Due September 2023 after miscarriage 🌈 (thread 2)

[CaliGirl47]

Hello all. Here is a fresh thread to fill up with lots of chitchat and milestones. So sorry if I’ve missed anyone out or got the EDD wrong. I tried to look back through but there were so many messages 😅 I’m sure I must’ve missed some people out. Many apologies, it wasn’t intentional. Sending hugs to all. 🥰🌈👶🏻🤰🏻

@luna57 September 2nd

@Tinkerbell098 September 9th

@elleh2023 September 13th

@Astar21 September 14th 💛

@Daisy155 September 15th

@RMS0209 September 17th

@Skw11 September 18th

@Hopefulbee September 19th 💗

@Pandalovee September 20th

@pinkpirlie September 22nd

@log51 September 23rd

@kl1999 September 23rd

Caligirl47 September 23rd

@Houseelf90 September 25th 💛

@Littleheart5 September 28th

@Bizzybee900 September 30th

@Passenger87

@00Bubbles00 💗

@poochielagrande

@KellyJean

@Goneaboutthiswrong

Had my 16 week scan today ❤️ was a massive relief. I'm so glad Im part of this group and knew to ask about hearing the heart beat, I had to insist on hearing it! Anyway thank you ladies for all your advice!
@CaliGirl47 thanks for writing up the EDD of everyone looks like some might be coming up for 20 week scan soon!

Good Morning Ladies! Hope you are all feeling fab 😘😘

Had our gender scan today, DP got to hear the heartbeat and it was so so magical! 🥹 I’m so happy he got to hear it, finally.

In other news….. we are having a boy!! 💙💙💙

I’m excited, but a little shocked! Gut feeling told me it was a girl, but my DPs side is very male dominated lol.

Happy Saturday all 💙☁️⭐️

Oh my word that’s amazing news! Congratulations mama on your baby boy 👶🏼🍼💙💙💙 @kl1999 I’m so pleased your DP got to hear the heartbeat and share in this special moment with you. I bet you are absolutely buzzing. 🥰☺️😘

Thanks everyone for all of your lovely comments. 🥰😘 It’s been so exciting learning that we’ve got another daughter on the way. Now we’ve just been wracking our brains with girl names. Haha. I told DH I’d be willing to wait until baby is born and see what she’s like before deciding on a name. He looked at me like I was crazy. 🤣Haha! last time we were the opposite. With DD1 we called her by her first name from about 20 weeks along. Anyone else thinking of waiting until after baby is born to pick a name?

I’m so pleased you got to hear the heartbeat @Bizzybee900 It’s such a wonderful moment. I think next time I might try to record it on my phone as someone on here suggested so I can play it over and over. So glad it all went well at your appointment. 🤗 We really are ticking along now through the second trimester. It’s so exciting. 😊

@kl1999 how exciting you are having a baby boy 💙💙 that’s so lovely you DH got to hear the baby’s heart beat finally! This is making me so excited for my scan in 2 weeks time I can’t wait to find out what we are having!!

I wanted it to be a surprise and do a little gender reveal with my Husband and my little Son only as we have not told anyone yet! I thought it would be nice to have a little gender reveal picnic one of these warm days! We have never done that and we have always had boys so I thought something different!

@CaliGirl47 I have a massive list of names 😩 always updating it when I see a name I like. I think after the gender scan I will definitely give baby their name straight away we have done that with our first son! But I think it’s such a great idea to actually see what baby looks like and name them. But I lack patience 😂

@kl1999 congratulations 💙 also pleased your DH got to hear the heartbeat!

@CaliGirl47 we have a list of boys names and girls names. Boy is pretty much set and I think we’re about 70% decided on a girl name but we will wait until they’re born to check the name suits!
I have 2 middle names and my DP doesn’t have any, I’ve always wanted my baby to have 2 but he wanted 1 to match his children from previous marriage….well; last weekend an extra middle name got added to both the boy and girl names and they were both his suggestion 🤣🤣
I had some friends who were adamant they had chosen their name, calling him it from 20 weeks only to change their mind when he was born and they decided the name didn’t suit!

