3rd degree tear recovery stories

[Mumofonexo]

Hi All,

9 weeks ago I gave birth to my little one. I ended up with a forceps delivery and a 3b tear.

For weeks I suffered with urgency when needing a bm but this has now significantly reduced and some days it’s now non existent.

I’ve started physical therapy but I’m just wondering if there’s anything else I can do to help myself?

I’ve read some horror stories online that basically indicates I will end up bowel incontinent because of this injury when I reach menopause age? I’d love to hear from people older than me (31) who are ok 😞

I feel so broken in my body and mind by what’s happened.

I just want to say thank you to everyone that’s posted so far. I’m feeling allot more positive about getting older reading some of your comments 💗 my biggest worry has been the bowel issues that I’ve read about online.
I’m going to stop reading the horror stories as it’s severely affecting my mental health.

Thank you! And that's with a 2nd shoulder dystocia birth, with an episiotomy & a 3rd C-Section due to other complications (polyhydramnious)

Good to see you're feeling better about this

@Mumofonexo Thank you for this post! There have been so many incredible women posting and sharing their stories 🥰

You really are in the thick of it, but it's something I can talk about really easily now! You'll look back in 6 months and it'll hopefully feel lighter.

I also loved hearing the positive c section stories. I don't think I'm brave enough to risk it happening again (my physio's words echo in my ear "it's harder to recover from a tear to a tear") although I love hearing the positive vaginal birth stories post 3rd degree tear.

@Mumofonexo P.S sorry about the accidental GIF 🙈🤣

@LeopardLover Thank you 😊 All of us mummies need to stick together especially going through something so traumatic that no one really talks about 💗 haha love the gif

Also to anyone that’s had the bum ultrasound does it hurt? And how many months pp do they normally offer one? 🙈

@Mumofonexo Nah it didn't hurt. It was maybe eight weeks later?

@TheBirdintheCave That’s good to know it doesn’t hurt and that they can do it so quickly afterwards I thought I’d have to wait a year or something x

Yes I had the bum ultrasound and no it didn’t hurt. I can’t remember how long after giving birth it was im sorry. I remember going along with my mum and baby though. I think I had a vaginal one too. Was given exercises to do and told that if I didn’t then I’d probably have a prolapse in the future. I probably did them about twice 😬😬😬 and I’m fine at the moment (43 - 11 years later). I’m not menopausal yet and I guess it could all change but, honestly I don’t even worry about it.

I have never actually posted on here before but after reading your post I just had to. I had 3rd degree tears following a forceps delivery too, and emergency surgery and 3 blood transfusions immediately following delivery, and I spend so much time in tears during my recovery.. I could barely walk for a few weeks. I was in doubly incontinent. While in the hospital they had to switch me into the bed closest to the toilet but I still couldn't make it to the loo.. I came home and honestly thought I'd never be right. I remember people coming to see the baby and farting with zero warning and feeling so so embarrassed and thinking how will I ever go back to work.

I used to do a lot of running and I havnt been able to get back to that just yet (I have a prolapse after everything which complicates things a little) but I am back walking and doing yoga and have no issues with urgency or anything any more. I was really worried too I wouldn't be able to wear tampons but I can. I'm only just now starting to feel semi 'normal' during sex, it still feels different I have to say, but it no longer hurts or feels uncomfortable. My baby is 8 months old.

I also worry about my prolapse getting worse with age but not even as much any more.. you too will get back to feeling like you. X

@QuarkBlisterbum glad to hear it doesn’t hurt 🙈 did you get the all clear? And if you get the all clear does that mean you’ll be ok when your older did they say?

Ive heard of people with a prolapse that haven’t even had children tbh. I’ve been doing some kegals every day for the past few weeks because I’m paranoid at the moment. But I can imagine as time goes on I’ll probably forget..

@Q13 oh gosh bless you that’s allot to deal with 😞 did they grade your tear?

Have you tried wearing a pessary? I’ve heard they are meant to be good and you can avoid surgery. Also did you get referred to physical therapy? X

I had a third degree tear 22 years ago with my son .. he was 9 lbs 8 and a shoulder dystocia .. the worst bit was the stitching up afterwards .. and I won’t lie I felt very delicate down there for months .. but no bladder or bowel issues related to that .. I had two more babies and just a graze .. and I’m in my fifties now and no issues apart from usual peri symptoms x

@Rockschooldropout very pleased to hear you healed well with no issues 😊

ouch I can imagine! I had a spinal so never felt anything until that wore off, and boy did it hurt even to sit up 🥴 yes my poor bum still feels very delicate nearly 10 weeks on x

I know I was still feeling raw down there at ten weeks post partum .. I felt like id never want sex again ! Everything did recover down there ..
Try not to google and just concentrate on healing and your new baby 😊

I had a 3a tear with my eldest 16 years ago, fully recovered now. Recovery was slow but after a year I felt back to normal. It was traumatic at the time as it impacted on whether I should have any future children or not....ended up having three more children!

DC2 second degree tear, DC3 second degree tear and DC4 was an EMCS (fretting about tears was futile as I didn't get a chance due to the urgency of being blue lighted to hospital).

I would honestly recommend asking your midwife or health visitor for a debrief. I had one after my youngest child was born due to birth trauma. It was incredibly important for me in helping me to process what I went through.

Wishing you a speedy recovery 🤗

@Rockschooldropout Lol I currently feel the same like nothings ever going up there again 😂🙈 I’ve had to stop googling because it was making me poorly with stress and anxiety 😞 but I’m loving everyone’s positive stories it’s making me feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel x

Sorry I forgot to add, another one here who has no lasting damage with bladder and/or bowel function after the third degree tear.

My DD is now 33. I had a 3b tear giving birth to her. The scar tissue is still present and if i get piles (tmi) its very painful because they're closer together after stitches. Have to make sure very clean incase risk of infection (vag closer proximity to anus after op). My daughter was nearly 9lb and im petite 5ft lol. Im perimenopausal and ive had no issues bladder , bowels np bar constipation but thats meds.

In 2017 I had a third degree tear (3b I believe). I made a mumsnet post about 24 hours later as I was scared for the future and so regretful I didn’t just have a c section. However, 6 years later it’s not something I ever think about and causes me no issues at all. Please try not to worry much.

@Vettrianofan wow that’s brilliant you didn’t get anymore bad tears and recovered well 😊

I just feel too traumatised to even think about anymore right now. I will definitely ask for a debrief it might be next year as it’s still very raw but it’s something I’d like to do to put a lid on things if you know what I mean.

and thank you 💗 just glad the weathers got cold and rainy it’s a perfect excuse to snuggle the baby and watch Netflix x

@Loubelle70 so happy to hear your ok 😊 oh the joys of being a woman ahy!

@Magicmonster I feel like no one really talked about tearing badly when I was pregnant so I didn’t expect it 🥴 and I did all the worst things and googled the crap out of 3rd degree tears and read so many horror stories I’ve not slept properly for weeks because I’ve been worrying. But I’m glad your ok and that’s another positive outcome 💗

I'm 44 with no bowel issues or any "downstairs" problems. My eldest was born in 2005 and I had an episiotomy when he was quite forcefully removed with forceps. Three years later I had a very quick vaginal birth with a 10lb baby, so had a very untidy 3rd degree tear - my previous episiotomy scar had torn.
The healing process took a while (god bless lavender oil baths) but I've never had any repercussions with my pelvic floor or incontinence.
I hope your healing journey goes smoothly x

I had a 3rd degree tear with my second son who is now age 28. I’m post menopausal now (age 60) and I have no difficulties. I was very thorough about doing the exercises, I still do them! Congratulations on the birth of your baby.