June 2023 Babies ☀️ (thread four)

[firsttimelondonmummy]

Hey all,
We are getting close to full so getting another thread ready 😊

I’ve returned to the 4am crew… currently dealing with stomach acid, tiny little flutters (which are cute), and I’ve brought my water bottle into the bed with me 👍🏻

@justbelieve have you managed to doze back off? I’ve just had my morning wee and waiting for DS to wake. Normally wakes up at about 6.

I'm awake too. Why am I wide awake when I have nothing planned for the day?, DH is going to work and I get a chilled day. I could sleep till midday, but noooooo. I wake at 5.45 am! Ffs!

I was awake at 3.30 this morning too. Full of cold and coughing. Might not be able to face work this evening as coughing is making me pee myself which isn't great. My body fails during pregnancy.

Can't function like this anymore so I decided to return to counseling next week, I think it will be a great decision. It will help me reduce the anxiety at least a little.
Had a super emotional day today due to something I won't bore you with (very long story) + long gap between movements (normal at this stage) and also... We got a few things from FB marketplace today so probably that triggered some 'but what if' fears. Just a few minutes ago I could feel the baby kick again, will start counseling so only onwards and upwards now...
First time mums, are you buying new stuff or getting hand me downs from friends or checking out second hand stuff on FB or elsewhere?
We'll treat ourselves (and the baby 😃) to a new pram, also getting new clothes at least to begin with but I really like the idea of getting other things second hand 🌏🌍
Marketplace finds so far: 0-15 months car seat, 0-4 years car seat, bouncer and next to me crib. The items look like new apart from the bouncer but I was absolutely set on this one 😃 That's us for now, we got clothes for the first two months or so, I think now is the time to focus on the emotional being and we will get a few more things later on.
I don't want to be doing a big shopping for everything later in the pregnancy as that will be the time for calming the nerves (many fears re things going wrong during delivery) + I think going to work will be exhausting so least I can do is try and get most stuff sorted by 32 weeks or so. I do appreciate though that many people only start buying things after 32-34 weeks and that totally makes sense.

Just catching up on here.
I am 24 weeks and 1 day now. I feel movements but can go hours without any and don’t feel anything when I’m busy/exercising, walking etc. it’s only really if I’m sat or lying down. Not sure if that’s normal however do know baby is growing fine.
My anxiety of something bad happening is another level. I work in maternity and therefore have seen all the things that can go wrong at every stage, and always convinced it will happen to me. Each week is a new issue. Now that I’ve reached viability then pre term birth is a real concern in my mind. It’s just draining.

I am however feeling more emotionally attached to the baby now I’ve made it to viability. I have just been mentally blocking myself from it before now.

i am suffering with a really stiff back/SI joints, especially after a long working day and even lying in bed hurts. Anyone else having this?

I am hoping to book a little holiday to the Canaries at the beginning of March at 27/40. I’ve been searching the maternity hospitals and trying to pick an island with a good neonatal unit (preparing for worst case scenarios). It seems Spanish healthcare is very good so that’s relaxed me into thinking it wouldn’t be so bad.

@ScrantonDunderMifflin counseling sounds like a good idea. Being able to understand that your emotions are not quite where you want them to be is a good start.

@skyofdiamonds we have need thinking of a UK weekend break. Both trying to save holiday where we can. Canaries does sound lovely though!

Also had a bad day of anxiety. Couldn’t feel baby most of the day. It’s been busy as we are on our babymoon, but I’m not enjoying it as spent most of the day worried that I couldn’t feel baby.

I felt the baby a bit this evening which calmed me down but not the big kicks of other days…I’m 22 weeks and 1 day. Hoping for a better day tomorrow

@skyofdiamonds can relate to all your fears.. it's from one thing to another! My goal at the moment is to reach viability (3.5 weeks to go). However, I think when we worry about where we need to get to next, we forget how far we've already come ❤️❤️ Apparently babies have no pattern until 25-26 weeks from what I've read, so I'd imagine it's normal and it's very encouraging you can feel the baby move when you sit down etc ☺️x Think my midwife said to start tracing from 26 weeks but it's been a while so can't remember properly. Re stiff back and SI, haven't experienced that (yet) so can't advise but hope things better for you soon.
@DrinkingAllTheGin thank you ❤️
@summerpoolandsun same, no proper big kicks today (so gentle they could be confused with gas?) but even feeling gentle movements has been encouraging and is normal at this stage but it's just so scary.