@CaliGirl47 congratulations on baby girl number 2!! 💗💗 How exciting for your little girl to have a sister. There's so many beautiful girls names but it's difficult picking the 'right one'. We already have a boy and girl name decided 😂 we picked them a while ago and they just feel right!

@kl1999 congratulations on baby boy 💙 how lovely!!

It's crazy to think we're nearly at the half way point now and some of us finding out what these precious little babes are! 💗💛💙
I'm off on my jollies to Spain tomorrow, looking forward to relaxing with bump in the sunshine ☀️

@kl1999 How exciting that you are having a little boy! Congratulations! I know the feeling of having to let it sink in a bit. This time everyone said they think it’s a boy so sometimes I still think “he” and have to correct myself. Will be easier once we give her a name I think. @CaliGirl47 last time we names our DD at 20 weeks, the moment we found out her gender. But we happened to find a name we both love straight away. This time we have a longer list that we strike one name off of every day, should be done in a few weeks. So far I like some but haven’t got the same feeling of knowing that’s the one as last time. Still, I want to try and make her before she arrives - I feel it makes bonding easier for me personally.

@Astar21 have a wonderful holiday! ☺️

@CaliGirl47 I am so over the moon! I mean, we would have been either way - obviously! But seeing my other half listen to the heartbeat was just so so magically. I think it really makes things feel very "real" 💙

@Bizzybee900 So pleased you got to hear the heartbeat! It's beautiful isn't it 🥰

@Daisy155 Honestly, it was the best!! So excited for you and your upcoming scan 💙💗

@Houseelf90 @Astar21 @HopefulBee Thank you all! I'm so pleased he got to hear it too ❤🌈

We decided on one name for a boy and one for a girl last year, although that pregnancy ended badly for us, we kept those names as we loved them so much! I was pretty surprised how easily we found names we both absolutely loved 😂

It is hard though - not sure if we will pick a middle name or not. We both have one, but not sure about the little one just yet.

These next few weeks are going to be so exciting for us all - hope you all are feeling great 💕

This may seem like a silly question but I have got myself in a right tizz about it and now starting to panic!!
I was reading about the 16 week appointment and that they measure your uterus, and that you should be able to feel where this is….well I’m 17weeks and I can’t find/feel anything!! My belly is completely soft/podgy!! And now I’m worrying that something has happened to baby and therefore isn’t growing and that’s why I can’t feel my uterus!!
This sounds crazy considering I have a bit of a bump but I’m now just worried that I’ve put weight on and am just fat (oh, and yes I cried my eyes out yesterday because I ordered some new tights and despite getting XL I couldn’t get them on!!)
So, those that have had their 16 week appt, did your midwife measure your uterus and was it easy to find??

Sorry for the long message and silly question, you ladies are the only ones that truly understand all the different feelings and worries that I can speak to!

Oh @Houseelf90 so sorry you got all worried about this. This is all such a rollercoaster. In my experience midwives will feel manually where the uterus ends to see whether it’s growing well at 16 weeks, but they will not take actual measurements with a measuring tape until later in the pregnancy (around 26 weeks). My midwife showed me by making me put my hands on the sides of my belly, in between my hip bones, and telling me to feel for sth that feels a bit like a balloon. With her guidance I was just about to make it out. I was basically feeling the sides of the uterus then. But it was not easy to spot, and while she found the top of my uterus, I couldn’t feel that at all (she said that’s more difficult). I’m quite slim (not super skinny) but don’t have abs as strong as before my DD - it is even harder when you have very strong abs or a little more belly fat.

Sooo, all that to say it’s not easy to do by yourself, but very easy to freak yourself out. Perhaps ask your midwife to show you next time. I’m sure all is well and the reason you cannot find it is because you are not trained to do so 😉💛.

I do understand the fear though. I have felt some very tiny flutters now and then but woke up this morning really worried that sth is wrong because I don’t feel it very often yet and with my daughter I did at this point. I know it’s silly because I’m only 17+6 aaand I have an anterior placenta, but can’t get it out of my head now. Next appointment is this Thursday so 🤞🤞all is well.

