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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Just for fun - what was your 'push present'?

240 replies

AWholeNewWorls · 04/02/2023 09:48

I'm curious! I've only just come across this term!
What did your partner/husband give you if anything? And for which number baby?

I'm pregnant with my first and our midwife mentioned it in our NCT class, specifically an eternity ring! Apparently it's quite common..? I fit in the 'millennial generation' and apparently have been living under a rock 😂

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GreenBiscuitr · 04/02/2023 10:45

I got a beautiful and unusual ruby ring for the first and an aquamarine for the 2nd.

LadyJ2023 · 04/02/2023 10:45

Erm none apart from 3 babies lol 😆

DelphiniumBlue · 04/02/2023 10:45

The best cup of tea ever!

RaininSummer · 04/02/2023 10:46

Never come across this in real life. I don't like it as a term as it seems kind of transactional and makes women sound like vessels a bit like handmaids.

mrsmacmc · 04/02/2023 10:46

Traditionally it's an eternity ring. One of the ladies in my friends NCT class demanded (and got) a Tesla 🤦‍♀️

WednesdaysPlaits · 04/02/2023 10:46

Supremely tacky

And this has a “research for my article” vibe

Saschka · 04/02/2023 10:46

Businessflake · 04/02/2023 10:40

I think the term push present it awful. But I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with a man wanting to buy a nice gift for the woman he loves after she’s been through pregnancy and childbirth.

I got an eternity band a couple of years ago, not sure if it was a “push present” or a 40th birthday present to be honest, they were within a few weeks of each other. We went together to pick it about a year later (wanted my fat fingers to slim down first, then covid, so….).

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There’s definitely an old money “thank you for providing me with an heir” vibe which I find a bit yukky. Like, now the wife has fulfilled her role of child-production, she gets a reward. It’s traditionally only a gift for the first boy as well, girls and subsequent boys don’t merit prizes as they aren’t worth anything dynastically.

Having a baby wasn’t a gift to my husband, and he didn’t need to give me payment in kind for it.

Hidingawaytoday · 04/02/2023 10:46

An epidural 😆

Faradalla · 04/02/2023 10:47

SallyWD · 04/02/2023 10:45

Nothing! I find the idea a bit tacky. After having our second he got me a big bunch of flowers (because I asked him to 😆). We were both more focused on the baby than getting gifts.

But you asked him to get you a gift?

MichaelKeaton · 04/02/2023 10:47

Bought myself a super car. Put the baby seat in the front.

Andanotherone01 · 04/02/2023 10:48

Johnnysgirl · 04/02/2023 10:44

But I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with a man wanting to buy a nice gift for the woman he loves after she’s been through pregnancy and childbirth
Of course there isn't. It's the "I've pushed your baby out, gimme diamonds" thing that people think is gross and tacky. Although I'm a complete fun sponge for saying it 😁

And literally one popped up to proclaim “I wanted diamonds!” It’s all very Veruca Salt

2chocolateoranges · 04/02/2023 10:49

Never heard of the term push present until I came onto mums net but dh did buy me a gift after each of our babies were born.

I got a diamond pendant and earrings after our eldest and a diamond eternity ring after our youngest.

I didn’t ask for them, he surprised me. Tacky? Certainly not, diamonds are never tacky,. it was a gift of love after the horrendous labour id had especially with the first . Ds was lucky to be alive.

Donotgogentle · 04/02/2023 10:49

Saschka · 04/02/2023 10:46

There’s definitely an old money “thank you for providing me with an heir” vibe which I find a bit yukky. Like, now the wife has fulfilled her role of child-production, she gets a reward. It’s traditionally only a gift for the first boy as well, girls and subsequent boys don’t merit prizes as they aren’t worth anything dynastically.

Having a baby wasn’t a gift to my husband, and he didn’t need to give me payment in kind for it.

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I agree. Or as minimalme said upthread, a reward for being a good breeder.

On the other hand, being pregnant is shit so perhaps just take the diamonds.

