Due June 24 💚 - Part 2

[oop]

Thought I'd make a new thread before the old one filled up completely.

Into the second trimester and beyond 😊

Wow and congratulations @Elmlee that's quite a surprise! I hope everything is going well.

Thanks ladies.
I feel pretty shocked, exhausted and have no idea how I have been working as I have!
Loads to do! But excited and a picture of all emotions!

Wow @Elmlee that's total madness!!!! Congratulations! Lucky you're having another girl so at least the clothes are sorted 😅 what a lot to get your head around in a short space of time ! What made you test ?

Well I was on the pill and having investigation for what I thought was a hernia from my first pregnancy. My stomach had been on and off for some time.
was due to go for scans but a few things and I put 2 and 2 together and then I started to get like a nervous like feeling and whirling feeling and I thought…. That’s not normal!
my husband mentioned my nipples looked a touch darker and my nail tech said omg your nails are fantastic… partnered with my hair and I thought I need to test!!! Lo and behold 2 very very dark lines! 😳🥰

@Elmlee how far along did you think you were when you tested? 😅

Certainly not the 25 weeks I was 😂
I went for an appointment the same week and they couldn't hear or feel anything... so thought I'd be v early or not viable.

Big shock 🤣

I am having my second growth scan today (31+6). I'm not looking forward to it, the staff at the Foetal Medicine Centre are very miserable and very doom and gloom about everything. They keep telling me I must have GD but all the tests have been negative.

My growth scans were booked in when I saw the obstetrician at 14 weeks - he was worried my baby would be small due to my medical conditions and asthma.

At my 20 week scan baby was on the 94th centile! He was still at 94th centile at the 28 week scan. He has been breech at every scan and when I saw the midwife this week she said he was still breech. As all my kicks are low down this wasn't a suprise. Obstetrician is considering booking me for a section at 39 weeks if baby is still breech at the 36 week scan.

I've had my bump measured at my last 4 appointments (3 midwife and 1 OB). Apparently it's measuring spot on but two scans at 94th centile means the OB is now convinced baby is massive.

People are funny with bumps though. A few weeks ago within a few days I was told by 1 person that my bump was tiny for this stage, by the midwife that it was spot on and by another person that my bump was huge for this stage 🤣

@DemelzaRobins good luck for your scan today! 🤞🏻

I had my 28 week blood taken yesterday to check if I'm anaemic, and also my anti D injection. My vein is swollen and bruised lol my right arm is completely out of action

@DemelzaRobins people are so weird about bump size. I have constantly been told my bump is "tiny" in this pregnancy despite the fact it's measuring over average and its much bigger than with my first. I think it's just the fact I'm wearing jumpers etc because of the weather this time instead of tighter dresses and tshirts in the summer like last time. So they just can't see it as well. Multiple people also told me I was tiny when I was about 16-20 weeks (which they knew). Which is an odd thing to say when most people don't have any sort of bump by that point 😂

Hope your scan goes well x

@oop Agree people are weird about bump size. I am struggling a bit with comments about my (large) bump size on a small frame - someone I don't even know well said to me cheerfully at work weeks ago "You look ready to pop!" And I wasn't even in the third trimester...

I agree it depends a little on what you're wearing and for me I look slightly bigger in more baggy clothes than the more fitted ones. It's hard not be self conscious but I am trying to embrace it and remind myself how grateful I am to be pregnant!

@DemelzaRobins hope the scan goes well and the medics are more positive. It's lovely to get to see the baby again! Mine is measuring large and I have a C-section booked but tbh I am more comfortable with that anyway. I hope you get the outcome you want.

@Elmlee I can't imagine the shock! How lovely for your little girl to have a sister, though. Wishing you well getting ready for your new baby.

29+1 today finally had another scan and a growth chart plotted!
Baby measuring good.
Shes kicking like mad.
Got midwife apt Monday and finally a consultant appointment Tuesday!
Been told because I've been booked so late and they can't give me a set date it's likely they will induce me at 38/39 weeks.
I'll know more soon. Need my Anti D now!
Still doesn't feel real! Xxx

Scan went well. Same sonographer for my 12 week scan and she was lovely and talked me through everything. It was 2 hours late but she wasn't impatient and let us take some pictures (we didn't get any last time).

