💙🩷From Bumps 2 Babies & Beyond!🤰👶🍼🤱🤱

[MummyTo4BoysXXXX]

following on from the Due February 2024 thread 7.. now this shall be thread 8! For us all to continue our pregnancy&postpartum journey together 😊

@Ebonythoughts who is he expecting to look after the baby? My partner was pretty shit at the beginning to be honest, actually he was really shit and just left me to it pretty much. He definitely found it a big life adjustment, more so then me. It sounds like your partner doesn’t really appreciate how relentless it can be looking after a baby. Do you leave the baby with him alone? Last time I left my boy with his dad for just 1 hour, he said it felt like 4.. and it was definitely a bit of an eye opener for him! 🤣 He now appreciates me a lot more and has actually said he’s so glad I have a year off work because it makes it so much easier for him.

@Ebonythoughts sorry you are finding it tough :( do you think you may have a bit of PND? It's very common (1 in 4 I think) and something a lot of mums struggle with. It might be worth getting an appointment with the gp to be assessed, or speak to your HV as maybe some support with your mental health could help.

With the returning to work and when that happens, no you're not overreacting to not be considering going back right now, they are so tiny and you're barely out of the 4th trimester but is it not something you both discussed and agreed before ttc or during the pregnancy about how long you could afford to take off? You could remind him of whatever it was you agreed on. If you agreed you'd take 3 months but now it's here and you're not ready to go back, it's fair of him to ask what is going to happen now and you need to have another discussion about why you aren't ready and agree a new plan about your return.

It sucks to feel unsupported and under appreciated, but without Knowing the exact situation it's hard to know how much of it is him not pulling his weight and how much is the exhaustion and the overwhelmed nature of new parenthood. Communication with your partner is key, it sounds like you've tried to talk to him and he's not getting it, but try again - tell him you're feeling overwhelmed, and whether he understand why or not you need him to do more to help you.

Relationship strain at this stage is something not many people talk about, but it's very very common and you're not alone.

Can't believe my baby is almost 14 weeks old already, where does the time go?

He is catching up to where he should be in weight which I'm so proud of, he was 7lb 7oz when he was born and now at 13w5d old he's weighing 12lb 6oz, I don't mind if he's small but the fact that he was going down centiles was scary!

@RachLeeds and @LavenderSweetPea thank you. My emotions have been all over the place and I’ve spoken to the GP and they’ve advised I get some support which I will do. I think I need some time to focus on me and my mental health first before trying to get to the bottom of why I feel tension in my relationship.

Baby question for those who have been swaddling… When did you transition out of a swaddle if you did swaddle your babies? My daughter is 12 weeks and trying to roll now and she’s resisting the swaddle but when I tried putting her in a sleep sack last night she woke up herself up every 15-20mins by just moving her arms in her sleep lol. I went back to swaddling tonight because she was just fussy after having her vaccinations today. Any tips to help transition her to sleep sacks?

@Ebonythoughts once they can roll you need to stop swaddling. I found the best way to transition was have one arm out for a couple of nights then both. It can be a bit rough sleep wise at first but will settle down eventually.

I just wanted to say you're not alone in being all over the place with your emotions and mental health. It's such a big life change when you have a baby and it's ok to feel the way you do. Can your GP or HV refer you to perinatal mental health? They would be able to give you some support if you feel like you needed it. I'm sending you love and hope things feel better for you soon x

Anyone's babies abit fussy atm?

14 weeks and last two days she's not happy lying down, not happy being held so no idea where to have her 😂
Fine out for walk in pram but obv can't do that all day.

Have needles later on aswell😔

I never swaddled because baby always wanted to suck his fingers but I’ve also seen one arm out at a time suggested. Is my baby just lazy because he’s making no attempts to roll at nearly 14 weeks?? 🤣

My DD is same age only started lying on her side yesterday

@RachLeeds mine is 15w and is making no attempts to roll so far I've tried to encourage him with toys but he really doesn't care 😂. Fortunately we did not swaddle so don't have to worry about that.

