Babies due June/July onwards

[musica]

Here is promised thread jessi! Congratulations too Ellasmum and jessi - Ellasmum, my due date will be about 20th July I think. Haven't seen any midwife or doctor yet - trying to remember what I did when last time!

Oh Hilary - I am so sorry to hear your news.

Hope all goes well for you in the future.

I'm sorry Hilary - I was really hoping things would work out for you. I hope you and your partner are ok. I hope tomorrow is ok for you.

Thinking of you!

Thinking of you Hilary, so sorry to hear your sad news. Take care of yourself. xx

so sorry to hear your sad news Hilary.
Ellasmum- sorry to hear you are feeling as awful as me! although it does make me feel a little more normal. Still haven't got a date for scan yet. I just want to know ASAP if there is more than 1.

KMS - that is exactly how I feel!! Am convinced that it must be twins as I feel so bad compared to last time.

However, I have perked up a bit since yesterday mainly because I have managed to eat small amounts on a regualr basis.

Hilary - thinking of you. Take Care of yourself.

I have now been to the hospital and am home again having had nothing more done to me than more blood taken. Yes, I have miscarried. I am feeling ok ish but sad, obviously.

I really really hope things continue well for you guys.

Ellasmum- have you tried the"sea bands" anti-nausea acupressure bands? I have some. Can't say if help totaly but hate to think of life without them incase it was worse without them. ( if that makes sence!) Also ginger nuts. Finally phoned hospital to get scan date 22nd Jan! I persueded them to bring it forward to 30th dec but that seems a long way away! They say they won't scan before 12wks?

Is anyone else having an emotionally charged time? I thought of changing my name today to "can'tstopcrying" . Sorry to "hijack the thread" but need to speak to other hormonally vulnerable women.

DH and I had "argument" last night which started off with him asking me why I was a little quiet and I told him that I was really quite nervous about no2 (due in June) The next minute he seemed to be angry with me for having seemingly let my career go to the rocks over the past few years and that's why I wasn't happy and fulfilled! It was so unfair - we'd made the decision jointly that I wouldn't change jobs 2 years ago as we decided we wanted to start a family.
The fact that I can't do my own things in the evenings is because he's so late home from work all the time. He says things like "do waht you want. It's up to you" but that's the whole problem - he doesn't follow it through with any other support/action. I have a FT job, look after dd (nursery run, all mealtimes etc) all cooking (we have a cleaner) and arrange for all workmen etc - then I'm supposed to retrain for a better life?
He works really hard and loves his job (which is great) but he claimed that if I wanted to have an evening slot for me then it was 100% guaranteed - this is so blatantly untrue!!!(He works for an agency and they get their pund of flesh) I cried for about 2 hours non stop and woke up crying this morning - is this pregnancy hormones or what? DH is normally a fantastic hubby but I couldn't quite believe what he was coming up with last night. He was so contrite afterwards and this morning but I can't get over how hurt I feel and how he can view the same things so differently to me.
Right now I feel like I can't ever talk to him again (tears as I type)

Ouioui, no wonder you feel miserable, he's just not giving you the practical and emotional support you need and deserve. Me & dh alternate dropping off/picking up (he's even taken her in this morning as I have a deadline - and shouldn't even be on Mumsnet ) and I'm going out tonight. ok, that's a bit of a rarity but he's always encouraging me to do my thing, and is the one who arranges babysitters, fixes times for workmen so I don't always have to stay in for them. can he really not put himself in your shoes and see how pissed off he'd be???

Hi Bundle

unfrotunately I think he really is blind to it and I am only recently getting to breaking point where I am starting to spell it out word for word. For the 7 years we've been together, I've taken over organisation of our lives, house looked after, happy baby, I cook every night etc etc. I think he's got so used to it and it's never bothered me before -in fact it's what I've always wanted. He'll say things like,"oh we'll just have pasta" or "let's get a takeaway"(big time rarity) but he never follows up by doing anything!!! (oh god there go the tears again)
He then gets upset and says "oh you'tre always accusing me of not understanding but I do" - true I think he does in a way but he doesn't show or do anything about it.

Ouioui, you poor love. I think a lot of us build a rod for our own backs, by becoming so good at things that the partner doesn't/we don't want them to take over ...very much a control thing. Maybe you could start with something small. time off on a weekend eg he could take your child swimming or to the park, so you get total 100% ME time - ie not tidying the house or doing life admin. it's tricky to do - because it's about making demands and then you feel the bad guy...but little steps might just get you nearer to where you want to be. chocolate is quite good for tears.

