Pregnant after miscarriage - support thread NEW

[tulipsunday]

Welcome to all those who are pregnant following a miscarriage/s. A space where we can share our anxieties and our joys.

@HopeAndStrength welcome, what a stress having such a late mc at 12 weeks, it's always worse as you're coming up to the time it happened last time! Everything crossed for you 🤞🤞

@EMHME welcome - I feel exactly the same about the general pregnancy threads. It doesn't feel quite right to share my anxieties there. Equally I don't want to talk about pregnancy too much on the (wonderfully supportive) miscarriage threads. Congratulations on reaching that milestone, sounds like things are going well! Easier said than done but try not to give yourself a hard time if hope is creeping in.

It's crazy for me to think how optimistic I felt at this stage last time. I find it hard to let myself think of this pregnancy as a baby this time around, but with my last pregnancy (the one that ended in loss at 8 weeks) I was so ahead of myself and excited.

Getting past that 8 weeks would feel great this time (I'm currently 6w4d, counting every day...) but really it's a healthy 12 week scan that I have in my sights as the moment when I HOPE I'll be able to start feeling hopeful.

@suz2285 Good luck for your 12 week scan tomorrow!! Do you plan to tell people if everything goes well at the scan?

I've been telling some people as I see them, because after my loss I know who I would need support from if it goes wrong again. But it feels like I'm letting them in on my anxiety rather than announcing a pregnancy, if that makes sense.

@Hankthehonk my mum and dad know so far that's all! I'm waiting for all the results from the scan, bloods etc and then if all ok then we'll tell husbands folks! I'm not planning on telling loads of people, I need to tell my sister but im seeing her in week 18 so I thought it might be funny to wait until then and go see her with a bump 😂 but haven't decided yet! She'll want to tell everyone 🙈

I might tell one friend but I'll just let everyone else know as and when I see them! Work whenever I can't hide it anymore 🙈 honestly im already panicking about loss after 12 weeks and the anatomy scan! I've booked a gender scan for later and im worried they'll see something bad in that! It's a nightmare 😂

Thanks @suz2285 and good luck for your scan tomorrow, we will all be rooting for you.

I can totally relate to what you're saying about different threads @Hankthehonk and @EMHME - I really want to join the excitement of being pregnant but I just can't let myself in case it goes away again.

Welcome @EMHME glad all seems to be going well so far with baby. Welcome @HopeAndStrength hope time goes quickly for you till that 12wk scan the run up to it is hard.

@suz2285 good luck for tomorrow! Hopefully a great start to the weekend 😊

Currently 13wks hoping will get to hear the heartbeat again at 16wk appointment. Sure I did with my son - do you remember if you did at your 16wk @ChloeN ?

@tulipsunday No I didn’t! However loads of girls in the due date group did, think it depends where you live! I think in my area they changed the guidance a year or 2 ago to 25 weeks being the first time xx

Hi all, I've been lurking in on this group. I had a MC at the end of January and honestly didn't believe I would fall during the cycle I did due to battling various infections since the MC (hormones must be all over the place)

I'm currently 9+2 and I have my first scan on 28th July. I have no idea how I am going to cope these next 3 weeks. I keep worrying that there's nothing there or I'll have had a MMC and we'll be really disappointed when we go to the scan. Honestly I'm dreading it and I'm so anxious and worried. I won't go for a private scan either cause I'm scared and it would only be short term relief anyway.

I was relieved to make it to 8 weeks as the MC happened just before this last time. But since I've made it this far, its only fueled my anxiety further as I feel more is at stake now.

Hi @Strawberry06 I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious, I was exactly the same (and I hate to say it but I'm not much better now at - possibly - 14 weeks).

Read on here or the other thread someone said: just remember, you're pregnant til you're not.

Best of luck xxx

@WitcheryDivine I already know that I will be like this the entire pregnancy!

That statement is so true and I keep telling myself that women do have babies - it is possible! There's no reason why I should miscarry again but once you've been through it once you just cant shake it off.

If all goes to plan, this baby will due around the same time I lost my first - so I'm trying to take comfort in the fact they may be watching over us both.

Bless you it's so hard, my feelings of anxiety really come and go. I am not sure whether it's worth talking to the midwife about it or if they'll just pat my hand and say there there. I would really appreciate an extra scan before 20 weeks (if no obvious MC before) as I had a MMC last time and I'm haunted by it.

