Due August 2023 (Thread 2)

[AnnieApple123]

Can’t believe we’re onto a second thread already. Hope this doesn’t put any newbies off, as I don’t think we’re even halfway through possible due dates yet. Anyone welcome to join in.

I wanted to start off by reassuring TheBirdintheCave that I have no nausea either and had none whatsoever all through my last pregnancy. Thinking of you and hoping your current fears turn out to be for nothing. xx

@TheBirdintheCave sorry you’re feeling this way, it’s really hard to stay positive 😢 I’m 7 weeks now which is when the last baby stopped growing. I was doing okay with the anxiety until now☹️

@ChloeN It's just the worst. I've been reading up about low dose aspirin and wondering if I should have been taking that from the start and panicking that if/when this baby dies it will all be my fault for not trying everything.

@TheBirdintheCave ive seen people talk about aspirin too, but then I didn’t dare take it without being told too! It’s hard to know what to do, because if you had of taken it and something did happen to the baby you’d be blaming yourself still!

@ChloeN Yep I guess so as it's my stupid body that can't grow another baby :(

@TheBirdintheCave sorry to hear you are having a hard time.
Try to stop beating yourself up though. You are doing all you can ❤️

@TheBirdintheCave Sorry that you're struggling so much. Do you have anyone - partner, close family member etc - you can speak to about your worries? The private scan sounds like a good idea. Something to count down to (which will then hopefully give you reassurance). My symptoms definitely came and went with my son. With this pregnancy - I've started feeling nauseous, but my boobs don't hurt anywhere near as much as they did last week x

@SnowL2021 I've told everyone. It's all I think about or talk about. Utterly exhausting for everyone involved. There's just nothing else I can do but wait for the baby to die.

Having this all happen over Christmas is just the worst. It's ruined all of our plans.

@BCxx That sounds like an awful work experience. Glad you’ve managed to find some respite and get your positive. Never say never but I’m not envisaging at the moment that I’ll ever go back to working in school full-time.

@Alexandra07 Goodness no, my DS definitely didn’t have any additional testing after birth. I’ve never heard of that. I was just told I’d need very close monitoring during pregnancy as, until the baby’s own thyroid formed, it would be dependent on mine and would be at increased risk of miscarriage and developmental problems if my dosage wasn’t managed properly. I’ll let you know what the obstetrician I’m seeing next week says.

@TheBirdintheCave do you/can you afford to see a counsellor/therapist?

I just wonder if it might be a good idea for you. I know your measurements were small but you saw growth between your last scans (if I remember right) and symptoms are not consistent enough to go by as they're so different pregnancy to pregnancy and day by day, that I worry that you're causing your self more stress and upset than is necessary by comparing to others/previous days?

I have a therapist to talk through my anxieties with and it really helps put things into perspective, and learn good coping mechanisms to get through these early days.

@TheBirdintheCave Don't worry about how exhausting it is for other people. If talking about it helps you, they won't mind listening. (Same about this thread - don't leave it on any of our accounts, only leave it if you're finding it harmful/unhelpful to you) x

Welcome @Olofsdaughter . I’ll also be 40 by the time of delivery. I’ll be at a Central London hospital where this thankfully isn’t considered a big deal at all. When I visited last week there was a lady of 44 and nobody batted an eyelid.

@Blondbombsite This pregnancy has been very similar so far to my last one. So I’m tending to assume it’s another boy but know they say it doesn’t work like that.

@TheBirdintheCave I wish there was something we could say to reassure you more. I think you’re about the same gestation as me (just over 7 weeks)? If you look at the miscarriage reassurer site (datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer) the odds from here are really quite good and improving everyday. The fact that you’ve seen a heartbeat is very encouraging too (aren’t there positive stats too for having seen a heartbeat at different gestations?). It’s much, much more likely that you’ll be having a baby next summer than not.

@BoodifulGoose Probably but I wouldn't know where to start with that :/ And yes, there was growth but it wasn't much at all so I expect the heart beat to have stopped by now.

@SnowL2021 My parents have already decided to go to my brother's house for Christmas instead. Everyone agrees with me that the baby is probably dead and my brother and SIL are pregnant with a living one so it makes sense for them to go where there are happy people.