Also, I've been reading about correlation between stress and movement so appears babies move more when the mum is stressed but this research is from the 3rd trimester only x

Joining the 3-5am crew 😳 panicking wondering if yesterday's movements were actual movements and not gas so can't sleep.

I’m using 28w rather than 24w as the viability milestone due to the increased survival rate. I prefer the higher percentage but maybe I’m just overly cautious. Though I do know a, now perfectly healthy, child born at 24w.

23w tomorrow and starting to think about hospital bag. It’s too early right?

What are second (and onward) time mums planning for childcare? I was slow to start with DS but was fast when it got going. My mum has said she’ll be jealous if MIL has DS (I know, WTF) but we’re 45 minutes from the hospital and parents at least an hour in the opposite direction. BIL are 10 minutes away but probably can’t do more than a couple of hours as don’t do nappy changes. I suppose it depends on how I’m progressing and what time of day it is…

@PurBal I don’t think it’s too early to start thinking about a hospital bag. You don’t need to have it physically ready, but a list somewhere of the essentials that you could quickly grab if you needed sounds sensible to me. I think I might start my list, or find my old list 😂 I just know that haribo gummy bears are going to feature high on mine 🤤

For childcare it’s likely to be my dad and family. He’s 1hr away and has car seats for the kids already. My SIL would be next choice but no car seats and we can’t easily transfer our seats (we’re big on extended rear facing so the seats have tethers) so they would probably have to stay here.

Our ideal scenario is going into labour around 8 am just after we’ve dropped the kids at nursery so we have time to plan. Last time I had a sweep on the Wednesday, started getting vague contractions then but they slowed. Got my eldest collected on the Thursday afternoon but didn’t actually give birth until Saturday morning. However I do feel like arranging childcare was an element of stress and once that was sorted I could relax more.

@PurBal ive always had a couple of people on standby. I was extremely lucky to have a few friends nearby. Last time my son ended up at my step sons mum's, then with friends the following day.
This time I'm hoping the boys can go to their Dad's, he's only a few doors up, but need to double check with him. And my girls are older. At worst my eldest is still at home and will be days off being 20 years old, so she's on stand by x

Wow @Kladebs Sounds like you have a big family. I bet that's lovely so many of them. We're definitely going to have to stop at 2. Don't think my body can manage anymore after this. DD will hopefully be going to my mum's when dd2 comes but my parents are going on holiday end of May so if she comes early like DD did it'll be a problem. PILs will be available but they live 30 minutes away whilst my parents live on next street.

I'm alone tonight as DH gone to PILs to watch superbowl and DD gone with him for a sleepover. I'm sick with this horrible cough cold thing going around so should be at work really but I can't cough without weeing fully so work a no go. Just me and 4 cats.

@Fredthespider oo yes, if contractions start in the early hours then we can drop DS off at nursery on our way to hospital, have a straightforward labour (I was in active labour 6 hours last time), birth before lunch and back in time to collect him. 😂 optimism at its finest.

@Kladebs lovely that you’ve got so many people so close by!

@BellaTheDarkOverlord not moving near parents seemed like a good idea at the time but regret it a bit now. Get well soon, sounds like you need rest.

BIL lives close to hospital but they don’t have children so wouldn’t do nappy changes.

@ScrantonDunderMifflin have you been feeling LO today?

@PurBal I love the optimism! I was hoping drop DD off at school and be done in time to collect her 😂

Yes being close does have advantages. It was just a cheap house suddenly up for sale when we got engaged so moved straight in.

Hiya..

Can I please join this thread, long time lurker and first time poster.

This is our first baby and first time reached till 20weeks. We are here after years of trying and losses (2 CP and 2 MC with SMM, 3 IVF and 1 natural).

EDD is 28 June.

I have been extremely conservative in sharing the news with anyone. I told my immediate family at 10 weeks. After 20 week scan, they couldn't hold the excitement and have started sharing with extended family. I don't know how I feel about that. I am still not sharing with anyone unless needed. I am reluctantly telling my office this week to plan for Mat leave etc.

