June 2023 Babies ☀️ (thread four)

[firsttimelondonmummy]

Hey all,
We are getting close to full so getting another thread ready 😊

@PurBal good luck for your scan!My DH also couldn't come yesterday but re-scans seem to be much much quicker and less scary ☺️

@BellaTheDarkOverlord I had covid last week and it was awful, ended up with heart issues and nearly passed out. So went to get baby checked and luckily baby was ok. I'm so glad I'm negative now. And I'm 24 weeks and the stretch under my breasts is so bad esp in an evening, I had the worst nights sleep. Think this is the beginning of sleepless nights!

@firsttimelondonmummy i started feeling flutters around 16-18 weeks then all of a sudden they went way less, and have now started up again at 24 weeks, but still no pattern, just as long as u feel some movement in a day. It's hard not to worry.

Just realised why iv forgotten about the MATB1 form, my last 2 pregnancies I was self employed. Work and the MW are still not being very clear about it, and also being very slow about it

@firsttimelondonmummy Glad your little one started kicking again. I'm 2 days behind you I think and had the same this week, went quiet for a couple of days then yesterday afternoon was back to normal. Its the second time its happened to me, they can be little rascals can't they! Its so hard to know when to worry and phone, even though it says to phone I don't want to for nothing. Its nice to know its normal for them to have quiet days at this stage though.

My husband said to me last night he thinks it looks like I'm finally starting to enjoy being pregnant now and I think he's right which is really nice. Was looking up some colour schemes and furniture for baby's bedroom when he said it although don't think we'll be decorating until April, its just nice to be feeling excited and that my anxiety from the first trimester is finally starting to calm down.

I'm also on the poorly train, I went to bed last night at 6pm and was then sick every hour until 4am this morning and it's now started again, I can't keep anything down and have got the worse headache ever, and rather embarrassed myself too cause I was sick so much I wet myself 😕 never been so mortified in my life

Went for rescan today and got everything needed off little madam, but she made us work for it 😂 all looking good. She's been rolling and flipping round during the scan so goodness knows why I feel her less.

I unfortunately am on the poorly train too, covid positive yesterday 😞 but feeling good luckily, just felt like a horrible cold the last 2 days and think I'm over the worst! I joked to my husband it was so bad I thought I had man flu!

Anyone else OH's getting impatient to feel bump? I feel her about twice a day but very noticeably, and he's getting sad he can't feel her yet 😞 think it will really help him bond! Can't wait!

@ScrantonDunderMifflin scan was in and out but a different opinion on the placenta. Anterior still but now considered low lying. Change from 2 weeks ago. They couldn’t tell me if it had been something they missed or not but we did ask questions about it so I think it’s a differing opinion. Glad it’s been picked up and she seemed fairly confident it would move. Back at 36 weeks to check. 🙏

@PurBal that's very good it's getting re-checked x

@Kelvie103 , @tigerlily0 so scary isn’t it 😭
Today I’ve been in the office and he’s been playing tennis in my tummy all afternoon 🤣 typical it’s the days at home when I’m alone he’s the quietest!

I think bubs is using my stomach as a trampoline today, the heartburn today is the worst I've had so far!

I had a lightbulb moment a few minutes ago when typing on another thread and realised why I'm still scared to announce even after my 20 week scan.
It's because of the lack of support after my losses. It changed most friendships (people really just didn't bother to find the time to meet up even if I'd ask to, some people made some awful comments). In my head it engraved this message that you're all alone in this (DH and I), and people will only drag you down. Of course it would be so nice to have support and encouragement on days when I feel wobbly, e.g
I went to the post office today and was all in tears by the time I came home and couldn't even explain to DH what happened, just anxiety kicked in. However, I'm being realistic (or pessimistic?) thinking telling people would only cause further stress... Something to think about, I wonder if it's really just worth being honest with people and telling them earlier (but only selected few such as our families, people at work, couple friends).

@ScrantonDunderMifflin I think it’s perfectly natural to want to keep it to yourself after loss. I’m naturally an external processor so I find talking about things therapeutic but DH is the opposite and totally would agree with the “people will only drag you down” thought. One of my closest friends, but one I don’t see often due to distance, only told me she was pregnant at 33 weeks. She similarly didn’t want to actively tell anyone due to loss. It’s a personal choice. X

@ScrantonDunderMifflin only you and DH can decide when is the right time for you to share.
I have had 1 previous loss and my experience with my friends was the opposite to yours which did make it easier to share.
There is no right or wrong answer.
If people are not going to be excited for you, then do they even need to know?

