Due October 2023 Thread 8

[Chanteuse]

New thread for our October group - third trimester time!!

@Alexandra07 I'd agree with heads in sleeping bags... I bought a newborn one or 0-3 month last time and she would have easily fit her head through the hole, which is why I reverted to a blanket and layers as needed.

I hope so. I'm going to need rolled onto the ward at this rate 😅

Solidarity to anyone else feeling blue. So cross with myself because I'm so happy and grateful I'm getting to experience pregnancy and love little one so much already, so not sure why I'm feeling so down - I've had terrible insomnia the last four nights so think it's a combination of that and hormones I guess.

Going to need to seriously consider starting mat leave at least a little bit sooner than planned. I'm self employed and currently only have one week before my c section. The rate I'm going tiredness and pain (sciatica mainly) wise, I could really do with at least two and ideally three weeks off beforehand.

@monsteramunch you are not alone, and I think it's completely normal that this stage. I'm also back and forth with insomnia (currently sleeping ok again thank god) and sciatica that is on and off. My mood can change day to day, or even hour to hour some days. I can't wait to finish work because I just don't have the mental capacity any more!

I feel like a heffalump. Being bigger combined with increasingly limited mobility is getting me down.

It's actually putting me off a c section because I have another ten weeks to go, and I hate being inactive, it makes me depressed.

Also getting the joys of my first stretch marks, random spots, and a return of dandruff.

Solidarity re insomnia, everyone keeps telling me it’ll be worse when the baby arrives (which a) is just the worst response to someone telling you they’re exhausted and b) I’m waking up every half Hour and last night didn’t sleep after 3.30am so I’m not sure quite how much worse it can get)

Yeah I'm getting pretty sick of the 'if you think you're tired now, just wait til the baby arrives' crew! We all know that it's likely to be the case so it's sod all use pointing it out to us, is it?!

Feeling desperate for rest now. Really hope I can sleep tonight. Problem with insomnia is the longer it goes on the more anxious you feel at night and it makes it worse!

Hi ladies, just got back from 31 week midwife appointment and baby is all good which is fab. I felt really awkward and put off though as my midwife kept pushing the idea of the birth centre (40 mins from the hospital) and giving me tons of statistics as to why it’s better for me to have baby at the birth centre. I have always been set on the hospital because if anything goes wrong then I’m in the right place for it etc, plus if I needed to be transferred to the hospital it would be via ambulance and take about 40 mins without traffic! I found it really pushy and didn’t like it. Anyone else had to deal with a pushy midwife? I struggle to assert myself at the best of times but defo need to get better at it. X

@Summer022 that's not good you feel she's being very pushy 🙁I have my 31 week appointment next week so will see what my midwife is like then, but so far she's just mentioned 'have you thought about where you would like to give birth yet' etc. However I am in the same mindset as you as there is no way I want to be away from the hospital grounds, the idea of needing to be transferred and how long that would potentially take fills me with anxiety. Luckily my midwife said they have a unit within the hospital itself that is a midwife led birth centre unit, so if I needed to be transferred for any reason it would literally be down the hall to labour ward. So I'm happy to go to that birth centre but do not want to go to a stand alone birth centre. Is there defo not anything similar attached or within your hospital? Otherwise you need to go with what you feel most relaxed and comfortable with and if that's the labour ward at the hospital, then that's what it is.

Any other first timers getting a bit nervous about the birth? I thought I was doing okay and I’ve been feeling really positive thanks to hypnobirthing but I randomly clicked on a MN post earlier which turned out to be a horror story in disguise (definitely should have had a trigger warning) and it’s scared the life out of me!
I know there’s only one way she’s coming out now but I guess I just wanted to get it out there to see if anyone else was feeling the same?
34 weeks on Saturday!!!!

@Sagittarius25 It just felt so uncomfortable and like I couldn’t say no
to it, though I know I definitely can and will make myself clear at my 34 week appointment. I just feel so much more comfortable being within the hospital grounds than at a stand-alone birth centre. The thought of being transferred in an emergency really frightens me. Hopefully once I tell her my choice she will just leave me be with it, just wish I had asserted myself better today! Feel frustrated that I got a bit flustered but felt on the spot and wasn’t expecting her to be pushy about it. A different midwife who did my 8 week booking appointment asked me my preference and had no issues with me saying I’d prefer the hospital. Maybe it’s my hormones but it’s got me down a bit 🙁

@monsteramunch and @FirstTimeMamaAtHalloween do you have any alternatives of places to sleep in the house? we have a spare room with ikea sofa bed in and I can't even count how many times just moving to this bed at a random hour in the night allows me to fall asleep, literally just the change of scenery and a different bed and I'm then asleep. It's either that or sometimes I kick DH out so I can have the space in our double 😂

@Summer022 I also had a different midwife at my booking who asked me and turned round and said 'yep most first timers prefer to be in the hospital and that's fine' - regardless if it's your first or not you have the choice and it should be respected. Try not to feel too down about it, I know the hormones don't help. Just go to your 34 week appointment with it set in your mind and I'm sure she will get the message.