@WitcheryDivine I did mention to my midwife my previous MC and that I've been anxious but she's very much 'totally normal for everyone to be anxious, such an early time etc etc' unless it's anxiety that needs to be medicated I think they're quite chill about it, but they must see things all the time, it's different when it's actually happening to you personally for sure!

It's not easy... I feel quite anxious this afternoon, have my 12 week scan tomorrow! Just want to know all is ok

Thank you for your responses!

@Hankthehonk I get what you're saying about feeling like telling people is more sharing anxiety than sharing happy news at this point. I've had to tell more people than I really wanted to for various reasons and each time someone starts to say congratulations I'm like nope! Get your fingers crossed immediately and don't uncross them until I say it's safe! 😄 I haven't made it to a dating scan at all yet, so I'm looking forward to being able to surprise people without it being followed immediately by a 'But'.

@Strawberry06 Sounds like you're really suffering with the worry. It's so hard isn't it? I know we've all suffered loss so it feels like the odds are stacked against us, but realistically the likelihood of MC only increases a tiny bit after you've had one, the odds are still in our favour. 🙂 We must be due around the same time btw, I'm 9+4 today.

@ChloeN ah ok hoping I do will break up the wait till the next scan. Though of course if they try and can't find it I will be stressing!

@tulipsunday its annoying how some do it and some don’t, I have heard people say if you ask they will! I had a scan at 17 weeks so I wasn’t too worried about having it but if I didn’t I would of definitely asked! Is your next scan the 20 week?

Yes I am going to wait till 20wk unless have a reason to worry. Our nearest private scan place is at a private hospital and v expensive and the cheaper one is a bit of a faff to get to so think will wait it out if I can 😬. How's the last part of pregnancy going? @ChloeN

@tulipsunday I think a good private scan place is so hard to find, where I go is double wttw prices but oh well🤣 yeah good thanks! I feel okay still, I can still do everything as normal and I’ve got loads to do atm so I’m keeping busy! I’ll have a sweep at 39 weeks if I’m dilated enough for it, it probably will do nothing but mentally it’ll make me feel better for trying 😂 if anyone has any sweep experiences for previous babies let me know!

I had a few sweeps with both of my dc (both were overdue) @ChloeN you will know if your midwife gets a good one as it's quite uncomfortable.. like a heavy pressure feeling but it is bearable and at that point you are willing to try anything to get baby out aren't you 😄

With my second dc, I think I got 2 of them too early and both they caused cramps and I lost my plug but nothing else happened, the third one I had when labour had already started and I believe it definitely sped things up and I had a very fast birth. So exciting being so close to meeting baby 💜x

@Ladyinpink1 ahh thank you! I’ve not known many people to have a sweep so wasn’t sure what to expect! Does it take long to do it? Xx

Evening sickness and loss of appetite has returned with a vengeance this evening. I really thought I was over it now but think I'll be heading into the second trimester with it 😭. Such a horrible kind of sickness, like eating actually helps the nausea go away but also.... I don't want to eat 😅

Hi All. Hope you are all doing OK. I was wondering if you could help. I'm 7 +3 (IVF baby after multiple very early miscarriages), had a scan, saw heartbeat, all looking good. But this evening, I had some cramps that felt different and stronger to any that I've had so far. These cramps were on an off for about half an hour and felt like a squeezing pain, almost how I'd imagine mild contractions to feel. It's really worried me - I'm scared. I know cramping is normal and that the cramps can sometimes be quite strong and still be normal, but this felt quite sharp and like a rhymical squeezing (on for 10 seconds, off for 3/4 mins, repeat). Now I feel sore. No bleeding though. Has anyone had similar? If so, was everything OK? Thank you.

@BluebellBeanz Have you got a midwife advice line or the contact number for a midwife? Might be worth seeing what they say.

@WhiteHorse92 also don't feel great in the evenings so tired and sometimes a bit nauseous. Hoped this might have gone too.

@ChloeN have had two sweeps didn't work for me and very uncomfortable as my body wasn't ready (son was comfy in there and two weeks late). Totally understand why people have them to see if it speeds things along but don't think I would have one again.

Thinking of you today @suz2285 good luck!

@suz2285 hope you're scan went well! ❤️❤️

Well I'm 11 weeks again, see if I get to 12 weeks 😂 feeling like I've got deja vu!

@tulipsunday I am exhausted in the evenings feel like I'm out of breathe too!

Yes thinking of you and your scan today @suz2285

I'll be 11 weeks tomorrow as well @Brokenpancreas94 - hopefully going to go on some nice walks this weekend to distract me!