August Due Date Crew - Into Trimester 2 (Thread 6)

[AnnieApple123]

As always, newbies are most welcome.

Apologies if I’ve missed out anyone who gave a date. Do shout if so. Ditto if you’d like to be added or have updates.

July
26th @MidnightSunshine12
27th
28th
29th @DesertSnow,@Mulner88 & @overwork
30th
31st @AnnieApple123

August
1st @ChloeN & @SnowL2021
2nd @Amme18
3rd @PumpkinEverything, @Chl0o & @LS888
4th @BMK & @UsernameNotPresent
5th @BusyBushBaby @LBF2020 & @BoodifulGoose
6th
7th @CityKity
8th @Sjw30
9th @marleyandme & @buttercupbee
10th @VickiGo & @Desperatelyboredhousewife
11th
12th @Rose05
13th @sally16
14th
15th @BCxx & @nadsc
16th
17th @narwhal88
18th
19th @Firsttimemomma1 , @P1pk & @Nic2908
20th
21st
22nd
23rd
24th
25th
26th
27th
28th
29th
30th @unluckyinlife

Re weight gain, my BMI is over and the scale for that basically says put nothing on the entire pregnancy so you lose weight 😅 I have actually lost a few pounds so far with sickness and aversions! But not had a very healthy diet 🫣

Thank you to everyone who wished me good luck for the scan - baby all good and measuring four days ahead so new due date is 11th august making me 13 weeks today! Finally in the 2nd trimester. Annoyingly, no photos except for the cheeky one I took when the sonographer was doing my report.

Great news @nadsc! Really disappointing though that some places don’t do photos. Will you get one at 20 weeks?

@nadsc congrats!
@sally16 I never about these vitamins, I will ask for these at my appt on Monday as I'm finding it difficult to swallow the pregnacare atm too. I also feel like they are giving me acidity atm.

I've had a letter through for a phone appt with an obstetrics? Is this normal? It's not until April.

@nadsc congrats on the scan, how annoying re. the photo. We had to pay for ours, which I hadn't realised ahead of the appointment.

Can't believe I'm 15 weeks tomorrow, hoping that the sickness and fatige will ease off soon as I'm still struggling. Off to M&S tomorrow to get some maternity bras as I've put it off long enough now and my poor boobs are suffering.

@nadsc fab news on the scan xx

@P1pk I got them last time and was told they don't get them now.. but was given a few tubs at my scan when I asked about them!
They are same size as the tiny folic acids 😅

Congrats on the scan @nadsc

I haven’t weighed myself but feel like I’ve gained so much already. I was at my lightest last summer and must weigh about double that now 🤣 I don’t actually care that much because I ended up gaining 4 stone last time and other than a few stretch marks on my legs (which I think I already had), I don’t think I got any stretch marks and the weight really did ‘fall’ off after, I think because suddenly I didn’t have a free hand to shove biscuits in my mouth and eat 7 meals a day 🙈 I seem to have slipped back into these ways already though!

@sally16 ah that's such a shame! I will still ask though lol

@Narwhal88 @BoodifulGoose @LS888 thank you for your thoughts re back pain. I do believe mine may be from doing a desk job too... on Fridays I have a different role and tonight the back pain hasn't woken me up! (This time heartburn has woken me
Up - which I never have so must be pregnancy related!)I also walked a lot yesterday so movement must help. I will try the yoga videos , thank you doe the recommendation

Has anyone else found resting difficult? Like in terms of balancing other people's expectations?

As some of you know, me and DH are buying a company. Well we missed the deadline this week. Basically, I have worked tirelessly in 2 jobs whilst pregnant and with a 2 year old, using my free unpaid time to speak to solicitors, get a contract put together, deal with negotiations and move us forward. I have given it absolutely everything I've got. The business is my husband's interest, but I've got more of a head for business, so I've been dealing with that side.

On Friday, the sellers put a ridiculous clause into the contract (2 days before completion) and my solicitor won't accept it. I've now got to wait on my accountant for professional advice to resolve it. My fees bill is ginormous, it's all very stressful, especially with a baby on the way.

So yesterday, the sellers phone me. And they basically tell me that its my fault we're not proceeding, I need to be more proactive in chasing the solicitors, I need to do more and I'm the problem.

They know I'm pregnant, they know I have a toddler and they know I have 2 jobs. They know i was very ill at work on monday and they know i had to actually take my first day off sick this pregancy on wed. They know ive had 2 miscarriages in the past. They also know that I provide the childcare so that DH be at their company 40 hours a week with his head in work. And yet, they chose to phone me, not him. I'm there 12-14 hours a week at most. He's furious, I'm furious and I can't understand it.

Having spent a lot of time crying and then getting angry, I've now woken up this morning wondering why I'm being treated like this, when I've gone above and beyond to do this, and even put my own wellbeing on the line dragging myself to work when I was too ill to be there. The conclusion that I've come to is that people have come to rely on me to get shit done, because im the only thing driving this forward, and now they can't handle it that I've lost control because 1) I am waiting on my accountant and like, I can't hold a gun to his head and make him work faster, and 2) I need to protect myself at the moment.

So basically, people can't seem to handle that I'm no longer working at maximum capacity. Has anyone else found this with work? That people are having a go at them for not doing as much? And do you have any tips to mentally let it go? I'm not really sure how to stop people pressuring me so much? And its driving me mad.

Is it not more appropriate to let them engage through solicitors rather than phoning you directly? They introduced a clause so how can that be your fault.
Only you know the terms of the takeover and what it's worth and ehat you will and won't accept

There comes a point where you put down a marker and say this is as far as I'm willing to go,mentally or otherwise. Do these people think you're going to keep bending or give them more or are they genuinely trying to get this across the line and can you just be very clear that you will be doing the takeover but not being there more than whatever per week and only available for phone calls re the matter between x and y.