It's interesting to see all the different options. Where I am it is hospital or nothing. Next nearest hospital is 40 miles away!!
Is a birth centre better in that it's all they do there or just the same?

@VanillaOat yes! Also 34 weeks on Saturday so we must have the same due date and feeling exactly the same - nervous about the whole hospital experience, being on a ward without partner etc, tearing/stitches the lot!

@Summer022 it's really frustrating how much we have to advocate for ourselves during pregnancy and labour. I'd stand firm on your plans for a birth centre at a hospital. For my first I was sold the dream of the local unit, and it seemed to be what everyone in the area did but I had a terrible time and had to transfer to the hospital because the baby was struggling. All was fine in the end but it was unnecessarily stressful all round and I felt guilty about going there in the first place. 2nd baby was born in the birth centre at the hospital and it was a much more positive experience.

Also I really sympathise with those with insomnia, I had a terrible bought of it while on holiday with my last pregnancy. My body just didn't seem to be able to adapt to the time change and I didn't sleep for days. It was awful

@Sagittarius25 oooh that’s a good call actually-we have an ikea day bed in the baby’s room so maybe next time I’ll just nip in there!

@Summer022 I haven't had my birth plan appointment yet but have started writing one out. For similar reasons to you I absolutely want a hospital setting, especially as I'm going to be induced if I haven't had the baby by 39 weeks

Maybe try writing your plan for you 34 week appointment and taking a copy and say you've made your decision. I think if you appear prepared and firm, they're less likely to try and push anything. It's why I've written mine out. And make sure you've asked your birth partner to advocate for you when you do go into hospital

done my first wash of vests and baby grows this morning, they look so dinky on the washing line 😍

@monsteramunch I’m in the same boat; incredibly grateful to be having a child and the blessing that that is but not enjoying most parts of pregnancy. Keep reminding myself that being pregnant isn’t the end goal here but the guilt over being uncomfortable and sad is definitely real, especially as we struggled with infertility and were almost fully set on adopting.

@Summer022 my midwife was the same but with encouraging a home birth at one of our appointments and it really threw me off! I’m the same I want to be in the hospital so pushing for AMU and she’s been fine with that every appointment since.

@monsteramunch and @doeandfawn I am same, struggled to get pregnant for over 10 years and feel very guilty that I am not enjoying pregnancy - most of the time anyway. I am now also suffering from insomnia and to make matters worse, it is affecting my sugar readings. I am worried they will put me on medication although my levels are fine if I am rested. It is such a crazy journey. I keep trying to remind myself why am I doing this and that I have 8 weeks left, so not long to go.

My midwives were super encouraging to equip myself with the information on natural birth and hypnobirthing because we don't know, the baby can decide to come on its own. But all the doctors are pushing for c-section, some even speak as this is the only option. I was told in no nice words last time that "I am the oldest patient they ever had" and they sort of expected that I will just agree to whatever they say, because you know - be grateful you are even pregnant and this far along. I visited Labour ward yesterday and it was very clinical with lots of machines, while Birth centre was cosy and nice. I don't think they'll allow me there but it was nice to see what to expect.

Has anyone been told their belly measured slightly smaller …. I went at 28wks and was bang on average, but I got a diff midwife today (31wks+2) and she said that, didn’t tell me exact measurements. She said not to worry however I can’t help but panic 😅😅😅

@NSx I wouldn't worry too much - they are using tape measure, hardly an exact science. If they would be worried, you'd be scheduled for another growth scan.

@NSx yes! I had the exact same thing, 28 weeks was fine and then 31 weeks she said my bump was small. She sent me for a growth scan which I had 2 days later and they said baby was measuring normal for most but her head is on the smaller side. My mum was with me and joked it’s good she has a small head as I’ve got to push it out 🤣

I think even if bump is measuring small most of the time baby still measures within the normal range. Did she offer a growth scan or wasn’t the midwife concerned? I wouldn’t worry as every midwife measures differently and room for so much error Xxx