@PurBal @DrinkingAllTheGin thank you both for input. People would be happy but even the nicest people can have say misplaced comments sometimes. As for those that were truly mean, I don't speak to them anymore so definitely not telling them x At this rate I'm just over sensitive to comments that are said with good intentions but still could've been kept unsaid.
Had a threatened miscarriage with this pregnancy and due do certain circumstances, had to tell 3 people so not really by choice, but because of what happened when I was in the first trimester. So I already heard 'you're buying things early' from a sibling just because we went to get couple outfits to celebrate our 20w scan.. And another one of those three people was speaking to me recently and constantly saying 'if all is well' - just don't need this. But I'm definitely over sensitive ATM, that's for sure. But both of those are very well meaning people.

Hi all, I'm a bit confused about the timescales for claiming statutory maternity pay/providing MATB1. I'm in England. I read on here that I need to provide the MATB1 by 25 weeks but I'm looking at the gov website now and it says you need to give your employer proof that you're pregnant to get SMP - within 21 days of your SMP start date give your employer your MATB1.

So, my question is, do I need to give them the MATB1 form before 25 weeks or only 21 days before maternity leave starts?!

I haven't got it at the moment but am hoping to pick it up at my appointment next week when I'll be 24+6 days, so cutting it fine!

@NalaNana You can send your maternity leave application with MATB1 to follow, that's what I'm planning on doing ☺️
General consensus is to have it by end of 25 week (or 26 weeks) though but I might be wrong. Is your midwife based at your GP practice? I've seen people here saying they phone GP practice and asked for it to be left at reception.

Thanks @ScrantonDunderMifflin! My midwife appointments are at a family centre. I called them a couple of days ago to ask if I could collect it and they said they would call when it was ready for collection but I haven't heard anything yet. Seeing as my midwife app is next Tuesday I thought I'd just collect it then if it won't cause an issue but I don't want to be caught out! X

@ScrantonDunderMifflin My mum does this and says ‘if all is well’. I said can we please stop saying it because you’re making me think somethings wrong and it’s exhausting. Can’t we just enjoy it now, after everything I’ve been through (infertility, miscarriage, IVF)….I was pretty blunt but I just had to say it. I love my mum to bits and I know she’s trying to protect herself from the pain if this doesn’t work out, she wants this baby almost as much as I do. But I said to her, if we lose the baby at this stage no amount of protecting ourselves and preparation will make any difference. It will be completely devastating so we might as well enjoy this moment now. She did take what I said on board and has stopped saying ‘if all is well’. She’s also come shopping for clothes with me and it was very emotional and beautiful. So I would talk to maybe one or two of your closest friends/family and maybe spell out how you feel. Hugs.

@summerpoolandsun sorry to hear you've been through so much. I'm glad your mum has taken what you said on board ❤️
We started TTC before we got married, by the time we got married we had 2 m/c (my mum was aware) and after our wedding she said 'so you'll probably be trying for a family now'. As if we hadn't spend under a year prior to getting married 🤷

I struggle with the if/when thing as well, I tend to say “if” but want everyone else to say “when”. 🤦🏼‍♀️😂 I keep expecting to get less anxious as time goes on, but I think I’m only getting worse as feels like so much to lose. I like your view @summerpoolandsun - that we may as well enjoy it. No amount of mental gymnastics would protect us from the pain if anything went wrong at this point.

Currently also poorly - I think just a cold as no temp and Covid negative. Have weirdly developed rash on bump (which I really hope is unconnected) so popping to GP later.

My mum is the same. I saw her at weekend at my nans and they both started discussing a previous stillborn at 22 weeks in the family. I am 22+5 now so didn't make me feel very good. DH was very WTF. Luckily mum took the hint when I said can we please change the subject. If it was a passing comment fair enough but it was relentless talking about it for ages.

I just collected my matb1 form from gp. Midwife left it for me on reception. She's signed it.

@BellaTheDarkOverlord very sorry to hear that's what you've been through 😔x It's strange how sometimes even the ones who care about us don't understand the weight of their words x

After a MMC last year a family member sent us a card saying 'better luck next time' like I had missed out on a new job or a sale at a shop.
I knew she meant well but it still hurt.

@DrinkingAllTheGin what the actual... 😳 I guess it just proves how even without meaning any harm people can make very questionable gestures.

Indeed. However I haven't let it spoil our excitement over this baby and sharing it with family.