Due September 2023 after miscarriage 🌈

[Furbabymum15]

Hello ladies
I'm 44 and had 4 previous miscarriages..... Found out last wk I'm pregnant and incredibly anxious after so many losses and my age. Lack of symptoms aren't helping besides the stretching twinges.

Is anyone joining me in this journey?

Hi all, this may seem like a really silly question🙈 but I'm reading all your 16 week midwife appointment posts (congrats @HopefulBee!) and just realize I have a hospital NHS appointment booked for week 16 too but when I booked it they said it's for glucose challange/ diabetes test, urine infection and blood test? Is this what you are all referring too? If so I'm very excited as would love to hear the babies heartbeat again! I'm not a high risk pregnancy BTW just a regular one so just have the regular NHS appointments booked nothing extra. Sorry if silly question!

@HopefulBee oh wow; that sounds amazing! What area/trust are you in if you don’t mind me asking? That would be so reassuring!

@Skw11 I’m glad I’m not the only one! To be fair on the midwife it was supposed to be a week earlier (so still nearly 17 weeks) but my other half couldn’t get the time off and wanted to come with me so we asked for a different date and it got pushed back a week, so I guess it’s my own fault really! But will be nice for my other half to be there; he said he doesn’t want me to go to any of my appointments on my own! I think I’ve been a little less tired today, I didn’t want to fall asleep at my desk anyway so hopefully that’s a sign of things to come 🤞🏼

@Bizzybee900 mine is a 16 week appointment with my midwife at the local children’s centre. She has put me down for having the glucose test but I’m not sure when that will be, I think a little later on off the top of my head so sounds like it may be different? Although having said that I think she said about checking bloods/urine at that appointment too so maybe it is the same!

My 16wk midwife appt is next Thursday. Just at my GP surgery. Can’t take OH with me (I don’t think anyway). I’ve never had bloods taken by the midwife or a scan with them either. All they’ve asked me for is a urine sample, which I need to drop into the GP surgery before my appt.

Crazy how different places/trust operate! Is anyone through their GP surgery for the midwife?? Wonder if that’s the difference 🤔

Totally agree @kl1999 its so strange! I just assumed it would be the same for all but guess your right about different trusts doing different things!
@HopefulBee and @Astar21 when the midwife listened to the heartbeat at week 16 what did they use to hear baby heartbeat? Stethoscope? Just asking bc I know for sure my 16 week appointment isn't for a scan (different area of hospital) so wondering if this rules out hearing heart beat being included in appointment?

@Houseelf90 yeah I have an appt with a consultant during tomorrow's ante natal clinic so I think that's why my 16 week is a week later! Still on a few fertility/pcos meds so will be good to talk the then about what to keep taking if anything. Nice you're taking your other half, I'm not for the 16wk but he's keeping his phone nearby in case we gave bad heartbeat news.

@kl1999 it is very weird! My midwife appts are at my local hospital which is minutes from GP, maybe that proximity makes a difference. And midwives are allocated patients by surgery eg "I'm the xxx surgery midwife". So definitely connected to gp practice but not physically in it. Might depend on the building, who knows! X

@Bizzybee900 hi! Just to let you know I had my 16 week app yesterday and I never got any heart beat listened too :( just a check up, I'm in Scotland though so not sure if it's different. She said from my next app (24 weeks) we will listen to heart beat every time x

@HopefulBee that's wonderful news, so happy for you that everything is okay ❤️ it's amazing to hear isn't it. I'm excited for my scan too. Probably the first one where I won't feel sick with anxiety!

My midwife appointments are at my local hospital, but that's because I see a team who deal with pregnancy after loss, due to the recurrent miscarriages. Normally I think they're at the GP. At my 16w appointment they checked my urine sample, blood pressure, carbon monoxide test and asked questions/had a chat about what to expect the next few weeks. She asked me first if I wanted her to try and listen into the heartbeat, as they can't guarantee they always find it and it can cause anxiety.
@Bizzybee900 it was with a hand held doppler.

@Houseelf90 I live in the Netherlands now so I guess it might be a bit different, but never hurts asking right? And maybe you’ll give them an idea as to how to improve their services in your trust area.

@Bizzybee900 they listen to the heartbeat with a Doppler here as well, no ultrasound. They do it every four weeks until your 27 weeks and then every 3 weeks etc.

They don’t check urine or bloods here at all! Blood work just once at 11 weeks and again around 30 weeks for iron. Urine not at all. I find that strange as well…on
the other hand they do an extra anatomy ultrasound at 13 weeks and check heartbeat, blood pressure and growth of uterus every 4 weeks to begin with. You’d think that pregnancy is handled the same everywhere but not at all!

