Bonking our way to BFPs: rainbow babies due Spring/Summer 24'

[Kewchoc]

@Amberellalina
@Liz2681
@Agathapoirot
@tlw14
@HashB

Hello ladies!! I feel like I've forgotten someone but not sure who?!

@Kewchoc I think I’m going to wait until I’ve seen the consultant. Because I’m over 40 and had an assisted delivery with a haemorrhage last time it’s possible they will want to induce me at 39 weeks. Not sure how likely this is but I should know more after my appointment.

How about you? Did you have any complications with DS?

@Amberellaella Oh gosh, that sounds like a difficult experience, I've always been absolutely terrified of haemorrhaging! Did you have to stay in hospital a while? No, I had a planned c-section with ds and it all went very smoothly, almost too smoothly as it felt like I'd just attended a routine appointment then suddenly had a child! My pregnancy with ds really impacted my mental health in a negative way and when he was born I didn't want to hold him or really have him anywhere near me for quite a while. I've always felt massive guilt over it so I'm really hoping for a much better experience this time around!

Awwww mate @Kewchoc, so sorry you had to go through that. That was actually my biggest fear because my mum is bipolar which supposedly puts you more at risk for ante and post natal mental health issues. Are you seeing someone for it this time?

I was physically Ok after the birth, got to go home the next day, so didn’t really think about it much. It’s now I’ve (hopefully) got to do it again that I’ve properly realised how dicey things were for a while

I’ve got a ‘listening with mother’ appointment booked where they go through all the details of your last birth with you so you properly understand what went on and can then use the info to plan for next time.

I finally got to 12 weeks!! I had my scan this week and I felt sick with nerves but so relieved to be at 12 weeks, this is the furthest I’ve ever got.

Congratulations! Wonderful news 🥰

Yaaayyyyyy! Congrats @HashB ☺️

@Kewchoc how are you getting on? Do you have your 20 week scan next week as well? Mine’s on Thursday and I’m getting pretty anxious about it…

Not sure if anyone is checking this thread anymore but I thought I’d just share that I had my 20 week scan today and everything was fine.

Looks like I’m actually having a baby in July 😮

@Amberellaella Congrats! Did you find out if you’re having a boy or a girl?

@Amberellaella Congratulations!! Over half way there! Glad everything was looking good. I had a 16 week scan last week to see a very wriggly baby, which I think I’m starting to feel move excitingly!

Thanks both! We already knew he is a boy - tiny man parts also developing nicely ☺️

Treated myself to a new (nappy changing) backpack in celebration 🥳

@Amberellaella Hello! Sorry I've been awol, been finding things rather difficult recently and just not had the energy to socialise, even through a virtual medium!

Great news about your 20 week scan! 🥰 did you take dd again? Is she getting more excited as due date approaches? Good choice of treat - I may do the same as the one I had for ds is absolutely wrecked from nursery! Have you had this apparent wave of energy we're supposed to get in the second trimester? Even though we're almost going into the third now 😲

My 20 week scan is annoyingly not until I'm 21 weeks so I don't have it til next Sunday! Feeling ok about it though, I thought I'd be a lot more nervous than what I am. I am finding that my mental health is definitely taking a turn like it did last time and anxiety is getting really bad, though bizarrely it's more directed at ds than this pregnancy in that I keep going into an absolute panic there's something really wrong with him. Its as if my brain just can't comprehend I'm going to have 2 children and so is expecting to lose one of them and as the pregnancy is progressing nicely the fear has been passed on to ds. It's absolutely illogical and he literally doesn't have any symptoms of anything, but over the last few weeks I've self diagnosed him with about 6 different terminal illnesses 🫠

@Amberellaella that's lovely news - congrats! 😊 X

Thanks both ☺️

Nope, no burst of energy yet. But the sickness has just about gone so I’m feeling much better anyway.

@Kewchoc really sorry to hear that you’re struggling with the anxiety. We’re here if you need anything, even if only to obsess…
Are you seeing someone for the anxiety? You shouldn’t have to suffer alone.

@Amberellaella Thank you, a referral was sent through to perinatal last week so hoping I get an appointment through soon. I was with them last time and they made a huge difference so hopefully I will feel better once I do get sorted with them.

Annoyingly, my bloods at my booking appointment came back saying I had high haemoglobin levels, so they did another blood test which thankfully came back normal. However the fact the first one was abnormal has made me spiral a bit as I read up and it can be an early indicator of preeclampsia, so now I'm obsessing over that!
I also thought I'd managed to avoid too much trauma from the miscarriage but I think it's starting to creep in now and make me nervous... when I was in hospital for that the doctor didn't seem to know what she was doing - she tried to discharge me while I was still haemorrhaging and hadn't even passed the baby and after she left my room I collapsed on the floor and bled all over it, woke up to her and lots of nurses around me hooking me up to drips and her panicking saying she needed to get the baby out there and then so lifted me back onto the bed and performed what I can only assume was a D&C except I was already dilated, so she just pulled and scraped the baby out while I was awake without any pain relief, which was obviously horrendous, but is also causing me a lot of stress thinking about how bad it could have been and what if she's working when I go in to have this baby or someone who's just as bad is working and doesn't notice there's something wrong with me or the baby and something awful happens

@Kewchoc gosh that experience sounds horrendous - I'm not surprised you've experienced trauma as a result. It definitely sounds like you would benefit from mental health support around it. I know hospitals usually offer birth trauma counselling - I wonder if there could be something similar around miscarriage trauma? I'm any case, I would think one of the bereavement nurses or someone should be able to support you through and go over things with you a bit. I imagine it's also possible to name a doctor you don't want on your team in a case of severe anxiety/trauma too... Worth exploring.