Bundle - I think I love you . Now you do understand how I feel - and yes that bad guy thing is so true. I It helps so much that I'm not the only one out there.

DH feels really bad too but I can't help feeling that it'll all blow over and he'll forget it all by tomorrow (by which time I'll have stopped crying) and it'll all build up again in a few weeks/months. Ho Hum.

I have lots of "Green & Black" hidden away in our fruit bowl (DH bought them as a treat for me so he's really not all that bad) but that well get found later on.

Hi OuiOui, I agree with Bundle you're not getting enough support. I have a really lucky set up - we both work part time and share looking after dd with only one day at the childminder - yet I still find things to moan about! Only last night I was pissed off with him for letting dd sleep too long in the day so she was up later than usual when I'd had a long day at work. I too am expecting number two in June, ultra hormonal and prone to hysterical outbursts. But in your case I think you have a right to moan. You should not have to be a superwoman and it sounds like that is exactly your role at present. How will you manage that when number two comes along? He is going to have to make some changes or you will be falling apart. I hope this doesn't sound critical - it's meant to be supportive! Our set up was crap for the first 9 months of dd's life so i really know what it's like to shoulder an unfair share of the work and responsibility.

oh ouioui, you're lovely!
no one has to be the bad guy in this...I'm sure your dh is really nice. it's just hard to redress the imbalance & feels like it would swamp you if you try to tackle it. so remember little steps. also it'll help once no.2 comes along - friends who've had their second have done a lot more pushing to get their partners doing more stuff with their firstborn - this has the added advantage of helping to strengthen their relationship too, and dad's not just the 'fun' one, mum the 'daily chores' one who tells you off (ie they don't just go eg swimming, but he does lunch, nappy check, milk, clothes etc when I go out)

thanks for all your support. Yes dh is absolutely fantastic for playing with dd and he knows why I'm so anxious about no2. I'm just waiting to see his understanding materialise into some doing.
The tears have cleared up and didn't even go near the chocolate (altho might do now just for the hxll of it).

I've had a bacon sarnie with ketchup, 2 pints organic semi-skimmed milk and a turkish delight already today. oh and lunch: tuna, chips and salad.mmmmmmmmmmm

like the bacon sarnie - hate milk - ambivalent about turkish delight (unless it was the real thing?) had meatball pasta and am now having white chocolate and pistachio cookies (baking frenzy at the weekend - my friends know me as the domestic goddess) - oh god I've just realised - my fatigue is totally self inflicted!!!

it helps to keep me going anyway, dd was in our bed from 3 and is such a fidget, got hardly any sleep after that. she's constipated, poor thing - prunes at the nursery yesterday and orange juice hasn't shifted it..yet!

Oooo - turkish delight. Love the real thing. Infact, might go and get a box this afternoon.

Have managed to eat a bit more in the last few days but my body only wants total cr*p - so crisps and chips are on the menu.

Having a dating scan tomorrow - KMS, I managed to get a scan before 12 weeks because we had no idea of dates. They will then use this scan to work out when I can have my 12 week one. Can't wait to see the alien creature on screen

Hi...

Had my dating scan this morning and am officially due on 6th July. This makes me just over 8 weeks pregnant.

Was good to see the 'blob' on screen - hadn't even got as far as looking like an alien yet!!

Hope you are all well.

brilliant, ellasmum, I think you deserve some Turkish delight (mine was the fake version, but you have to get what you can)

Congrats Ellasmum, I saw my ween at just over 8 weeks and felt instant bonding, they are so teeny with that huge heartbeat!!
OuiOui, hows your day going today? I am mrs hormonal today,especially when I dealt with NTL earlier!! Anyone know how long these mad hormones go on for? I can't remember them from last time!

That's really exciting Ellasmum - I wish I could have a scan! Got to wait till 12 weeks - seems an age away.

I feel sick sick sick today. Up till now, I kept thinking, hey maybe it wasn't so bad last time after all, maybe I imagined it, today I thought, nope, was bad after all! How are you all feeling?

Musica- still feel sick as a dog! Friends are even saying how awful I look!(that helps me feel so much better. NOT) My hospital said I can't have dating scan till aprox 12 wks too, but want to have nuchal scan. What if I find out I'm further on than I thought? will I miss out on nuchal scan?