Due December 2023 part 2

[Landsmen]

New thread. Will tag people shortly. Tag anyone from the first

@HannahLouD I know the constant worrying is tough. I cannot wait to get to 12 weeks and constantly panicking that I won't. There's no reason for everything not to go well though. Don't feel bad for telling your family. I don't really understand the culture of waiting until 12 weeks to tell anyone. When you think about it - you're going to be telling those nearest to you whose support you'd need if the worse was to happen (and I'm sure it won't) Why would anyone want to go through the toughest time of their lives all on their own hiding it from our families?! (Even though this is exactly what happened with me apart from about two people who knew!) I told my family months afterwards! How did the news go down with your family?

Big hello and welcome to all the newcomers and so pleased for all who had happy scans today - great news 😁

@HannahLouD Hannah have you spoken to your GP or midwife at all about how anxious you've felt this pregnancy? Xx

@smldnlove I'm also due on the 28th. Wondering if it might change after my scan though

I am 7+3 today, still no booking in appointment arranged although I requested one over two weeks ago, our local trust is moving systems and they have a backlog. It feels like it will be an age until a scan is booked. After all the chatter here about private scans I am tempted but they are a bit expensive.

We told my husbands parents when I was 5 weeks as my husband would want their support if anything goes wrong. And a close male friend at 6 weeks because he was visiting from a long way away and it was a good chance to say in person. I think he was shocked to be told before 12 weeks. I hoped to tell my dad this weekend but he was not able to visit as planned. Going to try and engineer some visits closer to the 12 or 14 week mark. I am expecting that my NHS scan will be closer to 14 weeks.

Hi all newcomers! Lovely to see some more December babies! Can see lots of you are 6w5d today too which is the same as me and a few others.

Feel like since the scan, my brain is like Oh it’s real now and I’ve been completely wiped out. Fell asleep at 3pm and then 7pm yesterday and feeling exhausted still this morning. Got a full day today and wedding planning so trying to perk up!!

@Flowers90 Ah lovely you are not far either and yes it’s very likely things will change after 12 weeks can. Hoping mine pushes out from Xmas day a bit!

Ive got my private scan today - really hoping to see some growth as that will really reassure me
im feeling strangely calm the last few days though, I’m excited to see the little bean again

Good luck @SMG1992 ! And welcome to all the newcomers ☺️
I've started having crazy dreams about the outcome of my scan. It's in 2 days and feeling a bit nervous now!

@Lakeside88 hope you're feeling better soon, keep drinking fluids.

Tuesday will be my second private scan which will tell me whether I've had a MMC or not. Tbh I'm not feeling hopeful, boobs don't feel sore at all today, slight fullness but feel like they are going down. I had a MMC Dec 2022 and a MC March 2020.

Im currently visiting my family for a week and not told anyone, would love to tell the mother but I'll wait to see what's said on Tuesday.

Sorry to skip past everyone’s messages, I’ve had a bit of spotting and cramping, nothing major just a tiny bit of pink and light brown when I’ve wiped after going to the toilet a couple of times, I know this can be normal so trying not to worry, if it picks up will call epu, I know I have spotted in previous pregnancies so trying not to worry myself x

Had my private scan and they put me at 8 weeks today!
still have a lovely heartbeat but that’s 5 days ahead of where my epu scan put me last week - which is good news I guess!

feeling very blessed and only 1 week away from 9 weeks milestone which is when I had my mmc last time so will be so glad to have a healthy scan after then!
I do have another private scan in 2 weeks before my 12 week scan as I know I’ll still panic but it’s nice to have a sense of calm for the time being

Been a bit awol as the sickness has been awful, but am on anti sickness meds now. Feeling a bit better today though and haven't taken any.
I've got my private scan tomorrow and booking apt on Tuesday. Just want to be at 12 weeks already! So so tired all the time, having to look after 1yo is HARD

@HannahLouD can you let me know how it goes with the PMHT? I'll be needing referral as have been off work for a while with depression and anxiety.

@MomentOhm so sorry lovely 💔

When did people tell their boss? Or when do you plan to?

Ideally I’d like to wait to 12 or even 20 week scan but I’ve started getting nausea and thinking it would be good to work from home on days I’m like this so would obviously have to tell.

@ThomasinaLivesHere I told my boss at six weeks because I was feeling so rubbish with nausea and concerned my standard of work was dropping. Our maternity policy encourages us to share that we are pregnant early if we need support or are feeling unwell. She was lovely and very supportive! But if I hadn't been feeling so awful and could work normally I would have waited until after the 12 week scan.

My anti sickness medication is definitely helping, I tried to skip it this morning and that didn't turn out well! But I've had COVID for the last few days which is rubbish timing so generally feeling very sorry for myself. DP is being lovely and trying everything he can to make me feel better, bless him.

@ThomasinaLivesHere I plan to wait till 20 weeks or as long as I can! I started my current job in June last year so holding out for a bit (not that they’d care if I’d only been there a year but idk…would just feel more comfortable). Week 12-20 is normal I feel but whenever it feels right!

Personally as a HR manager I would never tell people to wait that long. You are entitled to paid time off for appointments and have extra protections when pregnant. It also gives the company longer to plan cover for your maternity. X

@Clucket87 that's really interesting. I've been taking holiday for appointments - I wasn't asked to, I just assumed, so I can stop now.

I’m in a really tricky situation in that I’m on a fixed term contract, but a business case has been put forward for it to be made permanent (but it’s going through the process which could take a few months). Therefore ideally I want that approved before I tell!

I know theoretically it shouldn’t change the outcome, but I’m a bit cynical it definitely would.

Then you would have an pregnancy discrimination claim. But I can understand why you would feel like that. Xx

@Clucket87 thank you. I know logically that’s the law but unless I feel awful and have to tell them, I’ll keep quiet for a bit. My manager is lovely so I might tell him and ask him to keep it on the down low if needed!

Yeah I've already told mine as I'm a teacher and it means they happily give me time off for apts etc, and are a bit more mindful if I need to leave a lesson to be sick or something. I just find that telling managers is more of a supportive measure but I understand why you wouldn't want to.

@ThomasinaLivesHere I told my manager pretty much as soon as I found out, just in case the worse happened again or my nausea got too much. I probably work in the best place for her to be super understanding though! Waiting for my scan next week then gotta do some risk assessments 😊

@ThomasinaLivesHere I plan to tell them sometime after my 12 week scan. I was going to wait until my 20 week but as someone said my company pay for antenatal appointments so will save my holiday also will help them plan. I feel terrible as I literally found out I was pregnant just after I got the job but these things happen.

I also plan to tell my work after my 12 week scan. Last time I told them early but it was because I was due out on site work's unfortunately it didn't end well.

Just had my early scan I should be 7 weeks 6 days but measuring more like 6weeks 6 days but we saw a heartbeat and they said nothing to worry about. They did a scan over my belly too so I imagine there's obviously a margin of error due to how small the measurements are right now. feeling so positive now as this is further then we got last time.

They did mention I have a cyst on my right overt but again said it's quiet common? And nothing to worry about but just to mention it at my 12 week scan.

When does everyone expect to get their risk assessments at work? Especially if you have a job that requires amendments to your duties due to pregnancy?

I haven't told work yet this pregnancy.

Last time I told them very early and they amended my duties straight away as quiet often I do site visits and stuff like that so all that was off the cards.

They were very quick to sort it all out because of the nature of my role.

This time I've not told them yet but I'm i manage my own site visits etc so I've managed to avoid them so far and manage my own workload I will be telling them at 12weeks though.