August Due Date Crew - Trimester 2 (Thread 7)

[AnnieApple123]

As always, newbies are most welcome.

Apologies if I’ve missed anyone. Do shout if so. Ditto if you have any changes or updates.

July
26th @MidnightSunshine12
27th
28th
29th @DesertSnow @Mulner88 @Porcupette @Loudmouth1 & @overwork
30th
31st @AnnieApple123 & @BusyBushBaby

August
1st* *@ChloeN @CityKity & @SnowL2021
2nd @sprollie11
3rd @PumpkinEverything @Chl0o@Miraclesdohappen88 & @LS88
4th @BMK @Alpacabag22
@Amme18 & @UsernameNotPresent
5th @LBF2020 @Desperatelyboredhousewife & @BoodifulGoose
6th@buttercupbee@somuchtolearnabout @Rowanandremy & @TattyTil
7th @marleyandme
8th @RGxo13
9th
10th @VickiGo& @Sjw30
11th @tax19@nadsc& @@Rose05
12th
13th @sally16 @newmummie & @@Nic2908
14th
15th @Gizzyanne
16th @Recoba
17th @Narwhal88, @jollydollyirl& @cococat88
18th @sommeliermama& @EsmeSusanOgg
19th @Firsttimemomma1 @P1pk& @allgoodthings84
20th
21st @BCxx
22nd
23rd @MinnieFirstTimeMum
24th
25th @unluckyinlife
26th @MummaYoung2023 & @Wife2b
27th
28th
29th
30th
31st

September
1st @froglou

Also @SkullCollector. Apologies, I don’t have a date for you yet.

Oh well done @DesertSnow that must have taken you ages! I'm all correct. Though I'm fairly certain I saw boy bits I'd have rather not known until the birth so I'll stay yellow I think!

Thank you @DesertSnow 🥰

@DesertSnow yes mine is right! My 20 week scan is on the 15th March but I have an extra scan on Monday next week because I have a weird antibody and I’m hoping they might be able to tell me then what we’re having 🤞🏻

@DesertSnow thanks for the list. My dates are correct too 😊 and also hoping to hold out on the sex reveal for birth 🤞

@Createcomet well done for getting out for a run. That's a real achievement! I went back to the gym on Monday after a little break and it made me feel loads better mentally.
I'm also sorry you are having a difficult time with your ILs. It sounds as though they feel very awkward about being positive which is such a shame 😢 I know it must really hard for her, but if it was the other way round they'd probably expect you to be happy (and I'm sure you would be!)
In your situation I might try to talk about the pregnancy often in passing with your ils, it might make it less of a taboo subject for them? And if they're on board then hopefully sil will come round too.

I've always dreaded the gym, but I go because I know it's good for me. I'm almost jealous hearing about all your workouts. My knee is still giving me problems, physio suspects ruptured ACL. GP has repeatedly refused me an MRI because I'm pregnant. I work in bloody radiology, I'm well aware that MRI is not contraindicated at this gestation but he just won't budge. Have visions of being fatter than necessary for a pregnant woman, hobbling about on my deteriorating knee and then struggling through labour because I've let myself get so unfit!

Also @Nic2908 you really have some extraordinary strength. I think everyone was a little quiet as our little gripes feel so minor compared to what you are dealing with, but I'm so pleased you're still keeping an eye on us!

@LBF2020 well done on getting back to the gym! It makes such a difference doesn't it?

Yeah it's a strange situation with ILs. Absolutely don't want to be centre of attention, but feel like I'm treading on eggshells allllll the time trying to avoid even mentioning that I'm pregnant. Even being asked if we have any holidays booked is a hard question to answer without mentioning that I'm pregnant. Husband has decided to just keep mentioning it in front of his parents and drip feed them with it. Because I think when baby is born they're going to regret not celebrating the pregnancy. And yes, I have no doubt at all that if SIL fell pregnant tomorrow and then I miscarried next week (totally open to this possibility having had losses before...Obvs really don't want it to happen but also not of the mindset that these things happen to other people) that I would still be expected to be happy for SIL and let her talk about it in front of us....And I would genuinely be happy for her. Because I know that me miscarrying would have absolutely nothing to do with her conceiving, and I can separate the two in my head.

Its a very odd situation!

@Porcupette - do you have M antibodies? If so - snap. I got told after my booking in appt bloods and my midwife didn’t seem to know much about it which didn’t reassure me. Thankfully I’ve since spoken to the registrar under my consultant and have a slightly better understanding. X

@AlexM7 No, Fya for me, didn’t have them first time round but have had a transfusion since so they assume that’s why. This page has loads of useful info if you can be bothered to wade through it, but essentially neither of ours are one of the top-three that cause problems, which is why the midwives aren’t very up on it! The consultant was lovely when I met with him and between that appointment and my research I’m feeling much better! I have to have a scan fortnightly just to keep an eye on them, is yours the same?