Also we know the sex of the baby but I am.keeping that close for as long as possible. I don't know why!!!

I already have severe anxiety and thinking to see a therapist, like a PP mentioned. I don't know what kind of therapist I would go to. If someone can guide, would be really helpful. I don't want to carry my fears when the baby comes in to the world.

Oh and I thought after 20week scan, I would be confident and less anxious. The baby was curled up and they could not scan heart, chest etc. Have been asked to come in again on 21st.

Baby's AC is very high and I am told that I might have GTT, turns out South Asian women are prone to it. Blood test for 1st March. Placenta is low lying as well, which seems to be common in IVF. Googled it and led me to a scary path!
All of it has dampened the planned excitement a bit....

Anyways, that's all about me and baby, glad to meet all of you xx

@BathshebaEverdeen I really want to reply to you as your message could've been written by me apart from the IVF part. Even our due dates are the same 🌸
As for counselor, I'd say try find someone who specialises in ivf, pregnancy loss, infertility, etc. I believe that such people will be better at understanding and advising compared to the ones who tend to deal with different issues on a daily basis. Since you had IVF, could you use the clinic's counselor. Even if it's been a while since your treatment, I'd definitely ask.
I had to go for a re-scan as well and the heart was also one of the things they needed to rescan as the baby was also curled up! Exactly like you, felt disappointed we couldn't tick all the boxes at the first scan as I was looking forward to getting that reassurance and walking out relaxed at the end of the scan. However, I want to say that re-scans are usually a lot less stressful and tend to be quicker ❤️ In the end I thought it was even better to have been seen by two different sonographers on two different occasions.
How are you feeling on the daly basis otherwise?
P.s. also haven't shared the news, even with the family! Just got this irrational fear that as soon as I let my guard down, something will happen. I think it would be useful to do counselling before you share and hopefully they'll help you process your thoughts and fears and make you a bit more relaxed with regards to announcing the news, I get you 100%.

@PurBal thank you for asking, had some kicks earlier in the day ❤️ hope you're well.

@BathshebaEverdeen Realised I replied before reading your last couple paragraphs. As this is IVF pregnancy, I really imagine that your clinics counsellor will see you 🌸

Thank you for your kind message @ScrantonDunderMifflin . I will talk to the clinic. I will also check with my insurance. Last time I checked with them, they told me they don't cover pregnancy related issues, let's see..

I really do hope second scan goes well. To be seen by second sonographer does sound good. Also now that I think about it, it will also give me option to track placenta movement. Hoping it moves upwards.

I feel exactly like you, like sharing it with others will take it out in to the world and something will happen, I am so glad someone gets it ❤. It is strange and sounds unreasonable from external POV.

I have been feeling some bubble like things, keep getting confused with gas sometimes. I really want DH to be able to feel the movements but seems that stage is at least couple of weeks away. Other than this, and now controlling my sugar intake and feeling exhausted, I am alright.

There is a baby show in Excel London, 3-5 March. Planning to go there before buying anything. Will book tickets after 21st, hope they will be available then.

@ScrantonDunderMifflin also this is not first time I have not shared anything with anyone. After the first loss, I stopped sharing anything with anyone(except DH). So no one in my family or friends know the whole journey, and this is one of the reasons I don't want to share.

We have a couple of siblings who could pick my kids up, not sure if they will stay at my mums if its an overnight thing. Both my other 2 were over night and I had the babies in the morning and was back home by 5pm. I feel like this third one is going to be a bit quicker so if I'm rushing to hospital I'm going to have a friend on standby who lives on my estate and my brother/sister or bil

My last one I was in hospital from Thursday until following Tuesday. She was my first so didn't have to worry about her. This time though if I have to stay in that long I'll miss her so much and I know she may not be able to visit. That poses another problem. I want DD to be first to meet her new sister and have the time with her alone. If she can't visit whilst I'm in hospital and I'm in for an extended stay I'll get grief from my parents that they want to visit to see new baby within hours of being born even if DD can't come. My mum can be quite manipulative and I know she'd look to try visit alone leaving DD with my dad so she can visit first. PILS are fine and will wait.