Baby is now on 88th centile so still on the larger side of normal. Good news is he is now head down so hopefully he'll still be head down at his 36 week scan. He's currently kicking or punching me just below the ribs 😂

Hi all, hope everyone is doing well today? I’m officially 28 weeks today and it feels completely surreal sometimes that there will be a baby coming out of me (one way or another!) in not a very long amount of time at all! Does anyone else feel very unprepared? 🙈

Also, wanted to ask people’s opinions on how long to wait after birth for visitors? I’ve unfortunately lost my own mum, and my dad has Parkinson’s and lives overseas and lost his confidence after mum passed, so my parents won’t be coming.

But my MIL wants to come straight away, and I would really like 2 weeks ish to settle into the groove of being a mother myself for the first time, to heal, to stop leaking from everywhere so violently, to establish breastfeeding etc. etc. if we were feeling better after a week I would also say it to her and she could come earlier.

i do like her, and we generally get on, but she can be very negative and makes lots of comments generally speaking (like we were looking at buying a house and my husband was really excited about it, and she was like “well that’s not how I imagine a house for a young family AT ALL! I would think you’d want something small and cozy! WHY would you consider buying THAT? (Just a mild example)) and I can see her not respecting my wishes re no kissing the baby, or telling me I’m doing XYZ wrong.

additionally my husband shared my wishes with her last night, and apparently she started crying down the phone at him and started claiming I was stopping her seeing her first and maybe only grandchild etc etc etc - tabloid headlines my husband was calling them. She was saying we’re trying to shut her out and brought up our wedding again (we eloped, then planned to have a big party with everyone afterwards which we had to cancel because I got pregnant and the due date and the wedding were too close together)

am I being unreasonable or unfair to her to ask for these two weeks just to heal and find my feet and get to know the little man? All the above being said, I know she’s really excited, and I very much don’t want to shut her out or stop her meeting her grandson or spending time with him! She’s essentially a good person, and we generally get on. Sorry this got much longer than I intended, any thoughts or advice welcome! 🧡

@El1988 I'm 29 weeks and it feels like there's too much time left 😅 going to go through all my newborn clothes today on my lunch break (WFH)

I'm so sorry your mum isn't here to see her grandchild, and that your dad isn't well and lives overseas. I hope he can meet his grandchild soon. When I had my first, my in laws booked a flight without asking us (they live in Spain and are Spanish) to be here for my due date! MIL, FIL, SIL & BIL which to that I was very overwhelmed and said she might be late and I didn't appreciate having them all here when I was giving birth/had just given birth or waiting to give birth. They changed their flights for a couple of weeks later thankfully and completely respected my wishes. I suppose your MIL lives in the UK and not too far? So it's less of a problem for her actually travelling to see you. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all, ESPECIALLY with your first. She sounds like she is, understandably, very excited but at the same time she is being a bit manipulative which isn't fair because it's your first baby and you're going to be so overwhelmed and tired in the first couple of weeks, baby blues and establishing breastfeeding etc. Absolutely stand by your wishes and she should accept them and respect them. I don't think you need to explain yourself either. It's a very delicate time and you're more than allowed your own rules!! I'm sure she had hers when she gave birth. Good luck! My MIL stayed with us for my second from 37 weeks until 3 weeks after the birth, she flew back with the rest of the family who came 2 weeks after the birth - she can't speak English but she was a great help tbh. Not doing that again this time for space reasons and I'm planning on a home birth so it's not as essential we have childcare. But I don't think they will be flying here until July anyway.

32 weeks so I am starting to see the end of it😂😎 the days are going slow majority of the time but I must admit that the weeks are actually flying by. My hospital bag is pretty much ready and I only have 7 weeks left until my planned c section date which is in end May. Only 4 weeks left at work too-I decided to stop at 36 weeks this time rather than working until 39 weeks like with my first one, I want to enjoy some 1:1 time with my daughter before the baby arrives and to be honest I am so huge and uncomfortable already that I can’t imagine how I’ll feel at 36 weeks😂 Not long left and we will be all holding our little bundles of joy xxx

@El1988 ,
I’m really sorry to hear that you won’t be able to share the excitement of having a child with your mum and I hope you get to show your little bundle of joy to your dad some time in the future.

