October - into the second trimester!

[Needtobuildabridge]

Hi all,

Getting close to 4 threads filled - here's number 5!

Thanks! Hope everyone is ok! I’m over 13 weeks and still struggling with sickness and tiredness. Not as bad as it was though so hopefully there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
The baby still doesn’t seem real somehow!

Marking place 💕

We’re a chatty bunch aren’t we 😂

@Baby1023 I’m still knackered all the time too 😴 and terribly emotional!

I wondered if anyone’s experienced any negative comments around being pregnant? Like for example, someone will ask how I am and I’ll be honest and say I’m exhausted. Then they’ll go “OH MY GOD! Well you’d better get used to it!!! You’ll never sleep again when the baby gets here!!!” Or I’d said something to someone about struggling with the changes of my body and feeling massive and she said “Well you’re only gonna get bigger!!” 🥴

What is the point of these comments? It makes me feel sad, I’m already going through it, I’d love a positive story please 😂

@Chanteuse oh god yes, i had it so much with my first pregnancy! People seem to have no filter when it comes to pregnant woman, the amount of people who asked ‘was it planned’ 😮and then it was worse once she was born, one example - people always telling me she was hungry and should put rice in her bottle so she would sleep through ect because ‘thats what we did back in our day’
i had to learn to smile and nod and remember to add them to the ‘never leave alone with child’ list

@Itsokaymama honestly it’s so bizarre! I’m not saying I only want to hear the good stuff but it’s like all bets are off and you can just tell a pregnant woman that she’s gonna be a giant fat zombie 😂 how are you even supposed to respond?!

Can't believe we have the same number of threads as the June due date group 😂

So far most people have just been telling me they're 'not surprised' I'm pregnant. One of husband's friends actually asked me, 'haven't you been trying for a while?' (We hadn't, just had mentioned it might be on the table for this year a long while back. He's a bit... well, there's a few reasons I try to avoid this guy anyway.)

@Needtobuildabridge thanks for setting up a new one for us.

Place making 😁 xx

Wow, impressive going guys 😁 That's hilarious we have the same number of threads as the Due in June group 😆

Marking my place

10+3 and still no booking appt no scan date and not a peep from midwives!

@Chanteuse i had never thought of it like that. To be fair the only comment I had was funny. I’m a teacher and we were discussing one of the classrooms being too small to get round to see kids work and my head of department laughed and said ‘well you definitely won’t be able to soon’. I thought it was quite funny really.

That being said I’ve had enough negativity from my parents. Not about my pregnancy per se but basically they just don’t like my partner because he already has kids (as do I, so it’s hypocritical) even though he loves them to pieces, has them 50% of the time and does absolutely everything a dad should do for his kids. He’s an amazing dad to his own and my DS (his dad is absent) and it’s a huge part of why I love him so much and absolutely why I wanted us to have to a baby together. But my parents have just never approved from day 1 because his last marriage failed. There’s nothing I can do to change their view and giving it time hasn’t helped. We had a big fall out this week because I just can’t take the mean, snipey comments and disapproval any more (pregnancy has made me very protective over our family unit and emotional, but my feelings predate this so I know it’s not just me being emotional and throwing a tantrum).

Marking my place. 10 weeks tomorrow

@PrimarilyParented I’m sorry to hear about your falling out with your parents but that sounds so annoying for you! They should be able to trust your judgment and support their child 😕

On the topic of comments - I get this all the time! I am feeling horrible, tired, nauseous all the time, day in, day out and everyone is telling me this is normal. I don't feel normal - I am totally incapacitated, I cannot do anything, I am on sick leave, I am on my own all the time. It is super hard and doesn't feel normal at any rate. So I kinda stopped explaining and just say yeah, it's still tough.

I haven't told many people about my pregnancy - it is also still early, I am 10 weeks. I don't have family just my dad and we are not close. I plan to be fairly quiet about my pregnancy as I am on an older scale and I get really weird looks. As if I just decided to have a kid this late in life! People have been quite good of not asking me any questions before but the two who know me over 20 years were shocked when I told them and there hasn't been any follow up questions on how I am feeling etc. There were comments to my lamenting of nausea in the lines of "Yeah, I know, I've been through it twice." And then an advice how worse it will become and how tired I will be even in my second trimester and how demanding it is to have a new born. Majority of my friends have kids in their late teens so cannot imagine pregnancy again. I feel they don't really know how to react but I have been happy for them, followed their kids growing up, buying gifts...my emotional side feels being let down now but maybe they will come around later on. Hence - less I share, easier it is. But of course it can be also very isolating experience. I am lucky to have a lot of friends so those who are around are wonderfully supportive and attentive.

@PrimarilyParented that sounds really tough and so frustrating! My DH had a child from his previous marriage and seeing the amazing Dad he is to her was absolutely one of the things I fell in love with! Very lucky that my family were supportive of us from the beginning. I can't imagine how painful it is to have your parents disapproving of the man you love for no good reason. Sending you lots of love and light. You sound like your immediate family unit is great - this will be a lucky little baby indeed 🥰

@DSP21 that's so frustrating - have you chased again? I'm 10wks today and had my booking last Weds. Scan booked in (not until 28th April but at least I have a date to work towards!) - you must be getting quite frustrated and antsy now! Hope you hear something very soon!

@peonygirl sounds like some of your friends aren't being the most supportive. Hope they come round for you soon. In the meantime you have us too 🥰 I think quite a few of us are older Mums. I'm 37 and I had just turned 35 when I gave birth to my first. One of my good friends was 41 when she had her little girl and they are doing great!

Place marking 💕

Currently 11+1 and 12 week scan is on Thursday 😊

Marking place on new thread. Just back from a few days holiday so missed a lot of the last thread.

Marking my place 💕💕

@peonygirl when friends let you down it is really hard. If they have young kids or some serious stuff going on in their life, I’d probably give them a pass as they’re probably just too exhausted to remember to check in. But I suspect if they have older kids that it’s the same issue as people who have a baby younger when their friends are all out partying, basically they’re just at a different stage in life and not that interested. It’s not nice at all for you but I have seen a lot of mumsnet threads about people losing their friends who don’t have kids. I didn’t lose my friends, but had to relocate when having my son due to becoming a lone parent. My friends were supportive over message but very far away and so it was still very lonely.

Just had my scan. It was too early for them to do the screening and they put me at 10w2d so practically the same as I thought.

Little one was waving their little hand around and measured a tiny 34mm. 🥰

The sonographer said everything looks good so now we’re debating whether to tell parents this weekend or not 😬

Congrats @BeaKind lovely pic!

@BeaKind

Aah such a cute pic!

Can't wait for my scan on Friday 🥰

@BeaKind aw lovely pic - glad all is looking good! 🥰

Marking my place on this new thread! 👶🏼🌸

@BeaKind soooo cute!!!