Meanwhile, try not to panic overly about preeclampsia. My sister actually had it and they still had time to give steroids and deliver a tiny but healthy girl at 34wks by c-section. She didn't even need NICU! My sister had a further successful pregnancy after that. I'm classed as high risk due to family risk so was monitored carefully with my first pregnancy. I did get gestational hypertension in my third trimester but never full blown preeclampsia. Delivered naturally at 41+1. I think it's very much one of those things that if it's on their radar that's only ever a good thing. Are you on aspirin? I am, and will also be on some sort of injections from 28wks due to also having a family history of DVT (again, my Sis from 1st pregnancy!) - bit daunting but I know I they're doing everything they can to keep me and little one safe.

Nerves and anxiety are only natural after everything you've been through but remember how great it is that you've got this far and that things are progressing well. You've got this 🥰 Hope you get some good support in place soon. Xx

@Kewchoc good to hear that you’re getting some help ☺️ hopefully you’ll get the appointment soon.

God, that mc experience does sound horrendous. Do you have the name of the doctor? You could have it put in your notes that you definitely don’t want her again under any circumstances. I’m sure they’d be willing to accommodate - if not you could make a formal complaint.

Agree re: trying not to worry about pre-eclampsia. It might sound a bit mad, but we have a blood pressure monitor at home (I think it was about £20 from Boots) and I find it helpful to use that regularly and reassure myself I’m definitely not in p-e territory 😂

I’m having the birth trauma counselling - should get the appointment soon so will feedback…

@Kewchoc how did you get on with your 20 week scan? Anxiety any better?

Had my 16wk appointment today. Was a bit nervous but nothing like previously. Healthy heartbeat heard with Doppler 🥰

Awww, yay @SnookyPook! That’s great news. It seems to be massively variable with who gets to hear the heartbeat and who doesn’t. How are you feeling now?

@Amberellaella thank you! It's starting to feel a bit more real now! I feel like I'm finally relaxing into it all a bit more. Still have my moments but fewer and further between!

How are you getting on? X

@Amberellaella Just had my 20 week scan and everything perfect 🥰 unfortunately anxiety is much worse rather than better but I have my first perinatal appointment in a couple of weeks which I'm hoping helps. Sorry I'm so MIA just finding things hard, but glad to hear everything is going well for everyone xx

I’m basically fine now. Feeling ‘normal’ physically and he’s a very active baby which is SO helpful for the anxiety.

Sorry to hear you’re still struggling @Kewchoc. Any thing we can do to help?

@Amberellaella Glad to hear you're feeling normal, it's about time! Have you had any other new joys of pregnancy creeping in? My pelvis is starting to give me some problems and getting a lot of round ligament pain, but I'm not surprised because I'm absolutely huge compared to last time - feel a bit concerned about how big I'm going to be by the end!!

Thank you for asking but I don't think anyone can help except me unfortunately. I do have my first appointment with the perinatal health team on Tuesday next week which I'm looking forward to as they were really helpful last time. I just seem to be so stuck on panicking that because I'm having another baby, something terrible is going to happen to ds, even though I know it's completely illogical I'm just constantly diagnosing him with all sorts of different illnesses then going down these spirals where I'm convinced he definitely has whatever illness I'm focussed on at the time. It's an absolute nightmare to be honest!

@Kewchoc bless you that sounds horrible. Hopefully your appointment with the perinatal MH team will prove useful and they'll be able to give you some valuable tools for combating those scary thoughts. I had a sort of milder version of that in the early weeks of this pregnancy with suddenly feeling my DS was really vulnerable and became hyper aware of his mortality. Also got terrified of me dying and leaving him without a Mum etc. Thankfully those thought trains didn't really persist and I've not been down those dark spirals for a while. I can only imagine how distressing it is to be tormented by thoughts like that on a constant basis. Really hope you get some relief soon. 💗

I'm 18+3 and can't quite believe it still. I've found the anxious thoughts just beginning to creep in a bit ahead of the 20wk scan (March 28th). I think I may ask my community midwife for another listen in with the Doppler before the scan, as the thought of going in 'blind' is a bit daunting. She was lovely at my 16wk appointment and said to go back any time the anxiety ramped up, so I will. Although, I also think I am occasionally feeling Bubba now. Unfortunately not yet certain enough to have me convinced but it's pretty distinctive from gas etc and takes me back to my pregnancy with my son, so I think it must be little one. Looking forward to it being more certain and more regular now!

Hope everyone else is doing well 🥰