have good support. 💗 Exciting you've decided to go again - hopefully your little rainbow is on their way soon!

@DiaryOfaTTCer welcome to the thread! And congratulations on your pregnancy! No way around it, pregnancy after loss is really hard and I think I probably speak for all of us here that you don't really completely get over the dread and anxiety... Day by day just celebrate the little wins and the milestones and as the pregnancy creeps forwards you start to dare to hope a bit more. But it's tough. As for the miscarriage dreams - they are horrible. I had three in my first trimester and was convinced it was my subconscious preparing me for another loss. I think one of the things that helped me most was realising that whether I lived in fear and dread, or allowed a bit of hope and excitement to creep in, the outcome would be the outcome regardless (and nothing I could do would prevent the devastation) and I reached a point where I wanted to celebrate this little bean for however long they could be with me and I would deal with any pain or grief if it became a reality I had to deal with. 💕

Thank you @SnookyPook for being so kind. Bleeding eased off in the night but has started back up again now.

I just can’t believe it. I’m so scared that I will never become a mum or make my DP a dad

@Figtree11 I’m really sorry 😢 did you say you’re going to try and get to the EPU on Tuesday? praying it’s just a haematoma xx

I keep having dreams of miscarrying and last night I was stuck in the hospital lift and couldn’t get to gyne. Sickness has pretty much gone and cramping was bad last night. trying to enjoy not feeling sick but my symptoms just seem to be going the wrong way this week x

Thanks @H20202 yes I have to go through the GP to get referred to the EPU. Last time EPU couldn’t see me until the day after. So feel it’s going to be a long drawn out process.

I’m sorry that you are struggling with the symptoms

So sorry to hear you're experiencing this @Figtree11 I think as we've all been there before the sight of any bleeding would make us think the worst 😢 I ageee with @SnookyPook though and think that no pain is a good sign. I hope you manage to get referred for some peace of mind soon 🙏

@LER2023 lovely to hear from you. It sounds like you and OH make a great team and have a good plan in place. I've no doubt we'll be hearing good news from you soon x

@Hopingrae sorry to hear that you're still unwell and on more antibiotics, hopefully they shift the last of the infection! I'm similar to you and can't wait for my 16 week scan so I'm going to book a private one for Tuesday week which will mean only another 2 weeks to wait then

@30somethingttc I had my 12 week scan at 11+5 too abd it was fine, good to know they'll see you again if it's unclear though

@H20202 oh that dream sounds awful 😞 I've had a few bad ones, there's nothing as u settling! How far along are you now? I've had cramping from the beginning, it can be quite upsetting but so far it's all looking ok so I'm sure you'll be fine absolutely it's just one of those symptoms that's there to make us question everything 😣 I think I'll freak out when my sickness subsides too, as much as I hate it it's weirdly reassuring but everything I've read says that it's perfectly normal for it to fade so try not to worry too much (easier said than done I know!)

@Sez281 I’m 7 weeks today, I had a scan at 6,1 and all good with strong heartbeat so hoping that counts for something! I thought my sickness would continue to build but from midweek it’s calmed right down, which I’m grateful for but does make me think is the hcg going the wrong way now😫 thanks for the reassurance though that was really helpful. I have a scan at 9,2 but I may bring it forward a week if needs be xx

Ahh that’s good to know thank you @Sez281
im going to log off for a few days ahead of my scan Friday as my anxiety is absolutely through the roof.
i hope you all had a great long weekend and will check back in next weekend.
I’ll be thinking of you @Figtree11 and really hope that you get seen ASAP and I’ve got everything crossed for good news. Xxx

@30somethingttc don't blame you for a bit of time away! Wishing you all the luck with your scan on Friday. We've booked one for Thursday, praying we both have positive news to share x

@H20202 hope you're feeling ok, not long to wait for your scan (although it always feels like bloody forever right!). No harm in bringing it forward if you think it might ease some anxiety.

@Sez281 thanks I'm feeling so much better (in tonsillitis terms!) think the second lot of antibiotics really helped. I've had an energy surge today and have been unusually productive around the house and in the garden... then I worry that my symptoms have changed. Gahh. Having a sit down now before DS wake up as I'm sooo knackered.

@Figtree11 been thinking of you, hope you're as ok as you can be and that you can get into epu super quick from tomorrow.

I also might have a couple of quieter days waiting for the next scan. Starting to get the dreads again. Hope everyone is doing OK x

Someone kindly shared this thread with me so I thought I'd repost this onto here as more suitable

After three years of desperation of wanting a baby of our own we finally caught last Nov just before IVF was about to commence, we sadly lost baby number 1 in January and it absolutely destroyed me, mainly mentally and if anything it really scared me. To our amazement we caught again in our Feb cycle and I am currently 7 weeks 3 day's, whilst I am over the moon, I am also really struggling, the first few weeks have been a stress but I started to calm down slightly when I got to further that I did the last time with no bleeding, until Saturday when I started spotting brown again. I absolutely lost my head, I was uncontrollable, didn't sleep, couldn't stop crying, I couldn't get out of my head that spotting just means miscarriage to me, even though it isn't always the case this is what is imprinted in my brain. I managed to get an emergency scan the next day, I had convinced myself that our baby had died and would soon be miscarrying, when we went to our scan something came out of me which was absolutely terrifying, brown stringy stuff that looked like fleshy. I showed the nurse and she just looked at me with a face of sadness. When I had the scan to my amazement there was a baby and a heart beat, me and my husband had convinced ourselves it would be bad news. The whole point of this message is I am struggling, I feel like I have PTSD in a way from the loss in jan and I am not ready mentally to experience it again so soon, and I am absolutely petrified. They've prescribed me some progesterone and I have another scan booked for Fri 12th which I am hopeful and praying that my body can get me there, all I have is hope

@Rockyslife welcome - I'm glad you've joined us (I shared the link on your other thread). You're certainly amongst understanding folk here. All rooting for each other extra hard after our previous losses. Sending a hug!

@SnookyPook thank you so so much for taking the time to let me know about this thread as I think it's just what I need on my moments of need, sometimes my husband just doesn't get it

@Figtree11 I’m so sorry that you’re having this stress. The constant feeling that something horrible is round the corner can be terrifying - allow yourself to feel everything you need to. Hopefully everything is looking better than you fear when you go to the EPU xxx

@Rockyslife I hear you on the sometimes your husband just not getting it thing! I think mine tries to distance himself from some of my worries sometimes because he doesn’t want to feed it?! Either way, drives me mad! It’s really comforting to hear other people’s experiences and know we’re all in the same boat

What’s the earliest that people have gone to the EPU and they’ve been able to see that the baby is in the right place? I’ve been having brown spotting since before my BFP which is continuing with a near constant ache on my right side.

terrified that it’s another ectopic but don’t know if I should put off going to the EPU in case they case see anything which will make me even more stressed?!

I’m technically 5 weeks but based on when I ovulated, probably more like 4 weeks or so? Got BFP on Wednesday night