@TheBirdintheCave your literally doing everything you can! This is the shit part of pregnancy I think.. no one knows what's going on, scans are all a bit unreliable until around 12-13 weeks for correct dating due to fluctuations in growth etc!
If it helps when I was pregnant with DS I saw no heart beat at 6 weeks and was smaller.. they thought I had my dates wrong and ovulated later but knew it was the correct dates..
Fast forward to 13 week nhs scan where I was waiting on bad news and he had grown dramatically and was right where he was meant to be!
I'd maybe call your midwife and ask about anything else you can be doing like aspirin if it's even a thing? My friend had to take it but it was due to her weight more than anything xx

@AnnieApple123 I just wish I could believe it but it seems so unlikely to me. I've stopped looking at that odds website as it still just feels like 50/50 to me because yeah, there's currently a 93.4% chance that I won't miscarry (according to that website) BUT someone has to be in that remaining 7% so why shouldn't it be me? I've already had one MMC (admittedly it never had a heartbeat) so I feel like that increases my odds of something bad happening again.

@sally16 I think the aspirin thing is too late now. I would have had to have started taking it earlier I think. Pretty sure whatever damage is done, is done now.

@TheBirdintheCave There’s a bit on the site where you can add in number of previous miscarriages (see ‘Provide Additional Maternal Information). Having had one doesn’t change the odds by nearly as much as you might think.

@TheBirdintheCave I hope I didn't come across as insensitive, I just very much identify with the anxiety that it sounds like you're experiencing, I also immediately go to worst case scenario, and know how much counselling helps 💙

I found my therapist through www.counselling-directory.org.uk, a lot do online now so you can expand your search location if you want.

I can't remember if you've said what you do for work/if you're currently working, but a lot of workplaces have EAP's (Employee Assistance Programs) that can offer free sessions.

I had had two rounds of NHS support that did nothing for me, then was encouraged to go through my work by my boss, got 6 free sessions that were so good I found my own private therapist and have been seeing her for 2 years now.

It may be worth asking HR if you have a system like this, if you're not comfortable asking a higher up.

Hope this helps 💙

@Olofsdaughter congratulations! I am 41! Probably the oldest here! Are you planning to do the nipt test? I didn't do it last time, but this time i want to as soon as I can.

@TheBirdintheCave if the embryo had stopped growing wouldn't you have got your period by now? Only 2% of women have two miscarriages in a row. If this pregnancy doesn't work, it doesn't mean it was your fault. You can't do much to avoid any chromosomal anomalies in the embryo, this is the most common reason for early miscarriages. Could you go ahead with the early scan so you can either get a closure or reassurance? Maybe worth talking to a professional about your feelings. You can stay here as long as you want and as long you don't feel more anxious reading everyone else's comments! x

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Sorry everyone, I'd typed a post and something's gone wrong somewhere. No idea what's happened but I'm not great at technology so it's not surprising 😂

@Blondbombsite I've noticed a difference between my two pregnancies, I have a lot of symptoms currently that I didn't have before, or the severity of symptoms are different. I'm really curious if that's the same for anyone else?

@Loudmouth1 yeah definitely! I would have left just now just to end this feeling of constant worry about going back but feel like doing myself out of mat pay is probably not a great idea 🤦🏼‍♀️ Not sure how I’m making it til then but I’ll take it a few weeks at a time 🙈 That’s great you do something you enjoy now!

@Olofsdaughter welcome! I have really similar symptoms to you. I haven't had a coffee since the weekend which is unheard of for me! Frankly, almost everything is making me feel queasy and i was sick for the first time this morning. I'm also waking up in the early hours 3am-5am, feeling nauseous and stressed about life in general!
I'm due 9th aug according to LMP, I have no idea when I ovulated.

@TheBirdintheCave
All is not lost yet, I have my fingers crossed for you.

@Rowanandremy I’m definitely noticing a few symptoms sooner than last time! It’s the severe hunger that’s getting me.. could have honestly had three breakfasts this morning. Was full on starving every 2 hours 😂

@BCxx Can you start your maternity leave at 29 weeks?