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Original poster

HELP! CRISIS! Disaster with pregnancy scan - please help

90 replies

runwiththemoon · 31/01/2008 17:48

Right, here's the problem. My sister is very happily married to a wonderful man and they have two kids. My sister suspected she was pregnant and took a test which was positive. So far so good. Working out the dates, they guessed she must be well over nine weeks (as they hadn't had sex since then!) Sister slightly suprised she had had a period though since last sex though...

WELL. Gone for dating scan today and hospital say definately only six weeks.

S**t hits fan.

I know my little sister and I know she is telling me the complete truth that she has not slept with anyone else. Husband unsuprisingly wants to know how this baby can have been conceived if there has been no sex since well before xmas.

What the hell has happened? Can scans ever be so very wrong? I wondered if there could be a growth problem with the baby? What's the likelyhood of pregnancy if there was no penatration but a bit of, shall we say, horseplay?

Meanwhile my sister and her husband are falling apart. He is not talking.

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MAMAZON · 31/01/2008 17:50

dating scans are notoriously dodgy.

go withher dates and tell her Dh not to panic.

captainmummy · 31/01/2008 17:50

I would say there's prob. a bit more wrong wit the relationship if they haven't had sex for 9 weeks.

whomovedmychocolate · 31/01/2008 17:56

My dating scan said five weeks then two weeks later nine weeks. They are crap in the first 12 weeks.

The other thing is.....pregnancies don't all develop in a linear way - sperm can live for up to a week in the fallopian tubes and then embed after another three days - so that takes her up to eight weeks. It's quite easy to see how the dating scan could be at least a week out.

But if he doesn't trust her enough to wait a few weeks for a follow up private scan on a decent machine with a non-hurried operator, yes they do have trouble ahead.

scorpio1 · 31/01/2008 17:56

but baby's at that age - different between 6 week baby and 9 week baby is big. 6 week looks like a dot, at 9 weeks they have noticeable limbs, head etc.

chances of baby being made from horseplay are remote.

Original poster
runwiththemoon · 31/01/2008 17:58

anyone elses dating scan been three weeks out?

OP posts:
ScoobyDoo · 31/01/2008 18:00

Can they go for a private scan, not sure if it would be any different.

If she totally swears blind that she has not been unfaithful then it will prove itself in the end, bit of a shame if the scan is wrong though because of whats happening for them now.

wannaBe · 31/01/2008 18:02

. I would say it might be possible, but for the fact she had a period.

and the difference between 6/9 weeks is quite a lot - at 6 weeks some sonographers wouldn't even detect a heartbeat wheras at 9 weeks the baby looks more like a baby, iyswim?

did they detect a heartbeat?

if not then she has possibly had a missed miscarriage, if there is a heartbeat then I would imagine there might be something your sister is not telling you, esp if both absolutely sure they haven't had sex for 9 weeks.

Flllightattendant · 31/01/2008 18:02

Sorry, he sounds like a bit of an idiot and very insecure. Your poor sister, I bet it's the last thing she needs right now. He needs to grow up or shut up.

Flllightattendant · 31/01/2008 18:05

Yes, well at least a week out, anyway. My dates were right in the end.

wannaBe · 31/01/2008 18:07

FA i think that's a bit harsh. The couple don't have sex for 9 weeks and then she finds out she is 6 weeks pregnant - I think any man would have a right to be concerned about that.

Sibble · 31/01/2008 18:08

My dating scan was wrong - the consultant cheerfully asked dh 'if he was there at the conception as the dates were wrong!!' . To make matters worse I had been away at a conference around the dates he gave me. FOrtunately dh is a laid back bloke who laughed but in other circumstances, like your sister's, it could have caused havoc. I have no answer except it's something they have to work through or it will be a long and rocky 9 months til the birth. I hope they work it out.

cece · 31/01/2008 18:11

Mine was a week and half out at 9 weeks and then by 12 weeks it was spot on,. That is why they normally set your official dates till you are 12 weeks.

DaDaDa · 31/01/2008 18:15

"I would say there's prob. a bit more wrong wit the relationship if they haven't had sex for 9 weeks. "

That's helpful. Different strokes (or fewer of them) for different folks...

I think he owes her a little trust unless he has further cause for suspicion that something has been going on.

Lulumama · 31/01/2008 18:16

they need another scan ASAP

it might be the baby has stopped developing hence only measuring 6 weeks rather than 9

the difference between a 6 and a 9 week foetus is a big one

sounds like there is a massive trust issue that has been brought to the fore

scaryhairycat · 31/01/2008 18:17

With 'horseplay' its very unlikely, but it depends on the type of horseplay, iyswim. It could be possible I suppose, it only takes one sperm after all. If it involved any kind of penetration of the vagina with the penis, then it could be quite possible as sperm is sometimes in the semen which is released before ejaculation occurs.(so sorry to be so graphic!, just trying to help!)

Wilkie · 31/01/2008 18:18

My BF was 3 weeks out, she had it down as 12 weeks and at the scan they said 15 weeks. She arrived almost two weeks late so I think BF's dates were right.

Your sisters DH sounds like a prat though. Your poor sis

The only other thing I would say is possibly a growth problem with the foetus??

Flllightattendant · 31/01/2008 18:18

Wannabe, sorry it was a bit harsh, you're right - I was having flashbacks to my own 'not talking' b*stard of a partner when I was first pregnant, and it came out rather over the top. My apologies.

wannaBe · 31/01/2008 18:18

but in early stages of pregnancy there is quite a bit of difference between a week and three weeks. And tbh the "evidence" isn't exactly on her side:

she had a period.
then dating scan confirms that she is as pregnant as she would have been if she had conceived after that period.

Flllightattendant · 31/01/2008 18:21

Nobody knows the truth except her, I just hope it gets sorted out.

QuintessentialShadow · 31/01/2008 18:22

I had a small period when I was around five weeks pg with DS1. I did not realize I was pregnant at the time. I just wondered why my period was suddenly so light, and lasted so short time, only when I missed my next period was I concerned. The first scan was out by aroudn 2 weeks. My dates were adjusted again at the 20 week scan.

Original poster
runwiththemoon · 31/01/2008 18:22

Trust thing is hard, go on be honest... put yourself in his shoes and tell me you would have not one second of doubt?

As for lack of sex, not really your business but they have 3 yr old twins, she works nights...give them a break!

OP posts:
Flllightattendant · 31/01/2008 18:23

It would depend on whether I trusted her or not, honestly. If I knew she was an honest person, I would not doubt. Especially not to the point where I'd stop communication...

hatrick · 31/01/2008 18:25

This reply has been deleted

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Dropdeadfred · 31/01/2008 18:26

I had two periods when pg with 1st dd. Btreakthrough bleeding can happen all the way through each month for some women

belgo · 31/01/2008 18:27

No actually, if I was in a trusting relationship, I would not have a second of doubt.

More likely there is a problem with the scan, or a problem with the pregnancy itself; and it's not devoling exactly as it should.

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