Like can you set boundaries with these people and allocate some time for yourself and some respect for yourself and your health? Like they won't have any and will milk you both for all you're worth. Do you think you're being taken advantage of or is it a genuine attempt to sell and without the new term trying to take undue advantage or etc?

This sounds incredibly tough @Createcomet . I’m still struggling with looking after just one toddler. In general I think others are not very good at taking into account others’ circumstances. Are those you are dealing with mostly male? That surely can’t help if so.

@BMK to be honest, it's the first time they have tried to phone me and as I'm working in the company, I assumed it was an urgent work related query. Not an attack.

Of course, it is better to let the solicitors engage. And I have told them this and over and over again and I've refused to give them info over again and asked them to wait to speak to their solicitor. But they still push me despite the fact that I've said no and am clearly not backing down. Of course, I won't answer the phone again. But yeah, I think I'm going to have to set even bigger boundaries like you say and explain to them that I'm not on call 24/7 to deal with this. I just don't understand how they can expect so much of someone. It blows my mind.

@AnnieApple123 I totally agree. People just don't seem to be able to have compassion at the moment. They know they've pushed me past my limit and I'm now unable to do anything until I've got advice from the solicitor and the accountant, but they're still pushing me.

Well, I'm dealing with husband and wife team. They've never had kids (well, he has but they're a bit estranged) and they don't have grandkids who's lives their involved with. So that isn't helping me.

Hope you're doing okay? Are you feeling any better?

It's normal enough as they owe you nothing and want results do they are pushing to get ehat they want. Noone else is going to go fight for your interests so you have to. It's human nature particularly in business to push for as much as you can get. Probably a good sign that they're pushing you in 1 way as it's clear they want to sell. They don't understand being pregnant or having to mind a child. In their mind you're doing nothing and even less since pregnant! Just give YOURSELF space. Don't give them your energy and thoughts especially today Saturday when.you certainly should be resting etc. The fact you're writing here shows how much they're getting into your head. You can't do anything until hear from accountant and solicitor so shift your mental focus and put this out of your mind until you can act on it by speaking with accountant/solcr.

@Createcomet Oh that's not what you need! Next time if they have something to say they can go through your solicitor.

Got my screening results back, 1 in 2215 chance of Down Syndrome and 1 in 100000 chance of Edwards/Patau's. Not too bad considering the advanced maternal age.

@BusyBushBaby what a relief! So good you've got the results 💕

@Createcomet oh God I can't even imagine the stress you're going through. I'm sorry you are having to deal with that, it really is unreasonable

I've been having really bad sickness for this pregnancy so my husband has been taking our little boy on Saturday morning trips - last week was the aquarium and today was a museum. Usually I would be devastated to miss out but the sickness has been so bad that I'm just so grateful for the break. Today I'm actually feeling a lot better so got to enjoy the break which was nice!

@BusyBushBaby congrats on the results!
@Createcomet so sorry you're having to deal with this. I cannot believe how inconsiderate people are these days. Not having children is not an excuse to be a shitty human!
Hope you're able to have a good conversation with them and setting appropriate boundaries for you.

@sprollie11 I have a desk job too and the back ache is so horrid on top of the usual symptoms. I've started to keep a little stool under desk to keep feet lifted and I brought a lumbar support chair from amazon which has helped a bit last week.

I was wondering everyone else’s! Mine feel pretty bad compared to with my little boy but still says low risk! 1 in 7000 downs (1 in 17000 DS) and 1 in 28000 edwards and patau ( 1 in more than 50000 DS). But I’m over 30 now so presuming that adds in, plus slightly heavier!

So glad @BusyBushBaby that you were able to do the screening after all and that all is well.

@Marmaladebear I totally hear you about your toddler. Mine has gone for a sleepover with his grandparents for the second weekend in a row. I feel a bit guilty I’m not missing him more but I’m honestly just so grateful for the break. At nearly 15 weeks I’m still not feeling as well as I’d hoped by now.

@Createcomet I’m OK thanks. My latest fear is dying in childbirth. I keep telling myself it’s extremely rare these days but my mind still comes back with the argument that it does happen. I’m talking to my therapist on Tuesday so will see what advice she has about better to address this kind of thought.

@AnnieApple123 I'm really sorry you're feeling so anxious. I honestly think that hormones make the anxiety so much worse. I was finding my anxiety totally fine, until I got pregnant and now it's not as easy to manage. I really hope your therapist can help in some way 💛 definitely try and get some time to do things you enjoy too 😊

I'm really worried about the epidural because I've read that it can cause permanent or recurrent bad headaches, I have to have a planned c section so I don't know if there's anyway around that . Did anyone else have an epidural go badly?

Those sound very good indeed. Even with NIPT the lowest risk result they give is <1 in 10,000.

Oh shit my smear result eventually came back (had it just before getting pregnant) and I knew it wasn’t going to be great news since the nurse had said if I didn’t hear by Christmas it meant I had hpv and needed the second test. Sure enough my cells are abnormal and changes have been seen 😭 I know a lot of people who have had this so I know it’s obviously not anything awful but it’s just the fact I’m going to have to get the other tests while pregnant 🤦🏼‍♀️ It seems like the one I’d be sent for first is just a speculum and effectively a set of binoculars that look very closely at your cervix. So hopefully I get an appointment in for that soon, go to it and don’t need any further treatment. Just my luck 🙄