October - into the second trimester!

[Needtobuildabridge]

Hi all,

Getting close to 4 threads filled - here's number 5!

@VictoriaBlossom - I didn't want to tell my in laws either so I just.... didn't? My husband is with them still and will tell them when I am not there. Unlikely to work in many families but you are not alone in really not wanting to do it.

@iloveeggs I had this dilemma recently so did a lot of googling. From what I read the chance of getting chicken pox twice is very low. Chicken pox in pregnancy can cause problems but all the warnings I read were aimed at people who hadn’t had chicken pox given the chance of getting it twice are so low. Not an expert but think it’s generally pretty low risk so down to personal choice. For me it was pretty easy to decide not to go as it was a low key meeting I could easily postpone but obviously a bit different for a family member on Easter!

@ForeverAndEvers Yeah google gave me the same, more aimed towards people who hadn't had it. I think I might just stay at home just to be safe, as there is still a low chance. Knowing me i'd be the unlucky one, I'm on immunosuppressants too so probably more of a chance 🙈

@EMcG3 the dynamic really changed on Mother's Day, it really upset me how his dad was so blunt and insensitive about it.
So I have now just continued to keep the lie up to save face.
It's all good and well saying about babies but what if we were struggling to conceive? I didn't tell them about the MC last year, and whenever we do tell them I'm planning my speech of how insensitive he's been throughout my pregnancy and that he should think before he engages his mouth

@iloveeggs so tough making all these decisions. I do think risk is low but you have to feel comfortable. Hope you enjoy your day anyway. Tbh a nap on my own is basically my ideal day night now!

@ForeverAndEvers I knooow, I feel guilty not going. Everyone has their own opinions on what's safe and not too so def people going to be saying what they think 🙄Gotta do what's right for myself though.

I think couch and chocolate for the day will be better anyways 😅

@iloveeggs I had a similar worry, as I'm a primary teacher with chicken pox in my class. GP said it is virtually impossible to catch chicken pox for a second time if you've already had it. It is still by rights technically possible, but extremely rare. I managed to check my booking bloods which confirmed I'm immune 👍

@VictoriaBlossom - I really feel you on this. My MIL asked if I was pregnant 5 weeks after I had an abortion for my baby with Edwards, at 18 weeks. I was at her place when I got the diagnosis, it was a big deal because I was in a country where I didn't have medical care, so not easily forgotten. I am not really a fighter but we had an awful fight about it. She is now very careful with me but I do not trust her social judgement. It was a terrible experience but I do think there is maybe slightly more sensitivity around pregnancy as a result? I hope that telling your FIL that you found his remarks insensitive helps him be more sensitive with others (and doesn't involve as much relationship damage as my fight did).

@iloveeggs i had it as a child but still wouldn’t have contact with a child with chicken pox naturally. Unless you have been vaccinated against it you can easily get it twice (I know loads of people who have. One of my step children has had it 3 times) and three adult members of my family have had shingles. As a teacher I know my risk assessment would require them to keep me away from teaching any classes if chicken pox was going round in them.

@EMcG3 oh what an awful position to be in. I'm really sorry you had to have such a tough experience and to get triggered after having to terminate your unborn child 😢
My MIL keeps making comments about having grandkids asap.
I joke and tell them we have to have sex to have a baby and I think she failed to tell her son about the birds and the bees
She soon leaves me the fuck alone.
FIL will get

Speaking of the birds and the bees has anyone held out and not dtd whilst pregnant. I'm dying for it but we are both so scared 😂

@iloveeggs my risk assessment in work sent a pupil home from my form group even though I’ve had chicken pox! She did still have active sores though so shouldn’t have been in.

DH and I have just got back from a wedding - was a 3hr drive from us in the Cotswolds so we stayed Friday/Saturday. I’m knackered! Two night without my pregnancy pillow 🤣 my sister is doing us a roast dinner later though so I’ll sleep like a baby.

@VictoriaBlossom we did avoid DTD initially and defo don’t do it as often but I’m def more relaxed about it now. Although I’m 14 weeks so a bit further ahead!

@VictoriaBlossom we've only dtd once in 12 weeks 🤣 I was super nervous about it but all was fine... My sex drive has disappeared 🙈 and I am always knackered by the evening.. I feel like I need to try and make an effort though, feeling sorry for my poor OH.. and despite not really being in the mood for it I do miss the intimacy!

@EMcG3 wow I can't believe you're mil, she probably has even forgotten how babies are made, even if you had overcome this traumatising experience, certainly 5 weeks later is too early to ask!
Sometimes difficult conversations need to be made, hopefully you helpful yourselves but others as well that will not hear any insensitive comments thanks to you.

@PrimarilyParented @Chanteuse Thank you! I decided to stay at home, I didn't feel comfortable taking any risks so better safe than sorry.

Hope everyone is having a nice easter!!

@iloveeggs you did the right thing. Otherwise you'd drive yourself insane afterwards as you're fully aware of the child having chicken pox

Ok I’m a bit late to the HCB chat but has anyone tried the cheese and onion ones? Didn’t think I would like them but oh my god they’re heaven!

We told the in-laws last night and they were lovely and very excited (opposite to what we were expecting) and my mum and grandad today. Both also very happy for us 🥰 still feels a bit surreal.

Hope you’ve all had a lovely Easter.

@VictoriaBlossom 100%! Going to get myself a McDonalds now. I can't stop eating it I'm going to be the size of a house!

@iloveeggs I decided to bite the bullet and buy the fake McDonald's stuff from Aldi yesterday. That's my breakfast sorted for tomorrow. Hoping it'll be yummy!

@VictoriaBlossom Just had nuggets, chips and a bacon double cheeseburger. I NEED TO STOP!

@iloveeggs if you're gonna do it, do it right.

And you, did it right 😊 I took my dog out for some meetings and bought her a hamburger.
I've never seen a dog so happy 😂

@VictoriaBlossom there’s no reason to not dtd unless advised by medical professionals. If you’re not in the mood though that’s also a good enough reason.

I am in the mood but too exhausted at bedtimes so we’re definitely not dtd as often (but still several times a week). My DP asked me if I’d noticed him being more gentle as he’s definitely conscious there’s a baby in there. To be honest though pregnancy orgasms are even more amazing that normal ones (all the extra blood or something) and so I’m far less worried than he is and just enjoying it 😂.

@PrimarilyParented I haven't had an orgasm in so long. We have literally had sex once this year.
I would love to do it several times a week but my other half just doesn't have the sex drive as he's on call a lot. So never relaxes. Drives me bloody insane.

We have agreed next weekend is our weekend as he's off call

Is anyone else's sickness getting worse before it gets better? Yes, it's twenty to 5 am and I'm up puking. I threw up 4 times on Friday and twice yesterday. Yesterday was 14 weeks 😑. I think I've read sometimes this happens just before the placenta takes over, does it resonate with anybody?

@cruciverbalista i am the same. Just turned 12 weeks but my sickness is getting worse not better. I was only sick twice in the whole of my last pregnancy and am constantly queasy this time (can’t drive for more than 10 minutes without feeling it, which is a pain as I live rurally) and have thrown up quite a lot. I’m on holiday now (teacher) so thought it would be better but it just seems to randomly hit and some days are awful and others are fine.

@VictoriaBlossom so we had the best Easter Sunday at the in-laws they were delighted … 2 bottles of champagne popped (I couldn’t have any 😂😅 which sucked) and my father in law has already started researching the Egg2 travel set I want as they’re buying us it 😩🤍🤍🤍 …
alround was a lovely day and I ate my body weight in food.
how was your day? 💓 any more thoughts on when you might break the news ?