@Createcomet It’s so tricky when it’s not happening for others around you. There just aren’t straightforward solutions a lot of the time. I’m really struggling with this too. I have friends who still haven’t managed to conceive a lasting first pregnancy in the same timeframe that I now seem to have managed a second. Hence I have a real survivor’s guilt type feeling about this pregnancy and have had a lot of thoughts of, ‘How did I get so lucky? Why me? I don’t deserve this any more than they do. This isn’t really fair.’ It’s what fuels a lot of my anxiety I think. It’s as if I can’t quite believe I’ve truly been this lucky and am just waiting for something to go wrong.

The whole thing of having to play down your good news to not be insensitive to someone else’s bad news (or not good news yet) is so hard. I think life does need to be celebrated regardless and every baby is a miracle! I also know that feeling though of being the person trying to tip toe round a friend when I was pregnant last time as she’d had three losses. I used to avoid mentioning it and would wear things not to draw attention to it, like it wasn’t happening. I’m sure realistically she was hurt by her own situation and my situation really didn’t make much difference to that. I was so sensitive to her situation though, especially when he was a newborn. One day I was out a walk and saw her further up the street, she was with her husband so we both smiled and were obviously going to stop and chat when we got to them. She went in the house and slammed the door shut really obviously, clearly because me pushing a pram was painful for her but it then was also painful for me because I walked home just feeling so bad and like I’d done something wrong (for being out a walk with my child). It is hard on both sides as you really do end up feeling like you have to mute one of the happiest times of your life to save someone else’s feelings 😔 She now has a baby so everything turned out well for them and of course I was delighted and make a huge deal of their baby every time I see them but I do still hold a slight weird feeling about how I had to sort of pretend mine didn’t exist at that stage 🙈

@jjeanii I get those tightenings. I have been overdoing it a bit in the last week moving boxes that are a bit too heavy, so was blaming it on that. I am taking it a bit easy now, as they did freak me out a little.
@DesertSnow thanks for updating, I am having a boy 💙
@Createcomet one of my best friends is struggling with infertility, and it looks like children won't happen for her. Despite this being my second pregnancy, I am still not sure of the best way to handle it. I am letting her take the lead on baby chat, and take it from there.

Thanks for the link - will have a look through. I didn’t have M antibodies in my first pregnancy either and haven’t had a transfusion. They tested my husband and he has the M antigen so maybe my son has too and I developed the antibodies after delivering him. Who knows?!
Thats great you’re getting such regular scans. Not the case for me I’m afraid - they said they will just test my blood again at 28 weeks. I have been for a couple private reassurance scans though as it definitely had me worried and all looking good so far. Next scan is the 28th March xx

@BCxx I identify with a lot of that. In both my pregnancies I’ve had friends who were pregnant at the same time but similar dates but went on to miscarry. They’ve both been friends who had had difficult journeys already and so couldn’t feel confident it would happen again for them. The friend from last time does now at last have a baby but it took her another two years to get that lasting pregnancy. I didn’t have much contact with her during that whole time really. I used to ummm and ahhh lots about whether to reach out to her, yet I was so conscious that I’d always be a reminder of where she could have been. It felt like such dilemma as I didn’t want her to think I’d moved on and forgotten about her either. I really missed her as a friend and had been so looking forward to going through all the parenting stages together. Same with the friend this time. I’ve also just found out this week that a friend who’s had several failed IVF attempts had a surprise natural pregnancy but has now miscarried at 8 weeks. She’s saying she’s not sure she can find the strength to try again. Just heartbreaking. xxx

Pregnancy is birth is such a minefield and its so hard when we're all on such different journeys.

I've had a couple of early losses and then had my first in lockdown (emergency section), I think I saw my mum once the entire pregnancy, it was so strange! Although I know I've been hugely lucky to avoid fertility problems, I feel like it's not been massively straightforward, as it isn't for most of us.

I really really feel for my SiL. I don't know how best to support her. She's really lovely with me, but as soon as I hint that I can't do something in the future because I'm pregnant she just changes the subject, which I totally understand. I've always done my best to support her through difficult things, even though when I had a miscarriage she wasn't very supportive and didn't know how to handle it. I don't want to be insensitive to her in anyway.

What I don't understand is why my MIL is doing the same even when SIL isn't around. She's really showing no interest at all and it isn't like her. It's also now getting to my Husband because MIL doesn't seem interested in hospital appointments and the health of the baby. Perhaps after 20 weeks things will change.