You shouldn’t feel guilty that you don’t want visitors the first 2 weeks after baby is born. Having a baby is such a huge stress both mentally and physically and the mums wishes should be the driving factor. You also don’t know how your labour will progress and you might need longer recovery time anyway like I did due to an EMCS. It is hard enough trying to recover after the birth, but when you also need to try and establish breastfeeding and learn your way as a new mum you should be left to do it in peace. Sometimes the extended family forgets that the after birth period is not only about the baby-it’s normal for your MiL to be very excited about the arrival but you need time to adjust to the change too and for both you and your husband to get used to your new role of being parents. Obviously, if you change your mind after baby is born you can invite MiL to come visit before the 2 weeks are over, but if this is not the case she should accept your preference. Just be firm with her and don’t feel guilty about it xx

Also 32 weeks here and a bit alarmed by how soon I'll have another baby 😂

@El1988 it's a very personal thing. My parents met my first the night I came home from hospital which was a tad overwhelming but manageable because I'm very close with them. My in laws the next day I think, although we're close with them too. I did want to give them an opportunity to meet the little one straight away even if I personally was feeling a bit ragged.
I think it's very dependent on your relationship with them, the type of people they are (mine wouldn't dream of expecting me to make them a cuppa for example, they waited on me) and whether they expect to stay over or for a long time. My family are round the corner so they could literally come round to meet him for an hour or so and then leave and give us space which was perfect.
It sounds like your MIL is being very manipulative about it all, I'd look at suggesting she comes to meet baby after x amount of time e.g. a few days or a week or whatever you're comfortable with but that it'll have to be a short visit at first as you'll still be recovering and you're not comfortable breastfeeding etc in front of people yet. Express that you're excited for her to meet baby but also clear in your boundaries.

32 weeks here too and probably time to start doing all the things I've been telling myself it's too early for! I have started grabbing a pack of nappies and some wipes with each food shop so we've got a stockpile, and I'm going to do my hospital bag at the weekend.

I had a midwife appointment, 32 week scan AND consultant appointment today and all looking good! I'm 40 though so they're keeping an eye and have booked me another growth scan for end of month.

In terms of visits, both our Mums live a flight away. Mine has booked a visit for 5 weeks after our due date so we've still got time to settle in even if I go over. DH's Mum will wait and see and maybe come August or September (she's 4 grandkids deep already so she's not in a rush ). I told DH that I didn't mind his DSIS who lives nearby coming on day 2/3 so long as it's a quick visit and it's just her and not partner and DC too, but he insists we'll play it by ear for that.

29 weeks here and feeling completely unprepared. I think I've forgotten everything from the first time round! Just hoping it comes back to me 😅 I really need to sort through what we've still got from DS1 and figure out what we need to get hold of...

30 weeks this week and time is flying by ! I've started washing and sorting old baby clothes, but far from ready with everything else !
I have another growth scan on Thursday and looking forward to seeing how little babe is doing.
I had my weekly gym class tonight and the instructor has told me I have to stop coming in May 😞 only 3 more weeks ! Tbh I'm sure I'll be ready to stop by then but feeling a bit sad to not be able to continue, I really enjoy it ! (It's a very tame class!)

@El1988 I agree with @oop it's very relationship dependent. I absolutely understand wanting time to be in your newborn bubble but can also understand your MIL (maybe not her reactions!). I wouldn't put too much pressure on it, a visit to meet the baby for an hour or two wouldn't rock the boat. If you did decide she could come a little sooner, I'd make sure your partner knows that he'll be in charge of teas (if they're not already the kind of people who would help themselves) and that you might use the time for a nap or a shower if you wanted! Although from how you've described her, you may want to stick around so you can keep an eye on her with the baby 😅. Basically all I'm saying is, try not to overthink it ! My in laws (inc brothers and sisters) met both mine the day they were born.. and I met my neices and nephews they day they were born ! Maybe this isn't the norm though !? Anyway, i hope you're not worrying about it, it's a very special time for everyone !! X

@El1988 I could have written your post!

My mum also isn’t around (she died last year) and my dad lives abroad half of the year. Fortunately, he is in good health so will come back around the due date - we live in the same city.

My parents-in-law live in the UK, but are about 8 hours away. When we saw them a few weeks ago they were telling a family friend how they’d be dropping everything to come to visit straight away once I go into labour, for an undefined amount of time. I asked where they were going to stay and MIL said they’d be staying with us! They had never been invited and this hadn’t been discussed or asked, so I was completely thrown. DH was in the shower, so I just said we’d need to see about visits closer to the time and checked with him after if he’d said they could stay - he hadn’t!