Andypandy799 · 04/02/2023 10:51

For our first dc I didn’t but my dw a push present but our son was a surviving identical twin and his brother was still born as complications with TTTS.

I bought my partner a sapphire and diamond ring with two sapphires and two steiff teddy’s for the boys. My son is 11 now and his bear is still his best friend 😭

YourGazeHitsTheSideOfMyFace · 04/02/2023 10:51

The idea of a ‘push present’, rather than something like an eternity ring, sounds oddly transactional and feels very patriarchal to me. ‘Well done, little lady, for producing my heir successfully. You have done your wifely duty. Look, here’s a pretty thing for you, in return’.

I think it’s the term, probably more than the sentiment. Though I do suspect that many of the men who do this are more likely to be found out and about somewhere choosing shiny things, than getting stuck in to the dirty nappies and cleaning the house at crucial times. Gestures are easy, but it’s the solid, practical stuff that makes a relationship work.

I’m absolutely with you all on the food and drink, though!

Zonder · 04/02/2023 10:51

Mum of teens here and never heard of it.

chupachump · 04/02/2023 10:52

SallyWD · 04/02/2023 10:45

Nothing! I find the idea a bit tacky. After having our second he got me a big bunch of flowers (because I asked him to 😆). We were both more focused on the baby than getting gifts.

Apart from the flowers which you asked for, even though you're not bothered. 😂

People are so weird on here about gifts.
In my life we celebrate stuff, we like an excuse for a gift or a party, even a silly little thing.

I think I deserve a diamond every time I have to wash my dog's shitty arse let alone carrying and having a baby.

As for the 'I just wanted a healthy baby' brigade. We all want that, it's a given. You don't get a prize for being the least shallow. Plus, you wouldn't want it anyway would you, because you don't need gifts. 😂

MichaelKeaton · 04/02/2023 10:54

SallyWD · 04/02/2023 10:45

Nothing! I find the idea a bit tacky. After having our second he got me a big bunch of flowers (because I asked him to 😆). We were both more focused on the baby than getting gifts.

If you find it so tacky, why did you ask for a present of flowers?

DarkForces · 04/02/2023 10:54

DH would have had to get a pull present for the amazing doctor on the other end of the forceps. He did a lot more work than I did and was really supportive of my attempts to push as he had to use his foot on the bed for extra traction to drag dd out.
He was absolutely lovely. I'll never forget him

Tansytea · 04/02/2023 10:54

4thonthe4th · 04/02/2023 10:33

Buying gifts for people? No, I believe it’s a world wide phenomenon

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It's a sarcasm fail or a serious question, I can't decide which. Assuming you aren't that bright, the question is, the term: push present. Is it an American import?

darjeelingrose · 04/02/2023 10:56

MichaelKeaton · 04/02/2023 10:54

If you find it so tacky, why did you ask for a present of flowers?

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I don't think that push present suggests flowers personally. That's weird. How would that be a push present, unless you never buy flowers or get them bought for you.

Newnamefornewyear2023 · 04/02/2023 10:56

Agree with all posters saying it’s tacky, consumerist and unnecessary. My two are 3 and 7

superdupernova · 04/02/2023 10:57

I was in the hospital for a week and when I got home my DP had bought me 7 dressing gowns and matching pairs of slippers. All in various thickness from super fluffy to silk. Apparently his sister had told him to make sure I had a nice dressing gown and slippers for getting up in the middle of the night. He panicked.

LordEdgeware · 04/02/2023 10:58

superdupernova · 04/02/2023 10:57

I was in the hospital for a week and when I got home my DP had bought me 7 dressing gowns and matching pairs of slippers. All in various thickness from super fluffy to silk. Apparently his sister had told him to make sure I had a nice dressing gown and slippers for getting up in the middle of the night. He panicked.

Didn’t he just!

plumduck · 04/02/2023 11:00

It's vile.

Food I can understand but anything else is really weird and makes me feel a bit ick.