Due January Part 4! 🎉

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I can’t see a new part 4 as part 3 is now at 1000 replies!

I've struggled to find a Nanny that will accept the childcare payments though! None round this way will? Does yours accept it @Mummyme87 ? I might just keep looking. My sister has recently taken on an Au Pair, very envious of that ha.

And childminders are always full too, was my preference too as loved DS1 having a childminder but then we moved.

@Kalodin I had to pay for my nanny to be OFSTED registered so she could accept tax free childcare payments

@Onedayatatime24 i did that with my holiday last time I came off mat leave. Not sure what I’ll do this time as I’m already part time. Seems silly to use it to go down to 1 or 2 days a week! Might just add it on to my mat leave so I get a few weeks extra paid

@Onedayatatime24 if your work will let you carry your holiday over that would be a great solution! Mine says I have to use it in the year it's earned so will have to bookend mat leave with it I think.

@buckingmad how did you find it? I do want to go back to work but still think I'll miss baby working 4 days! Maybe you could tag it on the end of yours and have an extra month or so off?

@TunnocksTCake ahh that's annoying, I'll need to figure it out with them but they're usually quite flexible so fingers crossed. I was reading this - I'm not sure if it's a legal requirement that they let you carry or if it's at your employers discretion? All the rules are so confusing aren't they, I have no clue what I'm entitled to!

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/maternity-and-parental-rights/check-your-maternity-and-parental-rights/rights-while-pregnant-or-on-maternity-leave/rights-while-youre-on-maternity-leave/#:~:text=You%20build%20up%20holiday%20as,into%20your%20next%20holiday%20year.

@Onedayatatime24 i work monday Wednesday and Thursdays and for me it’s perfect. We’re lucky in that we can make the finances work to do that. I do struggle sometimes with feeling like I’m not contributing as much to the family funds but then need to remind myself I’m saving us money too on dog walker and nursery!

I’ve contemplated upping to 4 days but my DH is away with army so much that it’s just too much juggling it all on my own.

@buckingmad I don't think you can win either way, you'll either feel guilt for not contributing to finances or guilty for spending less time with the family! Just got to do what works best all round, so tough knowing what to do though without feeling like you're missing stuff at home.

It's our first so I've never had to think about it before and my jaw dropped when I saw nursery costs, never had any idea! Feeling very lucky the free childcare hours are changing, just hope we can get a spot somewhere.

Congratulations @kipperba . Wishing the best of luck for your scan!!!

Thanks @Onedayatatime24 all helpful info.
I'm exactly the same as you, this is my 1st and had no idea of the costs and what we had to do this early 🙈

For those looking at childcare costs, if you and your partner work you can take 20% off if you use tax free childcare as well.

Im not sure on all the ins and outs but basically you pay the nursery from a special government account, and the government put in 20% (I think it’s capped at £2k per year) but better than nothing. This also works for after school clubs etc (way in the future!)

Yes tax free childcare is very helpful. It can be used to pay for any OFSTED registered setting including childminder/nanny/summer clubs etc. it’s up to the age of 11yrs. So I have two kids in my account who get up to £2k each a year towards childcare. Better than a kick in the teeth

@Mushroo thank you again! Fab tips! I’m learning so much from you ladies.

@kipperba massive congratulations to you x

Those of you who've been through this before, any tips on not freaking out in this patch between 12 and 20 week scan? I'm hardly having any symptoms, no real bump (although have looked fatter for ages it's just crisps and gas!), keep being so paranoid!

NHS screening has come back high for downs syndrome, she did say it's to be expected due to my age, but now have to go for an NIPT, don't want anything invasive until I have to! 😪

@Matildahoney im sorry to hear that, must be so so worrying. How soon is the NIPT? I think the turnaround is pretty fast so hopefully not long to wait to get some more info.

@Matildahoney sorry you have to go through that, really hope the NIPT can be arranged quickly for you

Morning ladies,

Hope you're all ok.

I've had DS's cold and felt like utter crap. It's worse that you're limited to what you can take when pregnant. Looking forward to 2nd trimester when we should all start to feel a bit more human again!

@Flossiepot it's crazy isn't it! Here's me thinking I had a whole year or more to figure things out 😂

@Mummyme87 @Mushroo thanks both, I'll look into this! Every little helps for sure.

@WitcheryDivine I'm the same! Still can't believe we only get 2 scans, I want to see baby every week please! Tempted to book a private 16 week one but also trying to be a bit relaxed and just go with whatever happens. Unfortunately my personality says otherwise 😅

Best of luck for the screening @Matildahoney just remember it's a probability and not a diagnosis (I know you know), so most people getting these results the baby will be fine x

@Matildahoney yeah I'm expecting the same cos of my age! NIPT will be quick and prob come back totally fine, do you know what the NT measurement was? As that usually a good indicator, if that was ok there's probably no issue! Did they give you your measurements for the bloods? Xx

Haha @Onedayatatime24 I think you're me. Would love to just "enjoy" the second trimester but it's hard to enjoy when you're not even sure wtf is happening in there!

@WitcheryDivine Ha, I know, everyone says to enjoy the pregnancy but it's hard not to wish it away and just have healthy baby in your arms. Before I got pregnant we said we wouldn't find out the gender and leave it as a surprise. I didn't realise you basically know nothing at any point so now I'm like, nope please give me every scrap of information you have.

@Matildahoney good luck with the NIPT, even the 'high' risk is still quite low (not that it helps reassure you!), but everything crossed it will be okay for you.

I've just booked my daughter in for an extra day at nursery to start when my mat leave ends, and then 2 days a week for the baby. Oldest will get 30 hours by then, new baby will have 15 plus we use the tax free childcare account. Still going to cost us £780 a month! Painful.

We'd like a third child but I think I will aim for a bigger age gap next time so we're not paying 2 lots of nursery fees at once for as long (although it will only be a year then oldest starts school).

@Matildahoney you must be really worried but I agree with others that hopefully the NIPT will come back all okay. Just a probability. Hope all goes well xx

@buckingmad eeek the price! Scary! I just called for a tour of a local nursery and they quoted their daily rate as £72. Does that sound about right (London)? I feel so overwhelmed 😂 when does the government 15 free hours start for babies? I thought I’d read Sept 2025 but hopefully it’s sooner 😂