Terrified of my body changing after pregnancy

[EllieVx]

Hi all,
looking to conceive soon and I am beyond paranoid (full on anxiety daily and sleepless nights) about my body changing.
I don’t really want to hear any ‘we all change, love yourself stuff”
I have been fit and slim my whole life, I have abs and a great fit figure.
Does it really change much? could I be the same as pre pregnancy? It seems to be two extremes, mum tums and those that snap back?
any one else been very slim and fit and then got pregnant?
I run 3x weekly (5 and 10km), weight lift, spin classes etc.

will my body be ruined? Or can it be the same? Not bothered about scars, stretch marks, pigment (I already have scars from abdominal surgery), I just don’t want a flabby stomach, currently mine is like chopping board flat. I have never owned spanks in my life, I own no shape wear and I don’t want that to change.

the anxiety that my husband won’t find me attractive and that I know full well I won’t find myself attractive either is unbearable.

I want children so much but I’m so frightened that I won’t be a good mum because I 100% wouldn’t love myself anymore.

thanks in advance all ❤️

It can happen. I was very fit with a BMI of about 20/21 when I got pregnant. I stayed slim throughout pregnancy. A week after delivery most people would have struggled to guess I’d given birth. Four months on my core strength is decent, although nothing compared to what it was before.

But I had a tiny baby. Tbh I’d have preferred him to be bigger and stronger and sacrificed my stomach a bit more. I had your anxieties before conceiving and sometimes irrationally worry that I cursed DS.

I had the same worries! I think my strong abs helped hold the baby in and I didn't get a huge bump. DC was perfectly healthy. I had a decent time off exercise (6 months) to really allow myself to heal and recover. During this time I was 3kg more than my usual weight. Once I started building up exercise again, my weight and strength gently returned to normal. It's certainly possible to avoid the 'mum tum' if it's what you want.

I'm slim and had very defined abs before I fell pregnant with my daughter. My daughter was average size and I managed to get back to where I wanted fairly easily, I didnt particularly diet but started working out when I felt up to it. My stomach went back to being flat within a couple of months and had defined abs again sometime after. I had an emergency c section and was conscious about the pouch but that also went within 2 months, I rebuilt a strong core too (was v strong pre baby). I probably was a couple of kgs more than pre pregnancy but could of lost that if I'd made more effort, but I was happy and knew we wanted another baby. I'm now pregnant again, I don't plan on rushing it, but think I will make a bit more effort this time as know I don't want anymore.

To be honest I think so much has to do with how much weight you put on. I had v big babies but put on 2 - 2.5 stone and I have a 23/24 inch waist and a flat stomach. I don't even do sit ups. Skin is taunt too. My body is no different, probably better actually. However I do know people who put on 3/4 stone and while they have got back to their pre pregnancy weight and below in some cases they say their stomach looks like a deflated balloon. Really like anything, prevention is better than the cure. Eat you normal diet, maybe a bit more towards the end and you will be fine.

My body went completely back to normal after DC1. flat small stomach etc.
After Dc2 and Dc3 it didn’t.

I 100% wouldn’t love myself anymore This might piss you off but I just feel really sorry for you that you feel this way. Whether it happens with pregnancy or later through ageing, you are going to lose your looks and figure one day.

It is good to take care of yourself and I understand you feel good having a good figure, but it really isn't something that should affect how you feel about yourself to this extent.

The truth is that no one can tell you how your body will change. Some people are (virtually) unchanged, some are changed a bit, some are changed a lot.

Becoming a mum is a frightening time as we lose a lot of control - or rather the illusion of control as none of us have much control really anyway.

I’ve seen it go either way, no rhyme or reason. But what they say that is true, is, you’ll be knackered and far too busy being In love with your baby to give your figure as much head space as pre baby

As you are in such good shape it is likely any changes would be minimal.

However it self esteem sounds very low, it might be worth exploring therapy that will help you be more confident in your worth, attractiveness and relationships.

It’s interesting what we worry about at the time, some don’t want to breastfeed as they think it will ruin the shape of the breast

i was worried about having a difficult labour and ahem a busted vagina and a ruined sex life 😵‍💫
in the end I only cared about them and their outcomes
Always went back to pre pregnancy weight and developed a small patch of stretch marks on one hip after third pregnancy so who knows what will happen?

I had anorexia pre pregnancy.
Gained a lot of weight, haven't lost most of it and overweight now.
And I'm happier and more accepting of my body than I've ever been. Motherhood changes your priorities, you realise how fantastic your body is. If these thoughts are really strong I suggest therapy because to be fixated on your body like this is unhealthy and a path to misery.