Thank you @HopefulBee that’s really reassuring that it’s not easy to feel even when you’re slimmer! I’m sure all will be well at my appointment on Friday and that I’m just being silly, I think we all have irrational thoughts don’t we!!
I’ve definitely gained a lot of weight through constant eating to subside the nausea so I’m going to be stricter with myself now on what snacks I have and making sure I make healthier choices, but will definitely listen to my body and do what is best for me and baby! Yesterday was the kick up the arse I needed, not being able to get in my new tights!

@HopefulBee sorry I forgot to reply to the bit about the movements! It’s so hard isn’t it, will certainly be much easier in a few weeks when the movements are more regular! I’ve had odd times where I think I’ve felt movement but it’s really not consistent yet and some days I don’t feel anything at all! And then you start to question whether what you felt was actually baby or not! 🤦‍♀️

Hi @Houseelf90 at my 16wk appt there was no mention of my uterus/measuring of it, just heartbeat check. But if you're still to have your appointment and are nervous maybe ask midwife to show you as that sounds helpful from @HopefulBee 's comment ♥ I would probably try not to read too much into bump size etc at this stage, they don't start measuring it til week 24 I believe, must be nothing much to learn from it before then. (caveat that I'm FTM so am just assuming and guessing here 😅). On movements my midwife said very normal not to feel them every day at this stage especially if you're busy but you will soon be able to spot patterns. Sending love xxx

@Houseelf90 Not a silly question in the slightest! At my 16wk appt last week, nothing was ever mentioned regarding my uterus or how to feel/find/measure it. All I had was my bp check and I got to listen to baby's heartbeat - oh and the urine sample too. I got given a growth chart at my 12wk NHS scan and I'm pretty sure the dates on there don't start until 20+ something weeks - so please don't worry regarding bump etc! So sorry that you felt this way today, I really hope our answers and advice have helped, even if just a little. Sending lots of love and hugs ❤🌷 xxx

@Skw11 @kl1999 thank you so much for your reassurance! It’s good to know they won’t measure at the 16 week appointment! We try and learn by reading online and it just makes us panic!
I am feeling much better about it now and hopefully we’ll get to hear baby’s heartbeat on Friday for more reassurance! It just seems such a long time since the 12 week scan and you don’t really have any idea what’s happening inside you!

@Houseelf90 I've given up reading online now to be honest! Each website I looked on, talked about different things or had contradictive info compared to another website and it just increased my anxiety! I'm glad you are feeling better now my lovely ❤ Can't wait to hear how Friday goes for you.

They do say this is an odd point of pregnancy. As (hopefully) most of our symptoms such as tiredness and nausea go or start to go, so we start to feel loads better. But we almost don't "feel" pregnant, especially if we don't have a very obvious or noticeable bump. My midwife talked about this last week, and she said the next few weeks we should feel great. It's normally a lovely point during pregnancy, and to bask in it whilst we can lol 😅❤🌈

@kl1999 thank you, I think I’m feeling less tired but the nausea is still here some days and I was sick again last week a couple of times 😩😩 hopefully that will go!! Realistically that should be my reassurance but then I just question whether I’m being sick because something is wrong or I’m poorly/eaten something dodgy!
Your midwife is totally right, we should be enjoying this part, but it’s just not the same when you’re constantly thinking about loss is it! I often wonder if someone who is pregnant for the first time, with no previous losses has the same kind of thoughts/anxieties we do!
After my appointment on Friday I’ll only have 2.5 weeks to wait for my 20 week scan so hopefully that will help too!
I hope all is well with you 💕

Oh man I really feel for you @Houseelf90 I know exactly how it feels once that little thought gets into your head that something is wrong.😞 It can be very difficult to rein in intrusive thoughts. But I’m glad you are feeling better. If you are taller with a longer torso then that can affect how bump looks/feels. I’m sure baby is just fine in there all tucked up and safe. I didn’t have my uterus examined or measured at my 16 week appointment so I think they’ll do that at a later point. I really hope Friday brings you lots of reassurance and a nice joyful buzz. 🤗 I was finding normal tights way too uncomfortable and restrictive so I’ve already started with maternity tights 😂 I ordered a two pack from M&S for £15 and they’re so soft and lush and really help me to feel supported but not at all restrictive on bump. I definitely recommend them. I really hope your nausea eases off soon. 😘

I hope you’re having a lovely time on holiday @Astar21 ☀️😎

Thanks @Houseelf90 , it’s reassuring to hear that you don’t feel baby every day either. Really hope our appointments this Thursday and Friday will help calm our nerves again.