I was hoping that I could finally celebrate this pregnancy. I spent the whole time with my first worried that I was going to lose him, and I told myself that this time I would find the courage to celebrate, even though I know that a healthy baby isn't always a guarantee at the end of this. I even bought a little baby outfit which is a massive step for me, because with my son I refused to buy anything until 30 weeks and then when we had to buy a moses basket I got upset because I was worried it was too soon 🤣🤦‍♀️

We're all on such different journeys with pregnancy, it's always going to be a really tough topic to navigate I think.

@Createcomet That does sound very upsetting how your MIL is being. I wonder whether it’s just very hard for her to see you pregnant when it’s not happening for her own daughter and she’d really hoped her daughter would get there first after all this time? You are family too though so you’d think she might try to put on more of an act for you even if she’s struggling?

Morning ladies, sorry I've been so quiet but work has busy and I've started aquanatal and walking some evenings. Want to start yoga but taking my time to start everything gradually.

I'm 16wks exactly today and we haven't widely shared our news still as I feel like u don't want to upset anyone who is trying it's taken us a while to get here so I've just held off but my belly is popping out now so I won't be able to hide it much longer.

@DesertSnow thank you for the list thats my date, although my midwife the other day said I may be induced early. But I'm trying not to think about that until my appt with consultant at the end of April.

I'm so happy for those hearing heartbeats and finding genders out. My midwife said I can hear heartbeat at next appt in May!! And for now we will until our scan in April to find out gender.

My symptoms have almost gone but the vivid dreams I've had since week3 and still going. I've had a few sleepless nights but that's about it.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend.

@AnnieApple123 @Createcomet as someone who took 4 years and 6 IVF cycles to conceive I can understand both sides. It's incredibly hard on both parties. I would say from my point of view I wouldn't want to be ignored or hidden from but rather just know that person is sensitive to my situation and didn't seem to rub their pregnancy in my face every 2 seconds! I would never have denied someone being happy and discussing their pregnancy but it did upset me, even if I knew this was absolutely my issue and not theirs. This meant when my SIL got pregnant I ended up avoiding any situation in which they would be there, just to protect my heart, which meant I missed a lot of family events as it wasn't fair they missed them because of my situation. They didn't take it well though and she got very angry with me for not attending the baby shower, even though I did try and explain why. My parents celebrated her pregnancy though and I wouldn't have expected anything less. To ignore your pregnancy is very strange imo!
When my friend got pregnant she handled it differently and told me so sensitively and never gave me updates about the baby unless I asked (which I did), she still invited me to things but said she understood if it would be too hard for me. It really helped and made it so much easier.
People with infertility/ pregnancy loss are not unhappy for pregnant people, they are just sad for themselves and it's a reminder of what they want so bad and may never have. That doesn't mean you should have to hide or not celebrate though.

@AnnieApple123 oh jeez that’s tough for her, was hoping that was going to be a happy ending with the surprise natural pregnancy ☹️ It’s so hard on both parts and I can imagine it’s near impossible to fake a smile etc if you’re in their boat and you go to see a new baby. I didn’t ever expect her to come and visit but she messaged asking a while after he was born and said she was ready so came then. From that point onwards it’s been fine. I was even nervous announcing my second pregnancy to her in case they were only going to have one now after having such a difficult road to get there but when I was newly pregnant and hadnt told her she started talking about not wanting to wait too long for a second. I was instantly relieved that she wouldn’t feel resentful at me having a second and felt okay about telling her after that! It’s so so difficult.

I watch that Alex Jones IVF programme and cry just about every week. I didn’t know much about IVF before that but when you see how many people eventually just have to walk away after their last attempt and not try again, it’s so heart breaking 😞 it takes so much out of them with every attempt though that it must be so hard (money wise too!) to be able to keep going back for another round

Hi, hope you don't mind me asking a question. I am due on the 21st August and was wondering at your 16 week appointment did you get a scan or hear the baby's heartbeat?

@Justdancinginthedark the 16 week midwife appointment? Neither for me, although lots of people do get to hear the heartbeat I think it depends where you live!

@Justdancinginthedark I had my 16 week appointment yesterday and they didn't offer it. But depends where you live!

Think it definitely depends on the area you are in, I had my 16week appt yesterday and they did the baby heartbeat

@P1pk I did a kind of half arsed announcement today.. purely because I look pregnant now and there no hiding it 😅
So many shocked messages hahaha!

@sally16 true I'm probably going to have to tell people I'm not fat, pregnant now lol I've got a family party in 2 weeks so will share before then I guess.

@Justdancinginthedark I just had my 16 wk appt and I didn't hear baby's heart beat, but my midwife said at my next appt she will let us hear it. That's in May so I will be 24weeks by then.

@Justdancinginthedark my due date twin ☺️ We’re going for a private 16 week scan and will get to hear the heart beat (we did last time) but here you just get a 16 week phone call with the midwife, not even an in-person appointment