I haven’t changed at all, and neither have the friends I can think of.
However, it’s really challenging to nurture a child to have good self-esteem if you don’t have any yourself, and it’s heartbreaking when your kids are unhappy. It’s also easier to do therapy when you are childless.

It's not something you can predict, you can keep weight gain minimal but you can't control whether you will end up with DR or a hernia. If it's going to cause you this much distress then this might not be the right time to become a mum.

I had similar worries but was pleasantly surprised by how quickly my stomach went back to normal. I exercised quite a lot before pregnancy so having strong abs beforehand may have helped. Now I'm still holding on to a few extra kilos but I don't care at all as I feel pretty fit and strong again. Having a baby has definitely shifted my priorities but I still make it to the gym a few times a week.

You do need to accept that you won't be in full control of how your body changes during pregnancy though, it sounds like maybe you need to get yourself in a better headspace about this OP? Hopefully you'll feel proud of your body for growing a baby and you can be accepting of any permanent changes that might happen.

I was a slim size 8 when I got pregnant, did a lot of weight training etc. Ate healthy.
Despite best efforts I put on a lot of weight during pregnancy and I was worried. However I did lose it and my stomach was the same as pre pregnancy about 4 months later. I did get a mum bum, e.g. it got big in pregnancy then just went completely flat IMO after, but I'm sure a good amount of effort in the gym would get that back. Boobs also not amazing but not terrible either.
There is no telling really but most of my friends who were slim and gym goers before look the same after. Just try and eat healthy and stay active if possible. My most depressing thing after was pelvic girdle pain that lasted 7 months, it wasn't my appearance that bothered me it was my physical well being.

Absolutely your body doesn't have to be ruined. I think the most important thing is to eat well and not put any excess weight other than baby and water. If you can breast feed after, that helps a lot with the stomach going back to normal. After giving birth, my stomach felt like jelly but I could feel pulling inside when I was feeding the babies. I had a section on my daughter (6lb 6oz) - very neat scar, unnoticeable now. My son was 8lb and a natural birth although they had to cut the perineum (had stitches and healed well). No stretch marks and I was my usual weight within a couple of months.

I did feel a bit of a wreck after birth but that passed. I had mine at age 35 and 37. I was an office worker and not overly active.

My DC is 18mo, if anything I’m thinner now than is was before 😂

Some of my bone structure changed, my rib cage and hips got wider but I’m now back in my pre-pregnancy jeans, which are baggy round the legs as I’ve lost weight through breastfeeding. My stomach is flat, no stretch marks or scars and back to being a size 8. AND I had a huge bump, they kept sending me for growth scans.

I didn’t actively try to loose weight afterwards I just enjoyed going for lots of walks and still breastfeed which I’m sure is why the weight has fell of me because I eat like a horse.

I was 26 when I had DS, idk if that makes a difference.

I was 22 and in good shape when I fell pregnant with my DS, I snapped back relatively quickly after birth but he was a small baby and I was left with no excess skin, I do have a small C section pouch though.

Unless you have a huge amount of family support, your daily life changes dramatically and fitting exercise in and having the energy in the early days were tricky for me.

I was similar to you for DD1 and lost my weight super quickly. I made a mental effort to work out and walk loads. I watched what I ate and managed very well. I’m currently pregnant with DC2 and I have put more weight on this time round as I am much hungrier. However I plan to workout and walk lots and eat healthy once baby is here. Looking and feeling strong is very important to me despite the babies. I didn’t have that shift in mentality about not caring about my figure; it’s a part of who I am and so I’m determined to get back to my best self.

Yes it happens. I've now got a bulge from an emergency c section. You've gotta get over it.

I'm 6 months PP, noone could tell I've had a baby. She was 8lbs and I only gained 18lbs, doctor had no concerns. Lost all the weight when she was born. So I'd say don't gain too much weight and you'll be fine.

I think ago also had a play in it. 1st at 31 and back to more or less as I was. 2nd at 38/39 and I still have a bigger tummy and no defined tummy. But I am not a gym person either. I am currently still breastfeeding her at 2.5 and waiting to see what happens once I finish feeding her as some people carry extra weight when feeding.

I had these concerns. I had a six day per week ashtanga practise and was very fit and lean. I'm about 3 stone heavier now, with underlying fitness still there (I think!)

I thought I would hate myself and care massively, but I honestly don't. My body has produced another human and is in the process of creating another one. My earlier vanity has just disappeared.

Sorry age not ago... autocorrect

Don't worry, I was fit before, put on 2.5 stone and had a big baby. But I'm 5 weeks post partum now and have started training again and most of the weight has dropped off by itself.

I thought this about myself but annoyingly my super flat stomach is still nowhere to be seen. And trust me, I've tried