As for how a FTM feels without previous losses, as far as I remember I was less easily anxious, but there were certainly also moments where I freaked out. I remember not wanting to share the news until had a heartbeat check at 13 weeks because 2 weeks after my dating scan felt like ages and I couldn’t feel baby move yet. I also remember being very worried because my belly didn’t pop until close to the third trimester and some unhelpful mums commented that I must be 12 weeks when I was 26 weeks… so I went to the midwife for an extra check. And at some point my baby had a lazy morning and I panicked so much I was crying. Convinced something was wrong. After 20 mins and lots of sugary stuff she woke up and gave me hell for the rest of the day. So anyway all that to say that pregnancy is a vulnerable time, and it’s normal to be anxious and worried for your baby even if you haven’t had a loss. I just think that for all of us, we are a little quicker to have a small worrying thought turn into anxiety or panic.

Sending hugs to everyone - glad for this community and not being alone in all this.

@CaliGirl47 thank you, do you find the tights stay up ok? I had read on here a few people saying they found mat tights fall down until you’ve got a big bump to hold them up, which is why I tried to go for bigger size “normal” tights. But I will definitely get some of the M&S ones if you get on well with them!

@HopefulBee its such an emotional rollercoaster isn’t it!! And it’s just not the same for the men! I don’t think my other half has any worries about it! We go through all this stress and worry and then when baby arrives we will be stressed and worried about something else, plus sleep deprived 😂 this chat definitely helps doesn’t it, I could have cried all morning and now I’m feeling really good!

Well I was a wally today ladies and showed up at my 16 week midwife appointment at the wrong hospital doh. In my defence my first midwife appointment was at a different hospital to the one I'm delivering at, she booked me in there for this one but I did get a letter saying the time had slightly changed and obviously neglected to notice that the hospital had changed too! Luckily they've got availability for Friday but I was soo looking forward to hearing the heartbeat as @Houseelf90 I also can't really feel a bump or where my uterus is and also don't think I've felt any movement so far either, so really could do with that reassurance to be honest!!

I'm also wearing M&S maternity tights in my normal size and they're staying up fine!

@kl1999 due date buddy I'm so happy you're having a boy! I'm convinced I'm having a boy but DH is convinced it's a girl. Neither of us mind either way but one of us is going to be verrry smug on scan day. Waiting until 20 week scan now as it's actually bang on the day (Sat 6 May - weird on a bank hol right?!)

@log51 just blame baby brain!!! But that is very confusing if your appointments keep changing hospitals, very easily done!! Fingers crossed Friday is a lucky day for us!
Thats good to know about the M&S tights; I’ll get ordering some!

@log51 Hey due date buddy! 🥰 Ahhh thank you so much! I'm so excited. No way! Your 20 week scan is the day after mine, I'm Friday 5th! ☀ It will be here before we know it my lovely. Hope all is well with you xxxx

Completely agree with what everyone else has said - we all feel anxious and overthink things/fear the worst. I do feel it's (painfully) normal, especially after experiencing a loss. Sometimes I wish I had the naivety like I did first time round to never contemplate something going wrong. But I can't rewind the clock and I'm sure we're all taking each day as it comes. Every milestone, appointment and scan just helps to hopefully boost our morale and confidence❤🌈

I find this group extremely comforting and supportive, and I love that we all feel this too. It makes those down days a little brighter and the good days even better!! 💕

Congrats @kl1999 on your scan 💙I had my gender scan today and it's a girl😍💗
Also wishing @Houseelf90 and @HopefulBee nice scans this week.

Just wondering if anyone else is still having the wierd taste thing going on? Mine is still here but a tiny bit better?

Congrats @Bizzybee900 Can't wait to have mine.

My taste thing has just about gone now. Was like the same one when I have a hangover?! Water tasted gross for so long and I could only drink squash