35 weeks pregnant, how to put baby up for adoption

[solosunflower]

As the title says really, how would I start this process?

Personally I think you should try the dairy free formula. My eldest was on it and it made a huge difference. Also, because you don’t know if it will make a difference until you try.

Redgarding 'trying dairy free' I have to agree with the GP pharmacist's advice to you, OP, from my experience. Intolerance to dairy is very rare in young babies and an actual allergy to dairy is very easy to spot and diagnose in very young babies as they will develop a classic allergy rash.

I think you're doing brilliantly btw, OP, with lots of empathy for your baby and lots of intuitive care for him

Your doctor sounds supremely unhelpful and if you can then ask to see someone different next time. I would strongly suggest that baby has silent reflux and needs some meds, not gaviscon as it’s useless (in my experience). My babies both had it. Its painful for them as the acid hurts on the way up and the way back down, baby will still gain weight as not sicking it up. Happier upright and makes quite a specific wriggling - throwing arms out when having an episode. Also cluster feeds for. Long periods as the milk going down is soothing. A baby so small cant possibly have behavioural issues and only cries to communicate. Please do some googling of silent reflux and if it sounds like your baby then arm yourself with all the evidence and be firm in asking for meds stronger than gaviscon. It used to be ranitidine but I believe they don’t use that any more.

Quick update as I am staying the night on the children’s ward with my son for observations. I have finally found someone who agrees that something is definitely not right. They are looking at silent reflux to start. Awoke to find my baby with a hoarse cry this morning 😥

Hi @solosunflower , sounds like you are doing brilliant!

Might not be great but my first was a really bad crier and it caused me huge anxiety to hear it and I couldn’t stop it. I sometimes put in noise cancellation headphones and played music while I comforted her. It just meant I was not about to have a breakdown and was able to be there for her.

It will get better and you are really doing well.

Aww poor wee guy. Fingers crossed they get to the bottom of it.
Big hugs to you Solo

Well done for trusting your instincts! I'm so glad you're getting some help, good luck!

This wasn't the case for me, my baby had very vague symptons that could have been anything, when weaning she had a very severe reaction, 5 years later has a diagnosed IGE dairy allergy with epipens and under consultant care.

Sorry that the crying persists but I'm glad to hear that it's being investigated. I hope they find a treatable cause quickly.

You mentioned worry about brain development a couple of times, just wanted to say I've met a few screamer babies and none of them had any issues later on. It's more likely that the parents' brains get addled by the worry... but they too did recover.

Trust your instincts.

to the people who keep saying my baby cried a lot too, well there are different types of cries, you do t know how this baby cries, it might be a serious or ongoing issue and it’s better to trust your instincts and get it checked.

could it be silent reflux or colics? hope it went alright and you got some answers

How are you both this morning?
Did you get much sleep?
Fingers crossed they are able to get to the bottom of it.

Hope they get to the bottom of things OP x

Good morning,
I have read through your thread and I think you’re really brave and strong. I hope you and your little boy are ok. I hope to see an update from you soon but keep going, you’re doing great x

So glad that they are taking you seriously. Don’t let them send you home with just a prescription for gaviscon, push for something stronger. It will get better once baby is medicated.

I've been thinking about you and baby all day how is he and how are you ?
Any further forward?

@Sugarfree23 Thank you everyone for the moral support. It is much needed right now!
So yes, I have liquid omeprazole. Three doses in and today things have seemed worse. I know it can take up to a week, so still time. I hate to post because everything is so negative. He is only 9 weeks, yet feels so strong when he fights me. Everything feels like a battle. Literally everything I do results in crying/fussing/fighting. Plus he's trying all the time to lift himself forwards to sit up, so I'm also worried about strains to the neck. I do wonder if there is something more going on. Maybe a sensory or developmental issue. I honestly can't imagine him being a 'normal' baby.