@Astar21 I know what you mean, my scan tomorrow is also the first where I’m not nervous (so far) because we just heard the heartbeat and I am seeing a tiny little bump now 🥰. Hope you have a lovely scan on Sunday! 💛

I figured that things do work differently in other countries. I moved from the Netherlands to UK and here they check my urine at every visit . I've had my first scan at 6 weeks already. They scan me every 4 weeks after 20 weeks. Also you get care in the Netherlands after baby is born at home for the first week or more I believe my sister told me that .

Hello ladies. I hope everyone is doing well. I’m feeling soo much better today. I think it must’ve been a bit of food poisoning on Sunday that got me. Possibly my fault for living life on the wild side and ordering eggs Benedict at breakfast. 🙈Don’t fancy that again any time soon.

That’s great news! @HopefulBee So nice to have a scan to look forward to on Friday. It’ll be lovely to see how much these babies have grown. 😊 I’m so jealous that you got to hear the heartbeat. That’s amazing about the heartbeat hour too! I wish that was a thing everywhere.

I had my community midwife appointment yesterday and she flat out refused to try for baby’s heartbeat saying that they’re too small at this stage and if she can’t find it then it just gives everyone a panic and they have to send me up a&e. So she just flat out refused. She was friendly enough and spent a lot of time answering questions. Checked my carbon monoxide/blood pressure and my water sample that was it. No bump measurements. Which I’m not that bothered about because I don’t really find them that reliable tbh. And normally I’d be panicking about not checking heartbeat but at least I’ve got the scan on Monday to hold me over.

@Bizzybee900 in my experience the 16 week appointment is usually at a local place with a community midwife. Not a hospital appointment. It’s more the midwife assigned locally to your area and they have a chat and check your blood pressure and things. In my trust it is booked independently of the hospital appointments. You could ask about it at your hospital appointment if you think it’s been missed. In the past the community midwife has used a handheld Doppler to listen to baby’s heartbeat. But this time I was not given that option.

@HopefulBee I hope your scan goes well tomorrow lovely! ❤ The heartbeat hour sounds like such a wonderful and comforting thing to offer to people 🌷

@Astar21 I hope your scan goes well too over the weekend! ❤

@CaliGirl47 So glad to hear you are feeling better! Just in time for the Easter bank hol too 🐣☀ I was given a graph chart at my 12week nhs scan, and they told me to take it to every midwife appt. I wonder if they will actually bother to measure me or not 🤔😅

You would think, regardless of trust or area, that they would all follow the same rules/requirements - it's kind of crazy to me that they don't!

Can I also ask/share, has anyone experienced any days yet where they just feel incredibly down and deflated? Yesterday, I don't know why, but I felt so upset and did actually shed a few tears once I got home from work. I felt like the world was on my shoulders and I honestly got my pj's on and lay in bed, feeling super sorry for myself. It was a really strange feeling, like waves of sadness and stress washing over me. It was a little overwhelming. I feel much better today, but just can't understand where it came from. I know hormones can play a huge part and right now, I've full of them. I just felt really sad and I honestly, don't know why.

Thanks everyone for your kind words ☺️.
such a shame that some of you were refused the heartbeat exam, and it’s so strange how everyone’s experience differs - even within one country!

@kl1999 Sorry to hear you were down yesterday. I guess it is probably just hormones as you say, and perhaps the stress and fear of the first few months catching up with you? Sometimes these things hit us afterwards when we allow ourselves to relax a bit. I haven’t had sth like this happen to me around this time of pregnancy but I remember with my first child, I had a very tearful breakdown around 37 weeks where I also just felt overwhelmed and like nothing was working out the way I wanted jt to… this was mostly related to feeling exhausted but wanting to clean the whole house haha. Anyway just to say, it can happen, those hormones can really play a number on us, and just take it easy and be kind to yourself. Things usually look better after a good rest, and maybe some chocolate 😉.

