October - into the second trimester!

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Hi all,

Getting close to 4 threads filled - here's number 5!

@VictoriaBlossom Cute pic! How did telling the ILs go??

@cruciverbalista it should have been lovely. And for the first 10/20 minutes it was really lovely with a tearful MiL

Then they have consistently pressured us in to telling the rest of the family.

Of which I don't really want to do yet til my screenings back!

Boyfriend started a text message to the rest of his brothers (he's one of six) and has asked if I want to hold fire and I have asked for him to- and he's supported my decision.

I haven't told the in laws about my miscarriage, so maybe that is why they're just acting so forward in it all.

@cruciverbalista
I also went for a meal with one of my best friends and her hubby on Friday- her hubby is best friends with my boyfriend.....

She ordered lemonade and well done steak, I raised an eyebrow and she said she had news.

We had a really emotional pregnancy reveal with eachother as we had both kept it secret. Albeit she's not as far as me, I literally get a lump in my throat and goosebumps that we had such a beautiful moment together.

@VictoriaBlossom 50/50 chance of being right 😂😂😂😂

@VictoriaBlossom that's so incredibly sweet and amazing about your friend!!! My friend and I tested positive on the same day, our due dates are 4 days apart. She honestly keeps me sane. Its so lucky to have x

And I totally understand the hesitation to unleash the news with such a big family. It makes sense without them knowing about the miscarriage they aren't even thinking about that option! But of course they should be, it's only rational!

I'm just accepting we've lost control of the narrative at this point-- I know for a fact my parents have been blabbing all over the place. It'll be on them to share bad news if need be. I'm still waiting for my combined results letter... it's nearly 2 weeks now but all these bank holidays seem to be really slowing me down.

This gave me goosebumps and I don't even know you two! So lovely

@cruciverbalista I feel so excited to have someone to hold my hand through it, just to have the company and instead of doing my boyfriends head in, I can talk to her about baby shit 😂

re family- horrible isn't it, you want to be excited and happy but you're filled with dread knowing it's literally out of your hands.
I don't appreciate this feeling at all!
I'm sure there won't be bad news, but I feel like they have no respect for the fact you just want to keep it quiet for a while

@Alexandra07 @Jealousofchiliheeler thank you so much for the support, really helped. Unfortunately when I arrived, they had to cancel the appointment as the doctor is ill so I’ve rebooked for next week. Not idea but just one of those things.

@VictoriaBlossom glad everything went today. Lovely pic.

@ForeverAndEvers oh no! How frustrating....

@monsteramunch honestly it was the best ever moment. We have a really close relationship with them- boyfriend was their best man and we have gone on quite a few mini breaks away with them.

It was just so strange, I knew something was up with her, and she knew something was up with me, because we didn't speak a word in the car on our way to the restaurant- and in the restaurant we just made small talk.

We just keep texting eachother to say, "still can't believe Friday" 😂

I am having a nightmare trying to get hold of my midwife! I still haven’t had any blood tests for the screening, and I still don’t have a 16 week appointment! Getting really frustrated now 😔

Ignore my previous moan - finally managed to get in touch with someone!! Everything is later than expected (bloods weds, midwife appt at 17 +3) but at least it’s something!

I am also frustrated today @Chanteuse I just got my 12 week scan scheduled for May 9th!! I will be 15 weeks then. I am over 40, high risk and need to have a combine screening but at that time this won't be possible. I am fuming. My midwife told me she will try to book it this week. Instead I am given this date now and waiting for her to respond. I am so disappointed and have no trust that they will monitor me well. I will likely schedule a private scan to actually see the baby because I worry if he/she is really there and developing correctly. I need to travel 40 min to get to the private clinic and I am still feeling really poorly although my nausea has eased in the last two days. So I guess I'll just have to push through and hope that my NHS blood testing will give me some results.

@peonygirl can you call the hospital directly to rearrange the scan. I would try my best to explain how vital it is you’re seen this week or you can’t have the screening and are high risk.

This is so cute!!!

Yes, I think I will do that tomorrow if my midwife doesn't respond to my message. If they cannot move me, I will do a private scan this week just to be at peace.

@Chanteuse isn't it too late for your bloods? We're the same due date right, 15 weeks as of yesterday? I was told they need them by 14+1 at latest for combined screen.

@cruciverbalista it is too late for combined bloods unfortunately, but I didn’t get the combined screening as baby wasn’t getting into the correct position. So the bloods are downs screening by themselves. Frustrating because if I’d have had my scan earlier they’d have been able to have me in again! 😩 I’m just hoping I’m low risk 😕

What a pain. Hope you get the all clear @Chanteuse

@Chanteuse @peonygirl sorry to hear you're not having any luck getting appointments/bloods on time - but hopefully to reassure you, I only had the screening bloods last pregnancy as my dates were off, and they explained that whilst they're not quite as accurate as the combined tests the accuracy is still really high - so whilst frustrating, try not to worry too much.

I'd forgotten how frustrating contacting midwives was - woke up to bleeding this morning and the early pregnancy unit went straight to answerphone, as did the community midwife unit! Ended up having to speak to triage (who can't do anything under 20w) to get them to sort out a callback from someone who could advise me! 2 hours later the advice was just to rest...which hasn't happened with a 5yo and a 2yo at home! To say I'm stressed is an understatement!🤦‍♀️ thankfully no more blood so just keeping fingers crossed it stays that way!

@@ForeverAndEvers - I wrote a message to you on your post this morning but it didn't send. I suppose you are in the same position now as when I drafted it (really sorry they cancelled, that is tough).

Most of the time, scans are good news but sometimes they are bad news. There is nothing we can do about that, all we can do is gather our strength as we face them, and hold onto hope that we'll be in the huge statistical majority and it will all be clear.

I love in statistical/mathematical kind of environment so we were discussing the likelihood our baby would be delivered healthy, full term. Statistical likelihood is actually something like 97%. My own emotional experience of what I FEEL like the likelihood is, is around 63%. I think when you have a bad experience like yours (I had a something different but similar, Edwards diagnosis following 12 week scan) it really impacts your feeling of how common health issues with the baby in pregnancy are. But the actual figures are way more favourable. This is not everyone's way of thinking about the world, but it brings me comfort in scans which I don't feel very positive about, so I thought I would share.

Having just got over one cold I've woken up feeling totally terrible with a totally new virus. Having to take the day off work, feeling physically broken. I really hate the reduced immune system of pregnancy

Finally got my NIPt results back after more than 4 weeks of waiting and retesting. All low risk! So very relieved and really hoping I can start to enjoy this pregnancy a bit now.

Sorry to all of you feeling rubbish with colds and the like, I also feel like I’ve had every infection and virus under the sun in the past 3 months. Really hoping it improves as the pregnancy progresses. Hopefully as the weather gets nicer there will at least be less bugs making the rounds.

@Jealousofchiliheeler same! Felt progressively more awful all day yesterday, fatigued and sick and very slight sore throat. Found out in the evening, hence ill-advised googling and panic. Managed to speak to my duty midwife who was very reassuring. It seems like a very minor cold which has totally flattened me. I don't think I have a fever this morning but still feel totally drained. I have a private scan later though and still planning to go as I have been so anxious and this isn't helping! I've done a Covid test and it's negative so think I'll go and then take the rest of the day off work and rest.

@Saturnsmoon Finally! Great news!