Oh what a time your having with him , I'm nervous for my one due next month. I was hoping that you'd see an improvement, did you switch to dairy free milk? Hope you get to the bottom of it keep strong and hope you get a good nights rest tonight x

@airmaxJ Hello. No, the doctor wants to try the reflux medication before looking at allergies. He doesn't present as a baby with a dairy intolerance. I think he struggles with being very alert and responsive, too. At one point I did think things would improve at the three month mark, but now I'm thinking it will be when he's more mobile.

Ahh don't be nervous. It will all come good.

Maybe he is in pain poor thing. If he has silent reflux lying down may be more painful. He might need to be propped up.
Trying to lift himself up is a good sign that he is developmentally doing well. His muscles in his neck must be well developed for him to do so. I think you're worrying too much. Do you think it could be anxiety that's making you worry about this?

@solosunflower don't ever worry about being negative when you are posting. You are having a tough time right now and need all the support you can get.

I assume you are home from hospital? Hopefully the medication will do the job. But if it doesn't then go back to the GP and ask for help.

If he wants to be upright then prop him up. My oldest was nosy and wouldn't sleep. My youngest never wanted to be lying down, he'd sleep but on my chest. Even the day after he was born he wanted held upright on your shoulder, never cradled in your arms if that makes sense.

Babies wee people and they are all different.

Silent reflux hurts, best thing is to keep him upright as much as possible, sling if possible, my youngest slept whilst moving or whilst on me (no help to tired mum of course), but that calmed once the medicine kicked in. Is tongue tie an issue at all? And also, we had a cranial osteopath come do their thing and although anecdotal, it helped. It does get better, and this makes it harder, i dont know if it still exists, but there was a brilliant silent reflux thread on here somewhere that helped me a lot.

Yes my boy wanted to be upright from a young age. Hated lying flat on his back as a tiny newborn - would just scream and scream - and we came to the conclusion he had silent reflux. We made his cot matress slanting by putting a cushion underneath and that helped. He also much preferred being held upright on the shoulder than being cradled. Loved being upright in a bouncy chair. Go with what works, every baby is different. It might be a combination of nosiness and silent reflux.

I had terrible problems with reflux my baby would puke every time he lay flat and was very colicky.
Things that helped - cow and gate carobel but you may need a thicker teat, you can adjust the thickness of the milk.

Keeping him upright at least 20 min after a feed.
You can raise the cot at one end but i dont think its recommended..i did this once and found my poor baby slid right down so if you do this only do it very slightly.
Infacol i found surprisingly helped..not sure why but it is supposed to relieve wind..some say it doesn't help though.

Gaviscon thickener didn't help as it made ds constipated so if you go that route you may need a stool softener such as movicol. (Obviously check with your doctor).

It sounds so tough OP! You will get there, I hope very soon.

My DS had colic and a dairy allergy, but the allergy didn't manifest until around 5 months when the colic had stopped. He was covered in a rash and very puffy!

His colic however, he was a screamer who would only be comfortable lying on his tummy. He was in SCBU for 1 week after birth, they had him on his tummy there as he would scream the place down and would not settle and as he had breathing problems from been prem they had to settle him. So when he came home that was the only way he would sleep in the end. A bit stressful as it's not recommended. Might be worth trying while you are with him during a nap? Also the cot tilt helped. He grew out of it around the 12 week mark ish. I really hope your little one does too.

We have a reflux baby at 6 weeks, he doesn't stop crying unless he is upright 😢 he's my 3rd and I can say it's been really tough. He crys in the car, in his pram and nothing is comforting unless he's on me, I literally have a 3rd limb.

Our 2nd born had silent reflux and that was sheer hell during lockdown, he would scream for hours until we got special thick milk as not even thickener helped.

I can't really give advice to fix it, we keep baby upright after a feed, in a good upright bouncer after feeds too (Babybjorn bouncer is amazing) and making sure baby is slightly upright with legs lower as it really helps with vomiting. Good luck op