I was really upset by it, because I felt they put me in such a horrible situation to have to say no, when I understand they’re just keen to meet their first grandchild. We haven’t talked to them about it since, but when the dust settles I’ll suggest that they could stay with my Dad. They could get an Airbnb, but I think they’re worried about last minute availability and cost. However, I’ve decided there is no way they are staying with us immediately postpartum. Maybe after a few weeks/months, but I will need to have my own space after the birth and to start breastfeeding etc.

Sorry, that was a bit of a rant, but I feel your pain!

Otherwise, I have my 28 week midwife appointment today. Curious to know how I’m measuring as everyone is still telling me I’m tiny (not a great thing to hear, actually) but I’m feeling huge. Should also get bloods and anti-D too.

We have been busily prepping the house for baby. Moved in last year and have been doing g all the jobs we’d been putting off. Realising I’ve not got the pre-pregnancy stamina for decorating has been frustrating, and I hate not being able to get stuck in and lift/move stuff myself. But I’m learning to take more breaks and be patient, and DH is very good at telling me to take it easy if I need to. Once the house is done we’ll focus on baby stuff, have a John Lewis appointment booked for mid May, so will hopefully feel more organised after that!

My advise would be don't tell anyone your going in to labour. I'll also say this for all you ladies.
Unless you have other children who need childcare.
Don't tell people you're going in.
I told nobody with baby no 1 when we were going in. I didn't want to constant messages all the time.
I got through Labour and my induction and had the delightful message to share when baby was born.
Good thing is you can delay announcing and give yourselves 24/48 hrs or longer if needed.
Our DD was born in Covid so we got like 1 week in hospital with no visitors to get ourselves sorted.
This time round the thought of visitors is an odd concept! 😅😅

32 weeks here as well and I’m counting down the days until my section in just over 6 weeks 😂 baby is super low down and I’m starting to get uncomfortable now!

I just won’t allow visitors in the house after the baby is born and neither will my husband. We had my first during height of lockdown so we didn’t have this problem although my father in law was harassing us via phone on the day of my section. Was texting and calling my husband and when he didn’t reply (because we were in the operating theatre) he began texting and calling my phone! I’m a little busy, can you wait for an update please?!?!

Im lucky that my friends and family are super understanding and respectful regarding visits and we have minimal contact with my MiL so we probably won’t even tell her until a week or so after (she’s a vile woman).

I think if I was in a position where someone was trying to impose a visit I’d be quite blunt though. ‘We won’t be having any visitors for at least the first week or so as we’ll be adjusting to our new lives, getting to know our baby and ensuring my vagina doesn’t fall out of me.’ The last bit will keep them quiet. If they go down the, ‘ahh you’re taking the experience of meeting my grandchild away from me’, I’d reply that it’s not about them, it’s about giving the baby the best start in life and ensuring both parents are comfortable and happy with the setup.

My MIL has been great and even said we may not want her to visit straight away when baby is born. She will have to get two trains and the tube to us so won't be able to come at short notice.

My parents will also need to get two trains and the tube to us and also practically won't be able to get to us at short notice. My mother wasn't impressed when I said I would tell her when I was ready for visitors and may want to wait a day or two. Even though her own mother didn't visit her until I was 6 weeks old!

Mum's easier to deal with than MIL in the sense I don't mind my Mum seeing me establishing feeding etc but I may not want to see her within hours of a section or pushing a large baby out. I have no idea how I will feel.

At least they're all far away enough they can't camp outside the hospital whilst I'm in labour!

Whyyyyyy do people feel it is necessary to comment on the size of your bump?? My midwife measured me bang on for dates at my 28 week appointment and yet in the last week I've had several people comment that they can't believe I'm not due until June, one ask me if I 'am really going to keep getting bigger' and the classic 'are you sure it's not twins?'.

FUCK. OFF.

Ahaha @Wheeeeee I get this too 😅😭 every time I see one particular friend she goes "whoooaahh" and today when I told her I was measuring exactly right she said "but you're just sticking out sooo much!?" 🙈🙈 she has two children so it's not like she's never been pregnant before.. how does she not remember what it's like !! I've been lying about my due date 🤣 because I got so sick of hearing the "are you sure it's not twins" and "how can you have that long left" comments from my first pregnancies. You are right.. everyone can f off !! 😆😆 and let me enjoy my cake and pastries 😅