My little boy only rolls from belly to back, he loves being on his back so is not interested in rolling the other way. I still assist him in rolling in the hopes he'll pick it up though. 🤣

@RachLeeds mine is 14 weeks today and rolled from front to back for the first time today. She's showing signs of doing it the other way and spends a lot of time almost on her side. But she's gone from chilling quite happily on her front to being fuming about it so it's no wonder she's figured out how to move back from that first 😅

@RachLeeds nearly 14weeks here too and no attempt at rolling. He still hates tummy time but i keep trying!

Just wanted to vent a little...

I feel like I spend all my time worrying about my family/in laws and making sure they all get time with the little one.
I'm constantly planning weekends 3/4 weeks in advance to include everyone. I don't know why or what it is but I overthink everything. This then leads to us having no weekends free as a family of three. This doesn't seem to bother my husband much but it does me! I want to make as many memories as we can that don't always include grandparents.
I seem to find it difficult to say 'no, we're spending some time just the three of us doing x y z' (particularly to in laws - even though they're not difficult!)

Does anyone else do this or do I need just to suck it up and get over it lol.

@msp2023 Stop planning so far in advance.

If they ask if your coming round etc just say no we have x planned this weekend, why don't you pop to see us in the week.

I keep weekends free for the kids, we have an older DC who's 5 so weekends for us are taking him out and I see grandparents in the week with baby.

Your replies regarding rolling make me feel better, so thanks ladies. It’s hard not to compare babies when you go to classes and the other babies all seem to have perfect head control and will lie there happily and do tummy time etc

@KayakingBex this funny fisher price gaming pillow is the only thing that will get Charlie to do any sort of tummy time for longer than 30 seconds. I really didn’t expect it to work (but I was desperate!! 🤣) Anyway, he lifted his head and started playing with the little toys and hitting the mat on the front straight away. I do it on the bed/sofa so it’s softer for him, which I think helps too. This was a baby that would literally scream if I put him on his belly so the difference is amazing.

Make sure they have bare feet for tummy time and rolling practice too, my little one has way more confidence when he can grip with his little toes!

Anyone's baby too big for the Moses, or like now?

She slept through for 4 nights, had to move her into a travel cot as she's too long and now she's waking 2/3 times a night. Prior to sleeping through it was just once.

I've tried resettling but she's not happy till she's being fed! Feel like I'm back in depths of newborn life 😅

@Sunshineclouds11 travel cots are often not that comfortable and she may be feeling less safe in more vast space? My baby woke 3 times last night and it was a huge celebration as it’s by far the best night she has had, so funny how different our experiences can be 😅

"Is he not cold?"
"He needs to wear socks!"
"He needs to be held by people other than his parents!"
"He's starving!"
"He's only asleep now because his feet are covered."

Going insane over the constant negative comments.

We've got a mattress in it but agree it's the space I think.

Oh no! 😅 I know, I thinking everyone's baby will be doing the same 🙈
My 1st DC was terrible for sleep!

Jesus, have you said anything? Got DP to?

@Cheetocat there’s a cultural difference between me and my mil as well. She’s very concerned about me leaving the house with the baby at all and her being cold. She also is very worried that I will put the baby in the sun and let her skin get darker. She doesn’t want her to do tummy time or be in the car seat at all. It’s all very tiring but I try to be understanding whilst also just doing what I want 😅

@Sunshineclouds11 I hope it improves for you again when baby gets used to the space. This one is my third and none of them have been great sleepers but she’s the worst 😂

@Cheetocat just to add, I keep her an appropriate temperature and out of the sun, haha. For her skin health, not for colourism

My partner won't stand up to his family, he tries to explain our reasons for everything and they don't listen, obviously.

Oh god, I’m dreading the Moses basket getting too small… 🤣

EDIT: I actually searched for “large Moses baskets” on Amazon. My boyfriend thinks I’m mental, as we already have a next to me crib!

Maybe try putting a hot water bottle down first to warm the mattress and make it nice and cosy.