@HopefulBee thanks so much for this 💗

I do think it is down to my hormones, as I had a great day at work and nothing bad had happened to make me feel so down. I’ve been struggling with food and drink due to my taste buds changing and the metal taste in my mouth for a few weeks now. So do wonder if I just got teary because I was hungry and maybe a little dehydrated 🥲

Chocolate and some relaxation is something I will remember for next time! Although hoping as the weeks roll on, I’ll be back to eating and drinking as normal, which I know will make me feel heaps better 🤞🏽 xxx

Does anyone know if it’s normal, or have any of you had an appointment through at 28 weeks at the hospital/antenatal unit?
I’ve just had an appointment come through go text and trying to work out what it’s for!
I saw an Obstetrician last week who was going to refer me to a heart disease specialist, but he thought they would discharge me back to the midwife. I am wondering if it’s to do with that as I don’t think the appointment is with my midwife as she doesn’t usually do appointments at the hospital, and I would have thought she would book any future appointments directly with me as she’s done so far! Thanks 😊

Sorry; ignore the above, I’ve finally managed to find more details on my online portal and it looks like it’s for the Glucose tolerance test! I wish they would tell you these things when they send the appointments out!

I can totally relate to the fluctuating hormones and range of emotions. Some days I feel great and very hopeful and then sometimes I get this pit in my stomach. Like now. I’m lying here awake at 4 am on the edge of bursting into tears because I have this sinking feeling that it’s all going wrong again. I’ve got this really bad feeling that I’ll go to the scan on Monday with DH and DD and the sonographer will tell me there’s no heartbeat 😭😰 I had been feeling baby flutter about most days at least once a day. And I had such a busy day yesterday out and about I didn’t feel anything all day. So a couple of times in the evening I ate something cold and drank some orange juice and lied down and still nothing. And I’ve just got this awful feeling that it’s all going wrong. Now I’m wondering when did my boobs stop being so sore? Surely they were sore just the other day and now they’re not. Was it the food poisoning/bug? Had something happened to baby? I just feel absolutely helpless. And I know there’s probably nothing anyone can do even if something is going wrong with baby. But I’m really finding it very hard to think about anything else. I’m just so scared of having bad news again and this time my DD will be there for the scan and I just don’t know if I can hold it all together if it’s bad news. I’m wishing away the hours until Monday's scan and absolutely dreading it at the same time. So sorry for the rant. I just needed to get this out of my head and I don’t feel like anyone else really understands the mental load of it all. Sending love

@CaliGirl47 I’m so sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time/ had a hard time last night. It’s so difficult when those anxious thoughts start taking over. Im
not sure if it helps, but here are a couple of thoughts from an outsider’s perspective:

1. The sinking feeling is likely just nerves because you let yourself relax and your past experience taught you that things can go wrong unexpectedly. I had the exact same feeling before my last appointment and was so scared, and all was well. So remember this is not a gut feeling, it’s just nerves brought on by our histories.

2. It is highly unlikely for something to go wrong at this stage. Chances at this point are 0.3% percent or something like that. And having a child already means you know your body is definitely capable of carrying a baby.

3. Not feeling flutters everyday is completely normal at this stage. You won’t feel baby regularly until closer to the third trimester. That’s why we don’t have to do kick counts until later on pregnancy - something as simple as baby changing position could mean you won’t feel it anymore.

I know sometimes rational thoughts don’t help, and then all you can do is try distracting yourself and tell yourself all is ok until Monday, but I hope you get maybe some comfort out of them at least. Sending hugs!

Thanks @HopefulBee that is really helpful. I really appreciate you taking the time. I need to keep telling myself these rational realities and not let my heart and head be ruled by emotions and past experiences. 💓

Wishing you all the best for your scan today. I hope you get a lovely view of your precious babe. 😊

@HopefulBee hope your scan went well yesterday ❤️

Your advice to @CaliGirl47 is spot on. This group is so supportive and understanding, I feel so much love and care from everyone - it’s amazing.

I hope everyone is doing well and having a great weekend 💛🐣

The scan was really lovely, so nice to see baby again! And it’s a girl!!! We are super happy, two girls two years apart will be lovely for our first daughter. And we kind of felt we might be girl parents 🥰.

Hope everyone is having a lovely Easter weekend!

Congratulations @HopefulBee that's great news all going well! And I appreciate your advice to @CaliGirl47 too, going to remember it all for my nervous moments! I had a good outcome last week as at the end of my consultant appt about meds she took a look at baby and showed me baby and heartbeat! Not as detailed as the 12 wk but if was so good to have a quick look and hear the heart beating. That will definitely keep me going ♥ hope you're all OK x

Congratulations @CaliGirl47 💕
And your advice is fantastic! This group is amazing for support!

I hope everyone is having a great weekend, good luck to those who have scans over the next few weeks 🥰

Oops, should have said few days 🙄🙈 baby brain in full force!! So good luck to those who have scans in the next few days and next few weeks!